Arrow Lake you're my guard, my guide, you're my life i confide in
you're going to keep my soul,
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#1
Joining 
ingram.

that was his name -- not imrathil -- but as imrathil picked his way down the stony slope, he couldn't reconcile the name with his own found identity of himself. truthfully, what person liked their birth name anyway?

chusi had told him enough that he knew she was not deceiving him; and as much as he wanted to follow her for more, imrathil knew now there was no use chasing the past. he was the same man he was before, and a name didn't define who he was, anyway.

no, imrathil-ingram had something else to chase: not his past, not ghosts of his memories, not his mistakes... but something else -- a family. a woman.

he stopped as the borders became well-defined, the wind picking up and swirling past him. somewhere in here was blodreina, and ingram was going to make things right.
i'm gonna hold a pen
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wearing my dream like a diadem in some better land.
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#2

Aure had stifled both her voice and that momentarily-spirited veneer. This private reclusiveness was sorely familiar to her, and yet, could be deigned as unusual by those unknown; at times, she didn't know quite what or how to feel. So she didn't. Speaking had become minimal, as was her interaction with any visitors who she deigned appropriate to, well, visit.

Whenever she left her thicket, it was only to make water or retrieve anything Mahler had promised her for the day. She'd returned to being the diligent, ever-watchful mother Diaspora had grown to see; in past few sunrises and sunsets had been spent only for her children. Today, though... today, she wished to breathe — to venture, even for a moment.

With the children being sat by Vonnaruil, the early spring afternoon found Aure departing from the iron-clad's claim. Dark lashes had kept her eyes heavy with quietude. A sort of acheless, blank bleak yawned within her, familiar and strange and reaching into each insecurity. It wasn't just the simmering embers of shame  ( which was further stoked by every little trip-up )  but it was a more general, self-critical, encompassing feeling. More mute and invasive within herself.

But, sighting an ink-shrouded male lingering Diaspora's border, the silver heaved herself from her horizonless thoughts, changed course, and began to wind her way towards him. Regardless of how it felt like a deadweight, she made her tail feather above boney hips. "Yes?" Her voice was both docile and orderly, but her eyes were precarious, private, yet not unkindly.
you're going to keep my soul,
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#3
he should have howled; ingram's nose twitched as he disseminated the sundry scents that marked diaspora's claim. one of them, he was sure, was blodreina's -- but he wasn't quite sure what the etiquette was when it came to chasing after your one night stand.

surprise, honey i'm home?

tentative but anticipatory, ingram went to throw back his head -- just in time to see a pale vision filter from the evergreens. he paused and lowered his head, eyes averted from the ghostly waif. damn, he really should have howled.

in response to the subtle edict aure's white tail imposed, ingram's posture folded. his gaze was respectfully averted from the woman, who he found at once both pretty and quite severe. "hi. i'm... i'm looking for blodreina." a flush had risen to his cheeks once her name was spoken, but there was no turning back now -- no matter how uncomfortable the conversation became or what light was shed on their secret tryst.
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With their positions established  ( something she was not fond of establishing )  her ears splayed a little apprehensively, but she let her tail flourish to her hocks all the same. When given his reasoning for being about Diaspora's claim, Aure gave pause; a little more than surprised, in fact. "Blodreina? She dwells here," another hesitant pause, before, "and I... I am a friend of hers. What relations do you have with her, if I may ask?"

As she waited for this male to respond, Aure settled down upon willowy hinds, gaze softening, if only with the faltering doubt that the one before her proved to be... intrusive. If he had any relation to the Blood Queen, then she wondered if he was related by blood, or through some other kind of affinity. When she ascertained him further, only then would she herald for a leader.  ( Well, anyone close to leadership. )
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aurewen's posture softened, but ingram's remained deferential. he had nothing to gain by being arrogant, and everything to lose -- and so, his tail remained wrapped to his stomach and his ears folded to his skull.

the blush returned to his cheeks as aurewen inquired as to their relation. ingram was lucky the black fur that stole across his features disguised the scarlet that presently burned it. he paused, shifting uncomfortably as he wrestled with how to respond.

deciding then it was better all cards be laid across the table, he lifted his gaze to aurewen briefly, answering quietly. "i am a friend, too. i knew her from...uh, before -- is she safe? how come she is not home?"

it was a good thing wolves could not sweat, otherwise ingram would be drenched.
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A scarred brow knit at his unwillingness to relax his own posture, but soon his answer was given; this time, her own hesitance followed his words as she considered with how to respond. Then: “Yes, she is safe, and well, as much as I may presume.” As for why they had left... “Instigations by Drageda’s enemies have brought us here — we departed ze cliffs some time ago, before spring came.”

A memory of turmoil and blood went awash in her mind, but she shoved away the echo of worry. She’d saved a life, and had given birth to ones he loved; she’d led the remaining kru to the south, all out of the tentative trust built from a chance encounter with Stigmata and Takiyoki. That was all — and she could only look forward, now. If I look back, I am lost.

But the fidgeting way which Blodreina’s friend presented himself in was a manner which she knew too well; a manner she still felt towards another. She warded that away, too, as a muscle flickered in her jaw. Aure made a faint, amused curl come to her scarred lips, however. “As her friend, I am sure she will be relieved to know you are quite concerned for her.”
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#7
butts in here

while it feels good to stretch her legs and keep herself as active as she physically can — though it grows harder by the passing weeks as her sides swell — blodreina finds herself a bit breathless and needing to take breaks. that was not normal for the wanlida who was used to being able to run the borders without breaking much of a sweat. it was only a matter of time before her instincts drove her under ground ( much to her horror ) to prepare a birthing den. she resists that for as long as she can but that, like the fact that she couldn't get around quite as effortlessly as she was used to, was growing harder to ignore.

still, she was stubborn and would tend to the borders for as long as she was able. it was familiar and it kept her busy, as did checking on aure and her babes. blodreina'd never taken such an interest in children before but aure was the only one she knew and indefinitely trusted and thus as a fellow nomon often seeks her advice — mostly on this Thing™ happened to me today or I felt this Thing™, is this normal???. blodreina knew warfare ...she did not know motherhood, didn't ever expect to find herself expecting.

there is some surprise as she makes her patrol to scent aure on the air — though surely her babes are old enough now to be left with a sitter for a few hours. beyond that is an additional familiar scent and blodreina makes her way as quick as she can, trying to mask the heaviness in her breath despite that there was no masking the fact that she was pregnant. heavily so, now. it feels like her heart skips a beat when she sees him, her surprise evident. she didn't think she'd ever see him again; which is followed quickly by the guilt that she hadn't tried to find him and tell him. she tries to soothe that by assuring herself that there'd been a lot on her mind and her first priority had been assuring that she had someplace safe to give birth in first.

drageda, though it broke her heart, had not been that safe place. it had stopped being safe when verx had came back with a mangled throat, on the cusp of death and nothing had been done. with heda dead their strength had gone with her and blodreina hadn't felt the same sense of invincibility without her. it's ok aure, she speaks as she arrives on the scene, her gaze then moving from the pale slyph to the scarred father of her children. imrathil, she breathes his name, and feels her own swell of embarrassment as she grows increasingly aware of the fact that she wears her pregnancy. it is as she says, with the death of heda, drageda lost it's strength and the threat of our neighbors became too pressing. i did what i had to. regardless of what anyone thought of her for it. wanlida would never apologize for putting the life of her children before anything else.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
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ingram's head dipped in silent respect as the pale argent recounted their reason for coming inland. he could not blame them, and truth be told, ingram was just happy it appeared they had all left safe and alive.

little did he know the very pack that snarled at drageda's heels had once been his homeland, where he had been birthed -- and had he known, he might have been filled with scarlet shame more insistent than survivor's guilt.

his ears perked involuntarily as he heard some other wolf treading nearby; glancing upwards, he was granted the full vision of blodreina. she was pregnant; her sides had filled by their union, but her lines were no less sharp, her proud features no less eminent -- ingram's features softened, and a quiet joy stole across his dark muzzle.

"blodreina," he murmured, glancing hurriedly from the ground to the wanlida. "i-- i'm sorry." he breathed softly, steeling himself as he looked upon her with something that might have been described as immense infatuation: "you look beautiful." he could not help but speak his heart, even though it made him vulnerable as a sickly and skinned rat. "can you forgive me?" he knew not whether she cherished the new life in her belly nor resented it, but he knew he was responsible -- and hoped she could find some way in which to forgive him.
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#9
happy Sad 400 babyg


Blodreina’s arrival gave Aure a start — the sheildmaiden had taken on more heft, as expecting mothers were wont to do. The words Reina spoke, though, soothed whatever uncertainties that had begun to sprout from this meeting. She looked back and forth between the pair, both parts modest and inquisitive; so, she’d been right. They were familiar with another.

A gladness for them both, despite her despondency, wanted to bloom from her high-walled heart and up into her wan face. It was meant to happen, partially-unbidden as it was... but the hesitant curl of her lips faltered as she noticed the way they gazed upon another. How they breathed for each other. Smitten, limned with courtesy and respect; but intimate all the same.

Invasive is what she felt, too — she should remove herself for these few moments. Her gut still soured at such affections, shameless and unfettered by quarrels and indecision. Before her jaw clenched, she excused herself with a murmur of, “I... will call for ze leaders,” and hoped that her call would mute the sickly green that now festered within her guilty heart.

Aurëwen hastened some whiles away to send up an airy, husking beckoning for @Stigmata and @Mahler — but even one would do. She kept her svelte spine turned from the reunited couple behind her; kept herself far away enough that whatever words reached her would merely be indistinguishable wisps. The silver knew she should be gladdened for them, for Blodreina, especially; this wasn’t the time for her selfish sorrows.

A dismal furrow came to her red brow, though, and she kept cold, starlit eyes on the claim’s horizon. Soon, this Imrathil would be evaluated; whether he was accepted into the Diasporian fold or not, the sooner this ended, the sooner she could hide herself away from the displays behind her; to slumber with her own children and forget everything ill for a few, dreamless hours.
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#10
congrats on 400!

blodreina had not expected their paths to cross again when they'd left that cave but she couldn't say that she wasn't glad that they had. her surprise that he was there on diaspora's borders was a pleasant one. thank you, blodreina murmurs to aure, watching as the pale sylph moves away before her attention returns to imrathil in time to hear him begin with an apology. her brow furrows in response. don't be. i'm not. while it was true that she'd never wanted children — hadn't even really considered it — in light of everything that had happened directly before and after, it wasn't at the top of her list of 'things she'd never expected to happen'. not by a long shot. she'd ran through the emotional gamut of how she felt about it several times but never really straying to one extreme or the other ...but she thinks that perhaps she can't find the joy that a to-be-mother who'd always dreamed of children might feel. then again, it was scary and coupled as it was with being in a foreign pack in a foreign culture with the looming label of natrona probably circling over her head didn't ease any of her uncertainty or fears.

but she hadn't come this far, she hadn't made her choices all revolving around the life that grew within her womb to let fear stop her. maybe, she's considered, motherhood would become her better than she'd thought. she's changed, some. she can see it in herself though whether it's emotions, hormones the knowledge that she would become a mother, or heda's suicide and her decision to leave the only home she'd ever known ...blodreina isn't sure. perhaps it is all of the above.

his compliment touches her and she ducks her head, looking away for a few moments. it was the first time she's even been called beautiful ( that she & phi can recall ) and she isn't quite sure what she's meant to do with it. thank you. she accepts it humbly even if she doesn't always feel beautiful. there's nothing to forgive you for, imrathil. i was a willing participant and —, she draws in a deep breath, shifting her weight ...which felt like it was mostly the babes weight these days. i don't regret any of it. she tells him candidly.

are you going to stay? she asks then, apropos ( admittedly a bit late ) to aure's mention of calling for the leaders. another question burns at the tip of her tongue: that what his joining might mean for them and their children. she'd resolved herself to being a mother alone despite how it might've made her look to the diaspora kru but if he wanted to be apart of their lives, if he wanted to help then she wasn't going to chase him away.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
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you're going to keep my soul,
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ingram was so focused on blodreina he missed the shade of green that fluttered darkly across the scarred sylph's features; as she turned away, tactfully disguising her true emotions, ingram spared her but a glance before turning back to blodreina.

knowing now their tryst had resulted in something more than a simple few days to remember fondly, ingram could not turn away. his breath caught in his throat as the wanlida told him there was little to forgive for. he had feared perhaps she resented him for his part to play, but it appeared she accepted it with a poised grace he could never muster.

when she asked if he would stay, ingram felt his ears fall to his skull. he wished very much so to stay -- if she allowed it. plaintively, he looked past aure, turning back to blodreina with an imploring look. "can i?"
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#12
i got permission to skip aure as she's waiting for the leaders. :-)

as she did the in the cave, she forgets that there's a world outside of imrathil and her as she studies him and the imploring look he's giving her which tells her exactly what she needs to know: that he wants to stay without her needing to ask. their days spent in the cave had been intimate and not just on a physical level: they'd been vulnerable and open with one another ...and though blodreina only knew what it meant for herself: that her to trust another so quickly was unusual and had only happened with one other.

i'd like that. blodreina replies with a firm nod. of course, she could only speak for herself on a personal level: there was still the approval and acceptance of the leaders but her words are a promise. she isn't sure why the leaders would turn him away ...but if they did, for whatever reason, she thinks the wilds are vast and surely there was a pack that would accept their little family.
roangeda · green-lit

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#13
pleased to see aure up and about, mahler visited takiyok's den next. he had resumed his treks between them, wearing a path betwixt the two dens with the padding of his own broad paws. delivering toys to the little ducklings was next upon his agenda, and the gargoyle took seriously the contemplation of what it was each child would enjoy.
ruenna remained upon his mind, and mahler had accepted that she might always lurk in the recesses of his mind, to be drawn forward and contemplated wherever possible. having not seen her in some time, or visited the vale, he could only assume at the positivity of her well-being. it afforded him a small bit of relief, and he departed the winterwhite's den for a cache and a meal.
the delicate geist's voice floated upon over the treeline, and mahler wasted no time in setting a quick gait for himself toward the borders, unfurling the proud flag of his plume as he came upon a strangely wan young man, aure, and the pregnant blodreina. he was perhaps more forward than usual, protective of both she-wolves for different reasons, and settled his hard lilac stare expectantly upon the newcomer. blodreina's affability toward the stranger did not go unnoticed, but for now it was irrelevant: why had he come?
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Mahler’s arrival had the resolute, needle-straight structure of her spine relaxing, and already-splayed ears curved further back in relief and docility. Starlit gaze glanced into the mauve of her fellow practitioner, and she only dipped her chin in greeting. It would be enough.

Finally unalone against the affections behind her, Aurëwen trailed after Mahler. She was sure this Imrathil could explain himself, or that, perhaps, Blodreina could assist his plight. So much of Diaspora had petered away... Isleña, Tashkent, and now, the sentinel named Thorn. More beating hearts would surely be welcome.

For the moment, however, the silver lingered behind, steady and watchful; perched upon a crag to act as momentary warden, and keep an eye out for anyone unknown who thought of invading or interfering.
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'i'd like that.' ingram felt a flood of relief overcome him, sinking into his bones in buzzing reprieve. he glanced to blodreina thankfully, managing a wistful smile just in time for mahler to break on the scene.

old ingram -- the real ingram -- would have recognized the man as the cheerless subordinate in grimnismal, or the wizened doppleganger of his sister -- but ingram now, swept clean of memories dear to him, was struck only with a vague sense of perturbing deja vu as he looked upon the grim features of diaspora's kapitan.

his ears folded back, and he dipped his head in a manner that brought his slim shoulders together and hunched his posture downwards. "hello," ingram murmured, avoiding the hard bite of mahler's gaze. "i'm imrathil -- or ingram, i am told. i came here to.." he felt embarrassed, but not weak -- this, it was right -- "ask blodreina if she would have me in her children's lives. i'd like to live here, if you find me acceptable." he glanced down at the ground, wondering just how bizarre mahler and aure must think this meeting. "i can hunt, and fight pretty well, if that's what you need."
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it didn't take long for aure to return with diaspora's kapitän. blodreina turns to face them at the sound of the approaching footfalls, dipping her head in respect as mahler approaches while aure hangs back. wanlida's weight shifts again as her ankles begin to ache from standing in one position too long — an unfortunate side effect to pregnancy she's coming to learn — listening as imrathil speaks, stating his reason for coming. he states that he can hunt and fight well — which only serves to remind blodreina that in the very near future she would not be able to do much. waddle along the borders and mark them, maybe, but her mobility was already waning and she knows that when she gives birth it'll be some time before she can do much of anything aside from nurse the cubs. with her down it seems logical to her that his skills would come in handy for the pack.

he's their father. blodreina interjects for clarification after imrathil finishes. it hasn't escaped her notice either that to third party observers this whole interaction might seem strange and rather sudden without proper context. it was unexpected — his appearance and his desire to be in their children's lives but in light of everything she'd been through, been dealing with alone — yes, she has aure to talk to about the pregnancy stuff but the separation from her culture, from her entire world essentially was something she felt she shared only with verx and they hadn't spoken to one another since the day they left when they sniped at one another; facing the facts her uncle and her were not close at all — imrathil is a welcomed beacon of light that cuts through the dark, choppy seas she's been stranded on.
roangeda · green-lit

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the entire situation struck mahler as suspicious. how had this man managed to show up a scant handful of weeks before his children were due? had he followed them from the coast, and if so, why? however, his mind worked quickly, considering why one would go to such pains. tail flicked as he glanced to blodreina, eyes lingering on her rounded sides, and thought of the ones they had lost. thorn especially had struck the gargoyle harshly, and he oft looked to the borders to see if the man would return.
diaspora was in need of more wolves, and mahler found little reason to turn this mysterious newcomer away. "we have room for those who vill contribute," he intoned, though he did not yet offer imrathil entry into their lands. "no matter vhat has been said here today, you have a good deal of trust to earn here, and i vill be watching to see that you do."
there were pups in diaspora now, and more to come; whatever genes this man would contribute did not absolve him of his need to become a true part of the pack. mahler was silent then, waiting dourly for the other's reply.
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shoves in lame post bc i totally didn’t forget abt this thread


With the verdict reaching its peak, Aurëwen stepped down from her post and sidled up alongside Blodreina, still watchful but not as grim as the gargoyle who readied to levy out his decision. Perhaps she was the only one who felt this situation was far from abnormal? Of course, it was certainly startling, but she understood Imrathil’s bold sheepishness.

Mahler was right, though. Contribution was paramount here; the realm of Diaspora sought to that, even encouraged such in daily practice. It wasn’t so much pressured as it was common forwardthinking and sense — you lick my back, I lick yours. Well... something like that. Either way, she remained calm, presiding over whichever direction this took off in.
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ingram's chin was canted to the ground as he felt mahler's sunless gaze sweep him, apprising him in moments. he stole a glance to blodreina as she interjected on his behalf, reassured by her bluntness.. meanwhile, he had been feebly searching for words..

aurewen moved to flit besides the gargoyle, and ingram could not help but feel he was before stone-faced juries, awaiting his judgment. he was earnest to prove his worth - both to blodreina and to diaspora, but it was not for diaspora that ingram was here.

he bit back that comment, looking upon mahler in a subservient manner. he had not missed that the invitation lingered just out of reach, yet to be offered. "i will contribute," he looked upon mahler meaningfully, to communicate he was genuine. "but you will see. i will show rather than tell, do rather than promise." words were meaningless when the actions did not follow through, and ingram had very little intention of not following through.
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#20
blodreina is quiet, contemplative as mahler speaks to imrathil or ingram — she would have to ask him, later, which name he preferred to be called — telling him that he had a good deal of trust to earn. she understands the hesitation. he is a stranger at their borders, first, and second, the father of cubs about to come into the world separate from their mother. she doesn't know if she's right or not, but would this have been drageda and wanlida would've been more than a keepsake she had no right to keep for herself, blodreina might've perceived him as a potential threat. she'd have been suspicious too.

blodreina shifts her weight again when her ankles start to ache on the side she put most of it on, finding relief for a short time. she had to give major kudos to women who had litters year after year. it was a lot of work, a lot of rampant emotions and mood swings, there was the morning sickness and then the increased appetite, the aches and swelling in time with the increased weight ...and then there were times where they'd move and it felt like they'd drop kicked her in the stomach or the ribcage.

she feels a small kick just then and she winces slightly, as imrathil assures mahler that he'll contribute. blodreina's still not used to the feeling of them moving around though it's a relief to feel all the same. it assures her that they're alive and growing. she looks to imrathil then before she looks back to mahler, awaiting the kapitän's final judgement.
roangeda · green-lit

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#21
last for me <3

while mahler remained implacable, he was soothed in some way by ingram's show of good faith. it would be good to have another strong creature about while the pups were young, especially if it was over blodreina's that he would watch. while the children belonged to diaspora, they also belonged to those who had beget them.
"velcome to diaspora," the gargoyle murmured, stepping aside to admit the new geist into the fold. "i vill leave you vith blodreina, to show you about." imagining that they had a great deal to speak of, the shadowpriest turned smartly and lowered his muzzle in an invitation to aure, inviting her to accompany him on the remainder of his patrol before he set off in the direction he had come.
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#22
same! kisses u all


Regardless of whatever amateur envy the silver felt, she was gladdened to hear that Ingram was now welcome into the Diasporian fold — all the more better for him to be involved in Blodreina’s life and the lives of their soon-to-come pups.

So she gave the wanlinda a knowing, impish glance  ( despite the wan face ),  intending to hear all about the ravenly father of the children, before primly stepping down from her side to mosey alongside Mahler at his invitation.
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#23
the gargoyle at last relented, stepping aside in a gesture that signified ingram's acceptance. all decorum in that moment was lost; with a joyous surge, ingram bounced to blodreina's side and a stupidly wide grin spilled across his features as the two (far more mature) diasporans left them for their own private walk. 

"first thing i will contribute," ingram murmured with a grin to blodreina "is my winning, spectacular personality." he couldn't help but feel frolicsome -- for so long ingram had been untethered and without purpose -- he hated it. "second thing i will contribute, is a meal for lady blodreina. what are you in the mood for?"
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#24
mahler welcomes imrathil to diaspora and blodreina smiles at him as he crosses the threshold of diapsora's territory and moves to her side. good, she murmurs with a soft laugh when he mentions the first thing he'd contribute was his personality. she studies his side profile for a moment as they walk, distracted from the purpose of the walk in the first place, marveling over the fact that she still finds him attractive and that she still wants to be near him even though her heat cycle is over. that whole experience had been a wild ride from start to finish, truth be told; and though there's a deep part of blodreina that wishes she'd never have to experience it again she has to face, at some point or another, the knowledge that now that her heat cycles have started they were unlikely to end until she grew too old to reproduce.

his question brings her out of her wandering thoughts and her staring and she re-directs her gaze to their path, contemplating it. maybe fox? if not rabbit will do fine, thank you. she'd never really had a taste for fox before — couldn't stand them after freyja and her chased one out of sleeping dragon years ago for trying to steal from their caches — but it was one of those foods she'd started craving out of the blue as of late.
roangeda · green-lit

trigedasleng
— your hands are wet with the blood
of an empire. you lick it off.
you're going to keep my soul,
it was yours to have long ago
567 Posts
Ooc — lauren
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#25
fading <3 thanks all!

ingram was pleased to hear the soft chuckle elicited from blodreina; it buoyed his spirits more than being accepted into diaspora had. as pathetic as it sounded to him to say, he was elated to be here -- he would have, sappy as it was, been very sorry to be turned away from both diaspora and blodreina.

marching ahead, ingram faltered as blodreina mentioned fox. "fox?" he had never eaten fox himself -- but, if his lady demanded it...

"fox it is." ingram concluded, bumping blodreina affectionately before he surged ahead of his gravid companion, following his nose and hoping beyond hope he would be able to actually find fox today..
i'm gonna hold a pen
while you drag my arm across the page.