Moonspear There is so much wrong going on outside

no rush on this, for anyone! Sad sigh

There were a lot of changes going on in Tuktu right now, but fortunately, the young Redleaf-Disarinno was not a part of any of them.  It had been a while and, last time he'd visited, Charon had seemed a little down.  That was why Maia was visiting and why, when she did, she brought a gift along.

It was a shell, large and white, that she'd found along the beach during her last trip.  It reminded her of him because it was prickly but also super cool looking, and really smooth on the inside.  Just like, yeah, he was?  It made sense to her! And she knew he'd love it.

As soon as she got to the mountain she howled for him, completely oblivious to the terrible changes that had happened here too.  Maybe she could tell him the story she'd told Illidan!  Or something similar, if not exactly that, since that was kinda his. Or today could be the day they tried to climb the mountain.  That would be super cool too!

Since everything had gone down, Jarilo was not well. He couldn't sleep, didn't have any appetite.. and felt like nothing except all-consuming grief, heavy and suffocating. Too much had changed too fast for him, and then he went on and spent too much time where they had found them. In the initial days, on some sort of guard-vigil where he tried to have it all set in. By now, it had morphed into something else. He was lost and he was hurting.

But he was in the area when someone came calling for his father, so the son went to answer on his behalf since this confused him a touch as it was. The timing was remarkably awful if she was someone who was meant to meet with him for some reason.. but Jarilo couldn't imagine what. He was in no place to be delivering news of this magnitude, but proximity sort of suggested it of him anyway and he definitely didn't want to bother Hydra with such as this--not with her pups getting so close.

He found the stranger and made his way to her just enough to say: Why do you call for my dad? Eventually he stopped and stared, looking spent where normally, he wore a much lighter elegance. He won't answer.. he's gone. Jarilo informed as he lifted his head, though swallowed thickly when he just wanted to choke on the words, not tell some unsuspecting stranger something that hurt him so badly.

When the summons rose from the borders, they plunged his thoughts down into a dark well. He wasn't far off from the borders and turned to head towards the caller swiftly, wondering just who this rogue caller was, and wondering why they were looking for Charon. The timing couldn't have been any worse on their part, especially for a social call, and he would no doubt ruin the occasion.

As the mystery woman came into view, it was not who he feared it being initially, but rather a vaguely familiar face. Dirge couldn't place her, at least not immediately. They had met some time ago, he was certain of that. It was enough to pull him from the cover he had found and he approached with a confidence held that she was not there to stir trouble. With a better look of her features, he felt a name roll off his tongue.

"Maia, wasn't it? You've picked an unfortunate time to pay a visit," and it was there that apprehension crossed him. It was only then that he realized he wasn't alone either, that Jarilo had beaten him to the punch only moments before, and his gaze rested on the younger man. Whatever had been shared, he stayed uncertain of, but tension lining Jarilo's face spoke volumes.

hi i couldn't resist and this is hella awkward because i managed not to even see jarilo's post fml

Sometimes she forgot Charon had kids.  When one showed up and said he was gone, Maia's first instinct was not to take that the way it was meant.  She'd never met Jarilo before, wasn't expecting bad news, and didn't even attempt to read the room.

I'm Maia, from the Firebirds.  Charon's a friend, and I wanted to visit and see how he was.  And leave a present, but that was a surprise for him, so she didn't mention it.  When's he coming back?  He led here, there was no way he would be gone long.

Then Dirge showed up, a wolf Maia definitely remembered (helloooo sir) but had definitely forgotten the name of.  Which was awkward because he very flatteringly remembered hers.  She flushed, then stammered a bit.  Um, hey, yeah.  W.... wait, what's goin on?  Realizing what exactly he'd said snapped her back out of it, and she looked at them both with obvious confusion.  Why was this a bad time?

On the frazzled edges of his awareness, Dirge's arrival took some of the bulk of this off his shoulders already. He nodded slow to add to that--it was a rough time to come to their peak, and to seek Charon no less. If Jarilo heard right, it sounded like Hydra's mate was at least somewhat familiar with this stranger, though... who soon confirmed, and introduced herself as Maia, of the Firebirds, and friend of Charon's.

As for his father, the patriarch of this peak, Jarilo's expression was sorrowful and his lips twitched downward. Maybe his phrasing wasn't the best. He wished he could say he'd come back soon, content with a knowing grin.. but instead he could only account for what was left of his once proud body, smashed and battered after his mother finally did them in. He won't be.. he said quietly, feeling his heart quicken preemptively over more bad news--he had to get it out quick, though a glance to Dirge made it tempting to leave it to him. He's gone. Dead, now, he added, ears down and eyes following it, not feeling very good about how Maia may take it. If she had been a friend, then Jarilo instinctively braced for more sadness, because his sea of sorrow was enough to deal with as it was.

He thought perhaps relief would come to him to hear Jarilo mention just why Charon wouldn't be there, but he didn't feel that at all. It was a rather painful thing to watch him handle, to hear how the delivery threatened to falter and crumble. But he soldiered through it, letting silence make a mockery of the void that was very real for most of them.

Dirge however, was not among them. His composure was much more put together, less tarnished by Charon's absence. He wasn't happy that he was gone, but at the same time it was there that the relief lied, knowing that his relationship with Hydra's father was rougher than stones that made up their mountain. A sort of cruel irony had begun to dawn on him in the time that passed—pride went before a fall. Charon had certainly taken a fall.

He'd do well to keep that in mind himself.

”It was... recent,” Dirge continued gently, picking up where Jarilo had left off. Trying to relieve him of the burden of questions he thought may come after. ”Sorry you've had to find out this way at the end of your travels to us.” Though he wondered why she was there, it was also easier to give her the opportunity to process such things. The answers would find their questions soon enough, he thought.

Naive excitement slowly soured to dread in her stomach as Maia waited, and the darker younger one seemed to struggle with what he said next.  She heard the words that left his mouth, but for some reason, her own voice spoke before her mind could catch up.  What?

She misheard.  Either that or they were wrong.  She stared at Dirge numbly as he confirmed it, but his own tone didn't at all match the hysterical pitch her thoughts were beginning to siren at.  There was no way.  They were wrong.  He wasn't.

Um.  I... you.  No.  He can't be.  The words came out slow and thick as her mind struggled to catch up.  But just like when Terance had told her about mom and dad, she knew honestly they weren't mistaken.  They wouldn't lie about this.  How!?  No, she didn't want to know.  

She didnt know what to do now.

Even with Dirge there to pick up his slack and make it into a halfway palatable delivery of information, Maia still had to question it, and he did not want to reiterate that at all.

He can't be, she said.. and inside, a great, overwhelming I wish!! reared up in him but he refused to say it. He knew better than most how strong, fearless, and proud his father was! Jarilo had never imagined death coming for him until then when its finality had arrived for him, clearly. Before he had always fought it off, and wore the scars to prove it, living to fight another day up until he finally met the end.. and the son also knew that those were not injuries to shrug off, or ever hope to come back from. He had looked. Closer than he had wished he had, but Jarilo had been hunting for every ounce of painful closure that he could find; there was much to be said torn and beaten into his hide and frankly, he still didn't know what to do with that fact yet.

Struggling over a lick of irritation now faced with a random Firebird's grief for his father.. he steeled whatever was left of himself carefully. His own nerves were short, he was tired. His parents had just died a gruesome death.. He is. Look, I hate it too.. and I really wish I had something better to tell you, but trust me: Charon is dead, he said, voice quivering with sadness and sorrow all over as he felt tension rise in him, then out to his furs. How else could he emphasize this? Did she need to see his smashed face to believe him? She had wanted to see how he was, after all. You don't want to see him anymore... he muttered, toning it down with a steadying breath. Charon wasn't here, not in that form. Maybe in all of them and all of his other lasting influences on these lands. Now, he was beyond their realm.. where none of them could reach him. Sorry, his posture flattened again and for a second, he squeezed shut his burning eyes.

Ultimately, grief to the outside parties was a painful thing to watch. Every subtle shift in their body language, their expression, he was aware of. To sense and anticipate the rising tide of emotions and the great collective that they spanned only to watch them mix and be stowed away was uncomfortable. Though he had the inclination to encourage Jarilo to take his leave, he let him work it out for himself. It was easier to turn a blind eye to the tension, to even turn his head and survey their surroundings as snippets of conversation were passed back and forth; it was easier to think for a moment that he was not third party to witness something he felt he had nothing to contribute to. He certainly didn't share the majority of the sorrow.

When silence had fallen again, his attention turned back to the pair before his gaze dropped towards the ground for a moment. It wasn't just about Charon that rubbed salt in fresh wounds—Jarilo had lost his mother, too, and Dirge felt that was the real tragedy. Given the extension of his father's infidelity, a female caller along the borders could have easily thrown kerosene in those wounds too. The only way he knew how to deaden the pain was the make it burn until it didn't any more; he made an inquiry to satisfy his own curiosity: "How did you know Charon?"

Jarilo's anger only made everything worse.  He had every right to be, but Maia recoiled from the hurt and frustration in his words.  It was the brutal truth, and panicked tightness began to fill her chest as she felt the onset of sobs and the flush of heat in her face.  No..... no....

You don't want to see him anymore.  But she did.  There was so much she hadn't told him, so many stories, and so much she didn't ask.  Things about her mom, her dad.  Stupid things, things that didn't even matter.  What was her mom like, before she'd had kids? Did she always want them? Did she think for a while that storytelling was a useless trade too, or did she always know what she wanted to do?

Probably Charon wouldn't have even known, but now she'd never get to ask.  And she'd never get to see him again.

I.... .  She was losing her composure, and she didn't think she could answer poor Dirge's question.  She barely heard it.  She didn't belong here.  She was just messing everything up like she always did, and now that he was gone, she couldn't come back.  They didn't want her here.

Without acknowledging and still shell shocked, Maia spun and fled, not a single word of goodbye.  Behind her she left it sitting there on the ground... a perfect white shell, discarded on the leaves.  It didn't matter now.

When it didn't look like his frustration helped at all, and Dirge's added question really made him wonder suddenly, he couldn't find any morose in excess for Maia then--so peered wide-eyed at her instead. He felt a little blindsided by her hurt being so pronounced right here before him, at their doorstep no less--how had she known his father enough to feel that way? Jarilo was a bit confused, and wanting to write it off as Charon being a wolf of mighty reach who in all of his time in these wilds surely influenced several.. but, he was in a poorly enough mood and easy to be bothered, apparently.

His expression darkened and his head lowered when she turned to flee without an answer, or anything else to be said after her sobs started. He made no attempt to rectify that, and still didn't feel inclined as she went away from them. He didn't know what to say, what to do, even! He scarcely knew who this girl was, let alone what was going to make this better for her short of them conjuring forth Charon from past the living, which was not happening; he wouldn't wish that on anyone after the fall and fight he had taken, but, he watched Maia go with a tired sigh. He had just absolutely ruined her day with that news, but he had been having a terrible week already. He didn't have it in him to care.

That went even worse than I expected.. he muttered, and slowly drifted closer to what caught his eye now that she was gone. He approached to sniff, and found it was a shell..? As he breathed deep, he just had more questions, and none were too kind to his morale. Weird. She left.. this? He scrunched his nose, more perplexed as to why above all, and still stung about all of his hurts that Dirge got to see front and center.

How curious it was that she ran, surprising that her composure simply shattered in an instant when the cracks began to appear. Dirge watched the bob and weave of her figure as it came and went through the scenery until it appeared no more, and by then Jarilo had moved to investigate what it was that she had left behind. He hadn't even noticed the shell lying in the dirt though the starkness of its design stood out boldly against the dark earth. He moved to see it for himself, gaze tracing over the ridges and the curve—it was intricate, beautiful.

"A present from the ocean, how interesting," he murmured. "Your father said he once lived along the coast, perhaps that's how they knew one another." The history of such he had never had the opportunity to learn, but as of late there were few opportunities he had could afford. Somewhere within, he longed to see the coast once again. He thought he would before the season changed, maybe once all of this had settled and the children born. His gaze left the present to look to Jarilo, not wondering aloud what it was that they should do with it. It seemed rude to leave it, but he was remiss as to what more they could do.

As if this needed another layer of confusing, Jarilo didn't know what to make of the seashell or its implications as he scowled down at it, visually tracing its ridges and admiring the color. Maybe. I always thought that was a long time ago for him.. he replied quietly. He knew it to be longer ago than any of his sisters had lived, which on his scale of things, that was considerable enough. Jarilo was no expert at gauging age but Maia didn't seem all too old or particularly seasoned--not from that brief encounter anyway, but who knew. Maybe she knew about his father's past, or had seen the coast with him once as well.

He took Vela and I to visit once. He seemed comfortable there, too.. he added with a faraway look, contemplative and remembering the time he had enjoyed so thoroughly. Through all of his lessons and stories, it had been a greater insight into Charon as a wolf, separated just a bit from his family and his claim. It was still him as the son had always known him, of course, but there had been something else there too that he didn't get to see often otherwise. She should've kept it, though. I guess I could still take it to him, he sighed, like it may help this somehow--and it wouldn't, besides landing Maia's gift in its final destination. But why? But I just don't think he has any appreciation for fancy shells anymore. Somehow his frown deepened.

Have you met her before..? he asked. Dirge had seemed vaguely familiar with her, right?

”Once, in the plains,” he answered, recalling their encounter briefly. She had seemed so haughty then compared to now and he suspected that the wilds had curbed that. Softened her somehow, though his impression of her was a vague memory at best. The fact he had remembered her name was a feat in itself for someone he had never anticipated seeing again.

”It was a brief meeting, she was living somewhere nearby then, I think. Somewhere to the east,” he went on, trying to dredge up the memory. When it had been had long escaped him; he couldn't recall if it was before or after he had found Nyx, or before or after his attempt to claim the weald had failed. A sigh left him then and he shook his head. It was meaningless to try and recall it when far too much filled in the blanks since then.

Which left the matter of the shell, and Jarilo's comment of it from before.

A moment of hesitation crossed him, but he soon decided: ”I could take it there, if you'd like. We may not know why she brought it here for him, but I guess it's her way of showing respect if you believe in such a thing.” Seemed fair, given the circumstances and that it had clearly affected her. Whether she was just a friend or another mistress that they had no idea of was up in the air—Dirge didn't care to find out, either. But he wouldn't let the difficulty rest on Jarilo's shoulders alone.

So it sounded like to him that Dirge and Maia had just crossed paths before, or at least hardly more than that. His description didn't give a lot to go on besides what it presented at face value, and if he was hearing right, it sounded kind of outdated. At least she had confirmed Firebirds for them here before it had all sort of self-destructed, which made Jarilo him remember about wanting to visit Clover, and maybe even Colt too once. That had really fallen to the wayside lately..

Anyway, it took him a slow moment, but he decided he didn't want to ask anything else about Maia for right now. He got a feeling he just wasn't going to like whatever he did find out, and this was a bad time for that. There was an urge to pick Dirge's brain harder, find out more of what he thought of all that not to mention.. but Jarilo didn't want to keep peeling at an already irritated scab through all the confusion of why this was the first he was ever hearing about her. For now he just wanted to move forward, get through it, and get away from it. He could save stewing on it worse for later.. but while Dirge's offer was tempting, Jarilo had already begun to steel himself for the trip. It's.. fine. I can do it, he replied lowly, and sighed, not wanting to subject the older Moonspearian to visiting his father like that. He would just keep it quick.. maybe not even go all the way. Maybe just enough to say that he did--in case he ever did run into Maia again. He would decide when he got there. I'll see you later..? he said to Dirge before he took the shell in the grasp of his teeth, then darted off.

Watching as Jarilo gathered himself and the shell, Dirge offered him a sure nod. They would see one another again later, whether it was in passing or by choice. He lingered as the younger Ostrega took off for higher climes, at a proverbial crossroads of sorts. Though tempting as it was to try and track down Maia and wherever she had run off to, he couldn't take the chance that she would head out further than his range allowed him. It was too close to Hydra's time; disappearing would have certainly looked bad, even for a short while, and he knew that he needed to save face where and when he could.

So he turned inward towards the territory, and set off on a course unknown.