Hideaway Strath my empire of dirt

 

Ad promised Hemlock had gathered a bundle of herbs for @Tapat to try. She was hopeful, but realistic, that they might help the boys memory even on a smaller basic level. Anything was improvement at least and she could only supply what knowledge she knew for his ailments and do what she could to help him. Rather than call him she tracked the boy with careful quick steps, taking advantage of her improved mood and energy level before it plummeted again. She was cautiously optimistic but knew it was still very early, too early perhaps to be certain of things. 

Once she'd gotten closer and his scent grew she laid down the bundle and let out a low call - nothing urgent for him, just hopeful that he might be nearby and free for her to talk to. Since Sirius was gone, Hemlock was trying to fill her time in the pack lands doing other productive things. If she slipped and was lazy for too long, she lost herself in the sorrow; she couldn't deal with that. Not right then. 

Tapat was hanging around the family den. He still didn't have the heart to leave his parents. It also didn't spring into his mind that he could leave the den. He was happily snuggled between his parents every night. The teenager often hung around the den during the day. He kept himself busy with his imagination and playing. He would often things of useful things to do but often forgot them soon after. There was one thing he did remember, it was the pretty gray boy, Lagan.

Tapat's ears were lifted when he heard a call for him. He yipped excitedly in response and came running before he forgot after all. He excitedly greeted Hemlock with licks and kisses under her jaw. His tail was wagging. She always made him feel useful. He started to remember the woman and the tasks he had to do for her. He loved helping her and being helpful. However, she was the only one that ever asked him to do anything. "Hello!,' he spoke with a grin. "I Remember something!!!!," he then let out excitedly, not sure if he told her yet. "A pretty boy at our borders! He was really pretty... and kind! And he was gray in color with white on his head, and and! He smelled good too. He was so pretty!," Tapat let out excitedly.

Ooc: will format in the morning! 

Hemlock could only give a laugh when Tapat arrived on the scene full of his normal vigor and then some. She nuzzled briefly against him, relaxing for a moment as he launched into telling her about a - boy - that he had met. She chuckled at the description and wondered to herself who this boy was that had clearly made such an impression on her sweet Tapat. 

"He sounds lovely," She encouraged - pragmatic enough to realize if it wasn't another female there wasn't a risk to herself or her children when the pair came of age, and it wouldn't complicate things with Tapat and his memory either. Which brought her to the little honey drizzled bundle she had collected. "I have something for you. To thank you for helping me with my herbs. They will be a bit unpleasant to taste, but, I rolled them in honey so they would be sweeter." Hemlock explained. 

She debated telling him of the chance they might help his memory; she didn't want to give him false hope after all. Still, the chance was there and if she could do something for Tapat she wanted to. "I could start gathering more for you - to help keep you healthy and strong for your pretty boy." She teased fondly, nudging his shoulder with her snout in a playful manner.

Tapat grinned and excitedly nodded. "Yes! Yes he is!," he agreed to her. The male got more interested in the little bundle now and sniffed it curiously. He tipped his head and then gave it a lick. It tasted sweet. He instantly trusted Hemlock and gobbled it up. He coughed a bit as it wasn't tasting as nice as he expected. He swallowed it though and glanced at the red woman.

"I like helping you," he responded. "OH! Yes! I want to be healthy for the pretty boy. His name is Lagan!!," he blurted out without realizing he remembered some more. Though there was a downside to remembering as he would miss Lagan. He wasn't in this pack after all. "It didn't taste nice but I will eat it if it makes me strong. Just as strong as Astik?" Tapat was more than aware that his brother was bigger and stronger.

 

Hemlock watched as Tapat investigated the bundle before eating it, a little smile growing on her face. Of course it wouldn't be good but she had hopes that it would be helpful. Sometimes medicine wasn't the most appealing of arts taste wise, but, what the benefits it could give were was so much greater. "You and your brother have different strengths. I am not as strong physically as Lotte, nor as good with words and songs, but she does not know medicine and it's healing arts as I do." She explained, in a sense sidestepping the boy's question entirely. 

"Sometime if you wanted I would welcome you going with me to gather more herbs, perhaps I could escort you on a trip to visit your handsome beau as well." Hemlock offered. She wanted to keep active as much as she could before she would be bound to the pack's territory - but these were thoughts she didn't want to share with the pale boy in the event that she was somehow wrong or a true tragedy happened. 

Tapat fell back on his butt and looked up at Hemlock. He was now familiar enough with her to remember her name and some traits. The teenager listened to her words. She spoke about him being different from his brother. He sort of knew that. She explained the difference between her and Lotte. Tapat slowly nodded but he was rather quiet. "But... I am not good in anything," he spoke softly. He looked devasted when he said that because Tapat loved to help. But he would always need a supervisor or a guide.

His ears slowly perked up his ears when she mentioned Lagan. "Can we go see him?," he spoke softly. He wished to see him badly. He grew happier because of that idea. He wished he could have Lagan by his side always. He wanted all his kisses. Maybe they could have a sleep over too.

Hemlock reached out to nuzzle against him gently, offering him a small smile. She knew the feeling of basing your own self worth against your siblings - she and Rayen had taken up against one another for a long time in their positions as healer of their litter. It was different, certainly, between herself and Gotham but where he excelled physically she had the mental prowess to overtake him. "I do not know Astik as I know you," She began, and without question she had a soft spot for the male. "But you have a good heart, and you help me, and you are good with the children." She reminded him. "Just because you don't remember all the ways you are worthy does not mean you should doubt yourself. Your family - your pack - we will remind you every day." And of that, Hemlock was certain. 

"Perhaps we could find a time to go soon, as long as the pack does not need us." It would be a couple days of travel, not too long - and if she planned now perhaps it would not be too stressful. "Tapat," She began with a little smile. "I...I may not be able to go for a time. I may bear children - new young puppies for Teaghlaigh." She admitted. "If I am pregnant, it may not be safe for me to travel for a bit. But I would like to." 

It was true that Astik was different from him, however, sometimes it felt like he was better. Tapat tried to help when he could, but often even he would forget what he did. Oh yeah. He did help with the children and he liked doing that as well. Tapat slowly nodded. He felt his heart warm for Hemlock as she was always there to lift his spirits when his own glee failed him.

He slowly nodded, liking the idea that he could go with Hemlock to see Lagan. He hoped that Hemlock would like him as well. Tapat looked at Hemlock. More puppies? His tail wagged. "More babies?," he asked. He didn't know where babies came from hence why he didn't really ask about who the father was. "We can wait, Hemlock. It is okay. Can I help you with the babies?"

 

Hemlock felt so relieved when he lit up, wanting to help in his usually bright manner. He seemed to rebound quickly from his moments of doubt and if it was possible she was even more enamored with him. It was a near maternal instinct, feeling the need to protect him even though he was bigger than she was. She gave a chuckle and nodded to his question, glancing down at her stomach although it wasn't showing at all. "More babies," She agreed. "I will not know how many for awhile - but, hopefully, things will go smoothly." This would be her first pregnancy after all and who knew how things would actually turn out. 

"You have been good with the puppies," Hemlock said sweetly, offering Tapat a smile. "And I think you will be a wonderful sitter for these puppies too." She couldn't say that she would always leave him alone with the children - not because it was Tapat for she trusted him deeply, but because she wasn't sure she could ever tear her eyes off them. 

Tapat squeaked excitedly. He liked puppies. They always wanted to play with him. He nodded proudly when Hemlock said that he had been good with puppies. His tail patted against the ground. "I want to be a sitter for the puppies!,' he spoke excitedly. He had all forgotten now about his incompetencies. He stepped closer to Hemlock and admired her belly.

"Will they be my brothers and sisters, too?," he asked then. It wasn't like his parents had been around much lately. They were all busy. He was glad to have Hemlock around and these new babies. He was glad he could help her.

It would probably be awhile before her stomach truly began to change, maybe if she stared bard enough she could see a difference. Her fur hadn't really begun to thin much and she didn't look any different but the healer was more confident that things were changing in her. "Hopefully they will learn not to wander away," Hemlock mused mostly to herself, considering that Teaghlaigh had lost so many of its children. It made her nervous, but then, what first time mother wasn't? 

Hemlock drew in a deep breath when Tapat asked if they would be his brothers and sisters. She hadn't considered a formal relationship with the youth - mostly because be had his family here, even if they were absent in a sense. "We are all family here." Hemlock offered warmly - and while she wasn't sure if that would be enough to truly satisfy Tapat, it did make her happy. 

Tapat looked a bit confused at Hemlock's statement. He didn't know what she meant by having them wander away. Who wandered away? Had he forgotten one of the pups? He frowned, unsure about her words. He tipped his head a bit in question. He didn't really ask for it verbally. Tapat was soothed by her other words though. He smiled. "Yay," he hummed. He liked family, because well, family was all he knew. "Will Lagan be family too?," he asked. He really the boy to keep remembering him. His first love.

 

She realized she'd spoke out loud, worried still over Sirius and Roarke and Mallaidh - but it seemed the children were just...gone. Almost like they'd never been, but Hemlock knew she'd cared for them all the same. She gave a soft sigh as she watched Tapat for a moment, his joy infectious but still she had so many worries in her it was hard to ignore all of those concerns. "Maybe," Hemlock said with a little smile, reaching out to press her snout between his eyes in a little kiss. "Maybe you and your handsome boy will end up together forever." It wouldn't be so bad, would it? He'd have his happily ever after. 

Tapat grinned happily. His tail wagged excitedly. "I hope so. I really like Lagan," he admitted and blushed a bit. He wasn't sure if it was okay to tell out loud he liked someone. He then looked at Hemlock with a curious expression. "Hemlock, do you have someone you want to be with forever?," he then asked curiously. He wasn't sure if she had someone. He didn't connect her being pregnant with someone that she could love. He still needed the talk, if it would stick to his mind.

Hemlock squirmed a little at the question that Tapat asked, her eyes fluttering for a moment as she tried to decide how to answer. Of course, her mind instantly leapt to Lotte and Arturo - both of them, somehow together. Some uniquely beautiful sort of life where they were all happy together. "Yes,"  She admitted with a little smile. "I am greedy, though, and I have two that I love dearly. I would be happy to stay with them, and our babies, to have our family happy together."  That was a different situation than was normal though, and Hemlock knew it. 

Tapat smiled as she said she did. He wished for her to have someone she loved and they would love her back. A soft smile came upon his face. He sat closer to Hemlock. "You can love two people then? Not just one? Because I only felt like this about Lagan," he explained. Hopefully, Hemlock wouldn't be offended. He really liked her but she wasn't really boyfriend material as she wasn't even a guy. He also wished for his family to stay happily together.

 

Hemlock was almost bashful when she spoke, while she was an emotional woman she wasn't prone to openly talking about those emotions. She smiled gently at Tapat, giving a little nod his question. "You can - it does not mean that it happens that way. And usually it does not." Hemlock admitted. She gave a soft sigh, pondering for a moment. How exactly did you explain how love was? How complex it could be? "This isn't the first time I have loved - my first husband died last year in the winter. A cougar attacked and he gave his life to save ours." Hemlock said without a waver to her tone, trying to keep herself together for the sake of not upsetting Tapat, and, not upsetting herself. 

"But Teaghlaigh still took me in, even after I had followed the cougar and killed it." Hemlock was grateful too, every day. "That is where my scars came from." She explained. "And Lotte and Arturo - they mean so much to me." She admitted, watching to see his reaction. "Love is...complicated. I cannot even understand it. I would just say....enjoy it. No matter what, enjoy it." 

Tapat listened to the wise Hemlock. He nodded but didn't understand much of it yet. But, it seemed that there could be more Lagan's in his life. Tapat was shocked to hear that Hemlock had a husband before. He was so brave!! He had never met a cougar, he remembered them because they were always the villain in his momma's stories. These cougars sounded terrible.

"Wow! Are Cougars truely so mean? And wow! You must be hurt!!" But then Hemlock told him that she loved Lotte an Arturo. He realized that Hemlock also meant a lot to him. In his innocence he said; "I love you, Hemlock! So you will always have someone love you." Of course Tapat didn't house any romantic love for the red female but it was the sweet nature behind it that counted. He nodded his head seriously. He was enjoying his love for Lagan.