Lost Creek Hollow The Marks of men, the fortune she had won

Ash was growing noticeably larger. As it was and would be. The fur of her belly thinner. The underside tender and sore. Daily aches and pains were her bread and butter. She hadn't spoken to Esma or asilver or even Wren about sending her precious daughter to Akashingo. She still held trepidation for it. And she knew that Wren and Silver would probanly be having children this year as well.

There was a part of her that briefly wondered should she leave her title to Wren. Elevate Silver and Wren for was it not better to have two leaders than one. She had only ever been to be a placeholder.

She sighed and found a small stretch of sun to lay upon. Her body aching and she was so tired. Just a small rest perhaps.

would it break timelines too much to bring this to present? <3

ash star lay in the sun. silvertongue moved to join her co-lead, offering a smoothing of the fur along the back of one sculpted shoulder. "so we will both be mothers. three of us," she amended, for wren too would bear young. "riverclan will grow and grow." it was a pleasant thought, and she did not mind so much the twinge in her own hips.

not at all

Ash listened and nodded her head. A smilecfor the woman beside her. Her own shift to nibble at the other 

Yes it will. I look forward to seeing both of your babies.

Ash didn't care for Wren, but not in the ways that the she wolf thought. She did not hate her. She worried for her and Silver and what they could do to each other. To riverclan even, but more so she worried after the two women. Ahe hqd worried she would hurt herself again. But she had verbalized it so wrongly.

"and i yours." silvertongue was aware of course that there was an undercurrent between ash star and wren. she supposed it was her responsibility to mend it, but even her self-assurance had not yet provided her a way to do this. "as tempting as it is, i do not want riverclan to remain so — isolated. we should look to rebuild with kvarsheim and swiftcurrent." one, a place of hard-headed men, and the other seemed to be almost entirely children at this point. she did not want to be humiliated or at a disadvantage, however, and was not willing to compromise on many points.

Ash Paw smiled. She was happy to see that Silvertongue, was happier in this pregnancy than she had been. That perhaps she was truly mending and healing. This was good. It put Ash at ease.

Ash Paw frowned in thought. I do not know that I could bow down to a man now. I don't know much of Kvarsheim, and I have not gone since we lost Gunnar.

There was a small sadness there. For the man had been a constant in her life. Not many knew. Her aunties son, always stalwart. There when she had been born. Like a father or an uncle really.

Should we go to them? Or would you like to look for other's in other territories? We could send Ksura to scout possibly.

silvertongue considered; "we will need them for hunting, and they us. once were going to hunt as one. we should make sure this happens. riverclan does not need to give more than it has." and riverclan was changing, shrinking, losing more of itself. she needed to fight for its borders and if that meant compromise, she would find a way. "perhaps we should try kvarsheim first. the last i knew them, taktuq and tauris ruled."

There was a stirring in her minds eyes as she listened. The she wolf beside her wasn't wrong. They were losing members, the walls were crumbling. However, Ash was trying to hold it tightly, for her, for wren for the children. But if all were willing to relocate. Or build allies again. She felt she could work with this. And Ash could step aside if she must. She hadn't not planned to lead ever. 

Ash nodded her head. Though they had many more young than adults too.

silvertongue watched the witchwoman carefully. "soon, i think, crowfeather will lead. these young, they must be taught to lead." she was pensive for a long while, and then, "perhaps swiftcurrent would be better. i — i must mend things with akavir," she sighed, at last alluding to the thing she felt had been the ultimate destruction of their alliance.

Ash Paw was not offended in the least by Crowfeathwr possibly coming back. Even for Wren she would step aside if it was what Silver wanted. A she wolf who had fast gained the dark woman's favor.

Ash looked her over. Do you support? I don't know all the details of course, but even i could feel the sundering.

She wouldn't send the women to her pain alone if she wanted somwone with her.

how could ash star begin to understand without silvertongue delving into those painful things. "there is something between akavir and i, but it has never had the chance to be more. be it time, or old love, or just us. we both — feel the discomfort of it, i believe." she was shimmering and vulnerable in that moment, pulse racing.

[

A soft sigh as she thought of Ingram. She understood perhaps better than most. Though her love was not all consuming and if given a choice she would avoid such attachments and had so far.

You would be surprised to know that I understand to an extent. And i do know that love can be a bane and a beauty.

She thought of her auntie then.  Thistlecloud.

a bane and a beauty. that was how it had always been for silvertongue, she felt, until wren. she did not feel so much plucked of her thorns as she did that each briar was understood, and in turn she took care to learn the brambled parts of her lover's own heart. a bane. a beauty. she wondered if ash star had ever loved a woman, and suspected so. "why do we keep seeking it then?" the sharpfang murmured, slowly raising her gaze to the woven greenleaf canopies high above them.

Ash was a different beast than most. She had seen what love could do at a young age. How her father had missed her mother so much. How her auntie had all but been destroyed by the man she loved. How her grandma had been destroyed by a man she loved. Her grandfather had only been able to fix some of her sadness. So she didn't seek it out. Would rather possibly be alone her entire life than give her all to anyone that could take it and destroy it. 

Ash chuckled softly. I wish I could answer that. Because we want to feel wanted and desired. Perhaps?

yes. wanted. desired. silvertongue nodded with a little sigh. "it is interesting how such simple wants define us. rule us." she watched blades of grass bend beneath her paw, straightening when she lifted the limb. "so what do you do when you cannot let go of love? where can it go, ash star?"

Ash Paw made a soft sound. A cross between a sigh and a click. She wasn't sure honestly  it had all been a lot.

I am not so sure. I have never loved any in that way. I unlike many avoid it. I have seen how badly love hurts and didn't want it for myself, but.

A soft smile. I think it should go into ourselves. If were are unlucky in love then i think we should try to love ourselves harder, our friends.

"there is no arguing with that. but now i wonder why i find it so difficult." she rolled to regard the deep green shadows, the shafts of light slanted down, the beautiful foliage, and her spirit was moved by all that was lovely within riverclan.

Ash sighed. Because you were hurt badly. You just have to learn it. Sometimes it takes time.

A closing of blue eyes. A soft sound of delight. She loved it here.

a sound of agreement. they would lie there for some time in silent communion with the taiga air and the riverside. it was not riverclan. but it was not meant to be riverclan, she reminded herself, eventually dozing softly there where she kept vigil with ash star.