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+--- Thread: Redhawk Caldera Out on the verge of the rest of our lives (/showthread.php?tid=9599)
Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 05, 2015
Ever since his sleepwalking habit had been discovered, Peregrine and his family had taken steps to prevent him from going off wandering. For several nights in a row, this system worked as intended. But on this night, he somehow managed to rise and glide away from the rendezvous site without anyone else waking nor noticing. He walked his usual path down toward Lake Rodney.
But something happened tonight that hadn't happened on previous nocturnal jaunts: he lost his footing, stumbled and fell. He landed so hard that it jarred him awake. He lay there, blinking up at the night sky, for several beats. Slowly, he picked himself up and shook out his pelt. Peregrine looked around, slowly realizing what must have happened. How he had slipped past his family tonight, he didn't know.
He turned to climb back toward the clearing, only to realize he felt wide awake. Instead, he continued downhill and took up a slow midnight patrol. When it began to rain lightly, he pressed on, enjoying the sensation as the temperature dropped suddenly and the cool droplets began to splatter against his onyx coat. He finished a full circuit, only growing tired near the end.
Now ready for sleep (and dry warmth!), he began to shuffle home. En route, though, he caught @Pantaleimon's scent. It wasn't fresh, necessarily, but it was enough to cause the newly crowned Alpha male to pause. He inhaled deeply, sharp jade eyes scouring the night for any sign of Pan's lithe, pale form.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 05, 2015
Pantaleimon sat outside in the middle of the night, watching Mother Moon as she watched over Pan and everyone around her. There was a feeling of serenity when Pantaleimon was with Mother Moon, as though everything in her life was as it should be, as though everything was clear to her, even though it was far from clear in reality. Pan stared out at the moon and felt at peace. It was as though that embarrassing thing with Perry hadn't ever happened at all as she sat here; or at least as though it was not as significant as it really was.
With a nostalgic urge to see the oceanside -- and she could visit Reek, while at it -- Pantaleimon frowned thoughtfully as she looked to the sky. She remained silent until she heard the sudden shuffling of paws.
Alerted by the sound, Pantaleimon turned around to see who was near. It sounded like a wolf. It sounded like...
Sounded like paper bag over head time.
Startled, Pantaleimon stood and stared at Peregrine, horror written in her expression. There were probably many things she should say, starting with 'I'm sorry' or 'wow, that last time we met was awkward, huh!', but no words came out. Pan wanted to run away, but she was immobilised, staring helpless as Peregrine headed in her direction.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 05, 2015
He soon located Pan's familiar form, his white fur lustrous in the moonlight. Peregrine paused, licking his lips and admiring the view for a moment. Pan looked so serene, sitting there by himself. The Alpha almost decided against approaching him. But he badly wanted to put his friend's worries to rest. Sure, the timing was odd... but there was no time like the present, right?
"Pan," he called out softly, causing the other wolf to face him. Peregrine felt a pang when Pan looked at him, horror-struck and frozen. "Please don't run away. I want to talk to you," the Alpha said, swiftly trotting to join the Delta. He expected Pan to dart off at any moment but, fortunately, he remained rooted to the spot.
Getting right to the point, Peregrine reached out and gently touched his muzzle to Pan's. "It's okay." He paused, exhaling. He didn't want to jump to conclusions or get ahead of himself (or Pan) but with his confidence restored, Peregrine said boldly but gently, "I like you too, Pan."
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 05, 2015
Pantaleimon swallowed dryly when Peregrine said her name and asked her not to run away. She remained in place, although she wanted nothing more than to run far, far away. The fact that Peregrine had been restored as Alpha did not do anything to wane Pan's worries; if anything, it made them even stronger.
It's okay. But it wasn't. How could she ever get over this embarrassment? This wasn't just something you laughed off and forgot about. This wasn't something you could get over, like when you did something wrong and someone was mad at you, and then time would heal the wound.
This was sexual attraction, and Pantaleimon was not sure that was fixable nor excusable, considering the fact that Peregrine had a mate and family.
I like you too.
Pan opened her mouth, her lip quivering while she tried to think of something good to say or do. Instead of finding something clever to say or do, Pantaleimon remained in place, her face painted by emotion, her lip quivering. But you have a mate and pups! she thought to herself, but she didn't dare speak the words out loud. Perhaps because that would make her realise that she should stay far, far away from the very muchly mated Perry. And she didn't want to stay far away from him at all.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 05, 2015
Pan didn't seem to have a response to that, though at least he wasn't running away. Peregrine tried to read the expression in those sweet, soulful eyes. He saw fear, uncertainty, maybe even pain. He swallowed. He hoped he wasn't inadvertently hurting Pan somehow. That definitely wasn't his intention.
"I know you don't have a lot of experience," the Alpha continued, breaking the dark, silent stillness, "and you might be confused and stuff." He was guessing, really. He paused, eyes searching, wondering if he was barking up the right tree. "I just don't want you to feel ashamed of yourself. If anything... your response... it was flattering." He smiled faintly, hoping he wasn't putting his foot in his mouth.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 07, 2015
Pantaleimon numbly listened as Peregrine spoke to her. Well, one thing was was for sure was that Pantaleimon was 'confused and stuff'. Peregrine went on to say that she needn't be embarrassed and that her physical response had been flattering. Besides the fact that Pan, had she felt like a dude, had still been horribly embarrassed, she could not begin to explain to Peregrine why the response had been less-than-flattering to herself. She didn't even want that dangly weird bit of her body to be there, let alone respond to her attraction to Peregrine.
"I'm, uhm, s-sorry," Pan mumbled, even though Peregrine had pretty much just said that he didn't need to feel sorry or be embarrassed. "I... I d-don't really know what to do." Pantaleimon smiled a forced and uncomfortable smile; she had no idea where to go from here. She had no idea if she was supposed to do something, if she was supposed to accept her feelings for Peregrine and act upon them, or if she should push them far away and do nothing with them, so they could all move along like nothing had happened.
But he'd said he liked her, too, right? Did that mean Pan was supposed to do something with the way she felt?
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 07, 2015
Peregrine did not respond right away, though after a moment, he said, "You don't have to do anything." He smiled softly, hoping that maybe that might remove some of the pressure Pan felt right now. "But," he continued in the next breath, "what do you want to do? If you could do whatever you wanted, what would it be?" he wondered in a somewhat rhetorical tone, indicating that Pan didn't necessarily have to answer now, or out loud.
The Alpha male then shifted slightly to gaze gently into his companion's face, trying his best to capture Pan's eyes. "If you could do anything at all with me, or to me, what would you do?" he couldn't help but wonder out loud, his voice low and his eyes burning with jade fire.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 07, 2015
Even though Peregrine told him he did not have to do anything, Pantaleimon still felt like she did, and she had no idea where to start. What he said next clarified things a little, when he asked her what she wanted to do. Pan looked at her feet while she tried to think what she actually wanted. It didn't help that Perry was Alpha again now, proud and tall, no longer dangling at the bottom of the ranks, and far out of Pantaleimon's league, in her opinion, despite the low opinion her upbringing held of males. Pan's opinion of Perry was far from low.
When Peregrine searched for her eyes, Pantaleimon briefly allowed their eyes to connect before she submissively averted her eyes again. When he asked her again what she would do -- except this time, with or to him -- Pantaleimon pursed her lips briefly in thought before she shared: "Cuddle." It was still kind of scary, considering what had happened last time, but it wasn't like she wanted, well, sex or anything, right now. She particularly didn't want to do anything to Perry, or anyone for that matter, in that department, even though she felt physically attracted to him.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 07, 2015
Right after the words left his mouth, Peregrine realized he was being way too forward. The last thing he wanted to do was put Pan on the spot. He had gotten ahead of them both. He parted his lips to rescind the question and assure Pan that he didn't require an answer, now or ever, if Pan wasn't ready to give one. But then the male whispered a single word in reply: "Cuddle."
Peregrine blinked, then a light laugh escaped him. He smiled companionably at his pack mate, then moved closer to him, seating himself on Pan's left side. The swarthy wolf leaned his shoulder against the other male's and snuffled lightly in his ear. Although he could be quite the greedy, aggressive lover, Peregrine also enjoyed the less sexual aspects of intimacy, cuddling included. The smile never left his lips as he continued to press against Pan, lightly nuzzling him all the while.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 07, 2015
Pantaleimon smiled softly when Peregrine drew near and sat down on Pantaleimon's left side. She was feeling less tense now and didn't expect a repeat of the incident the other day, so she welcomed Peregrine's company. Pan closed her eyes while she felt Peregrine cuddle against her and nuzzle her. When she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend like they were a normal couple, like she was just a girl, and he was just a boy, and they were just starting to fall in love, young and foolish as they were...
"Does Fox... know?" Pantaleimon could not help but wonder in a soft whisper while she enjoyed Peregrine's company. She was reminded that her dream would unlikely ever be, that they weren't just a boy and a girl, and that perhaps her love for Peregrine was wildly inappropriate. But for the first time in her life, Pantaleimon did not care if she was being inappropriate, did not stammer any apologies, did not break off whatever she was doing, didn't fix it; for the first time, she just did what she wanted.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 07, 2015
Pan's question did not give Peregrine any sort of pause. He continued to snuggle against his companion, drawing as much pleasure and warmth as he hoped he was providing. He loved being with Fox; she was so sexy and petite. Cuddling with another dude was an entirely different experience altogether. Although soft in spirit, Pan was a lot more solid than Peregrine's female counterpart. He enjoyed the juxtaposition.
"Fox not only knows, she approves," he murmured, finally pausing but then immediately placing a lick on the side of Pan's nose. "We have an open marriage. I'm allowed to take male lovers and she's more than welcome to take as many female lovers as she likes." He gave Pan a conspiratorial wink, assuming that, like him, the idea of lesbianism excited the pale Delta. "And we're not secretive about it. I told her all about you and how I think you're very adorable." He brushed his nose over Pan's brow. "And... sexy."
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 08, 2015
i saw that movie you mentioned yesterday, boy meets girl :-) i liked it!
How could Fox approve? Pantaleimon welcomed Peregrine's lick with a low rumble in her throat, then gently rubbed his face with her nose. It felt so good to be so close to Peregrine, and where she had felt only tense and over-excited before, Pantaleimon was finally beginning to feel safe and comfortable in his presence. She closed her eyes and leaned into him, nuzzling his face, when he continued about his talk with Fox and how their mateship worked.
Allowed to take male lovers. Pantaleimon was beginning to feel like a giant fraud already, for even though she knew that she was male, it wasn't how she felt. She didn't like Perry as a 'fling on the side', as a 'male lover, beside taking on a female mate some day'. What she wanted with Peregrine was hardly something that would be possible, all practicalities aside.
Pantaleimon barely noticed the wink that Peregrine shot her way while she considered this, vaguely registering that Perry mentioned Fox was allowed to take on as many female lovers as she wanted. Pan considered telling Peregrine everything and coming clean, but then he continued to talk. Then he said that she was adorable... and sexy... and even though she really, really wanted to tell Perry, she just couldn't, because she wanted to hold onto this feeling a little longer. "I think you're adorable and sexy too," Pantaleimon mumbled, just loud enough for Peregrine to hear, as if she was telling him a secret meant only for him and not for the rest of the world to hear.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 08, 2015
I'm glad you enjoyed it! I really liked it. I kept rewinding the nighttime river scene because it was so cute. :')
It didn't occur to Peregrine that even if he and Fox were down with extramarital affairs, it didn't necessarily mean that folks like Pan were okay with being relegated to side dish status. He didn't even think about how Pan might enjoy a more traditional, monogamous and exclusive arrangement. That was his way: he was a selfish lover, taking what he wanted and not always considering what the other party needed until later. He didn't mean to be that way, yet it was becoming more and and more apparent that it was his fatal flaw when it came to secondary romantic relationships.
He thought of none of that now; his focus remained entirely on the present moment. He snorted with quiet and affectionate amusement when Pan returned his compliment. He nibbled the other male's nose. He thought briefly of all the things he would like to do with (and to) the Delta, yet Peregrine knew none of that would happen tonight. It might not even happen soon. Greedy as he could be, he actually relished in the thought of sort of grooming Pan as his lover.
"Would you like to sleep with me tonight?" the Alpha asked. Realizing how that sounded, his lips twitched and he added, "Actually sleep, I mean." He glanced at the ground. The rain had ended a while ago but the grass was still wet. "We could find somewhere warm and dry. Or we could even go back to the rendezvous site, if you like."
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 12, 2015
yeah, that was pretty sweet! :D
Pantaleimon closed her eyes while Perry nibbled on her nose, a content smile on her face. For a moment, she could pretend the future looked a lot brighter than it did. Well, maybe it would not be all that bad. Being close to Perry as his 'male lover' was more than she had if she decided to leave Redhawk Caldera and Perry behind to look for true love. Pan knew deep in her heart that she would never find true love the way she wanted it. Who'd want to be with an abomination like her? Even Perry wanted to be with he-Pan, and only on the side; not for life, not for mateship.
Those thoughts drifted from Pan's mind when Perry suggested sleeping together. Before Pantaleimon had the chance to be shocked by the words, he corrected himself, saying he meant actual sleeping. Pan thought of finding somewhere warm and dry and snuggling with Peregrine, and she nodded with a fond smile on her face. Pantaleimon decided not to worry about what she wanted, not to worry about the future, and just stick with what she had right now.
"I would love that," she mumbled, not really answering his last question, for Pan was still not that used to making her own decisions, but hoping that they would find somewhere where they could snuggle with just the two of them. Pan loved the pups and respected Fox, but right now, she wanted more than anything to be with Perry and pretend that it was just the two of them in the world.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 13, 2015
Pan seemed ready and willing to follow him anywhere tonight, which made Peregrine's insides feel warm and fuzzy. He pondered a moment, then decided aloud, "Let's find someplace just for you and me. I don't mind telling the kids about you eventually, especially if this goes where I hope it goes..." He paused, grinning a little and trying to catch the other's eye. "But let's wait a little bit for that. I know of the perfect place too."
He motioned for Pan to follow him and began cantering up toward the caldera's rim. When they hit the ridge line, he paused and admired the views on either side a moment before dipping down into the interior. Peregrine's broad paws carried him to a pebbly stretch of beach that gave way to softer sand. They could fall asleep to the sound of the moonlit water lapping nearby.
"I'm just going to go tell Fox where I am, then I'll be back," Peregrine breathed into Pan's ear, giving it a nip before turning and disappearing back up and over the rise. He knew this wouldn't bother Fox one bit. They wouldn't be far and she seemed to be a pretty big fan of Pan herself.
Ten minutes later, Peregrine reappeared and slowed to a halt at Pan's shoulder. "Come here," he invited in a slightly breathless voice, backpedaling to take a seat on the silky sands. He slowly lowered himself sideways, his left flank flush with the soft ground and his toes pointing in the direction of the water. The black Alpha curled his body, then patted the little circle his legs created, meaning for Pan to lay down there.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 13, 2015
Pantaleimon smiled when Perry mentioned finding a place for the two of them. It'd be sort of like their home, their secret hideout, a place for just the two of them. Pan was fine with the pups remaining ignorant for now, because she was afraid she might accidentally tell them exactly how fond she was of Perry some day. Being honest was so much easier in front of children, and as Pantaleimon was pretty honest to start with, it wasn't hard to accidentally let go of a slip of the tongue. When Peregrine searched for eye contact, Pan allowed their eyes to meet briefly before averting her gaze.
When Peregrine started to move, Pantaleimon followed suit. Peregrine brought them to the rim of the caldera, where they found a pebbly beach. When the pebbles gave way to softer sand Peregrine stopped and said he'd be right back. A shiver ran down Pan's spine when Peregrine nipped her ear, and she had to suppress getting too excited again. Pantaleimon watched as Peregrine disappeared. She looked about the area, admiring the lakeside view -- she loved the water, after all, and even though she missed the salty ocean scent to go with the view, it was as good as a view was going to get in Redhawk Caldera -- while she considered if she should lay down, sit down, or just stand around waiting. Pantaleimon sat down and watched the water for a minute or five before she got up again and paced around a bit, as though testing for the best place to lay down. She awkwardly shifted from standing to sitting to laying down until Peregrine returned, not sure what would be best. When she saw Peregrine return, she'd just lain down, but the sight of him coming towards her made Pan rise with a quick jump. Pantaleimon tried to look as casual as possible, as if she hadn't been fretting over what to do and how to act and look when Peregrine returned at all, when he returned.
"Hey you," she said softly, and considered saying something corny like 'fancy meeting you in a place like this' or throwing out a joke. In the end though, Pan didn't, knowing it'd sound weird and forced; she'd only say it because Perry was always so witty and she'd try to be something she just wasn't.
Pantaleimon watched as Peregrine laid down after inviting her to join him. Pantaleimon walked a tiny circle out of habit, even though she already knew exactly where to lay down, and then placed herself by Peregrine's side. Since she was only a little bit smaller than Peregrine, Pan could not fold her entire self against him as much as she wished. Instead, she let most of her body rest against his, her hind legs sticking out a bit, and she rested her left front leg over his front legs. "This is nice," she mumbled, even though she was still trying to find the exact right position and felt a little tense and awkward since all of this was a first for Pantaleimon.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Peregrine Redhawk - June 13, 2015
My last post, I think. We'll have to have another soon. :)
It took a bit of time and shifting for Pan to get comfortable. Peregrine adjusted himself to accommodate his companion. Soon, they both fell still and their rustling quieted. The night around them was still and silent, save for the lapping water nearby. Peregrine stared over Pan's shoulder at the dark lake, its slightly ruffled surface reflecting a mirror image of the moon above. In the pale moonlight, Pan's white fur continued to glow, almost ethereally.
"You comfortable?" the Alpha whispered. "I'm going to lay my head back and close my eyes. Snuggle as close as you like." He did as he said he would, leaning back and letting his cheek rest against the soft sand. He found there was too much space between his stomach and Pan's back and scooted forward slightly so they were flush. He could feel his own pulse against the snowy male's spine.
He thought he might lie awake for a while, enthralled with the company of his would-be lover, but Peregrine was so content that he began to snore almost right away. In his sleep, he moved a foreleg to sling over Pan's shoulder, holding the other male tight even as he drifted.
RE: Out on the verge of the rest of our lives - Pantaleimon - June 15, 2015
Pantaleimon snuggled against Peregrine and enjoyed the touch of his warm fur. It made her feel so... safe. Pan closed her eyes and smiled while she laid her head against Perry's chest. She bobbed her head in a light nod when Perry asked if she was comfortable. Peregrine then laid back, leaving a bit of space between them in the process.
The space between them was quickly filled, and Pan could not help but smile as she lay stomach-to-back with Peregrine. She moved her nose up to gently touch the tip of his, and rubbed the top of her head against his chin and chest before settling for sleep.
With Perry's paws around her, Pantaleimon drifted off to sleep, dreaming better that night than she had in a long time.