Sunbeam Lair just dance like you're disappointed in the world

There are few plants that can thrive in the harshness of winter, and even fewer places they may be found — this is something Alarian knows with absolute certainty, though he does not remember where he learned it. Amnesia can be funny like that, he's come to realize. He recalls certain things like the fact that he'd once led a pack, he is a medic by trade, and he has killed another wolf. He does not recall his birthplace, nor his mother's name or his littermates' faces. He recalls past lovers, one night stands and men who were unkind; he does not recall his friends aside Korei, and he wonders if he'd even had any others.
The journey to the cavern is long, and these are the thoughts he keeps for company along the way. As he draws nearer to the entrance he turns his thoughts to his purpose: herbs. One in particular, really. He doesn't want to spend more time away from home than he already has, but he needs something around to treat his packmates over the winter. So he moves swiftly, trying to ignore the familiar ache in what he has quickly deemed his Bad Leg. And it is a very bad leg. 0/10 would not leg again. A huff slips from him as he realizes he's doing a shitty job of ignoring it and he lowers his head slightly, scanning the ground more intently as he searches the cavern.

saarthal hadn't been expecting company - for some reason, she'd never thought that a sane wolf would journey over mountains and still be able to find the cavern. the cavern which she'd declared to be her home approximately a day ago when she'd flung herself in, too tired to go on anymore and found it to be a more than suitable shelter, made much more suitable by the glaring absence of wolf scents. but then again, the newcomer didn't look too sane to her.

"hey," saarthal shuffled forward from the shadows with a tilt of her head and a tentative smile. it wasn't that she'd particularly wanted to talk to the stranger - she'd just been afraid that if he found her sneaking in the shadows later on (if he couldn't find what he was looking for and kept sniffing around) that he'll maul her for being a stalkerish creep. nah. no, thanks. that wasn't really on her to-do list for christmas or maybe in this case the things-i-want-done-to-me list (which, actually, had a surprising number of things on it).

strange day for ali today hahaha. i've wanted these two to meet forever! ❤

A voice startles him from the shadows, soft and feminine, and he flinches slightly as he glances up with ears perked. His eyes widen slightly at the sight of her, breath swiftly exiting his lungs. Petite, fiery-eyed, and swathed in grey: the wolf from his dreams. Except not the wolf from his dreams — he distinctly remembers his own silver spectre being a man, and nothing about this wolf is masculine.
Which makes the strange fluttering in his stomach so very much stranger. Um... hi? He manages, utterly baffled by the sudden sea of conflicting emotion he's apparently been dropped into. He can't recall ever being attracted to a woman — though, there are many things he cannot recall that have surely happened before. It makes him nervous nonetheless; he doesn't even know what to do with a woman, assuming any would ever want him. Well — he does, but he's probably not any good at it.

asdfghjk <33

the boy seemed nervous which was decidedly strange because saarthal thought that if anyone had the right to be nervous, it should be her. cornered in a cavern by a scarred, somewhat pretty, presumably one-eyed man - it was the stuff of everyone's nightmares. well...maybe not everyone - she did have a dream once which ran along the lines of this current situation except the scarred boy was a scarred girl, and the scarred girl was really goddamn cute and badass and into her (which never happened in real life) and the dream then proceeded to go down a very steamy, very hot route. saarth doubted this was going to happen in real life, but at this stage - she wouldn't be surprised if it did. her life had already descended into some fucked up road, it wouldn't make much of a difference if she did end up fucking a random man in a random cavern. 

"you're trespassing in my house," saarthal deadpanned, "you're going to have to leave. unless you have the password. or food." she stared at the stranger for a second longer, wondering if her joke would have any effect on the seemingly stoic dude, before bursting into giggles - yep, she was distinctly delirious now - eyes curving into tiny crescents. she smiled. "i'm joking. although if you do have food for me, i'll give you whatever you want - i'm starving."

Her words catch him off-guard and for a moment he almost believes her, ears lowering just slightly before he catches on to the joke. An amused smile tugs at his features, but before he can respond the girl is laughing and speaking again. She certainly is cute, though he can't help but notice she seems a little strung out. So is the password food? He wonders, grinning a little more widely now. His features have softened with sympathy at the admission of hunger, though; it reminds him of something, though he can't quite pinpoint what it is. I don't have any, but I wouldn't mind hunting for you — if you'd be so kind as to let me stay in your house a little longer.

oh hey - scarred boy had a sense of humour. saarthal's lips broke into a grin and she laughed lightly, quietly shaking the tension out of her shoulders. "i guess so." his reply surprised her though. saarth's request hadn't been serious; she would never expect a random stranger to help her. the notion itself was too strange, too otherworldly. the fact that someone who knew nothing about her would willingly exert energy to help her was just strange. so strange in fact that saarthal gaped at him for a solid three seconds, jaw hanging wide open and copper eyes blinking rapidly. "wait, you're serious?" saarth stammered, too shocked to be embarrassed about her comical display. "dude, you can stay here all you want - you don't have to hunt for me. i wouldn't ask that of anyone. and anyway, this isn't actually my house; i'm just staying here 'cuz i have nowhere to go."

He blinks in response to her shock, a little surprised himself. It wouldn't be any trouble, He says, one ear flicking as he considers the fact that she doesn't have anywhere but here to stay. He almost asks about it, invites her to Easthollow — but they've just met, and oh god, what if it seems like he's trying to... do something? He's never considered flirting with a woman, but now that it's crossed his mind he sees misunderstandings and innuendos lurking around every corner. He's always found heterosexual romance weird, and it's a world he's not sure he wants to step into even for a moment. It takes him a few seconds to realize he's staring — and then all he can do is quickly train his gaze to the ground and stupidly hope she hadn't noticed.

saarthal used to be the kind of girl who believed that people who did nice things and said they didn't want anything in return were genuinely people who did nice things and didn't want anything in return. but recently, her life had descended into some sort of fucked up trash tornado of fuckery and as a result, saarthal no longer had that pure, crystalline view of humanity. pretty scarred boy wanted to help her? saarthal narrowed her eyes, tongue snaking out to lick her lips and prowled forward until she was but a feet away from the stranger. 

"so," she began contemplatively, "are you into me? i'm more of a girl kind of girl, you know, but i'm not averse to hooking up with dudes - if that's what you want." 

a pause. saarthal leaned back, weight shifting and jumped lightly away, a laugh light on her lips. she'll let him decide if she was joking or not and although perhaps to certain extent, she was, fundamentally saarthal really didn't mind. he seemed like a good guy, and yes, she didn't know his name but - well, he wasn't going to kill her...or mutilate her - hopefully - which was good enough for now. gods, her standards have lowered. huh. if scarred boy was a girl, maybe saarthal would've jumped her already and begged for a one night stand. damn. 

well, maybe saarthal was reading this all wrong and scarred dude was really just a nice guy wanted to help out a poor lonely stranger in a cavern. seemed unlikely, though. her experience with dudes haven't been particularly good.

"i still want the food, though."

His eyes widen as she approaches, then further with her words, and his face flushes with heat. He hardly registers anything past are you into me? No, I — well, um, yes but — Wait — a girl kind of girl? He sucks in a sharp breath, trying to compose himself and finding a little more success now that he has this piece of information to focus on. It doesn't even occur to him that she might have been joking. I um, I'm normally more of a... guy kind of guy, myself. I've never really... He swallows, unsure how to put it. Anyway — um, I really was just offering to help, and I wouldn't want to do anything you... don't really want. But he'd be lying if he said the idea of exploring this new attraction doesn't appeal to him, assuming she feels the same — even if he feels a little sleazy now.

ah, so he's kinda gay too. the boy blushed and stumbled over his words and saarthal would really be lying if she said she didn't find it just a slight bit adorable. she wasn't used to seeing guys that way to be honest, let alone one-eyed scarred dudes - those were usually all macho and stupidly brash, she wasn't fond of that - so in a way, this was a new experience. 

"you're cute," saarthal grinned, relaxing her shoulders. "well, regardless of our usual preferences - there's no shame if you wanna, you know-" she waggled her brows at him, and was almost tempted to wink but decided that that might not be the best move, "i haven't gotten laid in a while, anyway, so i'm, uh, all for it. but, only if you want to, though. i'm not into forcing people, it's much more enjoyable when all parties want it."

"if not, i'm always up for food." saarthal bit her lip. okay. guy was cute, adorable but perhaps not the type she'd like to date long term. if he proved good in bed then friends with benefits, or in this case, strangers with benefits would be awesome but...saarthal wasn't really ready for anything serious. not anymore.

His ears flush even hotter at the compliment, unexpected as it is, but he finds her next words even more unexpected. Honestly, he's never imagined himself as attractive at all, but he's always thought women in particular must be rather turned off by him; his lack of interest in them has always seemed very mutual. It's a fact that has never bothered him — but it's admittedly kind of nice to know his interest is returned, especially since they seem to be in the same boat sexuality-wise.
We could do both? He suggests after a moment of hesitation, offering a smile and taking a tentative step forward. He wants to touch her, but his stomach twists at the thought; for some reason he imagines there must be a certain way to touch a woman, and that it must be done with utmost care or the entire world will explode or something. Part of him knows it's ridiculous, but the idea is too deeply-rooted to shake the fear that he'll do something wrong and hurt her, or make her uncomfortable. It's the same basic concept, he reminds himself, reaching tentatively to brush his nose along her jawline if the touch is allowed, it's instinct. Wolves have been doing it forever. The thought would be more reassuring if he didn't spend most days wondering if he'd been left out of some essential Wolfing 101 class as a child, or if he's just missing part of his brain.

his answer was unexpected. she'd pegged him as the type to want something but was, for some reason, too shy or too afraid to do anything about it even if it was shoved right into their face. clearly, she was wrong. he'd stepped forward and although tentative, reached out to touch her. saarth let out a soft noise of pleasure and leaned into his touch, hoping to dissolve his palpable anxiety. distantly, she wondered if this was his first time with a girl; she wouldn't be surprised if it was - it would certainly explain his tentativeness. in all fairness, her own experience with guys were limited as well - as in, she might've done with a dude before but she couldn't really remember what happened; they were both on some sort of drugs then and came out of the experience on the brink of death, delirious and remembering nothing. only difference between the stranger (god, she still didn't know his name - was that bad?) and herself was that she knew how to fake it - the confidence. this might as well be her first time as well. with a guy, at least.

saarthal lingered for a moment before she turned, her body flush against his side as she aimed to lick alongside the length of his jaw. "tell me if you want to stop," she reminded him (and herself) gently. now that they were actually doing this...maybe she was having slight second thoughts. a memory surfaced in the back of her mind - a princess with eyes of lightning blue murmuring the same words into the crook of her neck - saarthal gritted her teeth, forcefully shoving the thought down and began pressing kisses with renewed vigour against the hollow of the boy's throat, if allowed.

wanna fade over this unless saarth hits the brakes? ❤

He swallows hard as the girl emits a soft sound and leans into his touch, struck again by her femininity and how different it is from what he's used to. His heart is racing even before she presses against his side, and he thinks: oh my god, we're doing this. In the back of his mind, he can't help but wonder if this still counts as gay — since they're both still gay, right? Oh god. He tries to focus on what she's saying instead, nodding just slightly right before the lick across his jaw throws all his focus out the window. If there's anything off about her tone, he's too overwhelmed to notice.
But he does notice the way she grits her teeth, and immediately he feels a flush of self-consciousness that doesn't quite abate even with her affections. A soft breath escapes him at the feeling nonetheless, warmth spreading through his stomach. After a few moments he pulls back just enough to turn and preen gently along the side of her neck. He decides to keep things slow and soft, still a little uncertain where they stand, though he's gaining confidence the longer it goes on without any major hitches. Still, he's ready to put space between them the moment she makes any objection known, verbal or otherwise.

sure thing :)

he grew in confidence and saarthal soon felt herself relaxing into his embrace despite the initial strangeness of the coupling. it was different from what she was used to but it definitely wasn't a bad sort of different - it was just new. she braced herself for his weight and allowed the sensations to wash over her like a blanket of numbing euphoria, soft noises of pleasures slipping from her lips carelessly like she didn't care if the entire world stopped and listened. she didn't. still, despite everything, a nagging sense of guit itched at the corner of her mind, a pressing emotion that refused to abate regardless of anything she threw its way. it had no right to be there; she had done nothing wrong, was doing nothing wrong. saarth's eyes fluttered shut and she tried to stop thinking and just enjoy. feel good. and you know what? whoever who'd told her that she couldn't fuck her feelings away was dead wrong.

The strangeness of the whole thing doesn't fade, though it's undeniably a pleasurable experience. He finds himself a far more doting lover with the grey girl than any man he's been with so far, preening and kissing along the back of her neck and between her shoulderblades and following her cues closely. Even in the disorienting aftermath, feeling a little fogged and somehow very far away from the world around him, he fills the time between their finish and their separation with casual affection. It's part attraction and part anxiety, an unshakeable worry that the girl will regret their affair.
When he's finally able to part from her, he suddenly remembers that they haven't even exchanged names. Was that um — did you enjoy it? It slips from him before he even realizes he's going to say anything. Fortunately for him, he's no longer possessing of the mental energy to be mortified over it; all he can muster is mild embarrassment. I'm Alarian, by the way. He adds after a moment, moving to her side with his tail swishing slowly. He doesn't settle down, though — he hasn't forgotten his offer to feed her.

when it was all over and done, the stranger slipped off her back. saarthal, still somewhat hazy, lets out a purposeless whine and leans over to press one last kiss to the boy's cheek - if allowed to do so. though, at his next question, she burst into giggles and promptly collapsed onto the ground, sprawling across the cavern's floor - partly from amusement, partly from sheer exhaustion. saarthal entertained the idea of replying with her signature sarcasm: it was fucking terrible, i'm not even sure you fucked the right hole but decided the boy might not be able to survive it, what with his anxious fragility and so settled with a lopsided smile instead. "it was great, alarian," saarth reassured gently, "did you enjoy it?" and with an afterthought, "oh - i'm saarthal."

The kiss sends a flutter through his stomach, and all he can do is blink when the girl responds to his question with laughter and then collapses. But then a verbal response follows, and he's more relieved than he wants to admit. I did, He confirms with a smile to her returned question, leaning down to lick the top of her head if the touch is welcome. Still hungry? He asks, gaze tracing her features as he commits her name to memory. Saarthal. Not that he thinks he's in any danger of forgetting the girl any time soon — assuming nothing comes along to knock the memories out of him again.

too much her brain screamed as he licked the crown of her head, and she swallowed hard to keep the bile from rising in the back of her throat. it wasn't him specifically; he was sweet. but anything other than casual sex-related affection was not welcome right now, not yet, not since...and maybe it was also because he was a dude. she didn't know. she tried not to know, tried not to think. instead, saarth smiled up at alarian. "i'm always up for food, love," she said and reclined back with an absentminded sigh.

thank you for the great thread ❤ im gonna wrap it up, we should have a new one sometime!

He's oblivious to her turmoil, still a little hazy from their coupling; he wouldn't know what to do with it anyway. Alright, wait here, He murmurs, offering another smile before he turns to leave. He thinks hunting is the last thing he wants to do right now — he could really go for a nap — but finds it surprisingly easy to immerse himself in the hunt. His mind is strangely clear, if a little fragile, and he's rather relaxed when he returns, carrying a fluffy white hare for his companion. The smell of it makes him a little nauseous, as does the lingering taste in his mouth, so he returns to his search for herbs as she (presumably) eats. If his company is still welcome, he spends a little more time with her before departing for his pack, firmly saddled with some Very Big, Very Confusing Feelings for the trip home.