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+--- Thread: Redhawk Caldera you've got to lose to know how to win. (/showthread.php?tid=9716)
you've got to lose to know how to win. - Finley - June 12, 2015
private for just fammy for now :)
From the moment Finley's eyes snapped open in the hours before dawn broken upon the Wilds, she knew they were coming. But she also knew quite suddenly with dread in her heart that it was too soon. For weeks since realizing she was still pregnant, she had gone over and over again in her mind trying to figure out when she could expect them, but never could she really remember the exact number of days, of suns or moons or however she tried to figure it out. Now with them on the verge of entering the world, she knew without a doubt - too soon.
She had awoken @Elwood with a nervous whine that turned quickly into a snarl as instinct took the wheel. She drove him away and out of their shared den without a word that hinted at her fear for this moment. She had no time to be worried or afraid - they were coming and she needed to do all that she could to make sure they made it safely.
That being said, giving birth was just.. it was just awful. Fin staggered about the den, her breathing heavy and ragged as her stomach pinched and stabbed at her over and over again. Laying down wasn't an option - each time she tried, another contraction had her up on her feet again, growling and crying and snarling all sorts of foul-mouthed curses at her body and at herself to "quit being such a bitch" and "do this thing".
And thus it was quite the blessing that pups were born into the world perfectly deaf, for the slurred string of profanity that fell from Finley's mouth as her first pup was born was one that not even Elwood was old enough to hear. Immediately she turned to her firstborn with a tremor in her heart as she saw how tiny she was. So tiny, and weak.. She was barely even moving her little, pink, stick-like arms as she reached for her mother. Fin stared in horror for a moment.. then two moments... then three...
It was the cruelest thing she'd ever done, but Fin swept her daughter out of the way as her contractions began again. Instinct told her that though the little girl was alive for the moment, it would not last. There was barely any life in the child, and so Finley set her hopes on the pup that was coming along next. The pain for this one was even worse than the one before, which gave Fin hope as she fought to bring it into the world. There were tears in her eyes as she finally gave birth to the second. She gasped when he finally came free and swiftly she dropped onto her side and manuevered herself so that she could look at her second born - a boy, her little @Elwood Jr. She bit down hard on her lip as she reached for him, nosing his little sides as he wriggled. He was small, there was no denying that.. but there was strength in his movements and in his tiny voice.
Fin's tears began to fall freely as she cleaned him up and pulled him in close to her stomach. She didn't need to even look at the other to know that whatever feeble life it had been born with was now gone. It didn't matter to her anymore. She had her baby Eljay and he was going to grow up strong and safe and so freakin' loved he might end up exploding in a cloud of rainbows and heart-shaped sparkles at any moment. Fin laid her head down upon the ground and heaved an exhausted, but so incredibly happy, sigh.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Elwood - June 12, 2015
I was literally about to walk out the door to run errands when you posted -- CHANGE OF PLANS! <3
It was time.
Elwood had been awoken abruptly by Finley and promptly shooed out of the den. He was almost too bewildered to realize what was happening at first, but as he slowly gathered his senses, he knew. The moment they had been waiting for, seemingly forever and yet simultaneously only a short time -- it was here. Their children -- their miracle babies -- were on their way.
For the first few minutes, Elwood paced anxiously outside the den, his ears twisting to the tune of Finley's profanity. It would have been funny had the circumstances not been different -- had her pregnancy not been high-risk. He was worried. Could her body handle the stress of giving birth? Had they done enough to prepare her, to keep her healthy? He didn't know, and it was with a frustrated growl that he finally seated himself just outside the burrow.
He wrapped his tail tightly around his paws and leaned close, listening. Aside from the commotion inside their home, the only other sound he was aware of was the thundering of his heartbeat. He couldn't tell what was happening and it drove him crazy, but instinct demanded he remain outside the den.
When finally Finley's cursing ceased, he held his breath. He waited for thirty long seconds, and then he shifted, peeking inside. She hadn't invited him back in yet, but his gaze fell on the most beautiful sight -- his mate, looking tired and disheveled yet overjoyed, and at her side the tiniest, most perfect little bundle of grey fur. Elwood's heart melted immediately. He whined softly, requesting permission to join his family and meet his child for the first time.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Eljay - June 12, 2015
Everything about the world felt hard and painful as he came into it. For a moment the pup just lay there, feeling as though it was not yet his time. For a moment it was ready to give up, to heave a final sigh, to say good bye to the world.
A mother’s touch changed everything. The pup started to wriggle, started to move, started to inhale little breaths into its lungs as it started to gradually accept that it was here, and that it would stay here. He was quiet, weak, as his mother licked him, allowing the world to wash over him. He breathed tiny breaths while he was pulled to his mother’s stomach, where he lay for a moment, silent, not moving; as though he had last-minute decided to give up after all.
After a couple of moments the pup let out a squeak – his first squeak, for he’d been silent so far – as though he had suddenly decided to join the party called life after all. It took him a while before he found the right spot. When he did, the pup at last latched onto his mother’s teat, and with that motion, Elwood Junior finally decided that he would be a part of this world after all.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Finley - June 12, 2015
Fin watched her son closely in the first few minutes after his birth. He seemed unable to find her teat, or was it just uninterested? She had put him as close to her as she could, so nervously she waited for him to latch on. When finally he did, she allowed herself to breathe again. He was going to be alright. He was officially safe, and she was officially... really weirded out by what he was doing. But also strangely content with it. Good god this was all so weird and wonderful and weird again, but so so so so great. It was no wonder Fin's cheeks were covered in tears while her expression kept shifting from joy to awkward to scared and back again for another round like a damn lunatic.
Her ears perked when finally she noticed her mate's whining from just outside the den. A faint grin slipped across her muzzle as she chuffed lightly to him, inviting him in at last. She didn't even pick up her head but she watched his every move and expression, not wanting to miss a second of it. "I forgot that this makes you a Senior now," she teased softly, "You're an old guy."
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Elwood - June 12, 2015
As soon as the invitation was extended from Finley, Elwood entered the den. He crept inside, keeping himself low to the ground and positioning himself on his stomach near the new mother. His eyes were round as saucers as he watched their child -- their son! -- squirm near her stomach, eventually latching onto a teat and beginning to nurse. He was so small; Elwood could hardly believe that this tiny little thing would grow into a wolf someday.
"Hey, Elwood Jr.," he breathed softly; it felt strange to bestow his own name onto another creature. After a moment, his cheeks creased into a smile and he corrected himself: "Eljay." The boy would be likely be known by his nickname, which would help to reduce any confusion. He watched in awe for a few seconds as Eljay suckled, then turned his adoring gaze to Finley.
He chuckled quietly. "I am old, aren't I?" he agreed to her teasing. He then leaned towards her and lightly kissed her between the ears, lingering long enough to whisper, "You did a great job, Fin. He's amazing." As he withdrew, he caught sight of the other pup, swept to the side and already forgotten. His heart lurched and he whined, his eyes holding a question as he looked back at his wife.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Eljay - June 12, 2015
The tragedy of the first-born pup was not something that the pup thought of. The only thing that ruled the pup's mind was survival, now that he had decided to choose the path of life. It would be a shame to give up what he had instinctively decided to give a chance to mourn a life, a soul, that he had never known.
Content to eat for now, the pup suckled on the teat that had been presented to him. Now that he had found it, he would not let go until he was sated.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Finley - June 12, 2015
Fin felt as though her heart would burst from the sight of her mate meeting his son - his namesake - for the first time. It was truly incredible. They'd both waited for so long to meet him and now here he was, a bit tinier than he should have been, but still utterly and completely perfect. "Little Jay," she murmured fondly.
She closed her eyes at her mate's touch, then smiled up at him as he withdrew. Instantly she was able to trace the line of his gaze to the lifeless body of their daughter. It was so strange to her, but the pup hadn't even seemed real to her. It was as though the moment she saw it, she'd known that there was nothing really there - just some faint traces of a life that was flickering out. Fin didn't know how to explain it to him, but she saw the pain in his eyes and knew she couldn't say nothing.
"It was so weak," Fin said quietly, finally lifting her head off the ground to look intently upon her mate, "It would never have survived... Not like this little man." She reached over towards him to nuzzle gently upon Eljay's spine, trying to draw Elwood's attention away from the fact that they'd lost yet another child and back to the life they now had on their paws.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Elwood - June 14, 2015
Finley's explanation caused a slight pang in Elwood's chest, but he nodded. She was right -- that puppy had been too small, too weak. It was the way of the wild; not every being was fit to survive. But the little guy nursing at Finley's side -- he was petite, for sure, but he had the will to live. He would grow and become stronger, and his parents would be able to focus their full attention on him.
He nodded, casting one last glance at the prone form of what would have been his daughter before shifting his gaze to Elwood Jr. Immediately, he felt warmth spreading within him, and his expression softened into a smile. "He's gonna be a tough cookie," he agreed, then shifted to kiss Finley's cheek.
A thought suddenly occurred to him, and he asked, "Should I let everyone else know?" The idea of sharing their news with the rest of the pack sent a thrill down Elwood's spine, but he would only release a howl once Finley was good and ready.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Eljay - June 14, 2015
feel free to skip me for the rest of the thread, as lil' twig will just do some more squirming and being quiet :P
The conversations that went over his head went unnoticed to the puppy, who focussed solely on survival and nursing for now, eager to get in enough food before he would eventually fall to sleep. He would not fall asleep until he was well-fed, now that he had found the teat. And so the puppy continued to drink from its mother, tiny forelegs reaching out to touch her stomach.
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Finley - June 14, 2015
Elwood accepted the news with heartache but understanding. She leaned forward to kiss his chin as his eyes strayed to the cold body again, happy when he turned his attention back to their surviving child. She wagged her tail as he spoke, looking back down at Eljay's tiny greyscale form. He was such a tiny peanut, but he was strong. So incredibly strong. He survived his birth when his sister hadnt. He'd even survived the miscarriage which Fin knew was the reason She'd given birth now to only two. He was her lone survivor, her incredible miracle. Dear GOD she loved the shit out of him.
Fin reached for her son to place a few licks across his black spine, a spasm of happy shooting through her when she noticed he'd inherited the Blackthorn spine. She leaned back as a wide yawned escaped her jaws. "Yes, let them know," she requested with a sleepy smile. "I'm just gonna close my eyes for a minute. Just wake me if anyone comes, okay? I wanna see them meet him."
RE: you've got to lose to know how to win. - Elwood - June 15, 2015
I'm gonna go ahead and fade out with this post! Yay happy fambly! <3
As soon as Finley gave him the go-ahead, Elwood gathered his feet beneath him. He stood, turning to exit the den, but quickly swung his head back around. He smiled as he looked down at Finley and Elwood Jr., then leaned down to plant a soft kiss on his son's head. Only then did he step out into the early morning sunlight.
Everything was hazy as the day dawned around him, and he paused just long enough to fill his lungs with crisp air. The Beta male padded a few feet away from his home, then threw back his head and parted his lips. He howled, the sound swirling around him and soaring into the sky; it was a proud, joyful song, the tune of a new father. "Welcome to the world, Elwood Jr.," he sang.
He knew that his packmates would be happy for him, and that Peregrine and Fox would likely want to visit sooner rather than later. The thought made his tail twitch eagerly behind him as the sound faded and he retreated back into the burrow with his wife and baby.