Heron Lake Plateau find the mom quest
All Welcome  December 05, 2018, 07:33 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
hoping for a mom-adventure w/ the stevie?! :D tags for reference.

"Mommy?" Eljay called out as he poked his nose around the rendezvous site. Now that Tywyll and Cinder were mostly old enough to fend for themselves, it was a lot harder to get a hold of @Finley whenever he was looking for her. But then, she could be pretty much anywhere. No longer being a leader had given mommy a lot more freedom but it also meant that there weren't as many go-to places to look for her in, like the borders or the rendezvous site (now that this year's batch was a bit older).

His last conversation with daddy kept being on his mind, but Eljay tried not to get it get to him too much. He just needed to accept that he would likely never have pups of his own, and maybe that would be okay. Maybe it was just his destiny to help others in the pack look after their pups and that'd be enough. Lately he had been working on trying to teach @Owen, @Kite, @Vasa and @Phoebe to hunt but it was a challenge for sure -- luckily they had the whole pack to help. Eljay remembered well how he had failed when he'd taken last year's Blackthorns for their first hunt and he was nervous at the thought that leadership may ask him to take this year's children to hunt some time soon. He had no natural authority, and he was afraid they'd just ignore his directions like his siblings had last year. They'd been lucky that time, but what if he'd screw up even worse this year? It wasn't a rare sight to see Eljay lost in thoughts as his find-the-mom-quest had been sidetracked into a pondering-about-things-activity.
December 05, 2018, 12:07 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Fin was somewhere nearby when she heard her eldest's voice calling out to her. I can't really describe where she was, nor can I describe anything about the rendezvous site because I legit have no idea where it is or what it looks like. But I'm just going to gloss over all of that as eloquently as I can. She turned away from idly watching a squirrel poking around on some sort of landscape and moved to close the distance between her and Eljay, thankful for something way more interesting to actually spend her time on.

A smile jumped across her face when she spotted him. "Hey there, Jay," she crooned as she reached to give him an affectionate nudge to his temple. Her mind jumped immediately to the conversation she'd had with Elwood recently about trying to find a mate for her son, but she kept the offer in the back of her mind for now, assuming he'd been searching for her for some different reason.

 
December 06, 2018, 06:26 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
In the midst of his pondering about things, Eljay had totally forgotten that he had been looking for mommy to start with, until he heard her voice. He lifted his head and perked his ears, then a smile appeared on his face. He always felt better in mom's presence. "Hey mommy," he greeted, even though he was three and a half years old and should probably know better than to call his mother mommy by now. He returned the nudge to the cheek with a nuzzle to the side of the nose.

"I was just thinking about when the pups will have their first big hunt..." He trailed off there, clearly feeling a little self-conscious about it, which Finley would doubtlessly pick up on, whether it was because he was showing it, mom-vibes, or because he felt self-conscious about most things so it wasn't that hard to predict. "I'm not sure when they'll be ready." Raven's kids, he meant, of course. He thought maybe it would help to include all the pups -- then the older ones could help the younger ones out.
December 08, 2018, 12:28 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Fin couldn't help but grin at the memory Eljay's comment brought to her mind. While it had been a little frightening at the time what with Fiadh getting injured, the wildling's first hunt was quite hilarious in retrospect. Her youngest two were plenty old enough to hunt on their own by now, so she assumed her eldest was referring to the other kids - Raven's quartet. Though with Wildfire' group now amongst them, she supposed it was more like.... a fuckload. How old were Wildfire's anyway?

"It's probably about time, I'd say," Fin said thoughtfully, "Rave's kids are what, six months old now? Do you remember how old the wildlings were when you took them out?" She supposed she ought to have known herself how old her kids were when they'd had their first hunts. I mean, she was on litter number four. She really didn't pay attention very well, did she.

 
December 11, 2018, 09:51 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
Eljay thought back to that hunt grimly, and the thought of having to take the newest batch of pups out to hunt frightened him greatly. Mom said it was about time, which Eljay agreed with, though he still hoped someone else might do it instead. He didn't really remember when about they'd done the first hunt last year, really... "I don't really remember," he admitted. "I guess... Probably around that age? But it was earlier in the year, wasn't it..? I don't remember it being so... wintery." Eljay frowned as he looked round, figuring that the snow would make it a lot more difficult; both to find a good prey as well as successfully bring it down.
December 12, 2018, 08:38 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Fin really had to stretch her mind back to try and come up with more details about the hunt other than crazy ass kids running every which way. And by that I mean, I gotta check my threadlog real quick and see when the crap this actually happened. One sec. Okay got it.

"Yeah... I think it was late Winter at the earliest. I remember it being kind of chilly still, but more... soggy than snowy. Either way, I judge readiness more by size than age. They're big enough to take a kick if they do something stupid without getting themselves killed, so I say you go for it as long as Ray and K'yote are on board," Fin answered with a smile. In the end, it really was up to their parents.

"You could see if the rest of the younglings want to go too. Make it a real party," she added.

 
December 13, 2018, 11:25 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
Eljay didn't really remember when it was. He thought it'd been earlier, but judging by mommy's better than his jogged memory it must've been later than he thought. Oh well. Bottom line was the pups were probably ready, if Raven and Quixote agreed. Eljay nodded, though he decided he'd just wait until they asked him to organise a hunt rather than organise it himself. It had been pretty scary last time, so he was eager to procrastinate this one.

"Wiffle suggested visiting Redhawk Caldera sometime," said Eljay. "With you and dad." He looked to gauge interest from mommy, hoping that she was as excited about this idea as he. Maybe if he could get mommy and daddy to visit Redhawk Caldera, they'd realise how much they missed it too and want to move back.
December 14, 2018, 05:45 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Eljay nodded along, but didn't pursue the topic further. She wondered if he'd received all the encouragement he needed in order to move forward with the planning, but went ahead and moved with conversation anyway. The time for her to baby him and tell him what to do had long passed by. She hesitated even when it came to encouragement sometimes, knowing that it didn't always do as much good as she intended. Suggesting standards for him to live up to had the potential to make him too nervous, and to encourage him sometimes set standards in her son's mind. She didn't want to make him anxious, nor did she want to lead him to feel like a failure if he didn't step up to what he thought she wanted.

And anyway, she was interested in this turn. "Yeah, we're thinking the Spring when the weather gets nicer," she replied, "Assuming I can travel at that point and I'm not weighed down by your next batch of brothers and sisters." A smile danced across her face, but her eyes were watching Eljay intently now. Her and Elwood's conversation about playing matchmaker for their eldest had not left her mind, and she was hopeful there might be a chance to discuss it with him.

 
December 18, 2018, 08:55 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
Eljay nodded as mommy mentioned spring. It was probably for the better to stay around here for the moment, even if it was a little disappointing. The time to visit Redhawk Caldera couldn't arrive fast enough for Eljay -- if someone told him they were leaving now, he would be ready to go. Eljay smiled as mommy mentioned being pregnant again. It'd be nice to welcome another batch of siblings into the world. Eljay wondered if his feelings towards them would be of a big brother or if it would be like Raven's children and he would feel more like a father or fun uncle to them instead now that he was getting older.

"That'll be nice," Eljay agreed, mirroring mommy's smile. "To be a big brother again." And he would, of course, make sure that mommy would be safe throughout the pregnancy and the birth. Every year he gained a little bit of experience, even though at times he could miss the moment of birth because things happened fast, like with Raven.
December 18, 2018, 12:35 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Eljay had always been an excellent big brother to his siblings. She remembered when Liffey, Lagan and Lucy had been born, how he'd been there and how he'd been their near constant companion as they grew up. He'd been the same for all of her litters since, and actually every litter the pack had produced. She wanted more for him, though. She wanted him to get to know what it was like to be a dad. How different it was to see your own little creations come to life and grow into real made-up characters in an online wolf RPG.

That's why she kept on smiling at him as he responded, and why she kept staring intently at him as she nodded and said, "Yeah. A big brother." Her tail kept wagging too. She seriously looked a little creepy, but somehow that's what she felt she needed to do in order to prompt him to start the I-wanna-be-a-dad conversation on his own.

 
December 19, 2018, 03:54 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
Mommy's reaction was.. enthusiastic. Very enthusiastic. As a matter of fact, Eljay wasn't sure what to do with it because it was so very enthusiastic. Was he missing something, some clue? Eljay had no idea what was going on inside mommy's head. Was... Was she already pregnant, and was that why she was so very, a lot, extremely excited about the prospect of Eljay being a big brother again?

His eyes widened as he realised this last thing might be the case, and as he had no other logical conclusion to mommy's behaviour he blurted out: "Are you... Am I -- Are you pregnant like.. right now?" Eljay's tail started to wag in excitement and he stood ready to abundantly congratulate mommy as soon as he got the confirmation.
December 20, 2018, 06:49 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Fin's face didn't break until Eljay's question forced her to admit defeat. She had to laugh a little at the enthusiastic way the question exploded out of him, which helped with the disappointment that he hadn't picked up on the breadcrumb trail she had been trying to leave for him (and I mean, HOW is that even possible, she was so clear). She gave an inward shrug over it though and decided to take a more direct route.

"No, no, I'm not," Fin said, shaking her head, "But your dad told me about how you were asking questions about being a dad. Is that something you really want?"

 
December 21, 2018, 03:01 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
"Oh," Eljay said, a little disappointed but not too much (it was a bit early in the season, after all, so probably better to wait a bit longer). "You'll let me know when...? Right?" That way, he could make sure that mommy was safe throughout the pregnancy this year.

Soon the conversation took a turn for the.. well, Eljay wasn't entirely sure it was better or worse. Apparently daddy had told mommy about their conversation, which made Eljay feel a little privacy-infringed. I mean, it was mommy and daddy and he supposed they told each other everything, but Eljay was rather self-conscious about this particular thing and so he felt rather caught out by this.

After a few seconds of not-sure-how-to-deal-with-this Eljay finally replied: "Yes, I... Yes, I did. It's just -- I dunno, I guess it was just silly, because, y'know..." There was probably no way in hell mommy "y'knew" but Eljay wasn't really sure how else to explain in actual words how he felt about it all.
December 21, 2018, 06:14 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Finley nodded to reassure him he'd know when she really was pregnant. The whole world would know immediately, if past experience was any indication. But that was, like, SO not what she cared about right now. It mattered more to her what came next, which unfortunately drew a narrowing of her eyebrows and a bit of a damper to her mood.

"Actually, no, I don't," Fin replied gently, relaxing her expression as she grew resigned to having this conversation again. "Jay, you are a caring, loving, thoughtful young man," she said, "Any girl would be lucky to have you father their children, and any kid in this world would be hella lucky to have you as a dad. No one would be more devoted, and you know I will knock you upside the head if you don't start believing that and believing in yourself."

She'd taken a bit of a stab at assuming what his misgivings in the situation were, but she was a mom. Moms were usually right about these things, even if Fin's weren't. So I'd say her chances are 50/50.

 
January 02, 2019, 06:42 PM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
Even though mommy's voice was sweet, Eljay was startled by the directness of the 'no', creating a knot in his stomach. He listened patiently to the rest of mommy's speech, saying that any girl would be lucky. Though Eljay felt heartwarmed by mommy's words, he also felt pressure weighing on his shoulders to be good enough to live up these expectations. Because he didn't think he was that good. And even if he was, or could be, then he was still awkward as hell -- so how would anyone ever see that he was a good guy?

Thanks, mommy, he murmured shyly, But I just -- How would I ever show anyone? It's... Eljay trailed off, not really sure how to say what he wanted to say and feeling under a lot of emotional pressure.
January 02, 2019, 07:07 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Finley was well aware that her comments had likely been a bit too aggressive for Eljay, but she had never really mastered how to best approach her sensitive son's issues. In the end, all she could do was be who she was and hope for the best. It must've been somewhat the right thing to do. After all, Eljay was still around after four years. That was a good sign, right?

"The right girl will see it," Fin answered, again using her intuition to guide her down a path that could easily have been the wrong one, "You just gotta find the right girl first. Everyone is different and what one person responds to will be different than what someone else does. The right person will respond to you for you in a way they won't respond to anyone else."

She smiled at her son. For a second. Then it kinda faltered. "That really didn't make any sense, did it?" The better answer would've just been ask your dad, but ah well, she was in it now.

 
January 03, 2019, 05:45 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
Eljay listened to what mommy said. Sweet words at first -- the right girl will see it -- but soon he got lost in the tangle of words that mommy threw at him and didn't really know what to make of it all anymore. "Uhh.." It must've been clear to see on his face that he wasn't making any sense of it, he realised at mommy's next comment. Woops. "... No, sorry." He didn't think that it actually didn't make sense, he mostly just thought that he didn't understand it, which were two totally different things.

Anyway -- "How did you and daddy get together?" He'd asked daddy's side of the story but now he wanted to hear from mommy. Maybe he would be able to pick up details that he could use in his own non-existent love life. Eljay had certainly never met 'the right girl' and he wasn't too sure that he ever would.
January 06, 2019, 01:00 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Fin wasn't surprised that Eljay hadn't understood. She smiled at him and considered trying to reiterate, but wasn't exactly sure how to explain it. Fortunately, he spared her the effort by asking a different question instead. This one was.. well, still complicated, but one she knew better how to explain.

"Well, your dad joined the Caldera not too long after we settled there," she said, "And we met not long after he joined. We were friends at first, spent a lot of time together, and ended up falling in love. And then, after a really long time of me denying my feelings and your dad patiently waiting for me to get over myself, we admitted our feelings to each other and have been together ever since."

It was the short version, to be sure. But her heart warmed at the memories.

 
January 08, 2019, 07:11 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
Mommy's story was a bit different from daddy's version. The funniest bit was that mommy said that she had taken some time to admit her feelings to herself, while daddy said the same. Was it possible that two wolves could be in love without both of them realising it yet? That was weird. And a bit of a miracle that it all worked out in the end. What had daddy said again? Something about a big fight?

"It's kind of weird that you can be in love without realising it yourself," said Eljay. He wondered if there was anyone he was in love with without realising it, but he couldn't think of anyone. He didn't ever remember being in love.
January 08, 2019, 08:09 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Fin smiled at her son's comment. It was very insightful, though she knew Eljay was likely oblivious to that. "There's a lot about love that's weird," she answered honestly, "But it's the best thing we do." Love had given her a lot of heartache over the years. Not just romantic love, but her love for her kids, her friends and her family. Love made her hurt when they hurt, and hurt when she lost them. But she couldn't regret a single time she'd loved someone, not even Hawkin.

Okay maybe Hawkin. Since he'd died and all.

 
January 09, 2019, 09:16 AM
Eljay
Firebirds
Honoree
It was a bit of a heartache to Eljay that it was very likely he'd never get to experience love in that way when mommy said that it was the best thing we do. He had the love of his siblings, of taking care of the pups of the pack, of mommy and daddy, of course, but he somehow felt that it would be different if he would have an actual love and if he would have children of his own. Still, it was no use dwelling on that pain really, because he'd only talk himself into a depression and he knew that he should think positively. He had many, many great things in his life, after all.

A silence fell between them in which Eljay thought about these things. It wasn't a bad sort of silence; it was just there, but he was with mommy, so it wasn't uncomfortable in any way. It was good to have wolves in your life who did that to you, where you could just... be.
January 11, 2019, 07:47 PM
Finley
Firebirds
Honoree
Seems like a good place to wrap up :D <3<3<3<3<3

Eljay didn't reply to her, but Fin watched as he looked away with a thoughtful expression. She smiled to herself at the sight. She wondered what was going through his mind at that moment, but assumed it was something self-depricating and negative, so she probably didn't really want to know. At that thought, she leaned forward to nudge his template affectionately before settling in beside him, enjoying their companionable silence.