Lost Creek Hollow of the men

pri's in proestrus stage ( non-receptive )

with having no mate, praimfaya thinks that is why she has the itch to travel despite that she doesn't feel very warming towards the idea of being approached by any sort of wayward male; in fact it seems rather risky. melding together a stranger's genetic line with her's? she was worheda; the commander of war ...and the blood of the commanders was her blood. perhaps, she considers, she should exert more control over who sired the next line of potential commanders. 

and yet, even the thought of it being a controlled, well thought out choice sounds exhausting.

as praimfaya makes her way into the nature made doorway of shrouded wood that heralds lost creek hollow; the morning sun warming her back, she further considers that perhaps having a stranger sire her pups would be easier. surely, cases like her mother and father — where the male sought after the woman and helped raise the children — were rare.

Sequoia's dismissal had left Kigipigak feeling odd. He did not have a name for the sensation he felt yet, although it reminded him of the betrayal he experienced when Stjornuati left him, or the strikingly strong emotions he had experienced when his sisters had gone back on their arrangement with him. He felt belittled. It was not something that the prideful Tartok warrior had much experience with and so the taste of it was unsettling. He took to patrolling more frequently to keep himself distanced from the woman.

That said, Kigipigak's mind did not leave the topic of marriage so easily. He went over the offer that Mahler had initially made to him, and then the conversation he held with Kukutux, the blessing he had received from both of them. He thought of his mother; what would she think of all of this? Kigipigak, youngest named of his village, kinslayer, pining over possibilities like a love-sick girl?

A flash of something silver-white draws his eye. Kigipigak almost moves on regardless. He recognizes Praimfaya immediately and weighs the pros and cons of interaction — maybe all the women of the bypass were the same, he thought. Kigipigak did not want to put himself through further emasculation. He was near enough to offer a friendly chuff but far enough away to let them both pass without issue, leaving the decision up to the woman.

everything — marriage and cubs — weighs heavily on her mind; heavier than anything else. it is best, she thinks, that she spends this time consumed by instinct and seething desires beneath her skin away from rivenwood. especially as it visibly distracts her from her duties as second graf. a rush of shame floods her; heating her from neck to cheeks as she considers that she'd just gotten the promotion and now she was off to find potential partners to sire her cubs.

it is this internal affirmation that keeps praimfaya upon her path.

at the sound of the friendly chuff, praimfaya's steps pause and she peers over her shoulder; surprise lighting her visage as her frostbound gaze falls upon kigipigak. she supposes she had not expected to see him wandering about — though the wolves of rivenwood were far from chained to the territory ( evidenced by her own wandering ). kigipigak. the commander greets. what brings you out this way? she inquires in an attempt to invite conversation.

She called to him, and even named him. The sound wasn't so fragile in her mouth and Kigipigak was pleased. He moved to intercept and heard her question, to which he had little answer. He did not want to seem odd for being so far from home, and did not think to twist the question back to her; no doubt she was scouting, as he was. Perhaps hunting for something to share among the village.

I needed time to think, he explained earnestly.

Mahler's offer to me is still hard to process. I needed to get away from Rivenwood to really digest it, which was half a truth. Kigipigak did not know what to do with himself in that place, not really. He did not want to confront the other women and be shot down again and again, and he was not sure he was ready for any other result.

When I found your scent I thought, perhaps, you might have found a trail. Which was not true either, but it was easier than asking her questions outright. If she wanted to be alone instead, she could still turn him away.

kigipigak's response to her inquiry draws surprise to praimfaya's visage; written across the soft lines of her scarred face. she gives a small cant of her head as her frostbound gaze studies him. and what conclusion did you reach? she remains unaware — that he was thinking about the conditions ( despite that they were lifted for her and sequoia ) just as she was; at least, not until he states such. ah, the worheda hums, giving a sage nod of her head. it is a heavy burden. praimfaya muses; to marry for the sole interest in reproducing ...it seemed excessive. she is by no means a romantic — she is not so sure she believes in love in that manner but then again, she's never really felt it. she has felt love in the way of loving her parents and her kru but marriage? it feels heavy to her.

still, would it be better? would it take the burden from the pack if she did marry? if someone helped her raise the cubs so that the pack did not have to help her bear the brunt of it?

no, praimfaya admits. i've been thinking, myself. she admits with a lofty shrug of her scarred shoulders. mahler has lifted the restrictions upon sequoia and myself. we will not be forced to marry to have cubs, and in a way it is both troubling and freeing. i will wander this year as i've been told to, praimfaya draws in a breath. but i do not think i like the idea of seeking out new partners every year. i like to praise myself on my ability to be practical and it makes sense to take a mate... perhaps even so my children this year might know a father even if they are not his.

though perhaps, she considers with a twitch of an ear, that was a high order. perhaps, she considers, that might be asking too much of anyone.

They had spoken before, he recalled, of their separate but similar situations. Listening to her now Kigipigak tried to empathise or at least understand her thoughts and concerns, which for the most part he agreed with.

My people... He began to say, then paused, as if what he were about to share were very deeply personal. It was personal, but Kigipigak had never been squeamish about sharing his culture before. Although he had felt separate from his people for a while now; segregated by more than great distance.

Men and women are not just joined by marriage. Those that are very close, regardless of gender even, can become aokatti—blood bonded. He paused to think, ordering his thoughts so that he can speak without confusion. I think if I were to choose marriage... I would want an aokatti first. Or someone of such strong connection that we would be willing to form such a bond. I do not think I will partake in the opportunity made by Mahler. Not now, anyway. I have not made such connections.

He stopped there, watching her.

she considers his words, offering him her rapt attention as he delves into more of his people — people that, from what he's told her thus far, do not sound quite so different from her own. praimfaya enjoys hearing of other cultures even if she does not always understand them. he speaks of a blood bond, that he considers it tantamount to marrying. as he speaks she considers whether they have anything similar in her culture and the closest she can think of is a second but even that is not the same. his description of blood bonding — aokttai — sounds stronger. after he is finished speaking, she considers her words before speaking. your ...aokttai sounds interesting, she remarks. i see the rationality behind it. in truth, it does not sound like such a bad idea.

marriage should not come about just because of a desire to have cubs. which was, she thinks, the reason why she'd been against it from the get-do and though skeptical when mahler lifted it also relieved. what is involved in the process of becoming an ...aokttai? she inquires, truly curious and hoping that she does butcher his strange word too much.

It was nice to have someone to talk to about this, to share with. Although this woman did not fully grasp what he was saying - she equated the aokatti to a marriage bond which was Kigipigak's fault; he had failed to explain adequately. Maybe it was a case of this particular bond being something profound and hard to quantify that made this difficult.

Marriage comes for many reasons, but an aokatti is.. different. He did not know how to explain it; his mother could have done so, had she been present. Kigipigak could not recall if she ever divulged who her bond was with, or if she had ever formed one. Such thoughts distracted him a moment.

These blood bonds are forged through combat, at least that is how I have understood it from teachings. They can occur between brothers and sisters who have a strong enough bond, or between companions, and it is a bond specific to those who share an intense trust. Yes, that was it - trust, that was the basis of the aokatti.

Sometimes it can take years to form such a bond. It is possible for someone to go through life without one, but I have not heard of many. It is... private, this connection. My people do not flaunt them but my village is small and secluded, so there is nobody to tell, really. He felt as if he had been talking too much; but the woman had asked questions and he wanted to give a suitable answer.

When the bond is formed the two halves cut their arms and mix their blood, forever linking one-another. They come to aid their companion whenever asked, and often fight side-by-side against their enemies. He smiles at this, as this was his favorite part of the story his mother had passed on to her children. Two strong beasts of Tartok united in battle.

praimfaya acknowledges as kigipigak explains that she has perhaps misunderstood the depth of this bond. no, she thinks as he explains further, her people have nothing like this. she wishes she had a word for it in trigedasleg, of that kind of bond. bound by blood, forged in combat. so, it is a devotion in and of itself? praimfaya concludes, leaving it hanging from her lips like a question in case she still didn't quite grasp it.

my people do not have anything like that, she admits; especially not the hedas. to be commander was to be alone but, she was done with being alone. it sounds nice, though. to know that you would always have your ...aokatti. at least, until death did them part.

a moment passes as praimfaya contemplates before asking, quietly, in the consideration that it might be too personal and he might not wish to share, do you have any candidates? perhaps showing that she might still not quite understand it in its full.

Her response confirmed what he'd thought. His people were culturally different from her own, but, she wanted to learn. The question that passed her lips surprised him though; Kigipigak had not considered that he might find himself an aokatti here in these wilds.

Being so set on finding himself and building notoriety for is name, Kigipigak had faltered in his goals when the Watch fell. Now that he was living in this new village things had changed for him somewhat. Yes, he thought of himself — but also the future, the bloodline he carried and could build in to something.

His doubts had outweighed any chance at real connection. He did not know anyone deeply enough to form that bond. His face scrunched a bit as he considered his options but it was a quick, quiet moment.

I am close with no-one. He admits.

I had thought.. With time, to build a bond in my last home. Then those that I followed left me. He drew a breath, licked his lips, and tried to ignore the weight of what Praimfaya was asking. She did not know the significance.

Now the closest person I have in my life is... Perhaps, Mahler. And even then we only have an accord due to the winter. An alliance of convenience that has gone beyond its time-limit. He was thinking aloud; having forgotten the terms of their initial bond, that Kigipigak would hunt through the winter and be gone again.

Remembering it now, Kigipigak wondered too if Mahler had offered him the spring to put down roots for some deeper reason. They weren't exactly close — it was all roundabout in his head now.

in the realm of not being close to anyone, praimfaya can understand. she cannot say that she is particularly close to anyone despite calling the wolves of rivenwood her kru — which was, essentially, family. when he tells her that those he had hoped to form a bond with had left him, the commander feels her lips tug down in a soft, terse frown. i am sorry to hear that. though she hopes it does not sound like a false platitude. she is sorry and finds it easy to sympathize though she wonders if wolves choosing to leave you is worse than death; to her it almost seems like it might be.

do you intend to stay with us, then? praimfaya inquires; ears cupping forth with curiosity that she is careful to ensure does not hinder too close to the line of prying.

when her question is answered the two converse for a short time before eventually parting ways; praimfaya driven by the new and churning instincts within her.