Hoshor Plains and i'm sorry that i lie when i talk to you

@Evergreen ❤ forward dated a few days

He hasn't returned. He still can't quite bring himself to turn back toward his pack, his temporary home, unable to bear the thought of facing @Midar after his absence. No explanation seems good enough, rational enough — likely because there isn't a good or rational reason for it at all. He simply can't, not when the thought of returning feels so much like suffocating. So he's lying here instead, a broken thing sprawled out like a corpse. His mouth feels dry, throat sore, eyes crusted and gummy, coat a ragged mess over a too-thin frame. He's not sure how long he's been here, not anymore; days, perhaps. Maybe he will die here.
Maybe he'd deserve it.

Each day passes akin to a dream; swept into this slumber ever since he lost his sister, Evergreen finds himself searching. It's a fruitless adventure. Perhaps that is why he drifts from Easthollow, leaving behind the few faces that have become familiar over the last three months for the Wilds again.

Mountains broke into a seemingly endless plains. Spring brought about growing grass, and the promise of migrating food. Yet no matter how much Evergreen's body hungered, he couldn't bring himself to eat the hare in his jaws. Nauseous, almost.

He wanders instead, and isn't paying close enough attention. Not until he gets too close. His one good eye barely spots the body strewn out and his heart seizes; vivid imagery of Thistle's mangled body flash before him. Before his mind catches up, the bear reacts. The hare is dropped, left in the dust as he approaches swiftly. 'Please be okay.'

The bear slows his approach late, but he pulls on the brakes fast enough to not topple into the grey and cream male. Eyebrows furrowed, he hovers nervously, and a breath of relief only exhaled once he notices the steady rise and fall of the stranger's torso. Sir? Evergreen questions softly.

The rapid approach of another is hardly cause for concern. He stirs only barely, tail twitching and smacking against the ground briefly in acknowledgement as the wolf abruptly halts near him — too close for comfort, but he can't bring himself to care. He sighs through his nose, head lifting briefly when the wolf addresses him. The male's striking eyes catch his own tired gaze for a moment, and he lets his head drop again, trying and failing to force words from his throat. But the only thing that comes is a faint whine, soft and melancholy.

Alive.

Evergreen's heart pounds; the relentless drumming of it pulses in his ears. Whatever fear rising in his throat is swallowed down, pushed aside in favor of roaming his imperfect vision over the stranger in search of any physical injury. It is obvious the other is beyond exhausted. Appearance lacking any care, and Evergreen thinks of how less he's cared for his own.

The stranger's head rises, and he looks as if he might speak. Yet soon enough, it is as if any strength left is taken from him. A gentle whine escapes Evergreen, following the male's own.

Are you hurt anywhere? He doesn't see any injuries, and doesn't smell any blood, but he has to make sure.

The stranger lingers, echoing his own whine, and he shivers a little at the sound. He sucks in another breath at the question that follows, wondering if he can answer. He knows he should; the answer sits at the tip of his tongue, and for a moment he almost thinks it will come — but it doesn't. All he can manage is another whine, eyes squeezing shut against the sudden hot sting of tears. Too useless to even accept help, he thinks; maybe he'd be better off dead.

Round ears fold backwards as no answer comes; a response is given only in a parroted whine. His heart crumbles the moment tears begin to fall from the other's eyes. Evergreen wants nothing more than to offer comfort, to... touch and make sure he is okay.

The bear twitches, feeling the restless urge to pace. Yet he knows that won't help the situation in the least. Instead Evergreen circles, and moves to lay next to the crying male. Ironic how they fit, so neither are on the other's blind side. There is enough space between them that Evergreen doesn't touch, of course, but close enough that the silent offer is there.

You can, uhm... Evergreen averts his gaze shyly, cheeks hot under his thick coat. Lean on me if you... uh, want. Regardless, the bear could at least remind him that he isn't alone by staying at his side.

He half-expects the stranger to leave; he wouldn't blame him if he did. At this point, he's not sure he'd even care. But the massive wolf circles him instead, and his heart suddenly skips over itself when the male settles next to him without a word. He tenses, pausing over the offer that follows, and he thinks of Midar. His lover would be furious, he knows, to find him snuggling up to a stranger. But Midar isn't here — and truth be told, he's never needed it more than he does now. He shifts slowly, hesitation thick in each movement of his delicate limbs as he leans uncertainly into the other's thick coat. The relief is immediate and overwhelming. For a moment, his tears intensify, air leaving his lungs in a quiet, halting gasp. He hesitates, frozen for a beat — and then he presses closer, burying his face in the stranger's fur without a single thought to spare for propriety or fidelity.

Admittedly, Evergreen assumes the offer would be thrown out the window. It's part of why he makes sure to mind his own space, and wonder how Sindri braved snuggling up to him without hesitation. Perhaps it's the situation, and had the stranger been bleeding out, maybe Evergreen would have acted differently.

He doesn't have much more time for his mind to wander, however, for he hears and then feels the shift. For a moment, his muscles tense—still emotionally raw and physically scarred—and he forces himself to relax, to melt into the shared touch. His gaze stays elsewhere, roaming the grassland as if it were more interesting when it is anything but.

It's to keep from intruding further on the private emotions the small wolf cuddled up to him unleashes. He wants to comfort the cries, but there is only so much the bear knows he can do. Evergreen cannot help, however, turning back to him once he buries his tear-stained muzzle into the thick of his brown fur. A soft, wordless noise escapes him, in an attempt to soothe.

'It'll be okay,' lingers unspoken on the tip of his tongue. 'You're safe.'

The soft sound almost slips past him, consumed as he is by his own raging emotions, but it registers distantly after a moment. I'm sorry, He's speaking before he even realizes he wants to, muffled by chocolate fur, and his voice breaks on the second word. He doesn't know if he's apologizing for being so bold, or for crying on him, or for not answering him before — probably all of it, really. Not that he can be bothered to right any of his wrongs; instead, true to his nature, he tucks himself closer in an attempt to lose himself entirely in the stranger's fur. He's fairly certain it's possible, all things considered.

The apology surprises him, most of all. Perhaps that is just what this man is made of, but the unexpected isn't unwanted by Evergreen. It's the first time in over a month that he feels grounded, as if he is himself, laying here in attempt to soothe a stranger from hurt he doesn't know anything about.

It's... okay, the bear says, awkward as ever when it came to conversing. His tone, however, genuine and sure. After all, it was him that offered. I, uh, don't mind.

The other brings himself closer, and Evergreen decides to be brave, too. He hesitates at first, before he slowly moves to rest his chin overtop the grey wolf. Gentle, and cautious. Is this okay? He asks a moment later.

Some of his anxiety is soothed by the man's reassurance, but he can't bring himself to speak again. Instead he goes still, sucking in a sharp breath when the stranger starts to move and exhaling slowly when he settles. It feels far different from Midar's touches; gentle and hesitant, and not at all like his husband's possessive urgency. He likes it more than he'd realized he would — but it still takes him a moment to find his voice again. Yeah, He murmurs, voice soft and very slightly slurred with lethargy. It's... nice. Heat creeps up his ears at the admission, but he's too tired for true embarrassment — and it is nice.

Evergreen is oblivious at first; his sole focus on making sure the man is okay and comforted. It's only when the other answers him that, he, too, grows embarrased. When was the last time he's been this close to someone by choice? Certainly Sindri had cuddled up next to him, for days, but Evergreen wasn't aware of that like he is now. His round ears flicker; a nervous smile on his dark muzzle. There is no doubt that the man could hear the relentless thump of his heart; beating strong and fast.

Uh... good, he says, swallowing thickly and smacking himself mentally at the brief urge to mother him more with a kiss. What's... what's your name? Evergreen manages to ask, and adds on his own; Mine's Evergreen.

Under different circumstances, he might be observant enough to notice the other's nervousness — but in this moment, he remains oblivious to any tension in the air. He's too startled by the question; he hadn't really thought about the fact that they haven't even exchanged names yet. Alarian, He offers quietly, wondering if Evergreen is some kind of reference to his eye color. He's too tired to ask, though, so he simply falls silent again.

Alarian, he parrots, It's... nice to meet you. 'Despite the circumstances,' Evergreen almost adds. Instead, he keeps it to himself. Maybe it's strange to be glad it was him, instead of someone else—like the monster that took his sister—that found him. Maybe it would have been better if a medic did. Evergreen tends to overthink.

Uh, he says when the silence lingers, and scrambles to keep talking. His chin stays tucked over the smaller male. Are you hungry? Part of him wants to stay like this, cuddling with someone—with Alarian—but the other wants to help him get back on his feet, and he knows food always helps him out... even if Evergreen sometimes wants to deny it.

As sweet as Evergreen is, Alarian finds himself tiring quickly of the questions. He doesn't want to exchange pleasantries or eat or — anything, really. No, His voice is barely above a whisper, still muffled by fur. I just want — What does he want? To feel wanted, perhaps, while he rots in a sad pile, though he imagines it must be difficult to want the wreck he's allowed himself to become. Memories of Midar flash through his mind, and a sob tears itself from his throat without warning. He only tries to speak for a moment longer before he gives up entirely, deciding the other probably won't be surprised at this point.

Okay, so not the best plan.

Round ears twitch, heart strings pulling as Alarian's voice is barely audible. Rejection is clear, regardless, in the way the small male doesn't move from being tucked at his side. Evergreen keeps cuddling, chin resting over him and determined not to move unless the other wants him to.

A soft coo rumbles in his throat, and hesitantly, the bear gives in. He places a kiss on Alarian, and then another. 'It'll be okay,' he wants to tell him, because no matter what happens in the future Alarian is still here. But he doesn't know his situation... doesn't know why he is so upset, so Evergreen keeps quiet and holds him close.