Sun Mote Copse you stay on my mind

Times had been tough for Eljay. He had accepted mommy and daddy's offer to move in with them. @Elfie seemed to be doing relatively okay -- Eljay supposed that their age was both a blessing and a curse, as they might not remember much of Wiffle as they grew up but they also bounced back better, it appeared -- though @Weejay was not. Eljay wished that he could somehow do something to help her, to help both of them. He remembered all the panic when his own mommy had gone away at that age, but only for a little while. Not forever, like Wiffle. It was unimaginable what a world without his mommy looked like, so how could he possibly give his children everything they needed to get over this? It felt impossible.

But he tried. He fed them, he ran with them, he played with them, and he just hoped that his own sadness did not shake off on them too much. With everything he did, it was clear that Eljay was a broken wolf and he feared that made him a bad influence on his children, who needed someone who could reassure them everything was going to be okay right now.

Today Eljay lay outside the Blackthorn den and watched as sunlight played through the leaves of trees on the ground. Normally he might've enjoyed such a cheerful display, but now it just felt in stark contrast with how he felt on the inside. He contemplated getting up to invite his children to play, but couldn't quite find the energy to go and do something yet.

After the first failed attempt to talk with Eljay right after Wildfire's passing, Wraen had kept a respectful distance from him. She found an excuse to see, how he was doing, every other day, when she came to visit the children. Sometimes she brought food along, at other times it was a toy she had found in the woods, and, when it was neither, she simply entertained the kids by allowing them to be little brats and literally allowing them to climb on her head. 

All through winter and early spring the deer and other members of this family had been changing their rutting season attire and today Wraen had been lucky to find a particularly impressive specimen from a moose. It was big, it was heavy and as she carried it to the Blackthorn den, wondering, how many Finwoods could fit in it, she tried not to trip anywhere.

Upon her arrival there was an unusual quiet around the otherwise very busy place. With the exception of Eljay. She let the gift fall on the ground and stretched her neck first and greeted the present man second. "Hey!" she said. "Are kids having a nap? I thought that those little sharks might like to sharpen their teeth on something tougher than feet and other body parts."

Time flew by as he just watched the sunlight dance on the copse's floor. Eljay's head lifted when he heard someone's approach breach the moment of peace and silence. He smiled meekly as Wraen approached dragging along an impressive moose's antler she had found somewhere. She asked after the kids and Eljay looked back at the den. They were asleep, for a rare moment.

They are. I'm sure they'll love this. We can wake them up in a little bit, if you'd like. Eljay smiled at Wraen. He wasn't really sure what else to say or what to talk about.

"Oh, I don't think that's necessary - with their energy levels I believe that those moments, when they are sound asleep, are true blessings," Wraen answered, smiling, then picked up the antler and dragged it to a spot that was near to the den's mouth. She would be up and chipper to play with the Blackthorn gang later, but now she hoped she could entertain Eljay a little. If all failed, waking up the kids would be a plan B.

"Would you be interested in going out with me some time?" she asked, when she had returned and sat in front of Eljay. "Now with the kids a little older and more independent, I was thinking about arranging some hunting or scouting lessons. And an advice from an experienced Puppy-sitter on the best locations and kid preferences would be great," frankly speaking, she was coming up with the reasons of, how to get Eljay to focus on something else than his grief over the loss of his mate, as she went.

She figured that by talking with him about something he felt confident and proud in, would avoid the awkward breaks or embarrassement on his side.

Eljay had to admit that what Wraen said was kind of true. Though he also caught himself often checking if they were still alive when they were asleep very soundly. He'd move his ear close to their face so he could hear them breathe, because Eljay was often scared that they would get sick. Every tiny little bump they'd get, even if was just from a mosquito, was examined as if it might be the next plague given shape. You're right, he admitted and he forced a small smile onto his face.

Wraen asked if he was interested in 'going out' with her sometime. This clearly shocked him a little, and Eljay looked as if he didn't really know what to do with himself. What did she mean by that? Did she mean... in a like-like kind of way, or just because they were friends? But Wraen soon clarified that she was thinking of arranging lessons for the pups and that she just wanted his advice. Eljay's worry melted away and he felt relieved when he answered: Of course I can help you out with that. He didn't feel that Wraen probably needed his help on this, but, well, he could always see what he might be able to chip in.

Wraen saw confusion cast a shadow on Eljay's mournful expression and she both held her breath and crossed her fingers (if she were able to do that) in foreboding. Don't crash, don't crash, don't crash... She repeated inside her head the same way a parent does, when they let their kid drive them for the first time. In her case - if Eljay was to go in his usual embarrassed mode, she would be in a limbo. With all due respect for Wildfire's advice on being patient (ve-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ry patient) with her life-long friend and mate, she would not know, how to deal with him right here in front of his parents' house. Explaining to Finley, why her grown-up son was brought to a meltdown was something she did not wish to do either today or ever.

Even with this paragraph long banter inside her head and the actual moment lasting for only a split of second, Eljay did not crash, he did not even stutter. Apparently Wraen had hid a jackpot, when she had offered him to do something he was an expert at. "Would you be ready to go right now?" she set a trap, because with kids asleep and another adult (hopefully either of the grandparents were taking a nap with them), Eljay could not say "no". "It's just around the corner, it won't take long at all."

Eljay had no idea of all the things that went on inside Wraen's head -- luckily -- as he was too absorbed in his own emotional journey at present time. Still trying to process all that happened, and knowing that he would never be fully able to process it all. It was that very thought that often drove him into tears and madness in the middle of the night when he was all alone with his thoughts and unable to catch sleep.

Wraen asked him if he wanted to right then, and Eljay felt a little caught off guard. Oh, uhm... But she was right; he could hardly say 'No' because there were enough to watch over the children here and the pups wouldn't exactly miss him either. Yeah, sure... The hesitance was clear in his voice but Eljay got up anyway and forced a smile to his face to show that he wasn't as unenthusiastic as his words sounded (even though, you know, he was).

Wraen noticed that Eljay was reluctant and unwilling, but, if she had got him to the point of getting up to his feet, then she was not giving in now. She pretended not to see that his smile did not reach his eyes, that it was somewhat forced, instead, she offered a genuine one of hers. And with an excited bounce in her step she guided him away from the den. 

"We have a choice between a waterfall, a bog and a clearing here that is populated by mushrooms," she named all the locations that she could come up with on the spot. She sounded, as if she had planned it all carefully, when in reality her brains were hard at work on improvising. "And I was thinking of arranging a treasure hunt for the kids one day. Just to get them into tracking. Ever done that? The treasure hunting, I mean?" she asked him.

Wraen guided the way and though Eljay was loathe to leave the safety of the den and his snoozing children behind, he followed. Already he was afraid something might happen to them while he was out and regretted going, and for a moment he almost ran right back five steps into this journey with Wraen. He just wanted to make sure they were safe. Just look at them for a second.

Distracted, Eljay nodded as Wraen named locations she could think of. What were they arranging again? Well, whatever it was, a clearing with mushrooms seemed safer than a bog or a waterfall for pups. But what if the mushrooms were poisonous? Eljay sounded distracted when he suggested: Clearing with mushrooms, but only after making sure the mushrooms aren't poisonous. Wraen then went on to say that she wanted to organise a treasure hunt for tracking. Eljay remembered doing a fair few treasure hunts with his parents when he was young, though they were often filled with fright for him. He did recognise that most pups weren't as fearful as he was, but he was still hesitant. What if either of his would get scared? Alright, but only if each of the pups has an adult accompanying them. I mean, just to make sure. In case they get scared or something. He totally forgot to answer her question in the meantime, so focussed on what this meant for his kids.

When it happened the first time, Wraen put it off as Eljay having a bad experience with mushrooms. "Well, how are you going to do that?" she asked. Other than taking the risk and tasting them beforehand, which was just a stupid. "And who eats mushrooms anyway," she shrugged. Those plants had never appealed to her. They smelled funny. "Just tell them that they will evaporate in thin air, if they so much as think of trying them. That's, what my mom told me and I remember that to this very day. And I never tried a mushroom for that matter," she offered with a hint of good-natured humour in her voice. She did not take Eljay's concern seriously. 

However his next proposition left her speechless for few moments. What the hell he thought she was planning to drag the kids into? "What kind of scary-ass treasure hunts were you taken on, when you were a kid?" she asked him half-curious, half-amused. She heard him out and explained a little about, what she had in mind: "I think that copse is safe enough for kids to be alright. Plus, the plan is to start small and easy. But, if you want a supervising team of adults - be my guest. Organize it and I won't complain."

Uh... Eljay actually wasn't too sure how to go about that. Try them, he supposed, but as soon as he had that thought he realised how stupid it was. Maybe just avoid the mushrooms altogether, then. Wraen said something that her mother had told her that'd kept her from eating them, but honestly, Eljay wasn't too sure it would work. Elfie and Weejay were very curious and he worried they might try it anyway, just to see how it would taste to see it evaporate. I don't know, he said with a frown. They might try it all the same just to check. Better to avoid the mushrooms, then. So no clearing with mushrooms. They'd find a clearing without mushrooms, surely. He knew a lot more about plants, so he could make sure there were no dangerous ones there.

Wraen called him out on the plan to bring adults to accompany the kids. Eljay frowned and looked away, clearly distraught when she asked him what sort of scary treasure hunts he'd been taken onto. He felt caught out by this, and it was a confirmation of what a coward he was and had always been. Eljay didn't like to be reminded of that.

Yes, alright, so perhaps his fear was a little unreasonable at times, but he just wanted to be sure. They might get hurt, he said. I don't want Weejay or Elfie to go unless I come with them. It wasn't a suggestion - it was a demand. Eljay didn't want to hold them back but he wanted them to get hurt even less. Wraen had already said that he could organise a team of adults, so he decided he would go for that.

Eljay's concern rang so true and serious that for a moment there Wraen felt guilty for mocking him about his ideas on child safety and how to provide it to them. There was nothing wrong in wanting to protect the children and after losing his mate so soon and under such sad circumstances, she should have been more empathic about his state. 

"Well, when the right time of the year comes, you won't find a patch of wood here, where there won't be any mushrooms. And you can't keep too teenagers cooped up in a den, until it's all over," she said in a calm and encouraging way, leaving teasing remarks to the side. "In my opinion, rather than forbidding you could do a good job explaining, why it is not good to try the mushrooms or other shady plants. And you can instruct them on plants that they can consume safely. I got that lecture - on alternative edible stuff - as well. It is useful and it kept my mind off doing stupid things," she reminisced. 

"Or even give a lesson on basic medicinal plants -  you have had some medic training, haven't you?" her eyes were alight and she felt excited about this new idea. "You cannot protect them from everything, sooner or later they will have to look out for themselves. But you can prepare them well to face the world bravely," she suggested. "Think about it. With your vast experience with children you do know that at a certain point the more you restrict them, the more they resist and resent you?"

The picture that Wraen sketched was terrifying. Mushrooms everywhere, and a lot of them poisonous and ready to assassinate his poor children. It was enough to make Eljay nervous and he could feel panic restrict his throat. Wraen went on to explain that maybe it was better to educate them and let them know what stuff they could safely eat rather than restrict them on what they shouldn't do. Eljay wanted to, he really did, but he also was just so scared that they would get hurt. And what if they would get hurt because he told them they could eat a certain plant and they mistook it for a different one? What if...

Eljay bobbed his head as Wraen asked about his medical training. He supposed he could teach them a thing or two, but would they even care so much? It already felt like it was hard to contain them now, what if it would only get harder and what if they wouldn't be interested? What if they would think he was lame? The thought of his own children laughing in his face over trying to teach them about plants made Eljay's gut wrench and throat tighten.

I guess I could try to teach them some things about plants, he said, sounding discouraged and half-hearted about this, even though the cause for this had nothing to do with the teaching bit or Wraen's suggestions at all, and only with the things inside his own head.

Wraen had not the slightest suspicion that any of the kids could act like jerks towards Eljay, least of all his own children. Then again she had conveniently forgotten, what it meant to be a teenager, and with them striving for more independence and need to test the boundaries, they could find an easy target in this insecure man. They could hurt him unintentionally, even if it meant to feel better for themselves for five minutes or so. Time would show.

"Excellent," she accepted Eljay's cautious offer and decided for herself that she will remind him of it later. This was a too good opportunity to let pass, now that she had got him out of his hermit shell for a bit. With this settled there was a danger of running into the "nothing to say to each other" territory. For a moment she was tempted to ask, what it was like to be a male-midwife, but feared that this topic would immeadiately remind him of Wildfire and therefore she abstained from it. Instead...

"What do you know about plants?" she went back to the subject. "I have been blessed with good health and grass has been an all-around medicine for any maladies I have happened to have," she explained. "But I heard that Raven trained you and she is a skilled medic."

Wraen continued on the subject, though it was unclear for Eljay whether it was because she was really interested or if she just looked for something to talk about. Whatever the case, she had asked, and so Eljay would oblige and answer her questions. He smiled weakly and offered, Yes, Raven taught me some things. Mostly herbs that assist with the uhm -- with giving birth at first, but later I asked her to teach me about herbs to help with injuries, too. There's a lot of overlap, actually, I mean, with herbs that make you feel less pain and stuff. The big new stuff is dealing with wounds. Eljay looked to see if Wraen was still interested and mostly he hoped she would ask him more stuff, if she was, so that he could figure what direction to take the conversation in next.

True - Wraen had asked about the subject, because silence would be more difficult to bear, but now that Eljay gladly elaborated on it, she was surprised that her previously un-medical mind was interested in the stuff. Herbs that assist giving birth - wonder, how would that work. She had heard that it hurt a lot, though, when she had inquired her own mother about this, Osprey had not offered much other than - yes, there had been pain, but you forget about it later. 

And her mind instantly went from childbirth to the actual child-making process. So, if there were herbs that assisted the former - would Eljay be educated on the latter? She eyed him out of corner of her eye, deciding, whether she should ask him about love potions and special stuff named after great goddess Aphrodite herself or not. With him having fathered two children this season, the topic about sex should not be embarrassing? But, you never knew with Eljay... So, she let this matter drop and continued to sail the safe waters.

"So, what is the most fool-proof herb against injuries?" she asked. That should be safe.

It turned out Wraen was actually still interested, which made Eljay feel a little better. He soon found himself at a loss for words however, because the question was very broad and therefore the answers were very difficult to come by, too. Eljay considered if he should just start telling, but 'all' was a very big thing so he decided against that.

Well, it depends on the injury. If it's a wound, it depends if it's clean or not. When it's a fresh wound, I usually just clean it by licking it and then put clean moss on it. Eljay glanced at Wraen to gauge her interest before he continued. If it's infected, the best is still to clean it, but it's very hard because it'll be really gross so uhm.. There's various herbs you could eat against infection and pain, or some to use clean wounds. Better to avoid the infection, though, it's... It can be quite - he swallowed, - deadly. Not that Wiffle had died from infections, but somehow talking about death still struck a big chord right now.

So the bottom-line to all healing and medicine stuff was that you simply should not get hurt in the first place. Wraen considered herself pretty lucky to having outrun any trouble that would have involved jaws and torn flesh. On the other hand she was not so sure about the licking part - wolf's tongue, of course, was the only remedy that was available for all and yet there had been pestering wounds - like her frostbitten toes this winter - where licking had made things even more, because it had become obsessive. Kind of a cursed circle - it had started out alright and then she had been unable to stop. 

Wraen was also skeptical about the moss part - alright, you put it on, but, how would you keep in place? She could not imagine a way and doubted that Eljay would have anything better to say other than staying put and not moving. "What works for pain?" she asked, when she had skimmed through all the information and decided that this particular bit would be the most useful for her.

Wraen took the information in and the only thing she then asked about was what worked against pain. A valid question, and Eljay nodded with a smile as though approving of her questioning line. Seeds from uh - a flower - I'll show it to you in the spring, I forgot the name, the cupped sort of.. I'll show you in the spring. They help with pain, but they're really potent so you shouldn't use too many. He paused briefly to see if it was sinking in, then added: I prefer raspberry leaves, because they're not dangerous at all. Rather go with safe and steady than potent but risky, in Eljay's mind. He didn't realise this was a thing used for pregnancies and birthing rather than general painkilling; he'd a lot more experience with being a midwife than a healer, after all.

"I think that those seeds sound less spiky than the leaves. The raspberry stalks are pretty nasty, to be honest," Wraen shared her mind, having once made the bad decision of taking a shortcut throuh raspberry bush growth. She had ended up lost and stuck and very scratched, when she had fought her way out of the trap.

She was saved from coming up with another question (which was not easy on her part, because she knew very little about medicine and therefore had even less ideas of, how to keep the conversation intelligent), when a movement in the distance caught her attention. Wraen stopped, listened and observed carefully and after having made sure that the object of her interest was something of hunting value, she shot an inviting glance in Eljay's direction before shooting after the prey. 

I think that this is a good point to stop and we can have a new up to date thread. Thank you!

yes, i'd love a new one <3 feel free to tack on another reply or archive it as is!

Eljay frowned as Wraen said that raspberry sounded worse than poppy seeds. Aren't you thinking of bramble stalks? he wondered aloud. They were worse, at least in his mind. More prickly. Though he supposed raspberry stalks weren't the best thing to wander through, it was still a whole lot better than risking taking too many poppy seeds.

Poppy seeds are more dangerous for the inside of a wolf, though, so it's worth it to go through the trouble to get raspberry leaves. He frowned as he looked at Wraen, hoping she understood. Then he said, Let's see if we can find some of either... as he took a turn into a narrow path to their left, leading them on a journey to find some herbs.

"Yeah, maybe. I have never known the difference between the two," Wraen shrugged and followed after Eljay readily. Not that she had much hope of finding out, what exactly the raspberry leaves looked like, but rather because she felt glad that the widower was distracted for the time being and seemed relatively happy as well.