Lost Creek Hollow On the backseat were scratches from

Ash Star shifted and stood. She was overly tired today. And her stomach felt tight and sore. As she got to tawny and charcoal paws. She froze as saliva pooled heavily in her mouth and her stomach rolled like ship at sea.

oh gods.

She moaned and only made it to the forest with a second to spare before she lost the bile from her stomach. No food yet. She sat there dry heaving. Her small sides rolling with each gasp for air and heave that followed.

Until she was upon her knees spent. Panting to catch her breath. She knew what this meant. She needed to get some ginger. Quickly, but she was unable to move at present. So instead she stared at the sky and let her tummy settle.

His travels had been both satisfying and dismaying. He'd found no sign of Mira or any of her children, but accepted the advances of two enchanting women while on his journey. It seemed now that he might have an additional goal for his travels- though he preferred to keep his searching as a selfless adventure. The companionship was something he was willing to accept as merely a bonus. 

Nevertheless, he preened the scent of other wolves from his pelt before he returned, lest he be criticized for his adventurous behaviors. He renewed himself with the scent of cedar and snow, returning to the pack in very much the same condition he'd been in when he'd left for another scouting opportunity. 

He'd noted the lessening of snow on the mountains, particularly along the Southern edges, which were warmed by the sun. The first sign of Spring's approach made itself known to him, and he would bring this back as news that was relevant for the pack. With him he also carried the haunch of a rocky mountain sheep. The urge to kill had returned to him once he was on his way back; he'd fed on what he could, and brought back a part of the ribcage, spine, and both hind legs where the meat was ribboned with fat. 

The scent of bile caught his attention as he moved along, and when he realized that it was Ash Star, he followed his sense of smell until he found her. She looked ill, and weakened. He set the kill down and moved forward, tentatively. "Can I help?" He asked quietly.

Ash didn't care how many litters Ksura chose to sire or who he spent his time with. He'd been a means to an end. A fleeting speck of ember in darkness. But she did like him as a packamte none the less.

The scent of the fresh kill hit her like a truck. It both made saliva pool and bile churn as well as made her stomach growl. It was nauseating and wanting at the same time. And the powerful urge to attack things surfaced in her chest.

She stared at him for a momwnt and shook her head. Nothing can be done for a bit. I will have to eat small meals, take ginger. But my stomach will settle once the babes are a bit bigger.

She glanced at him. But thank you.

He nodded. "Fair." He remembered how Mira had felt, though she had been quite close to the end of her pregnancy when he had met her. While he didn't know what ginger was, or what the expression 'take ginger' meant, he assumed that she knew what she was talking about and was more willing to blindly agree with her plan than to admit that he was oblivious. "You c'n have this for later if you w-"

And then it clicked. 

'You're pregnant?" He blurted. Of course, he understood what their horseplay had had the potential to do, but he hadn't thought about it at the time, or any time thereafter. He'd sought others, and had enjoyed their company as well, with no thought of consequences. He blinked. "Uh, I mean...congrats?" He could only hope that this was something she wanted to celebrate.

He was always so agreeable. It was strange. And of course it fueled her ego. After all she was a queen or least her deluded sense of self worth made it so.
"

A small laugh. Mm yes i would guess so.

There was no way of 100% knowing yet, but she was fairly certain. Based on this level of sickness it was a good bet.

Thank you. You needn't be involved if you don't want too, but of course I will not keep them from you.

His head tilted at the sound of her laughter. He'd perhaps leapt to an assumption, thinking that she was a stern wolf- and was surprised yet again when she granted him permission to play a role in the lives of his first biological children. He felt a twinge of regret; he would miss Mira's kids, but they were lost- and they had never been his to begin with. 

Maybe it was time to start focusing on those who were actually here, even if it meant giving up his search. 

That decision would take time. But for the time being, there was no reason he couldn't do both, at least until Ash Star gave birth. 

"I like kids," He said, with a faint smile. "I still want to keep searching for my friend's kids, just a little while longer but...I'll check in, often. And once you're closer to giving birth, I'll be here to help out, if that works?" He asked. He could only be expected to hunt for Mira's children for so long...And then within a couple short months, he should start caring for his own.

Ash could be haughty and prideful. She could be cruel and callous and yes stern. But she also could be happy. Laugh. And get along with others.

Ash chuckled. Take your time. I have always planned to care for children by myself. So i wouldn't hold it against you either way. Just make sure it is what you want and aren't settling. Because then well you will hate it.

She smiled then and slowly rose. Her stomach quiet for the moment. Though it burned a bit.

For someone who seemed as confident as Ash Star seemed, he was very surprised that she warned him against 'settling.' He squinted lightly, amused. "Settling?" He repeated, and chuffed. "I'd have never thought 'siring pups by the leader of a pack and helping to raise them' to be considered settling. That's...kind of the...dream for most wolves, isn't it? Especially if it's-" Don't get too bold. He shrugged. "Y'know. 'Cause you're pretty, too, so." 

He considered the thought for a moment and chuckled. "If anything, you're the one settling. I'm not the leader of a pack- but at least I'm pretty too," He added.

Ash understood what he said. But Ingram had also said he would be fine as husband and father and he had left. He had hated it.

Ash studied him with eyes if deep sky. Intrigued by this young man. But also unsure. Though she did offer him a laugh at his words.

Thank you. You are indeed pretty as well.

Though his next words drew her wonder. Did he assume they had a relationship? Surely not. No he had to know that wasn't the case. Could they potentially? Would they? Wel ltine would tell. She was not keen to start something while emotional and hungry.

I hope you find thr little ones. And if you do not it does not cause you much sadness. I will continue to say prayers for you on your journies. Though as i grow. I won't be going to my altars as often.

A small laugh she remembered well how large she had gotten.

His laughter was short-lived and faint, but earnest. He was easily flattered, but also easily flummoxed by attention even when he drew it to himself. 

He considered the missing girls, but knew he could not dwell on their absence too long or he would begin to imagine the worst had come to pass, and that he would never find any sign of them. He was surprised to find that Ash Star was a devout wolf, seemingly so faithful that she even had an altar to pray at. This piqued his interest. 

”Who do you pray to?” He asked, unschooled in particular faiths, but willing to learn more about them.

Ash tilted an ear towards him. So he wasn't one who liked to be so blatantly flattered. She would remember this. Though, it may prove troublesome down the line and she may just ignore it. Ash wasn't one to not be absolutely blatantly honest to a point. She could hurt someones feelings.

A light smile lit up her face. Atka and Sos. Bear gods of balance. Both light and dark

”Bear gods?” He blurted, though there was more fascination than judgement in his tone. He’d expected for the gods to be some powerful wolves- but when he reflected for a moment…How more powerful could a god get, if not as a bear? 

”Can you tell me more about them?” His curiosity now stoked.

Ash laughed in delight and nodded. yes Bear Gods. Atka and Sos.

She loved her gods. Bowed down and wept for them. She held altars in the forests and she knew she had been lax lately on her worship, but she would change that soon enough. Because she neeeded and wanted too.

Atka is the bear of light, life and Sos the bear god of darkness, shadow and death. To put it simply. Some wolves choose to follow one or the other. I follow both, because I believe there should be balance and everyone has light and dark inside. No?

He suspended judgement while he learned about the bear gods, curious still why it was bears that had become the chosen representation but willing to overlook that for the moment. The duality of their nature was something he could understand- a god for dark and for light.

”Makes sense, yeah,” said. After all, nobody was perfect; recognizing one’s strengths and weaknesses was important. [b]”How did you learn about them?”[/b][/b]

The question of Bears. Ash could not answer. IT was not something she knew. She had not known who had first brought the words of the bear gods. Except that it had been the ladies of the sea who had told her grandma.

MY grandmother. A soft look stole across her face then. Sad and yearning all at once. For despite her true beliefs on love and how it hurt. She had loved her grandmother more than anyone in the world. 

Her name was SpottedFawn. She had been hurt something awful in her life, and yet. She was as sweet and as kind as if it had never happened. She jumped at shadows and cried easily. Dainty. But oh she loved big.