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Herbalists' Cache Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Printable Version

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Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 05, 2015

Oh oh oh oh! Thank God. Forest. Glorious. Glorious forest. At long last. It was nice to finally see something green again. Kero stepped one foot beneath the bows of that first tree and breathed in that sweet scent of forest sap. Deep breath. In. Out. It was a wonderful thing trees. So wonderful, in fact, he could practically kiss the very tree before him. Sweet. Sweet tree. 

Kero lowered his head, placing the flat of his crown against it. He leaned into the bark, feeling the solidarity of the trunk before him. It was real. There was something of relief in him as he realized he was getting closer to the mountains. Mountains meant more trees. Trees meant life and vegetation. All things he was familiar with and held dear now that he'd spent far too many days in the frozen tundra. 

Leaving that tree behind, Kerosene slunk further into these woods. He found another tree and leaned against it, sinking into the bark until he sat against it. His back to the trunk, he pressed his eyes closed and listened to the woods around him. A rustle in the leaves above him spoke of life. A broken twig. The cry of crow. He'd missed this. Now that he had it back, he was content to revel in it for as long as it took to feel back at home.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 06, 2015

This time, Arion did not venture so far, instead stayed in Snowforest Taiga. Adventuring was in his blood, for some reason, he loved seeing new things, sights, territories, perhaps it was because he liked collecting data. There was one kind of territory he loathed though, and it was that kind of land that he came faced to face today. With the clouds covering the sky, the trees looked even more unwelcoming than it would've if it was sunny.

It was a forest.

But there might be something in this forest, so cautiously, the warrior ventured in. Treading lightly on the ground, he moved like a shadow between the tree trunks. Arion felt like he could not breathe, the thick canopies covering the sky from his view and to the greek, it felt suffocating, like something was choking him. But bravely, the Redtail wolf trotted further into the forest until a breeze blew a scent towards him. A stranger.

Arion's honey gaze alighted on a russet stranger sitting against a tree trunk, eyes closed. The chocolate wolf could not help but scoff lightly, "What the hell are you doing?"


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 06, 2015

His mind was in a place of utter zen. it was nice to have these woods back. Woods of any kind actually. He wasn't partial to what kind or how wide and vast a forest he encountered so long as the sun was banished from perpetually beating down on his back. This canopy offered a relief from that, providing the shade and shelter and solitude so many creatures of this world desired.

He was content to sit and clear his mind, save for the heavy footfalls that crept up on Him. Kero listened, turning his ears in the direction of the wolf. Save for that, he was utterly still and completely in the zone. Then the wolf spoke. Male. Likely of average build. A touch disinterested and un-entertained by happening upon someone making the most of their day.

"Shhh," Kero hushed him, pursing his lips to emphasize the sound. "You'll kill the mood." No doubt, this stranger would think him crazy. Something he could play to his advantage if he lay the cards down right. "I'm about to have sex with this tree. Three's a crowd." He turned then, glancing over his shoulder to rub his head against the bark. "Don't worry dear. I won't let him bone you."


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 06, 2015

Arion's honey golden gaze glanced boredly at the russet form of the male stranger, he remained completely still except for the way his ears swivelled towards the greek, obviously listening to his pawsteps when he arrived. The stranger told him to shut up, technically he shh'ed him but to the Redtail wolf it was the same thing. The loner said he, Arion would kill the move and that he was about to have sex with the tree and that three was a crowd.

Then he spoke to the tree, saying he would not let him bone the tree. The stallion rolled his eyes and stalked forward, only stopping until he was a meter away from the maniac. "Do you need to go to the asylum?" the words were spoken in an amused, rather bored tone. Seriously, what was this maniac doing?

Perhaps, if he could catch the man unguarded, he could beat him up and get to fight, to spar, to get his mind off things.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 06, 2015

Frivolous words fell from his mouth. He spoke nonsense. He knew it. He'd picked those words on purpose and was intentionally being an ass about it. Better the underestimated crazy wolf of a loner who's insanity warranted a loner's life, than an inquiry about "why don't you have a pack?" or "what are you looking for in a pack?" or even worse "our pack values this bullshit I'll contradict in a later statement." He'd had enough run-ins with that sort of thing that when someone asked him a stupid question, he was going to give them a totally serious, deadpan, stupid answer. Sitting under a tree. What the hell else did he think it was doing?

He didn't know what an asylum was. That human word didn't translate into wolf language well at all as there were no institutionalized facilities or way to control quantities of patients long term. What he heard was gibberish, but guessing on the body language this one projected, he was guessing it was a derogatory something or other based on Kero's previously wild statements. 

"Oh don't worry," he said, rising to his feet to circle the tree. "We're already committed." The wolf had moved uncomfortably close. Kero placed the towering trunk between them, poking his nose around the side of it to keep an eye on this male. "Run along then. We're about to do a few things your eyes won't want to see." 


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 07, 2015

The stranger continued to act strange, rising onto his paws and moving to circle the tree before hiding behind the tree trunk, only poking his nose around the side to probably keep an eye on him. Was this wolf afraid? Or was he really crazy? Did he actually want to have sex with the goddamn tree? Arion did not think he would like it, there wasn't really any hole he could stick his dick in. Probably either acting, or the golden stranger was actually mad.

Nevermind. Arion had the perfect idea that would benefit both of them greatly, in his mind at least. He would offer the stranger a deal, a fair one and if he accepted, all would go well, if he did not, well, all the chocolate warrior could say was things would get ugly. The tree the man wanted to fuck would be stained in his blood, but if he accepted, hopefully no blood will be spilt.

"How about a deal?" A mischievous smirk spread across the greek's maw. "If you fight me, I'll leave peacefully after the spar is over. A friendly one of course, so you won't be half dead while you fuck the tree. If you don't accept the deal, I'll still fight you anyways, but it will be a real one with blood and gore and all that shit."


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 07, 2015

Kero leaned against the tree, putting his weight against it as he turned his head affectionately against the bark. He gently rubbed his head against its side, caressing it gently as he loosely held his attention on the other wolf. Whatever the dark male was thinking? It was perhaps best if he moved along and left a lone wolf to his random lovers.

Then he spoke, dropping an offer on the metaphorical table. Agree to fight or be pummeled to near death. Hmm. That was a hard one. "I shall think on it," he said out loud, pressing his muzzle to the tree and whispering things within the bark. He'd speak softly and then pause as if to listen before continuing. After a few minutes of debate, Kero turned his attention back to the male.

"Friendly spar it is," he said, taking one stride away from the tree. "If you win, you can fuck the tree. If I win, I keep her and you leave us to our victory fuck." Golden eyes turned towards the male as Kero's stance shifted subtly.

"You want this. You get first move."


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 09, 2015

A smirk adorned the chocolate nobleman's features when the russet man decided that he would choose to think on it, the fellow wolf had his wits with him, Arion would give him that. He stood by patiently and watched as the seemingly crazy wolf pressed his muzzle to the tree and whispered things to the bark, and seemed to have a conversation with the tree. He was a good actor if this was all an act, a brilliant one in fact, even his best actor of a brother could not pull off such an act.

Finally, the golden wolf decided to choose the wiser option of having a friendly spar. Arion smiled his trademark mischievous grin and took a step backwards, readying himself for the fight to come. If he won, he would leave, fucking a tree was really not what he did on his free time.

Flattening his ears firmly against his skull and tucking his snout downwards to protect his throat, the greek turned his honey gaze onto his opponent, ready to make the first move. Usually the stallion waited for the other wolf to move first, but just for today, he'll make an exception. A few more seconds passed between them before he lunged forward, feinting a strike to the man's left forelimb before swiftly jerking his head upwards to bite into his shoulder, not enough to break skin of course.

It was a friendly spar after all, and Arion was a man of his word, even if the wolf he promised was a crazy tree fucking maniac.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 11, 2015

No more words were exchanged. Kero watched the wolf prepare himself, sinking into that defensive stance that was all too familiar between wolves. Tuck your chin to protect the throat. Tuck your ears. Widen your stance. Kero, was a bit lazier with his own movements. He merely shifted upon his paws, spreading his weight to distribute more evenly between the four of them as he lowered his head. No tucking. No diverting the eyes to guard the throat, just lowering and watching. He wasn't going to impair his vision with the wolf still at some distance.

Without warning, they were ready. The dark wolf charged and Kero braced himself, guestimating roughly how much momentum this wolf would throw. He was fast and nimble, but not quite as thick as other wolves he'd encountered. Lighter. This male likely had endurance on his side over power. Fast. Quick. No doubt he would know how to use that to his advantage. 

The dark wolf pressed forward, feinting for his left side. Kero shifted his hind paws, turning his body to run perpendicular to the wolf as he lifted a paw and batted at the male's upward stealing nose. No teeth, not yet, but the male was already exhibiting his speed and trickery. He was watching for it, ready for it, slowly learning this one's patterns and techniques. A snarl tore from Kero's lips, warning him off of it before he charged, lowering the flat of his head to ram the wolf's shoulder


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 11, 2015

Arion's father was a good teacher to his children, especially in the arts of fighting, of war. Their family had been blessed by the gods, as his father told him, with the sheer fury and bravery of Ares, the wisdom of Athena, the charisma of Zeus, the secretive nature of Hades, the skills with water from Poseidon, the balance of power from Nemesis and much more. The greek believed in his gods but he doubted the fact that their family was blessed by so many gods. He did not tell that to his father, of course, not wanting to disappoint him, but the older he got, the more he began to believe.

Arion's build had been blessed by the gods, said Janus, his father. Large enough to look the part of the fighter, but agile and nimble, yet with enough training, had quite a good amount of endurance. He was a warrior. The golden wolf shifting his hind paws, moving slightly away from him and batted at his nose. The stallion lunged forward, aiming for the man's scruff, hoping to bring his face down into the dirt while allowing the blow to connect to his nose. There wasn't time to defend himself against that one, in a fight, one had to make sacrifices.

The male charged forward, but Arion nimbly sidestepped, having watched many of his siblings exhibit the same move. Instantly, the chocolate male pressed forward, aiming to dart behind his opponent to unbalance him by nipping gently at his hind legs.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 11, 2015

Paw hit, batting away the other's nose. Kero'd avoided that one, thankfully, but where one move was made a counter was always quick to follow. There was no time for thinking. Only moving and reacting. He could only hope his time spent in the wilds had not worn on his technique, but he supposed this spar was as good as any. And friendly. Phew. Thank goodness he'd kept it that way. He was too far from anywhere useful for him to risk any sort of injury as a result of extra aggression.

He'd charged. Momentum pushed him forward, allowing the darker wolf to sneak in from behind. He nipped at his heels and Kero jerked, kicking at the wolf's face with the opposite heel as he spun back around to face him. Teeth snapped at the male's nose, scruff or wherever the male happened to be. 


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 12, 2015

The russet wolf charged forward and Arion slipped behind him, his teeth catching the other wolf's hind legs but he was careful not to break skin. The Greek was a man of his word and he did not want to get any injuries anytime soon. Not when Redtail Rise needed every member to defend it, feed it and patrol the borders. He wasn't going to let Saena down, not when she just accepted him into the pack. She gave him a home, a home that might just be permanent, and Arion simply could not repay her but getting injured.

Arion jerked back, the opponent's heel briefly connecting with his face, it did not hurt as he pulled back just in time. It seems his reflexes were a bit rusty from the loner life, but with some spars and some training, he was sure he would be fine. The russet wolf attacked his nose once more but Arion ducked and charged forwards, teeth aiming for the other wolf's shoulder as well as hoping to unbalance the other male with his weight.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 13, 2015

Are you good if we go one more round and I roll the winner on my next turn? If so, would you like evens or odds?

Those teeth, even while the wolf was true to the friendly spar and therefore soft of bite, had a big of a sting to them. That was a sensitive area, that heel, and whatever lingering effects of that nip caused him to lose ground when he turned back to bite at the other wolf. A miss. Damn. He was better than this. He knew it, but clearly it was time to switch tactics or nothing would ever come of this.

The dark wolf charged, teeth aiming for his shoulder. Kero solidified his stance and made himself a wall of flesh and fur. He shoved his shoulder into the wolf's mouth and leaned into it, forcing those jaws to either widen and let go or risk gagging as a reflex. He readied himself for either scenario and prepared to snap at the wolf should he release.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 14, 2015

Sounds good to me. I'll take odds

Arion watched as the russet wolf straightened himself and became a solid wall of flesh, blood and fur, the chocolate Greek kept charging at him and when he neared, his opponent shoved his shoulder into his jaws, forcing them to widen. He jumped back just for the other wolf to snap at him, that blow connected and though it did not pierce through skin, it stung.

Determined, Arion charged once more, pretending as if he wanted to unbalance the other male with his weight but hoping to attack the golden wolf's shoulder with his fangs when he got close enough.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 14, 2015

Dice Roll Here! Evens! Kero wins. Good spar!

The block worked. Immediately the dark wolf jumped back and rushed back in, but Kero was already there. He dipped his head low, bringing his teeth up and under those snapping fangs to reach at the wolf's throat. And just like that, it was over. Kero's jaws gave a little squeeze, just enough to let the other know he'd stolen the advantage and then then pressure was gone. He released the wolf and stepped back, circling back around to lock his gaze on the northern wolf. 

For a friendly spar, they'd met their end. No damage was done aside from the little nips and nudges that would heal within the hour. But it had been good. He could feel the exertion within his bones and knew that whatever happened next, he'd sleep well tonight. 

Nevertheless, Kero lifted a wolven brow of question towards the other wolf. Why was he still here? His words, however were a touch different than his thoughts. "Good spar," he affirmed before spoiling whatever victory he'd earned. "Can I fuck my tree in peace now?"


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Arion - May 15, 2015

last post from me. thanks for the thread :)

Arion charged at the russet male but his opponent was ready, dipping his golden crown and suddenly he felt the other wolf's teeth at his throat, squeezing ever so slightly before letting go. The Greek straightened himself and shook his ruffled chocolate coat, he could feel the aches in his muscles and the tiredness seeping through his body. No real damage had been done to either of them, no blood or cuts, they had both been true to their word.

"Good spar," Arion repeated with a crooked smile and a nod of brief respect to his sparring partner before rolling his fiery eyes. "Yes, I'll leave you to fuck your precious tree in peace," the warrior said in a friendly mocking tone before turning around to leave the suffocating canopies behind, it was time to go back home.


RE: Dude…Don't Be a Dick - Iqniq - May 15, 2015

Woot! Woot! I'll get this archived. <3

The dark wolf echoed his words. It had been a good spar. Good enough to remind him just how rusty he truly was. Ugh. Too much time on his own. Too much time chasing rabbits and smaller things. Not enough time honing his skills. He mentally sighed. He had all the time in the world. Now was the time when he should have been bettering himself. Perhaps these spars would help.

A goofy grin settled on his face, his tongue lolling as the wolf rolled his eyes at him. Kero didn't give a damn what he thought. Kero had started this charade and he would end it. Preferably in a way that wouldn't rub wood against wood, but eh. He'd maintain appearances. Kero rose and circled back to the tree. He rubbed his body against it much like a chat and whispered sweet nothings all the while. Mmm. Nice tree.

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