Sun Mote Copse Brave as a noun
All Welcome  January 23, 2020, 05:15 PM
Phox
Lone Wolves

Tags for reference; not a requirement to join by any means. <3

Staying true to his word, Phox was trying to track down @Eljay this afternoon. Maybe helping somebody else would take his mind off his own problems. Even if not, he'd told Wraen that he would talk to Eljay, so here he was, doing his best to do just that. It might be a good opportunity to say hello to @Weejay, too. Hell, he couldn't even remember if Weejay was a boy or a girl. What a terrible brother and uncle he was!

He was pretty sure he'd caught Eljay's trail, although it wasn't a particularly fresh one. It led him down a dead end, and Phox huffed, annoyed that he wasn't easier to find. Maybe he was missing something. With a sigh, he began to sniff about once more, hoping to pick up on something more fresh.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 23, 2020, 08:30 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

It seemed as though the more Niamh ought to have had on her mind, the less she cared about any of it. She'd returned to the pack days ago, and the memory of her secret tryst with Asa hadn't faded, per say, but didn't cloud her vision or make her wishful. She felt little shame, though she knew that if Phox had found out about it, he probably wouldn't have been pleased. So what, though? She wasn't his, and she could do what she wanted...Right? So she assured herself of that, and decided that some things were simply best kept as a secret. In the very least, it had helped her calm her nervs and get herself somewhat back on track.聽

She worried about Towhee- and still harboured the hope that she might have conceived after having made every effort to do so while she'd been in heat. She also hoped that Sugar Glider would be alright, but there wasn't much she could do about either of those situations. The only thing she could really effect was the outcome of her previous spat with Phox- so she set out to track him down.聽

Unfortunately, she hadn't taken the time to think about what they'd need to talk about, or what she would even say to him. So when she followed his tracks only to realize he'd doubled back and had headed back toward her, she stopped, somewhat dumbly, and stood there, her feet in the pawprints he'd left behind, and sheepishly gawked at him with one ear turned back. Now what?
January 23, 2020, 10:20 PM
Phox
Lone Wolves

Instead of Eljay鈥攐r even Weejay鈥擯hox soon found himself face-to-face with the very wolf he was trying to push out of his mind. He stopped where he was, one paw raised and ready to take another step, but eventually he let that settle on the ground, too. He really wasn't sure what to make of her now. Had she been following him? Maybe she'd been trying to find Eljay, just as he had... but wouldn't she have picked up on his fresher scent along the way?

Niamh didn't immediately turn tail and run when she'd spotted him, so he assumed that she'd had enough space. Or she was just here to tell him she still hadn't forgiven him. Phox gave her a questioning look, half-expecting her to shove past him with some snide remark about how he wasn't good enough for her.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 23, 2020, 10:41 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

She felt somewhat guilty when she was discovered, as it was fairly obvious that she'd been tracking him. Behind her lay not two, but one set of tracks, as she'd used his to avoid having to create a new path in the snow, so any wolf- observant or not- would have been able to pick up on the fact that she'd been tailing him. He simply regarded her, as silently as he had before, but at least he didn't turn and leave, nor did he say something snarky to her. Phox, unlike most others, had patience- and though he didn't look happy, per say, to see her, he didn't seem too reluctant to tolerate her.聽

She, suddenly aware of how unsure she was about the proceedings, flicked her ears back, then forward, then back again, and bit her lip, revealing the space where one of her upper canines was missing. "So," She said, and shrugged, off-handedly, as though trying to play it cool while still being painfully aware that she was horrible at doing that. "I guess this is where I say hello...And apologize for being an asshat, or whatever," Foolish pride kept her sincerity somewhat limited, as the hapless female still believed that Phox had been the one to do something wrong- but life had taught her that it was at least better to attempt an apology. She shrugged again, an unattractive, non-committal gesture as she turned her ears back again. "I don't necessarily forgive you, 'cause I still don't think what you did was right," She said in a low voice, but she did force herself to inject a bit of humility. "But I should'n'a been such an asshat about it. So I'm sorry. For that." She explained, chin tipped up slightly, but gaze averted. Something about this was incredibly difficult. And something about her mannerisms likely seemed childish- like the way a child will apologize when instructed to do so- but Niamh had come to the conclusion to do this on her own, so at least she had that to her merit...But not much else.
January 23, 2020, 10:55 PM
Phox
Lone Wolves

She seemed at least somewhat put together, which was good. She didn't forgive him, but that was to be expected. She apologized, which was nice, but what good did that do them? If she didn't trust him, if she couldn't forgive him, how would this ever work? There were a thousand and one questions he had twisting through his brain, and none of them seemed appropriate to ask. There was, however, one thing he could say, which she had not been able to.

Apology accepted, he said, a light, somewhat sad smile playing on his face. Phox wasn't the type to hold grudges, and he would probably never truly understand those who did. It made life so much harder to keep all those negative emotions around. Learning from one's own mistakes and moving on had always paid out tenfold for him. He wondered if Towhee had whispered in her ear about this and that, but he didn't dare ask. His sister was the one who had suggested they give Niamh more time.

The Redhawk felt he should have said something else, but nothing else came to mind. Talking about "what ifs" felt too soon. He didn't feel like they could hop right back to playful banter like they'd been having a few weeks before. Maybe they would never get back to that stage, though he felt that largely depended on her actions more than his. He was reminded of what Towhee had said, that she thought Niamh was worth it if they could work through things.

So are we... okay? he asked after a long pause.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 23, 2020, 11:17 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

She nodded, and blinked a couple times when he accepted her apology, and then waited for...Well, more than a few moments, not quite sure whether she should, or if she needed to prod him to do the same. And when he didn't apologize, it ruffled her feathers, and it showed. She sniffed, pulled her head back in a haughty gesture and returned her scrupulous gaze to his features to see if maybe he was joking, but instead, he seemed earnest. What, had he just been waiting for her to apologize? Didn't he feel like he needed to apologize for having kept Nellie's very existance a secret from her?聽

She sputted softly, a couple times, trying to fuss a couple words into form before she was able to get a grip on her emotions and forced herself to inhale, and then exhale. She snorted, once, indignantly, and looked at him again, as though trying to run a fine-toother comb through whatever unspoken thoughts of his that she could possibly have read, before coming up with nothing. It was a clash of untempered flame and quiet stone, and the tension hovered for a few moments longer before she managed to refocus the lash of her flame and return to her usual state of smouldering embers.聽

"I'm more used to getting yelled at." It was the only excuse she could come up with.
January 23, 2020, 11:28 PM
Phox
Lone Wolves

She didn't seem terribly pleased by his acceptance, which baffled him. He had given his apology previously, when they had talked before, and she had outright rejected it. Phox didn't see the need to make that apology a second time, considering her reaction on the first go around. Even now, he didn't make the connection as to why she was huffing and puffing, but he had a feeling she just wanted...

Oh, there it was. She wanted him to yell at her. Phox gave her a incredulous look. Who in their right mind would prefer that? He supposed he had his answer to that question. Ah, was all he could manage. Phox licked his lips, then let his hindquarters rest on the ground. I don't really do that. As if that wasn't obvious enough.

All his usual conversational go-tos like kids were off the table right now, at least with her, and he struggled with what to say next. Is that, uh, something you need? "In a partner" was implied, although he didn't push it in that direction. Phox was finding that talking to her was more like walking on sharp rocks.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 23, 2020, 11:41 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

Without pausing to consider the considerably coarse nature of her words, Niamh immediately blurted "Well no duh, your sister's deaf, s'no point," Before she could stop herself. Of course, once she realized how idiotic and offensive she sounded, she flattened her ears, and admitted an apologetic, but percussive "Fuck." Thereby acknowledging that she knew Phox talked to more wolves than just his sister, and that she ought not have used Towhee's deafness as some means of an excuse. She shook her head slightly, disappointed in herself.聽

She grimaced when it was suggested, then, or at least she felt it was implied that if she needed to be yelled at, then he would do that for her. She felt frustrated, and the feeling of having a hornet-s nest buzzing around her head returned. This was what it felt like to be met with an obstacle that revealed her true nature. That she was impetuous, and that others not only saw her for it, but called her out on it. It was like having a mirror directed at her before she had a chance to cover herself with makeup and create an appealing angle. "I think the last thing this pack needs is another screamer," She drawled. "I just...I can't get over the fact that you knew that Nellie was alive...But didn't tell me." She admitted. It was easier to point out what she perceived as being his weaknesses than to keep gazing at her own.
January 24, 2020, 08:31 AM
Phox
Lone Wolves

Her comment hit a nerve. A big one, and Phox bristled. It was one thing to make jokes with Towhee about her inability to hear, but it was an entirely different scenario to make fun of her while she wasn't even here. Phox was vehemently protective of Towhee, Figment, and Fennec, and Niamh should have known that. At least she was quick to realize her mistake, even if she didn't apologize for it. He was beginning to realize just how hypocritical she was, and... well, it wasn't a great quality.

She brought up Nellie again, and Phox closed his eyes, shaking his head. I've already apologized, he said, hoping to maybe refresh her memory. She's here; she's alive. Hate me for it all you want, but what's been done is done. Phox felt he'd done his part. If she needed more time, that was fine. If she never forgave him for it, that was fine too, but it would also likely be the end the beginning for them.

Phox still wondered if she had asked Nellie why she'd wanted it to be a secret, but he wasn't about to tell her how to talk to her own daughter. Something told him that wouldn't go over well. But that didn't mean that he, a concerned pack-mate, couldn't ask Nellie on his own, and he intended to do just that whenever he bumped into her again.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 24, 2020, 10:36 AM
Towhee
Redhawk Caldera
Sovereign*
Following her abort! abort! abort! stunt at the borders, Towhee stayed deep within the copse and refused to return to the perimeter until the next day, when surely the coast was clear. She had missed at least two patrols and wanted to get back underway. At the same time, she still really wanted to track down and talk to Niamh. So when she stumbled across her friend's scent en route to the borders, Towhee paused and turned, deciding she would round up her friend and insist she join her for a patrol so they could chat.

When she tracked down Niamh, she saw her friend wasn't alone. Surprise of all surprises, she was with Phox! This time, instead of farting through her face and running away, she froze in her tracks and blinked at the two of them, eyes ping-ponging between their faces, trying to read the room. Were they fighting? Were they about to make out? There was a decided tension in the air but Towhee couldn't get the sense of it just yet.

-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.
Members of Redhawk Caldera are welcome to power-play Towhee (excepting injury or death) for cohesion and continuity, whether or not she's an active participant in a thread. Just tag me!

January 24, 2020, 04:35 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

OMG Have you seen this?
Just...On the topic of Towhee making a noise of聽 deflating baloon that Niamh interpreted as possibly a聽 fart XD
[Image: lemMqIC.png]
SO CUTE. Children can be SO CUTE sometimes.

She could see that she'd struck a nerve, and winced. Niamh hadn't considered the fact that a comment she might feel fine to make- intended purely as a joke- to Towhee, might not be an actual joke when spoken to her brother. It might not have even made Towhee laugh, had she been in on it. Part of her mind assured her that it was fine, and that Phox was just being over-sensitive because he was surely looking for even more reasons to find her unattractive and unsuitable- but that was the part of her that she was trying to grow out of. Towhee had made jokes about practically everything, hadn't she? She'd offered her at-the-time injured and numb leg as a chewtoy for Niamh's unborn children. She'd made jokes about...Well, what else had she made jokes out of? Did Towhee even make jokes about herself, or was Niamh just imagining it now? Regardless, she felt ashamed- still mildly defiant, because she thought she knew Towhee well enough to assume that making that comment about her shouting was fine- and embarassed. She wished Towhee'd been there to get a chuckle about it- or that Towhee had been the one to catch the joke, only Towhee, so that she could be put straight by the source, not by her brother. Life, it seemed, was only getting more and more complicated and for a relatively simple wolf like Niamh, it was like wading into the ocean after only having learned to doggy-paddle in a kiddy pool.聽

She would've laughed. Insisted part of her mind. He's just being a sissy-boy. Trying to be the protective big brother. She'd probably laugh at him too and kick his ass for being so sensitive.

The words wound their way through her mind and she struggled against them. In her mind, she had the idea that it was her and Towhee against the world- that they were invincible, and truth be told, she didn't consider Towhee's deafness to be a handicap whatsoever. It simply meant that sure, she had to be facing her to speak, and that they had their own language so they could communicate things in secret, or if there were words that were harder to read, but...That didn't make her any different. Niamh didn't see Towhee as having a disability. And wasn't that the way Towhee wanted to be seen? Then again...

...Maybe she didn't check in enough to see how being deaf made Towhee feel. Niamh had simply taken that realization in stride, and had done everything she could to learn as much ptero as quickly as possible. She didn't use Towhee's deafness to her advantage in any way- and had she realized that her son had done that more than once, now, she would've given him a thorough talking-to. Niamh assured herself she was doing the right thing...But what she didn't realize was that disabilities or differences of any sort meant that there were a whole universe of other facets to take into consideration. Towhee's hearing loss effected her life, and had forced her to adapt. In Niamh's opinion, she thrived better than most other wolves she'd met. Hell- Towhee had pretty damn near been through hell and back, physically, several times, but had never given up. Towhee's strength and resilience seemed to have no end- so it was easier for her to overlook, completely, the fact that her friend could not hear.聽

What she didn't see were the things that happened, likely, when she wasn't around Towhee. She'd never experienced a world without sound, and while as far as she knew, Towhee had never experienced a world with sound, at least that she could remember (another question she'd never asked) she couldn't possibly imagine what it was like to grow up in Towhee's place. Sound meant so much to Niamh, who detested silence so much that she often said things that got her in trouble just to avoid being uncomfortable. Hunting, guarding, fighting...She relied on her sense of hearing for all of those. But Towhee...Towhee managed despite not having one of her key senses, but Niamh never really saw how she did it. She couldn't feel how Towhee felt when she was surprised by a presence she didn't detect from either sight or smell, or some sixth sense she may have developed. She couldn't feel how Towhee felt whenever she had to try and decipher how someone was really feeling despite the words they were using, as she couldn't hear tone- and if a wolf was trying hard enough, they could hide the expression on their face...But emotions were tangible. Even if a wolf was blind and deaf, emotions were still tangible. She failed to realize all the amazing things that her friend accomplished not just aside from having a hearing disability, but in spite of it. Thus came the issue from being a wolf born with a certain amount of privilege. She couldn't put herself in Towhee's place, not completely. And even in the moments where she felt proud of herself for doing everything she could to make everything normal (while loathing the word) for her interactions with Towhee, she could never really feel things the same way Towhee did.聽

The bottom line through all of it, though, that Niamh did still love Towhee dearly. She loved speaking to her in ptero. She loved speaking with her in Ptero just because they could, and she loved it when they did because they wanted to communicate without an outsider knowing what they were saying. It was special. She loved Towhee's stubbornness and her strength, and the way she would open up and reveal something deeply personal- but none of it mattered to Niamh. Maybe she 'd never been terribly sensitive about Towhee's feelings about her deafness, or when she'd been injured...But she'd started to listen now, especially with reference to the fact that Towhee wanted to have children of her own. She'd had the sense not to simply shrug it off and say the dreaded 'you can always adopt' but the horrible thing, is that the only reason she probably didn't say that was because Towhee already had non-biological children. The circumstances worked out in Niamh's favour; she avoided speaking from a position of privilege and for once, had actually heard her friend's desire, and had interpreted it correctly.聽

But that still didn't mean she knew Towhee completely.聽

Clearly, she didn't know Phox completely, either. Part of her was offended that he was offended. Didn't he know how close she and Towhee were? Towhee was her Person. And she'd been Towhee's Person- she'd been told that, several times. They'd been through so much- so much trauma, so much angst, so much trouble- and she had followed Towhee faithfully. She'd even helped Towhee warm up to the idea of letting Phox back into her life- so shouldn't he see, then, that she knew Towhee? Maybe, she thought, he was offended because she'd made a remark behind Towhee's back. She'd meant simply to joke that perhaps Phox had never gotten used to yelling, because there'd been absolutely no reason for him to put such a thing into practice because his sister would never hear him...Because his sister would never hear him. The thought echoed in her mind for a moment. That was a heavy truth. She shook it off, arrogantly. Phox should have known that she and Towhee were tight enough to make jokes. They were tight enough to make jokes...Right?

Then again...He had been there when Niamh had deserted the two of them so that she could go off and have kids with Colt. It seemed that over time, Towhee had forgiven her- at least to a certain extent...And maybe more, now, since she realized that she yearned to have children herself, which was definitely something very new. Maybe she hadn't ammended things. Maybe Towhee didn't consider her to be her Person anymore- she hadn't said it to her, yet. Not since...Not since she'd ore or less banished Niamh from the pack when she'd said she was moving to the Copse. She felt a heavy feeling in her throat, pulling down toward her chest. Simultaneously, it pulled the corners of her lips down. Maybe Towhee just didn't feel the same way about her, that she felt about Towhee. And maybe Phox knew it.聽

That realization made her feel a slight weakness in her knees, and a slackness in her jaw, but the feeling was fleeting. He mentioned having already apologized- but she couldn't exactly what he'd apologized for...And she had a feeling that he hadn't apologized exactly for what she'd wanted him to apologize for. He hadn't said distinctly that he'd been wrong, and that he'd made a mistake, and that....Well, he just hadn't told her in black and white what she'd wanted to hear, so the apology was more or less forgotten, blurred into the background. She liked to fixate on the very particular things she wanted and what she needed and she felt unsatisfied with his apology. He seemed to think that just because things worked out alright, that everything should just go back to normal, and she shook her head.聽

"It doesn't change how I felt for three months." She said, even though it was somewhat off-topic. He hadn't said anything about her disappearance not mattering. But Niamh tended to pick and choose what she'd heard, and how to interpret them. In her mind, Phox was inferring that nothing mattered now that she was back. "But...How would you have felt, Phox?" She asked, finally saying something in earnest, without a tone of accusation. "Had one of your children just...Disappeared. I know you've been separated from them...And you've lost your mate too," She said, her voice becoming quieter and quieter. Yeah, he'd been through this too. "But...If Fig disappeared, and he was only 5 months old...And had been gone for more than three months....If you found out that I knew he was alive, but didn't tell you...Wouldn't you be angry with me?" She asked. Of course, Phox was a different wolf. But she wanted to see how he saw things- how he might have reacted. She wasn't telling him to see how she felt in that situation- she was asking him how he might have reacted, so that she might understand, better, why he defended his decision.聽

Her focus on the topic had put blinders on her- and in the stillness corrupted by the buzzing of thoughts inside her head, she hadn't noticed the dark form of Towhee standing not far away, appearing more like an artist's deft but beautiful scrape of tricoloured paint against the white snow, her tall form and direct posture made her very much one of the trees that grew up as a tall, straight line like barcode strips against the snow. She felt sheepish, having been caught in the middle of a fairly personal conversation. As far as she knew, Towhee hadn't heard about the confrontation she and Phox had had the other day. As far as she knew, Towhee still wanted to try and convince her that she and Phox ought to get together. And as far as she could presume, Towhee was now possibly witnessing a conversation that was one shared between three- but not all three simultaneously. Ashamed as she was, it didn't surprise her that the reigning emotion she felt, when she realized Towhee was there, was disappointment, knowing that Towhee had hoped Niamh and Phox would make a good match- and that she was potentially ruining her best friend's hopes of their possible engagement.
January 24, 2020, 05:35 PM
Phox
Lone Wolves

I know, Niamh. I've been there. He was really hoping to avoid the "me too" card, but she'd set it up for him too easily. At least he managed to avoid saying that it had been his BLIND daughter who had run off. I would have been angry, and it's valid for you to be angry. Phox felt like he was repeating himself over and over again. Hadn't they already had this conversation? He was beginning to understand why all her past relationships had involved yelling, but he was resolved to keep his cool, at least in that department. Being angry is fine; never forgiving me is fine, but I think if you do the latter, you'll find yourself both angry and without a friend. If she did it to everyone she knew, she'd find herself very, very alone, but he didn't go that far. Phox didn't want to try and predict the future that he couldn't control.

He sighed, and that was when he noticed Towhee's approach. Phox gave her an exasperated look, but he didn't move to sign or say anything to her. In fact, he buttoned right up, realizing this conversation might be one of the few between the three stooges that wouldn't involve all three of them. Or maybe it would. Maybe Towhee would find some way to break the ice and release the tension, thick as fog, that hung in the air.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 24, 2020, 06:07 PM
Towhee
Redhawk Caldera
Sovereign*
Niamh looked utterly crestfallen and Phox looked vaguely murderous. Especially after her brother's exasperated glance, it was tempting to flee back into the shrubbery and leave them to figure it out between themselves. But when Phox remained motionless and Niamh continued to looked down in the dumps, Towhee sensed that she was inexplicably expected to fill in the silence so deafening even she could hear it.

The pressure was building and Towhee was not prepared for any of this, so she blurted the first thing that came to mind: "This doesn't look like time or space." Even as it left her mouth, she felt idiotic. Only Phox would really understand the context and she didn't intend to rebuke him. She grimaced apologetically in the next breath before squawking, "How can I help? I want to help." She paused. "Even if that means turning around and going back to minding my own business."

-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.
Members of Redhawk Caldera are welcome to power-play Towhee (excepting injury or death) for cohesion and continuity, whether or not she's an active participant in a thread. Just tag me!

January 24, 2020, 06:49 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

Niamh failed to see how Phox could have been in the same situation- and still made the decision he'd made. He didn't exactly answer her question- at least, not in the point-blank way that Niamh needed him to do it in order to get his point across. Validating her emotions was normally the right thing to do- but Niamh was feeling fairly pithy and had her one-track mind fixated on getting exactly what she wanted to hear from him- and all she wanted was for him to admit that he'd done the wrong thing. He admitted that he would have been angered, had he been in her position- which might have implied that he might have felt that the decision to withold information about Nellie's existance as being wrong...But he didn't say that. She felt it was the wrong decision, and she wanted him to feel that way too. Whatever it was that he'd apologized for- and she'd forgotten already what that was- it hadn't done the trick. She remained mute, staring abjectly at the ground with her ears tilted back when he spoke down to her about how her life would play out if she continued to act this way. She felt as though he was trying to steer her toward forgiving him, and holding the 'you'll end up friendless and lonely' idea as a warning, or threat, if she didn't smarten up and forgive him. Phox wasn't trying to manipulate her, but she felt it as such, and was fairly sensitive to anything that even vaguely resembled manipulation.聽

Towhee intervened, albeit cautiously, and Niamh wanted so badly for Towhee to simply come in and fix things. So when she offered either to stay and help- as she cared for both of them- or leave, Niamh didn't even think to take Phox's feelings on the matter into consideration, and nodded, gesturing for her to join them. She didn't stop to think how twisted and out of control things could possibly get with Towhee now tangled up in their issue, which now felt vague and confusing at best. But Niamh- as always- wanted Towhee to be on her side, and her habit of twisting the narrative was edging its way into the corner of her consciousness, begging to use whatever it could to get Towhee to choose her over her brother.聽

-S'about Nellie. Phox knew Nellie was alive, with the Frosthawks.- She said. -And when I told him I thought she might be dead...He didn't say nothin' about her being alive. He just let me go on believing that she was dead.- Niamh said, feeling the heavy lump boil and turn over in her throat. She felt that it was a slight against her, that he'd opted to allow her to believe her child was dead. -Nellie made him promise not to tell...She made everyone promise. But she's just a kid. And she thought if someone told me, that I'd drag her back. I'm not the best Mom...But all I needed to know was that she was alive, and being cared for.- She said. She tried her best not to glower at Phox- as he could have, at any point, told her that her daughter was alive...-That's all any parent wants. To know their kids are alive, and that they're okay, no matter where they are.-聽 Her emotions boiled and bubbled until tears pooled in her eyes and seared down her cheeks. -Am I....that...Horrible of a mother...That an entire pack of wolves...Including you, Phox...Decided it was better that Nellie's existence be kept a secret, and that I should just go on believing that she was dead?- She asked, her teeth bared in both anger and hurt. She sheathed them, and stared at the ground, hard. -Because that's how you made me feel.-
January 25, 2020, 04:16 PM
Phox
Lone Wolves

Before Phox even had a chance to squeeze in a word edgewise, Niamh launched into her version of the events.

"And when I told him I thought she might be dead" simply wasn't true. She'd been worried about Nellie, but she'd said nothing of death. Nellie wasn't incapable of living on her own at that age, even if it wasn't the brightest idea... but Phox held his tongue and kept his expression in check.

"But she's just a kid." Was she, though? When she'd been at the Frosthawks, she hadn't been just a kid. And Phox thought labeling her as much was probably unwise. Again, he held his tongue and let his expression remain neutral.

His expression softened when she continued, and he reiterated a few things he'd touched on previously. -Which is why I apologized, Niamh. You never told me you thought she was dead.- Merely missing. -It was a mistake, and I've admitted that. You rejected my apology, remember?- Now he was a little flustered, but he managed to keep himself simmering rather than boiling.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 25, 2020, 05:16 PM
Towhee
Redhawk Caldera
Sovereign*
Niamh spoke first, signing her side of the story. Towhee watched with a carefully neutral expression, although she did have to fight the impulse to throw Phox a surprised glance. He hadn't mentioned Niamh's belief that her daughter was dead, which made the whole thing patently worse. Despite herself, her brow furrowed in consternation over this critical detail and the fact her brother had left it out.

But then it was his turn to speak and he reminded Niamh (and Towhee, by proxy) that she hadn't actually mentioned this particular detail. Towhee's face grew stormier. At first, she had been prepared to defend Niamh against Phox for letting her believe her daughter was dead. But now she wanted to defend Phox from Niamh for holding it against him when she'd never actually told him she'd thought Nellie was dead. Good grief, what a clusterfuck, she found herself thinking.

"It all sounds like a giant misunderstanding," Towhee said slowly. "Niamh, I would've wanted to smack the shit out of Phox too if he let me go on thinking my kid was dead. But it sounds to me like he didn't know you thought that." She paused. "That aside, I did tell him that it was a strange thing to promise. Have either one of you thought to put some of the responsibility on Nellie? I'm not saying you should blame her or punish her or anything like that. But has anyone asked her why the hell she asked Phox to promise this in the first place? Why exactly it was so damn important to her that you," Towhee summarized, locking eyes with Phox, "didn't tell her?" Now her orange gaze moved to Niam, softening a bit. "Something is very off there."

-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.
Members of Redhawk Caldera are welcome to power-play Towhee (excepting injury or death) for cohesion and continuity, whether or not she's an active participant in a thread. Just tag me!

January 28, 2020, 01:24 AM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

Niamh, when she got upset, often had a habit of becoming stubbornly close-minded, and would ceate a heavy stormcloud of emotions but then have the audacity to complain when it rained on her. Phox claimed that he'd apologized- but she didn't feel he'd apologized for the right thing. Dourly, she shrugged one shoulder and dejectedly moved as though to sign more of a reply to him- but ended up deciding not to, sensing that Towhee would then want to weigh in. So she simply signed an offhanded -Whatever.- She still believed that he did not regret choosing to keep his promise to Nellie, despite the pain it caused her, and that, in her opinion, was a very wrong thing to do.聽

Admittedly, Niamh felt a bit bitter at first that Towhee suggested that everything was a misunderstanding. She abjectly disagreed. She knew that Phox had done something that she felt was wrong, but he didn't feel that he'd erred, and that was it. When she repeated what Phox had implied- about him being oblivious about her beliefs about Nellie, she snorted indignantly. -I was talkin' about Colt. An' then mentioned Nellie. Somehow you missed connecting the dots,- She said, with a shrug. -An' for fuck sakes- she was only five months old when she disappeared. She hadn't even lost all her baby teeth yet, an' she was gone for three months before she came back. What the fuck was I s'posed to think?- She challenged. -Either way- whether or not you picked up on how I felt...You knew where she was, an' that she was alive, and you knew I was concerned about her, and that I had no idea where she was, and you knew I didn't know where the fuck she was but you chose not to tell me. Then you defended that decision, an' that's just....Ugh,- She fumed. Towhee went on, then, to question Nellie's motives, but Niamh was still fairly certain that Nellie's hurtful decision wasn't the issue at hand.聽

-Nellie made a bad decision. She was just a kid, an' she'd just lost her Dad. She did the wrong thing- but she was just a kid. Kids fuck up. An' I'd expect that some of the adults in her life at that time, should've had the goddamn sense to set her straight an' at least ask her how she thought she was makin' the rest of her family feel, by running away and not allowing them to send a message sayin' she was OK. But I guess not- neither you nor none of the Frosthawks could be arsed to question a five-month-old child's motives, or go against her childish decision.- She reeled with angst, but avoided, for the most part, glaring straight at Phox. -Fuckin' lunacy.- She felt betrayed not only by him, but by the Frosthawks too. When she did return her gaze to him, it was cooler, but more sad, than angry. -An' that's what I can't forgive. If you still think you did the right thing by keepin' her promise, an' not telling Bronco and I that she was alive...Yeh, I can't forgive you for doin' that an' thinking she was right.- She said, feeling somewhat defeated now. She felt she'd been flogging the dead horse for long enough.
January 28, 2020, 07:37 AM
Phox
Lone Wolves

Phox had thought this, too, about Nellie. Five months old wasn't that far off from being an adult (more like a teenager, in his opinion), but perhaps Niamh still saw her daughter that way. It wasn't his place to tell her to ask Nellie, lest he come off as trying to tell her how to parent her own children. He wondered if she would react the same to Towhee as he suspected she would react toward him.

Niamh, he said pointedly, out loud, without signing. I told you I was wrong. Phox was over it. I'm done. He was a patient wolf, but even the most patient wolves couldn't deal with this. Whatever small spark had been there was smothered out. Phox glanced to Towhee, brow furrowed, before he left without giving Niamh another chance to berate him further. If Towhee wanted to work with her, that was on her. Now it was Phox who needed space.

player preferences
-speaking+ptero- -ptero- speaking
January 28, 2020, 09:47 AM
Towhee
Redhawk Caldera
Sovereign*
Even though Towhee could see both sides of the issue, she felt her jaw clench when Niamh signed dismissively at Phox. Next thing she knew, Niamh was speaking and signing rapidly, most of her dialogue aimed at Phox. She felt her fur prickling as her friend reamed out her brother. Towhee knew it was hypocritical to think, with her own history of melodramatic rows, but she didn't know why they couldn't remain civil. They were all adults.

"It is鈥" she began to say, preparing to agree that everyone covering for Nellie was sort of strange and Towhee definitely understood Niamh's ire there. But then Niamh implied everyone was a fucking lunatic, right before telling Phox, point blank, that she couldn't forgive him unless he apologized for not breaking his promise. The mercenary's mouth clapped shut, teeth grinding again.

Towhee twitched when Phox abruptly departed at that point. She wanted to go after him, though she remained rooted to the spot. He probably needed space, although she would catch up to him soon enough. In the meantime, she peered pensively into the woods where he had gone before slowly swinging her orange gaze back to Niamh.

It seemed like it would be easiest if Phox just said a few measly words, produced the apology Niamh wanted, but... "If he gave you what you wanted, it would be a lie anyway. It would be disingenuous. I'm sure he is sorry for causing you any extra grief and for all this..." Towhee gestured vaguely. "But he kept a promise. It was a hard and shitty and weird promise but he kept it because that's the kind of guy he is. And it was important to your daughter, for whatever reason." Her lips pursed. Surely that meant something. "I totally understand why you're angry too. But I don't think holding it against him will help with that, any more than I really believe an apology would've magically made everything better. It's done and there's nothing else anyone can do about it, except decide where to go from here."

She paused for a long moment, then grimaced and admitted, "I can't say I think you two have a romantic future after this, though we all live together, so I think you should consider trying to forgive him, for your sake as much as his and everyone else's. Holding a grudge will only make you and everyone else miserable. And what's the point of that?" Towhee exhaled, then continued, "And there's one more thing. I really didn't want to get in the middle of this but look where I'm standing. I don't want to be forced to choose a side, so please don't make me. Phox is my brother and my baby daddy," and though she didn't say it, the inference was clear. "I don't want to ever have to make that choice. It's so unnecessary. Right?"

Towhee couldn't help but think of their fight of yore. It had been much, much uglier, making this look like a little lovers' spat. It had taken a lot of time but she had finally forgiven Niamh. Although she didn't say it out loud, she thought it: if they could come back from that, then surely Phox and Niamh could come back from this, in time.

-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.
Members of Redhawk Caldera are welcome to power-play Towhee (excepting injury or death) for cohesion and continuity, whether or not she's an active participant in a thread. Just tag me!

January 28, 2020, 01:05 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

Niamh's ears flicked back when suddenly, she was presented with the answer that she wanted, from Phox- who claimed, then, that this was not the first time he'd admitte error. She opened her mouth to contradict him, and defend her beliefs- but snapped it shut as she panned furiously through her memories, back to the moment when they'd more or less parted ways following a horrible stalemate. She nodded her head- no, she was right.聽

"I appreciate that you respected my daughter's wishes. But as long as you still believe that you did the right thing, in keeping your promise to Nellie, rather than saving me from believing she was dead- I'll never forgive you."

She'd proposed an ultimatum. Andf while she naturally didn't remember things verbatim, the point she could clearly remember making was that if he couldn't admit that what he'd done was wrong, that she would never forgive him. His reply, naturally, came to her as clear as day.聽

Then I guess that's that,

Towhee's words mostly went over Niamh's head as she stared, hard, after Phox. Towhee had at least shown that she too would have empathized with Niamh's case over Phox's, or at least, so Niamh thought. And unfortunately, Niamh was too involved in her own thoughts to hear much of Towhee's mild warning, about bringing her between the two of them. All she could think about, now, was the fact that Phox had finally given her what she'd been after. He made it seem like he'd said the same before- but she was fairly sure he hadn't. She heard a question, though,and naturally, given that it was coming from Towhee, she nodded in agreement. But then she brought the topic right back around to where it had been before.聽

-He'd never said that before.- She signed, stubbornly still fixated on the issue that she believed was at hand. Her features were softer. -I...I told him I wouldn't forgive him, if he never admitted he was wrong...But he just did, but then he stormed off,- She said, puzzled. She shrugged, the tension lifting off her shoulders. She shook her head. -That's all I needed from him. He took a big issue with it, right up until now...I think knowing that you weren't convinced he made the right decision is what made him reconsider, an' realize that he should'na just...Done what Nellie wanted.- She said. She shook her head again. -I wanna go tell him I forgive him, now...But I figure he kinds needs some space.-
January 28, 2020, 01:26 PM
Towhee
Redhawk Caldera
Sovereign*
Niamh didn't agree with her. Actually, it didn't seem like she was actually paying that much attention, now that Towhee took a moment to breathe and look at her friend. That kind of rankled, though before Towhee could mire herself any further in her resentment at being dragged into this in the first place only to be disregarded, Niamh spoke again.

Apparently, Phox had said something just prior to storming away. He'd evidently said the magic words. Towhee felt a flare of frustration and fought not to roll her eyes at the two of them. Just like that, Niamh was ready to let him off the hook for it and forgive him, yet he'd already left. They were such a soap opera.

"I think space is a good call. I need some space from this too," Towhee announced. "I love you guys but damn." Shaking her head and muttering under her breath, Towhee made her own abrupt departure.

-Signing.- | "Speaking." | -"Signing & speaking."- | "Mouthing (inaudible)." | Thoughts.
Members of Redhawk Caldera are welcome to power-play Towhee (excepting injury or death) for cohesion and continuity, whether or not she's an active participant in a thread. Just tag me!

January 29, 2020, 02:56 PM
RIP Niamh
Approved Members

Niamh had more or less relt a break in the tension, until Towhee admitted that she needed space too. This caused Niamh some alarm, and she couldn't help but wonder...Did she just want space in general, or just space from her? She couldn't help but show a bit of her hurt when Towhee came to that conclusion, but she nodded along, willing to to anything to try and fix Towhee's feelings, though she did worry now that involving her friend...Had not been a good idea whatsoever. Maybe Towhee thought less of her, for having brought her between herself and Phox. -Yeah...Okay...Take care, okay?- She said, trying to sound both caring but casual, as her friend walked away, aware that Towhee probably didn't even care to interpret Niamh's concerned farewell.聽

Deflated, Niamh sighed, turned, and walked toward the borders. If nothing else, she could be somewhat useful there, and she hoped that the long walk would help her settle her mind.