Duck Lake [m] Oh cease me

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She should have been happy.
In many ways, she was; surrounded by family, looking ahead to a bright future where her daughter would never need to run the way she had. It felt as if Reverie had spent her whole life running. From The Gilded Sea, from the witch, from the creeping flames of all the bridges she'd burned. There was nothing to run from anymore, yet the urge caught her from time to time.
And she knew it was because, for all her blind pursuit of freedom, she would never be free of herself. She was still the same woman who had cast everyone aside, had compromised the essence of herself for the love of a man; she was still the same woman who had threatened her husband with her own life. The one who had run from all those who'd tried to love her, to save her. But Reverie had always known that they could not help her.
How could anyone protect her from herself?
She wandered to the lakeside quite by accident — and she refused, refused to remember what it had meant to her, once. Reverie settled by the water's edge, unperturbed by the feathered residents, and wept. It was a small blessing, she thought, that the noise of them covered the raw sounds of her grief.

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The behemoth didn't leave the creek often so today on one such rare occasion he headed towards the nearby lake. He told himself it was to better scout the area. Get a lead on hunting prey for the autumn and winter, but that was a lie. 

He wanted away from the creek and the drama. Drama he didn't even know about, because he'd been sick and because Akavir no longer held his confidence he supposed.

The sound of someone on distress drew him and he froze in surprise when he saw her.

Fuck, Rev?

Omg!!! <333

Reverie, too, froze.
Her tears halted with the shock of it, and then she found she could do nothing but stare. Arric, She breathed, and a million other words caught in her throat. I'm sorry, and I missed you, and I should leave, I shouldn't be here, I —
Abruptly she stood, for a moment giving every appearance of preparing to flee. Yet something stopped her. She hesitated. And then it came pouring out; I'm sorry, She struggled not to choke on the words. I - I shouldn't have come back here, I just - I just wanted to see my family. At Kvarsheim. The tears filled her eyes again, burning. I - I won't bother you. At Swiftcurrent Creek. Or Akavir. I promise.

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thought you'd like him

She was well Rev. Thinner. Sadder. The smell of Lestan not on her, but blossom and someone else. What the actual fuck. But Arric realized he didn't give a shit.

He wanted to rail and scream. How dare she. How fucking dare. She was back stabbing and lying and she had upturned every godsdamn thing and yet. He couldn't she already looked fragile as fuck and hell if he wanted to be that big of a dip shit.


And what about us Rev? We aren't fucking family? Jesus jump the fuck up.

He closed his blue eyes and took a deep breath. 

Fuck me. he mumbled. Then he nodded at her. Just shut the fuck up and give me a hug.

Family; he'd called her —
She hugged him. Her tears fell quietly as she clung to him, and for a few moments she said nothing. But Reverie could never stay silent for long. There were so many things she needed to say to him, so many apologies to be made, but first —
I missed you, Reverie confessed, voice breaking. And I'm sorry for - for everything. I never meant to - She broke off into a quiet sob. We should have stayed. And then she dissolved into her tears, trying and failing to stifle them. It was pathetic, she knew; she had no right to show up and cry on Arric's shoulder again after everything, after all this time. But what could she do except cry?
She could never take back what she had done. She'd taken Lestan from them; she'd brought him to ruin. And that could never be undone.

She clung to him like the world was ending, but for Rev it had always seemed too. He wasn't quite sure what to do so he just held on.

He made a soft noise in his throat. Missed you too.

Her next words and he wanted to ask where Lestan was and Blossom why she didn't smell like him anymore and yet he was afraid of the answer.

So he just said quietly. Well it was something you felt you needed to do and im sure we didn't make any of it easy.

Reverie hadn't dared to hope that Arric still cared about her, that he might still want her in his life. Yet he'd missed her; he'd called her family; he held her as if she'd never turned her back on him. She didn't deserve this. She deserved his anger.
But she loved him too much and had missed him far too desperately to question his acceptance of her. Surely there would be time to discuss what had happened between them, time to apologize properly and truly put to rest that old drama. For now, they were reunited. And he was her family; all of Swiftcurrent Creek had been, but Arric most of all.
You were just trying to help, She said earnestly, pulling away to meet his eyes now. And I - I really wanted to get better. But when Lestan left, I... it was like the whole world was dark, and he was the only light. I couldn't see anything past that. And now... Her heart lurched into her throat. He - he's gone. And it's my fault.
I never meant to hurt anyone, Reverie finished, voice low with grief. But I - I hurt all of you. Akavir and - and Moss...

Had she asked him months ago. He'd have said he couldn't forgive. But now well. He could. It just wasn't worth it.

Arric blinked at her mention of Moss and took a deep breath.

Moss is gone rev, but...it wasn't your fault.

Arric looked down. It wasnt her fault. Too many circumstances too much stuff.

She wouldn't blame you and you know it.

Arric was speaking of Moss. She was gone, he said.
And Reverie knew, she knew what he meant and yet all of her refused it, denied it. Gone. Gone where? She questioned in a voice too small, too wavering. Then her eyes widened a little, and her ears fell back, and her throat tightened with sudden understanding.
No, She denied it again, again; No, no, no - she - She deserved better than this. Reverie began to cry again, choking sobs this time. Where? Where is she - her - where did you - you bury her? Moss. Her throat ached. I'm sorry. It was too late, too late. It should have been me.

Arric laid his ears to his skull unsure what to say or how to make her feel better. He just held on and nodded his head.

Though thr n3xt question caused him to look down. I don't know i was in and out of it myself. I exhausted myself. Akavir buried her.

He wanted to share about Cygnet, but wasn't sure if Akavir wanted anyone to know that.

Her heart was torn further by his confession that he'd worn himself too thin, and Reverie couldn't help but blame herself for this, too. Arric had given so much of himself to helping her; even months later, how much of his exhaustion was because of her? And Reverie realized something else then, something that caught her by the throat and refused to let go:
That she loved him more than she should. She buried her face in the fur of his shoulder and resolved that he could never know. It would never be returned, and besides, she had broken his trust, she had chosen another, Akavir hated her, and —
Maybe some part of her wished that things could be different, but mostly, Reverie was relieved that Arric did not love her the way Lestan had. Her love was a burning, grasping thing, and Arric was already crumbling under the weight of too many demands. You should take more time for yourself, She told him softly, a little muffled by his fur. You can't save anyone from themselves, Arric. And I know you're trying - because you tried with me. But - your happiness is important too.
Too important to her to ever again be jeopardized by the flames that followed her everywhere.

Arric hadn't been worn thin by anyone, but himself. And perhaps his leader, but that was not an argument or a thought he wished to dwell on. IT was just one of those things that happened. He had done what he could to make sure everything continued in the current state of affairs that were going on.

I won't stop trying Reverie. Because I've seen what happens. But I will try and take more time for myself. On that i can agree at least.

He curled a paw around her again. And leaned just a little in her, the rattling sigh that left him, showing the true testament to how tired he really was, but he'd wake up and do it all again tomorrow, because it was what was expected of him, and because he was that kind of guy.

Reverie held him tightly to her, hoping that he might find some comfort in her embrace even after all that had happened between them. She blinked her tears away and tried to gather herself. It was time to turn the focus of their conversation to Arric and his well-being, for once. They'd spent more than enough time focused on her and her struggles.
Then maybe you could start now, She suggested softly. We can do - whatever you want. Do you want to talk about it - what's been going on? Or... or I could show you some of the pretty places I've found in the valley, get your mind off of it. Anything; I - I just want to try to help. And she hoped that he would let her try, even knowing that she could hardly even help herself. No one could help her, really. But Arric was different. He had a bright future ahead of him, she knew, if only he could escape the shadows following those around him.

Rev held to him and that hug did a wonder of good for the dark man. There was still so much happening, but it was a little more bearable now.

A grin. How about you show me some of those pretty places a distraction sounds good.

White rimmed eye gazed at her with that boyish smirk he'd perfected over the years ears splayed in different ways. He loved landscapes.

I hope you found different types not just like beach and cliff, id like forest and hills and all that.

Fading <3

A distraction, then! Reverie nodded, smiling as she thought of the perfect place. Well - there's a place I know of to the west. It's a difficult climb, but there's a bunch of waterfalls! I've never seen so many in one place, She didn't think a difficult climb would scare Arric away. He was a wonderful dancer, and all one really needed to make the climb was a bit of grace and a decent sense of balance.

Some familiarity with the area helped, too, but that was what Reverie was for. Come on, I'll show you! She beckoned for him to follow as she started to lead him west. Reverie hoped that somewhere between the climb and the breathtaking view that would follow, Arric would find a sense of peace.