Sun Mote Copse Make it a point to tell me when you get to the end

His reply made her lips twitch. Of course, he had been very young then and there had been nothing romantic about the declaration. Still, it was kind of heartwarming to look back on their intertwining lives. How many mates could say they'd known one another all their lives?

Hearing Eljay speak of Heda made Wildfire's heart thump strangely. It was odd to look back on that time of her life. She had spent years beside Thuringwethil. Yet she had not been by Heda's side when her life had ended, nor would the commander be at hers. It left a bittersweet taste in her mouth, though she did not regret their time spent, nor the fact that she was with Eljay now, and that he would be the one to hold her hand on her deathbed.

"How different life would've been, if we'd paired up then or even earlier. I like to think everything happened exactly how it was supposed to, though," Wildfire murmured, stretching out a slightly quaking foreleg to grasp the stone and pull it closer, tucking it against her chest, treasuring it.

Wiffle's musings made Eljay feel sad. Maybe if Wiffle had been healthy, Eljay would have agreed that things had gone just as they should have. But now, he wondered what life would've been like if they had gotten together earlier. What if they'd had Elfie and Weejay earlier? Then they would have been able to see them grow up, both of them, together... Eljay frowned as he thought of this, wishing he could feel the same as Wiffle, but simply being unable.

After a silence he said, Yeah, it's weird to imagine that. Not that weird though. To have more time with Wiffle... To raise more children with her... He watched as she tucked the stone close and wished he had all of that time. He wanted to believe that he had all of that time still. But he felt so very afraid that they might not.

She cradled it and it grew warm against her skin. Wildfire didn't say anything for a while, lost in thoughts, but eventually blinked back to a focus and looked to Eljay again. He had many qualities, though it struck her right then how handsome he was, despite his tearful, careworn countenance.

"If," she began to say, the look on her face saying the rest of the sentence: if I die... "I don't want you to be sad forever. I want you to be happy, for our children but for yourself too. Can you promise me that too?"

It was hard not to feel panicked in the silence that grew between them. It gave Eljay all the time to think about what a future they might've had had they gotten together sooner. Still, the thought of them growing older together, having more years together, and then still running into this obstacle at this point in time was equally sad no matter what perspective he took on this.

When Wiffle spoke again Eljay looked up, looking distraught. If... If what? Eljay still fully believed that she would live at this point. She couldn't go. He needed her here. And her children needed her especially. The thought of what he had gone through when mommy was gone for just a month in his childhood tore Eljay apart. How would his children ever survive that? Nope, she couldn't leave. He blinked through the tears when she followed up on that statement, saying that he shouldn't be sad forever and that he should be happy for both the children and himself. But how could he? Knowing what the children were going through... Knowing how little time they had had together... Trying to keep everything together...

Eljay blinked the tears away and said, his voice small, quivering and tight, Please don't leave us. He knew she could not help it, that she didn't want to go, but the rational way she spoke about leaving just tore him apart. As if she was somehow at peace with it, even though she clearly had a hard time too. He didn't want to make it even harder for her to go, but he just couldn't help it. Eljay didn't want to promise anything he couldn't keep.

Maybe he couldn't promise now and Wildfire couldn't fault him for that, nor try to quash his hopes, which were also her own. But hopefully, if the worst came to pass, he would remember this conversation and attempt to honor what might be some of her last wishes.

"I'll try," she said softly, earnestly, already aware on some subconscious level that no matter how she tried, they would not get the outcome they wanted. But for the moment, there was hope in some small measure, and she clutched the warmed stone to her breastbone as if it was the vessel for it.

"I think I'm going to try to rest now," she said a little reluctantly then. "Will you come lay with me?" And though the words felt like a cliché from a bawdy romance novel, Wildfire added, "Will you hold me?"

Eljay wished he could promise her what she asked of him, but he just could not. The thought of losing Wiffle was yet unbearable and he still had some hope that she may get to stay. He needed to believe that she would get to stay... She said she'd try, and Eljay blinked a few tears away and smiled a watery smile at her. It'd have to do for now. Thank you, he said meekly, even though he knew it gave no guarantees. But he needed to believe that there was still hope. Without hope, he would just break down.

Wiffle said that she would try to get some rest, and Eljay nodded. It was probably for the best, even though he wished to just be with her for the rest of the night, talking and snuggling.

Her question did not take long to answer. Eljay nodded at each question posed. I would love nothing more, he answered earnestly, and Eljay snuggled his nose softly against Wiffle's face to emphasise that statement.

Of course, he would never fault her for being cheesy. Wildfire coaxed her cheek muscles to tug her lips into a faint smile as Eljay happily agreed, punctuating his response with a snuffling nuzzle. She leaned into it for a few seconds, then turned and padded into the den. With each footstep, she felt exhaustion weighing heavier on her slim shoulder blades so that by the time she was safely within the confines of the den, she couldn't do much more than buckle beneath it, dropping gently to the floor.

She would've liked to stay awake long enough to enjoy her mate's embrace and thought she might; surely her anxiety would keep her up even despite her weariness. Though as soon as Eljay snuggled up to her, Wildfire found the solace of sleep in his arms. If she dreamed, she would not remember it later. She was still as death, only soft, warm and breathing, totally at peace beside Eljay.

Thank you for this thread and these two.

As Wiffle lay down, Eljay snuggled up close beside her. He snuggled his nose against her neck, a content though worried smile on his face. For now, he just wanted to forget all the fuss going on in their lives and he just wanted to lay here and pretend everything was going to be alright there. I love you, he murmured into her ear, but his mate was already gone to sleep.

Eljay, on the other hand, lay awake for many more hours. He couldn't sleep, anxiety having him firmly in its grasp, so he just lay by Wiffle's side all night, wide awake.