Arrow Lake clanging shields, companions tramping, bronze prows, men in bronze,

for @Aurëwen

though the evening was warm a small drizzle cycled on and off making the air muggy. blodreina, pregnant and hormonal as she was, was not enjoying the mugginess. or the on and off rain. either rain or don't rain, she thinks as she casts a withering look skyward. weather had never really bothered her much ...but then again she's never been seven weeks pregnant either. it felt like with each day her mobility waned despite her stubbornness and want to waddle the borders anyway. her productivity isn't what it used to be but at least if she's territory marking ( there's no shortage of urine, at least ) she's doing something. part of her has begun to try to pull her towards finding a suitable den to give birth in. she finds herself, subconsciously, seeking about the territory for one and has to reroute herself. not yet, she tells herself ...but she was running out of her allotted 'not yet's' rather quickly. if she estimated correctly she had about three more weeks before she gave birth.

she lets out a small huff and trudges forward, her ears dropping and her expression souring as it begins to drizzle again.

omg thats exactly the weather is here tonight i Hate It

Whether Ingram’d been initiated into the Diasporian fold or not probably will be tbh Aurëwen had taken it upon herself to lightly scour the borders, a reprieve following her own water breaks. It’d... been the first time she’s ever recruited someone, actually; even though Mahler had been the final verdict, it was she who’d brought notice to it. Should she feel proud, or indifferent? Both? Hm.

Aure wondered what the cliff-kru and herself had looked like upon the borders, themselves. Wondered how wan and desolate they must’ve seemed and had definitely felt. Wondered why this humid, taunting weather wouldn’t make up its goddamned mind. It really wasn’t that deep — either be sunny, or rainy, and let those on the world move on in peace.

By the time she sighted Blodreina, her mood had soured just as much as the wanlinda’s had; there was a pout to her stubborn jaw; an irritable furrow to her scarred brow. Anyone back at the encampment would know the she-wolves were waddling about, so there was no need to fret at anything but the rain. “Reina,” came the meager, grumpy greeting. “...I miss winter, now.”

though blodreina knows that aure and verx's children are old enough to be left with a sitter for periods of time, giving the pale slyph a chance to stretch her legs, just like on the borders with imrathil she still feels startled to find her out and about all the same. her surprise, however, is temporary and both flits upon her expression and is gone within seconds. hei, blodreina greets aure in return as the pale woman approaches. the trigedasleng is effortless and blodreina doesn't bother to stop it. it was too much apart of her to try to change her preference. her children would know it, too. she hadn't left drageda because she wanted to split from the only culture she'd ever known ...she'd left because her home no longer felt like home nor did it feel safe without a heda to lead it.

aure states that she misses winter and blodreina shoots her a quizzical look. sure, she minds the damp heat but she assumes it's only because she's heavy into her pregnancy and she minds a lot of things she'd never minded before. i can't wait for summer, blodreina admits, on the opposite spectrum of aure's preferences. or at least until these children are born. slowly but surely, blodreina was getting to the point that there were times she really wanted them to pop out. so she could be mobile and spar again because damnit she really missed it now that she could temporarily no longer do it.

Anything was better than this muggy, indecisive day, so while she preferred the honest, no-nonsense chill of winter, it’d been some time since she’s experienced summer. Aurëwen was sure that the summers in Teekon’s northernly regions were short — but, compared to the fleeting season in her Rhaesuial  ( the true North, where Teekons were considered her South )  Aure unashamedly viewed the summers here to be longer. Falling into step with Blodreina, “I do look forward to ze summer, I suppose. As long as ze majority is not so... humid,” she grumped, white ruff shuddering.

At the restless note in the wanlinda’s voice, Aure spared her a quick, thin smile of solace. Even with her own children out, and as much as she cherished time spent with them, her nerves remained alight. In this, she felt blameless; she despised pampering, and ever moreso despised lying about for a month-and-half. At least she held herself to her faults and did her best to work through them, take them in stride from now on.

The silver thought back to the Trigedasleng — she hadn’t quite considered if her children would grow with only the common tongue. Aside from the frequent give of bounkola, she hadn’t really heard the rough-hewn language in quite some time. But if Vercingetorix wished to teach them his language, then it was fine with her ...but as it was, whatever rickety terrain they stood on now hadn’t allow them to converse about tongues, or even anything domestic or general at all  ( or so she thinks. )

Whenever the time came for reconciliation was elusive; in the meantime, perhaps she could try to learn some Trig on her own? From the clumsy wording of the tidbits she’d picked up, Aurëwen was... horrendous starting out, really. Either way, “Would you... mind teaching me this, er, Trig? I’d meant to learn some on ze cliffs, but...”

But... they’d had to take leave, while the rest of Drageda had journeyed north, and she’d put the idea from her mind. Until now. At any rate, what good would it do if she couldn't understand either of the last kru here? And, should she improve, perhaps having another to speak Trig with  ( however horrendously )  could give them all more time to spend with another and bond together in such an unfamiliar claim.

the inquiry to teach aure some trigedasleng was a bit surprising considering that it didn't seem relevant anymore given their departure from drageda ...but blodreina reasons that it's a huge part of verx's life and perhaps aure wants to connect with the father of her children on that level as well. maybe trigedaselng was a relic now ...like latin — a dead language — but blodreina was determined that her children would be able to speak it fluently. their roots would always be trigedian regardless of how the wolves of her culture chose to label her. they would be raised to know her ways even if it doesn't match with diasporas. it feels loose enough that blodreina doesn't think it should be an issue ( but, honestly, when has anything being an issue ever stopped her before? ).

of course. blodreina replies, though she finds it a bit ...suspicious that aure does not ask verx, the longer she considers it. i don't mean to pry, blodreina begins — and it's true; she is much more concerned with things relating to her ( as selfish as that is ) — and i have no problem with teaching you ...but why ask me? why not ask verx? she isn't aware that the pair are on a rocky terrain in their ...well it was an unorthodox definition of 'relationship'. last blodreina heard the pair weren't even mates.

not that, mind, she's one to talk. ingram's appearance in diaspora is probably just as similar and unorthodox. they weren't mates but ingram was the father of her children ...still, she'd long since expected verx and aure to take that final step and settle down forever ago considering how inseparable they'd appeared to be to her.

A smile came to her lips at Reina’s acquiescence, and the slumbering, studious mind of hers roused in preparation for whatever sorts of words were to arrive next. Instead, once Blodreina finished, the gleam pressed thin and fainted into a paltry echo of itself. A ghost curled up in the corners of her lips. It was a highborn’s smile; the reluctant sort which only remained out of courtesy. ”We... there is...” Argent eyes eluded the words when the rest of Aurëwen could not, a readying intake of breath following. In this moment, she envied gazes, and the blameless emotions they could hold.

The green-seer shivered, and knew it wasn’t only from the rain. She didn’t want to know what belied in her own gaze, but rather than prolong this dance around reasons, she lented, ”We have had a quarrel, again. A fortnight ago, I went to ze Lair with ze purpose of foraging, and ended up fighting to get them, instead.” And even if spring had made her fevered and foolish and rather off-kilter, the fault was still with her. The muscles in her back rippled, tensed, for whatever onslaught Reina might dole out. ”I thought of why I’d set out that day, but... I didn’t think of ze children, of Verx, if I’d gotten my neck snapped. I didn’t, and now...”

The meager smile faltered entirely, then, and it took everything within her to keep step with Blodreina — to not take flight, to not be so damn flimsy. Salty-stupid tears that she hadn’t shown to anyone in weeks  ( aside from her little sun-and-stars )  crested in the cradle of dark lashes, and Aure made do with a sniffle and a diligent swab at her muzzle, her eyes. ”And we haven’t spoken since.” And there was nothing more she despised, these rifts that only made it all more entangled between them.

It seemed that Mahler hadn’t been the only one to mistake why Verx lingered at her side — only to help raise the children, just as he’d said — and she couldn’t meet Blodreina’s gaze. She knew even less of loving than of how to properly mother; knew even less of how to properly reign; and all of which she felt utterly inept in. She understood that love wasn’t simply giving your heart and vowing it to another; it was an action, not only in sweet nothings. Love was a promise of responsibility and endless understanding, too.

And hadn’t she been industrious in the tending and adoring of her children? At the very least, tried to be? ”Now, I look ahead. I try to. I... I would ask Verx to teach me, this Trig, but...” Aure was exhausted to her marrow, but her toiling for Dragomir and Isilmë was meant achingly from her heart and soul. She loved them as much as she loved herself — follies and faults be damned. She loved Vercingetorix with every breath she took; missed him, and sorely missed whatever intimacy they might’ve just found. But... ”Perhaps you can tell me how to make amends to him in his tongue,” the silver scoffed, a flicker of an inscrutable smile as she finally looked back to Blodreina.

blodreina is quiet as aure admits that her and verx had a quarrel, not failing to miss the pivotal again; and though she does not see it there's a disapproving twitch of her lips as aure says she went foraging and ended up fighting for what she'd gotten, not thinking about what could've happened to her. it was careless, she'll be the first to agree. ironic, that blodreina of all living creatures should consider that even she would stop and think about her children and their dependency on her before she charged headlong into battle. turns out the blood queen had more of a maternal instinct in her than she'd ever thought she would. that was reckless. the wanlida points out, wanting to be transparent with her friend ...but it was done and she is not here to lecture aure for that mistake passed ( especially not when verx has already done so ).

and we haven't spoken since. she finds this strange. was that two stubborn personalities refusing to be the first to apologize? or ...something else? couples fought ...but in blodreina's experience letting things fester like this wasn't healthy. pretending that the problems would just resolve themselves was likely what had brought heda and wildfire's relationship to an end; she assumes — she'd never know for sure now. do you think it's wise to let all that fester? from what i've seen that only ends in continued misunderstanding and heartbreak. and look where it'd taken heda. to her untimely death.

look, i'm no expert on relationships — far from it, actually. but it seems like there might be something more than just upset at you fighting for food at play here. i mean, she was fine, obviously, and it was ok to be a little upset over but to not speak at all for 2 weeks? two weeks is a long time not to speak to each other over such a small thing and to be absolutely frank with you aure, i don't think me teaching you how to apologize to him in trigedasleng is going to fix ...whatever's really going on. you two have something big you need to work out. and she was afraid if they continued to ignore whatever the elephant in the room was with them would only end in heartbreak for one of them ...or both of them, perhaps.

Aure quelled whatever indignant protests alit on her tongue, since a friend was only trying help, and remained quiet throughout Blodreina’s tirade. She couldn’t resist halting, though, and scrunching her scarred face in a very bewildered manner. ”I was only joking, at ze... stupid apology,” the words cut themselves off into a weary sigh, and with a shake of her head, she contemplated the rest of what Reina said. Something more? What could there possibly something more than him being upset with her for leaving their children motherless? For... for...?

But, no, she did not think it was wise to let whatever this was fester; no, she didn’t want this prolonged misunderstanding between them  ( especially on her );  yes, all of this was entirely reckless, both her scuffle and now this pretend. ”This... situation does not feel small to me. Maybe it does for more practical minds — you mess up, and you make up, and you move forward. I have been trying to adapt to that mindset.” But she felt more than she thought. So, with a slump of shoulders, she resumed walking.

Because the last time this festering had happened  ( several days, at most ),  she’d been the one to seek him out. Not to apologize, not at first... it’d been her getting worried of the first kicks in her belly. I’ve loved them since I felt them, Verx’d admitted to her. And how couldn’t he?

But, enough of her. She gave a faint shake of her head and ruff, and though her expression was forlorn, she tried to smile for Blodreina, at least. ”How are things with you and Ingram, though? Ah, Imrathil?”

blodreina walks in quiet rumination as aure explains that the situation doesn't feel small to her either; not offering any more opinions on the pale sylph's relationship with her ( blodreina's ) uncle. she's only a third party observer ...and she isn't close with verx enough to say for sure that he didn't seem the type to 'settle down' even if he had kids. the wanlida has a suspicion, of course, but she doesn't dare give voice to it to aure. they are ...friends, blodreina thinks; and while the wanlida has always valued honesty ( brutal or not ) it is easy to see the emotional toll this has taken on the pale sylph. she has already said what she feels comfortable saying and the rest, well, the unlikely couple would either work out on their own ... or they wouldn't.

the conversation shifts to her and ingram and blodreina supposes it was only fair, considering. she isn't exactly sure how to answer — other than 'good' which seems lacking; but the truth is blodreina isn't sure what to consider them. a family, sure ...and maybe that's as simple as it needed to be. blodreina's in no hurry to rush her and ingram's budding relationship into any kind of box. good, the wanlida ends up answering simply anyway.

Only good? The silver usually isn’t one to gossip, but the simply simple statement still sent her for a bit of a stumble. ”Good, as in, he has returned to you and your almost-here baby, and that is all?” An old, impish light returned to her eyes, flickering as she put her own romantic ordeals aside and instead appraised the vague situation. ”Or... good, in that he treats you like ze sea queen you’ve always been?”

And Aurëwen usually isn’t one to pry  ( well, not anymore, anyways )  so she backs off with the teasing little tidbit of, ”Does he grovel?” scarred lips pursed and attempting to appear absolutely unassuming. Argent eyes couldn’t help but foxtrot over to Blodreina’s after a while, though, and she dropped the act and grinned dickens-like; looking just like the snow fox someone had once accosted of her.

aure doesn't seem satisfied with the vague answer blodreina'd given her, because blodreina isn't one to gossip, least of all about her own life, and because given the tense situation between aure and verx it felt a bit tactless to talk about her and ingram ...even if they'd never cemented what they were ( if anything ) aside from the obvious co-parents. blodreina is quiet for a bit as they walk, though undoubtedly mulling over the questions, if only to offer it as a distraction for her friend. all things considered, ingram treated her very well, especially when she could've been a one night stand to him and nothing more ...but even as she thinks it, what she knows of him so far: that thought does him no justice. no. he was not the kind of man to hit it and quit it and she is both equally glad and feels a bit guilty about it despite that their intimacy had been wholly mutual.

...both. blodreina decides after a soft hum. maybe once blodreina meant something ...but it is just a name... the name of a natrona. i am no more a queen than i am a dragedan anymore. and maybe not everyone would see her as that way but she does not fool herself by thinking that there weren't others that definitely would. not that i was ever a queen. her mouth twists around the word almost as if it were an insult. they would see her as a traitor ...regardless of how sound her reason; and that was fine. blodreina was very unapologetic about her decisions — always had be and always would be. i am a ...ghost, trying to adapt to the belief that in order to belong anywhere i must first belong no where. and that was a lot harder than she'd ever thought it to be ( not that she ever thought she'd find herself leaving drageda ).

blodreina feels her brow furrow and her head turn sharply in aure's direction as she contemplates the pale sylph's next question, trying to decipher why the assumption that ingram even needed to grovel at her feet stirred something hot and angry beneath her breast. surely, aure meant nothing by it and yet that didn't seem to matter ( thanks pregnancy hormones ). he has no need to grovel ...and i wouldn't let him anyway. regardless of what we are or are not, him and i are equals. ( well, according to the diaspora ranks she's the one that should be groveling, kek ).

Aurëwen listened quietly, and all that was being said made her smile faint — not entirely, but enough to make it evident she truly was listening. There was natrona, again, that traitorous title that the ivory mother wouldn’t ever fully understand. To say something such as ”You are still Drakru, no matter what,” might not be something Reina would appreciate in this moment; especially when she continued to bite out her own tirades, this time about Ingram.

Melancholy distraction or no, it was just that: a distraction, at least for a little while. But the silver actually cared for what Blodreina had to say, all the same; including Blodreina herself. So all Aure could really figure was that she could listen, even when the silence eventually lapsed between them, just as the drudgy rain that set their day’s mood.

When all was said and done, the silver lingered alongside the wanlinda for as long as she dared  ( safety precautions, of course ). But when the time came for nursing her own bairns, Aure parted ways, and hoped to reconvene with her warriorsome friend soon.

Equals, they were all, in this — trying to live for once, instead of merely surviving. To live for the lives that now came to them, and to live through them as well.

last one from me!