Blacktail Deer Plateau Point proven

@Issun!

After the bear attack it had taken a long while for her to recover. She hadn't woken up for three days and when she did she was groggy, ill and mentally damaged. Her memories were screwed up and migraines plagued her, debilitating her almost completely. Fortunately her memories came back quickly and she gained her strength and wits back by a weeks time and was now back to her normal self. Except for the occasional migraine and dizzy spell, she functioned like the warrior she was.

Until she realised he was gone. 

When it sank in that Corvus's scent had vanished from the area, she was stunned. Perhaps he had left when she was unconscious and couldn't have explained it to her? Either way it hurt. She had opened up and let him in, made a foolish choice to repeat the same action that hurt her in the past and look what happened. She was hurt. So she began to push everyone away again, avoiding her pack like they had the plague. She even had begun to avoid Issun who she was well aware had tended to her while she was crippled. She felt guilty for it, but she refused to cave again. She pushed off the ground and took off, deciding that a good run would chase the sadness away.

issun had been keeping a close eye on minori since the bear attack. he’d come to her den everyday to see how she was fairing. she didn’t wake up for the first few days and he worried she’d never rise again. but she did, and it was a relief. he expected her to bounce back into her usual self again, but that wasn’t the case.

days passed by and minori was still hunkered down in that same old den. isolated from the rest of the pack, including himself. issun went out of his way to bring her food after his patrols. he would attempt to make conversation with her, but her replies were always blunt, like she wished to get rid of him as soon as possible. it was confusing and upsetting.

the day went by as usual. issun patrolled, then dug up a hare he had caught earlier before making his way towards minori’s den. a part of him wondered why he kept on doing this. she clearly wanted to distance herself from the pack, why did he insist on helping her? well, she was his friend, and he admittedly favored her over anyone else. that’s what friends are for right?

a dark flash through the trees caught his attention. it was minori. weird seeing her away from her usual spot, but it made him happy. maybe she was feeling better now. he immediately went after her and called out, “’ait up!” through plush rabbit fur.

Apparently the run would not clear her mind, for as soon as she began to reach her top speed Issun's voice called out to her sounding muffled. She did not immediately halt but instead made a nasty point by continuing to run for a good few minutes before she slowed down and stopped, flanks heaving. She had been resting for so long the run had worn her down rather quickly. "What is it Issun?" she asked her tone cold and despite the squeeze of guilt inside of her, she turned dagger eyes upon him.

she continued to run as if he wasn’t even there but that didn’t stop him. he sped up and came to an abrupt halt when she stopped, nearly knocking into her. her tone and body language was harsh. definitely something expected from the firey woman, but he’d never guess she’d direct those feelings towards him. the shock glistened in his eyes.

“’ice to see you runnin’ ‘rounf,” he stated before dropping the rabbit to speak more clearly. he wanted to avoid confrontation and just have small talk, but he couldn’t take it anymore. he needed to know what was up. “what’s the matter with you? you’ve been avoiding everyone!” he paused, realizing the anger and pain in his voice. then he added softly, “you’ve been avoiding me. did i do something wrong?”

The guilt grew within her, squeezing her lungs until she felt she would pass out. The shock on his face marked her as a traitor, a wolf with no heart. She frowned, for a moment looking distraught before her expression hardened again and she snorted. "Everyone's avoided me too, you're the only one who seemed to visit me when I was crippled. Why should I go out of my way to speak to them?" she snapped. It was partially true, not many members had shown concern for her but she hadn't exactly made many friends. When he added the hurt question, asking if he had done something wrong she almost caved. She forced herself to look away "Issun" she said stopping when her voice trembled and cracked. Her ears flattened back and she shifted her weight, heart aching inside her chest. She looked back at him, studying him. He was her friend, he had stayed for her and was the one to get her through her injury. She wanted to make amends, to let him know it wasn't his fault, but if she did let him in and he left her, it would be the end. She forced a steely expression on her face "Can't you tell when someone doesn't want you around?" she forced an exasperated tone into her voice and turned around preparing to leave. She looked over her shoulder the anger leaving her face "If you know what's good for you and you really care about me, leave me be Issun." she said it softly and sighed, starting to walk off and hoping she'd hurt him enough to make him go.

he had nothing to say to combat her point. it was true, no one really came to her aid through the weeks. maybe liri did, since she had herb knowledge, but he didn’t know for sure. other then that, he couldn’t think of anyone else.

she turned to leave, but before she did she said: can’t you tell when someone doesn’t want you around?

that stung.

he was at a loss for words. sadness and anger rushed through him and he hid those feelings. all he did was watch her start to leave.

then suddenly, he darted forward in front of her path. “if you never wanted me around then why did you want me to come here in the first place?” he hissed. “minori, i care for you. i want to help you. but i can’t do shit if you keep running from your problems. you can’t bottle them up forever.”

Every step away from him hurt while she resisted the urge to turn around and apologise. She had learned her lesson about opening up here. Wolves were no different then they were at home. She would have walked away from him completely if he hadn't stopped her, which both surprised and pissed her off. Why did everyone make it so difficult for her to distance herself? With a growl she bunched her muscles and sprang at him, attempting to knock him over or at least out of her way. While she did so she shouted at him in japanese, unable to focus enough to use english "I already let one person in, I let someone here convince me to open up and what did he do? He vanished without a goodbye!" she snarled at the thought of Corvus. Why did it hurt so much? They hadn't really known one another that well. Maybe it was because he was so like Higoro and he was fascinating and handsome and he showed genuine interest more then anyone else. Maybe it was because she was hopelessly lonely and craved affection and friendship despite knowing where it got her.

She backed off of him her fur bristling though her tail sagged and her ears flattened. "Corvus vanished. He pried down my walls, earned my trust. Then he left. Betrayed me like Higoro. Hurt me like him. How can I trust you won't do it too?" she spat the question at him avoiding his eyes. At that moment a flash of pain went through her head and she gasped as the pounding of a migraine made her sway, rear end hitting the ground.

I'll let you decide whether she succeeds in hitting him at all.

her lunge took him by surprise and he went crashing to the ground underneath the woman. she growled about someone who she became close to and how they left her. it was soon revealed that it was corvus, someone she had spoke very fondly of. her story was like his. sage and malice left him just like corvus left her. the two were more alike then he thought.

the warrior quickly stood up when she fell and sat in front of her. “look at me,” he says as he attempted to move her muzzle with his to make eye contact, if she would allow it. “i’m not like them, i’d never put you through that. i’ll always be with you. you’re going to have to trust me, please.”

She had closed her eyes both to block out the sight of him on the ground and to block out the sunlight that caused her more pain. She hadn't realised he had gotten up until he was speaking to her. She opened her eyes and tensed at the proximity, heart beginning to hammer for reasons she couldn't pinpoint as he lifted her muzzle. Flustered she remained silent and stared at him wide eyed, listening as the look on her face became wrought with hurt and frightened hope. "How? How do I trust when every time I allow myself to do so, it proves painful? If you leave me too, I...I don't even know what would happen. I'd break."  she whispered, voice vulnerable as it shook. She stared right into his eyes searching for something, anything that would make her believe he wouldn't leave.

in all honesty, there was no way to prove he wouldn’t leave. and that wasn’t to say he was lying, he really believed that nothing would ever sway him into betraying her. the only way he could really prove it was to, well, not leave. and he could only assure that through his words.

“i don’t know,” he sighed, “but i promise that i will never hurt you.” he nudged her cheek with his cold nose to comfort her.

She felt a throb in her heart, a strong aching desperation to accept his words and just believe him. After all, hadn't he taken her word for it and followed her here after she had abandoned his pack? He still trusted her...she should do the same. She closed her eyes and tensely relished his embrace, not used to physical affection but finding it pleasant. "I...will believe you. Just...if you hurt me I'll retaliate. I'm so tired of being hurt..." she spoke softly despite the underlying threat. She honestly didn't know whether it was an empty threat or if she would ever follow through. She prayed she wouldn't ever need to consider it. 

She needed to know something, something fueled by guilt she harbored. "Why do you still want to be near me when I left you? I probably had part in the downfall of Kamiki. If I stayed maybe it  would have succeeded...Im sorry Issun"

it was good to know that she could trust him, at least that’s what she led on. there was an underlying suspicion that wasn’t the whole truth, all the more reason to prove himself. he did not wish to hurt her, it would never come to that.

she questioned his motive to stay with her and put the blame of kamiki’s downfall on herself. “because you’re my friend,” he started, “and don’t blame yourself for what happened, it wasn’t your fault. there were little numbers to begin with and after awhile we had to go our separate ways.”

After her questioning of his reasons she had pulled back from his embrace to look into his eyes, searching them and his face for honesty. Yes, part of her trusted him but the rest of her would take time to follow suit. "I still feel awful. It was...your dream. Are you happy here Issun?" she asked, worry in her gaze. If he wasn't happy he would leave and she would have to choose between loyalty to pack and losing another friend. "It is not the perfect pack but I do not think I would be able to settle into anything different" she added in hopes he would agree.

are you happy here issun?

that was difficult to answer.  there was a strong will to say he loved this place. that he had undying loyalty and would die for this place, but it simply wasn’t true. his feelings for the plateau and it’s wolves were neutral. well, neutral for most of them. minori was the only one he really cared for, the soul reason he stayed in the first place. “i’m happy here with you, that’s all that matters.”

His answer would be met with silence for a while, while she stared at him with wide eyes. Her breath shook as she released it, lips quivering as she tensed and untensed with hesitation and uncertainty. He wasn't completely happy here, she kinda figured that, but he was happy enough because of her. It made a strange feeling surge through her chest and her ears perked before settling back at ease on her skull. What would she do in return for him? Would she leave for him? She couldn't be so selfish as to force him to stay because she wanted to, but could she leave? "If you ever want to leave..let me know alright? I want to know so that...I can choose whether to come or let you go. I do not want you to feel trapped here because of me" she whispered this, it kind of hurt to imagine letting Issun leave and staying behind but it hurt more to think he was suffering for her sake. She stood and moved closer, lowering her head and pressing her forehead to his shoulder "You are a true friend Issun. I hope I never lose you"

wanna fade?

his words were met with silence. had he said something wrong? oh, what he would give to know what was going on through her head, maybe it would put him at ease. but there was no way of knowing and he grew increasingly anxious.

she finally spoke and he didn’t know how didn’t know how to respond at first. trapped? no... he didn’t mean for his words to come off like that. “i-” he started, “ok. i will.”

She flicked an ear as he seemed to hesitate but when he agreed she gave a nod, accepting his answer. She smiled slightly at him unsure what else to say. "I'll see you around then. Maybe we can spar" she suggested eyes glimmering with excitement at the idea. She wagged and turned around, beginning to head off. Her tail swayed slowly back and forth as she walked, feeling happy for the first time in a while.

I'll archive here unless you want one last post. Lemme know in the bdp server!