Mount Apikuni go then, there are other worlds than these
All Welcome  August 02, 2018, 04:15 PM
Illidan
Approved Members


Frustrated and unable to comprehend how to properly deal with such emotions, the boy sought peace from the others for a moment. His weary limbs carried him away from them and toward a large crag where he thought he could find shade and some solitude before they would be setting out again. Beneath the jutting stone, Illidan lowered himself into the dirt and heaved a soft sigh. The weight of his former discovery still rested squarely on his shoulders. He did not sleep as well as he should have; he did not eat as much as was necessary for a growing body. It was showing in his frame, as the boy had started to appear gaunt and ghostly.

A sparrow fluttered overhead before landing on the furthest tip of the crag. The boy cast a pair of sharp yellow eyes toward the creature with some moderate interest. It did not appear to notice him, or did not care that he was there. Perhaps the bird too thought he was withering away.
August 02, 2018, 05:16 PM
Grezig
Whitebark Stream
VIII
Grezig had been keeping an eye on Illidan since making him come back to the group with her. He had refused to speak about it, so she still had no idea what was wrong. She had been tempted to go to the alphas with her concerns about the boy, but since she didn’t even know what had happened, she wasn’t sure they could help in any way. She felt like the best thing to do was to just leave him be for a while. She’d left him alone for a few days after they had returned, but now, as she watched him move away and lay down under a jutting rock, she rose to her paws and slowly made her way over to him.

Trying to be careful about what she said, lest she cause him to shut down, she began with, “We will be leaving this place soon, to move farther into the rest of the mountain range.” She was a small distance away from the boy, to give him a bit of space, but was close enough that she could speak at a normal tone. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and then quickly looked away again, not wanting to seem as though she were begging for some kind of acknowledgement, even if she was.
August 02, 2018, 09:51 PM
Illidan
Approved Members

Grezig snapped him from his thoughts, and the boy turned his head to her with a tired expression. The woman had done well to keep a watchful eye on him. Ever since he had trotted away... ever since he had found his father, she had donned the role of a shadow. Illidan didn't mind; he did not plan to venture far after his first excursion. Though the luring taste of wanderlust had crept through his bones, the hooded boy had remained close to the traveling band of wolves. While he did not speak much, he was always watchful of the wolves who joined them later on. He did not trust them all; he never would.

“Okay,” he told her after she had informed him of their next plans to move on. Really, Illidan would have followed them wherever they went. He knew better than to leave on his own at that point. Still, he assumed she was doing it out of some form of kindness, or protectiveness. Neither of those things were easily comprehended. Unsure of what more he should say, Illidan watched her with a furrowed brow and unblinking yellow eyes.
August 02, 2018, 10:02 PM
Grezig
Whitebark Stream
VIII
Illidan gave her a one-worded response, the usual for him, and when she turned her head to look at him again, he was just staring at her. She held his gaze for a moment, and then looked away awkwardly, unsure of what else she could possibly say to him. Nice weather we’re having? No. Nothing she could think of was good enough. She desperately wanted to ask him what had happened that day she’d found him so far from the group, but she couldn’t, lest he lock her out of his mind and heart. She sighed for a moment, and finally asked, “Is there anything I can do to help you?” 

She hated this indecision—this inability to know what to do. And she was not used to children in the first place. Though, when she looked at him, she noted that he was growing all the time, getting bigger… but skinny as a twig. Her brows furrowed in concern. “You must eat more. You need your strength to keep up with the group when we move on.”
August 06, 2018, 03:04 PM
Illidan
Approved Members

Grezig was an odd woman. She seemed gruff on the exterior, but the more time Illidan had spent with her, the more he'd realized she was a kind and devoted type of creature. He didn't understand how she had found herself so attached to him and his troubled ways. The hooded pup knew that she had made a great effort to tend to him when needed, though she was careful to give him space. Had he been any other wolf, he would have likely thanked her for her kindness. As it was, Illidan was not fond of thanking anyone for anything, so he merely glanced to her when she inquired if there was anything she could do for him and frowned when she mentioned that he needed to eat more.

“Why haven't you guys left me?”

The question tumbled from his lips before he had any means to stop it, and even he was shocked that he had inquired that of her. In his mind, it only made sense that the weakest member should have been left to fend for himself. He was really only trouble for them; he had not contributed much since having been scooped up by the white woman and her dark mate. Why had he not been left behind already?
August 06, 2018, 03:31 PM
Grezig
Whitebark Stream
VIII
Illidan was silent as stone, as usual. He almost ignored her words, only glancing at her and frowning. These actions had become commonplace during their interactions. Grezig did not mind or really care. In her natal pack, the entire group had spoken very little, mostly relying on body language to convey meaning. Perhaps that was why she liked the boy’s company as much as she did, even if he was grumpy all the time, and pretty much pretended she wasn’t there. In the silence, there was understanding. She turned her head away from him once she realized he was not going to respond to her.

Silence… then…

’Why haven’t you guys left me?’

The question made her feel as if a rivulet of cold water were rolling down her spine. For all her logic, this boy made her feel things she did not know she was capable of feeling. What a question… How on earth was she supposed to answer this? The real answer, at least for her (she could not speak for the others in the group) was that leaving him could cause him to become mentally unstable.

Illdan was old enough now to live perhaps long enough to find a new pack to join. There he might grow up, and maybe, he would be happy. But you never knew. Maybe, if he lived, he would grow bitter and angry with the group of wolves who abandoned him. He was not a young pup, not newborn. Grezig had no trouble killing newborns if there was no one to properly care for them. Illidan was too old to be abandoned without possible repercussions. He might find them again, later in life, and take vengeance. Grezig could not allow that. She had put too much time and effort into helping this founding pack. Illidan was a part of that now, whether he wanted to be or not. He was a member, therefore he was family. Therefore, Grezig would care for him as she might a son—even if he was depressed and refused to eat and could slow them down.

“You are a part of this group now,” she said, finally, after many long moments of silence and struggling thoughts. “We will not abandon you.” A pause, a skip of her heartbeat, a risked emotion. I will not abandon you.”

Yes. Her reasons were both logical and emotional. In caring for Illidan, she was caring for the entire group… and she was allowing herself to feel. But even this was logical. Cutting off one’s emotions could make one unstable as well. So she allowed herself the time to get to know the others, even the boy with the shadowed heart.
August 22, 2018, 10:28 PM
Illidan
Approved Members

Grezig's fears were not misplaced. The thought that he might turn into a foul creature that sought only revenge was closer to the truth than anyone would ever know. There were things that boiled under the surface of the savage young boy that seemed to have roamed the earth for thousands of years. It was just under the surface of a composed facade. Illidan knew, though, and he felt all of those things within him. He merely lacked the ability to be able to act on them. The life had been sucked from his bones. The hooded child knew nothing of what would happen to him, or the others that traveled alongside him. He knew only that there had been one constant in his existence, and that was turmoil.

When Grezig spoke, it seemed that she used words filled with passion. Illidan squinted at her, watching her features contort in concern and then determination. He had never seen expressions like that before, and so he did not know what they meant as well as he should have. His own parents had only ever been wild to him, and so he knew only the feral nature of existing the way they were intended.

Her words should have touched him. They should have made him feel as though he had finally found a home that would accept him.

Instead, they made him feel worthless.

Clenching his jaw tightly, Illidan turned his gaze away from her and his frame stiffened. He could no longer stretch himself out in a leisurely position. No, he was forced to sit up and swallow the heavy pill that was being forced down his throat. The more that he got to know the wolves who had taken him in, the more he had started to realize that he did not belong there. Illidan was not like them; he did not possess the same kindness – the same caring spirit – as they. While he should not have been able to realize such things at his age, it was beyond the point of simple understanding.

The nature of a savage was embedded in his marrow.

Kindness did not have a place in their world. Illidan may not have known much, but he knew that the earth revolved beyond their control. And there were things that could never be changed or rectified. Grezig was a logical being, but she did not see things the way that he did. Perhaps, there would not be a soul who could.

When the boy finally returned his hawkish gaze to the woman, it was without expression or emotion. He had fought against the anger once more and had managed to smother it down. Still, he felt as though her words required some kind of response. Swiveling a single ear atop his crown, the boy in the dark hood shook his head and breathed a sigh. “I would have left me,” he admitted to her in a voice that shook with the weight of his repressed fury. After all, hadn't he left his family already? Not because they were weak, but because he believed himself to be more capable than they. In some ways, he had been correct. It was not the child's body that had washed ashore some decrepit lake.

“I don't know if that makes you better than me, or worse.”
August 24, 2018, 03:33 PM
Grezig
Whitebark Stream
VIII
The way Illidan looked at her, as if he were confused, concerned Grezig even more. She feared that there was something already mentally wrong with this boy—something she could never fix. He looked away from her after she spoke and she noted the clench in his jaw. She suppressed a sigh, inhaling breath instead of exhaling. She waited. When he finally looked at her again, the blank stare he gave her set her guard hairs itching. She had not gotten through to him at all, had she? What was she supposed to do now? Perhaps there was nothing she could do. Then he shook his head at her, sighing, and even that small amount of emotion was enough for her to grasp onto. Come on, boy, she thought. Feel!

’I would have left me,’ he admitted to her, voice shaking. ’I don't know if that makes you better than me, or worse.’

She pulled her head back, looking at him with a new gaze. What was this? Did he really think himself so useless? Maybe he needed a purpose. Perhaps she should take him hunting. He was not so young now. He should at least learn to hunt small game. Perhaps she should spar with him, which might help release whatever emotions he was feeling—if he was feeling any. The quake in voice made her think that maybe he was, even if he didn’t want to be.

She tried a different tactic, reverting back to her usual gruff self as opposed to trying to be soft on Illidan. “I do not care what you would have done in my situation. I do not care if I am better or worse than you. You will survive and you will not continue to wallow in your self-hatred or your self-pity, or whatever it is you are feeling.” She stood up. “Choose something to do with yourself. Hunting, fighting…” She searched for another calling and her mind randomly landed on Thorleif. “Study bugs for all I care. Do something useful with yourself and perhaps you will soon feel differently. You are quickly growing up. You cannot continue to be childish like this. I will not allow it.” She stood, looking down at Illidan with a determined, almost angry glare, and dared him with her eyes to defy her.

Closing this. DM/PM me for a new thread. <3

The boy said nothing, however. Grezig stared at him for a few moments longer, waiting, giving him the chance to retaliate if he wished, but he was still as stone. She snorted and turned away in a flash, walking away from him, tail curled over her back in a show of authority.

[Exit.]