Moonspear i’m through with bibles, and i’m through with food

following Hydra’s howl!

for some time now, arcturus had known of @Dragomir’s worth to moonspear. he enjoyed their teaching sessions, and had found him a steadfast learner. someday, dragomir would become a true mountaineer — it seemed that fortunate hour drew closer than ever by the minute.

he sought out the boy in particular — Isilmë he scarcely knew, but assumed they might be together. his goal was to invite both — but particularly dragomir — to their first hunt as true adults. with game slowly returning to the wilderness, arcturus had high hopes in their endeavor, and wished to celebrate the ceremonious occasion with something of significance.

@Isilmë

Dragomir could be found standing proud upon a high promontory, looking out over the windswept forests and plains far below. Hydra's howl had been for him and his sister and it had choked him up so much he couldn't return it himself; even now his eyes pricked with unshed tears and his throat felt tight. It felt like only yesterday, they were being led up to the colossal Spear by their father, he with legs stiff and atrophied from disuse, his sister fierce and protective. It felt like only yesterday, yet so much had changed.

Now Isilmë was the worn and weary one. Now Dragomir was the fierce protector. Now Vercingetorix was gone, and Aurëwen, lost to the wind. The boy drew a long breath in through his nostrils, then exhaled. His family as he once knew it was no more, but he was Moonspear now, and they were the only family he needed. He whisked his past away on a sigh, vowing to look only to the future from now on. In time, he descended from his perch, flush with honour to be accepted to their ranks proper in such a fashion.

He was looking for his sister when he came upon Arcturus, but Dragomir was always eager to share the Beta's company. He could find Isilmë later, or maybe they would find her together. Arcturus, he called, waving his tail as he loped down the steep path to flank the Beta, ears and head held appropriately low, but eyes alight with his joyous pride. What're you up to?

the boy -- now a child no longer -- wore his pride well. arcturus halted as he came upon dragomir, the warmth of his sunny gaze inspecting the young delta. how fulfillment and dignity emanated from him, like the pleasing rays of sunshine -- it was distinctive, and almost palpable.

he fanned his tail in casual greeting. "i was looking for you and your sister. to congratulate you." arcturus peered past the delta, to the slopes he had just been commandeering. "you are quite different from the wolf that i first met. i think you are ready to join me -- on a real hunt."

Oh, Dragomir said, struggling to hide the huge grin tugging at the corners of his lips. To be congratulated! It was a wonderful feeling. Thank you! His opinion was that he still had so much work to do to be worthy of the pack's upper echelon, but he was prepared to do it. His mettle was rough around the edges and plagued with self doubt, but at his core, Dragomir was resilient and would one day grow out of all that.

Surprised eyes flew to the Beta's face when Arcturus mentioned a hunt, a proper one. Are you sure? he asked. When he was very, very little he had watched Diaspora hunt from afar, but since then he hadn't had the opportunity to be part of any large scale hunts. He was okay at catching small prey but much better at tracking it. Hunting something for real, running with a comrade...

Well, it frightened him a little bit. We really don't have much practice, he pointed out, and that was even if Isilmë joined them.

dragomir's smile elicited a light grin in rejoinder, for the boy's expression was infectious -- and well merited. arcturus' tail swayed as he listened to the delta's response, reading the surprise that lingered in his hazel eyes. "yes," he reaffirmed, his tone one of confident earnest. it was about time the young man be introduced to bigger game, and there was often no other way to do so than trial by fire.

arcturus thought for the briefest moment he detected a hint of uncertainty in dragomir, but if it was there then, it was gone now. he stood at attention, stretching out one right hind leg as he spoke. "best way to get practice, is to do. come -- i found tracks of a small band of bighorn above the rendezvous. have you attended a hunt before you came to moonspear?"

Well, he couldn't argue with Arcturus' logic. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Vercingetorx hadn't taught his kids to sit idly by while opportunities escaped them, even if he hadn't been around long enough to see that properly enforced. Dragomir shook off his misgivings with a literal shake of his ruff while the Beta stretched his leg and delivered his next question.

I think, he said, scrunching his forehead while he thought back, I got to watch my pack hunt one time, but I've never been part of one. And he hadn't seen one since, putting him squarely in the about as experienced as a baby category. At least he knew what a bighorn sheep was.

as dragomir shook out his silky coat, arcturus glanced along the mountainside in contemplation. the boy spoke of his past life, mentioning a hunt he had once witnessed. this served as better than nothing at all -- for sometimes, watching was all one could do to learn.

"that is good. well -- the first reality of hunting big game," arcturus mantled smoothly up the slope, motioning for dragomir to follow him - "is that you will fail more often than you succeed." he took in a breath of the chilling mountain air, a threadbare smile lingering along his lips. "come to peace with that, and your mind will be much quieter as you hunt. more focused. we may win today -- or we may not -- remember that our quarry wants to win just as much as we do." the scent of ram was thin as the cold air here. arcturus bent to the snow to inspect it -- stale, but not too old.

"do you know how we bring down prey larger than us?"

Dragomir angled into Arcturus' direct path as the Beta led them uphill, choosing to follow the man's footsteps directly for the climb. He was pleased to note that climbing the mountain's tamer slopes now felt no more strenuous than walking on flat earth. He still had a long way to go before he could master the highest peaks, but he was able to get around most of the territory with little trouble. Sometimes when it was really cold his leg would seize up and pain him. Most days, he was fine.

Bobbing his head, Dragomir tried to think back to that hunt in Diaspora. He couldn't recall if the pack failed or succeeded. He couldn't recall much of anything, actually. Kazimir was hurt, he remembered that, but the exact way that it happened eluded him. Did they catch their prey, or didn't they? He didn't know anymore. Is it worth the effort if we fail? he asked. Surely small game was easier to catch and took less effort. As it turned out, Dragomir hadn't eaten a lot of big game since leaving Diaspora, either.

Arcturus' question was met with a curious frown. Not really, no, he realized. He had ideas about it but, having never put those skills into practice, he actually knew next to nothing. Just chase them til they get too tired to run anymore? It was the complete opposite of what he'd do with a small prey animal, which required a quick burst of speed or it'd be lost, so he thought it was a good place to start.

arcturus considered dragomir's query as the boy fell in step behind him. their going was unfettered, and even arcturus noticed dragomir kept up with his stride with no noticable mincing. "a good question - a wise one." arcturus's breath billowed along his thin muzzle like dragonsmoke. the air here was cold -- getting colder. "there are times when you are starving that you want to keep your energy conserved. we are hungry -- but not starving -- and we can hardly pass up the chance to eat more than rotten meat or mouse this time around. i'm rather sick of both, aren't you?"

dragomir's suggestion they tire their prey out was not without merits. "where there is a group of us, that is often what we do. one forerunner will harry, the others will hound -- in deep snow it is easiest to take turns, and for those recovering to follow in the large game's tracks. but not all prey can be run to exhaustion. we tire too -- it is best to bring down large prey as soon as possible, for when we are tired, we make mistakes -- possibly costly ones." arcturus had made many in his life, and even had a few knocks in his skull to prove it. "for most large game, you lunge for the hock to bring them down. they can kick you or drag you, so your timing must be precise -- and careful."

I guess, Dragomir conceded. No point mentioning that rotting cache meat and small animals were his main food source. If there was something better out there, he hadn't partaken in a very long time. He listened and nodded along, but didn't have anything else to say on the subject. He had questions but figured they would be better answered by actually participating in a hunt. No better way to learn than by doing. Vercingetorix would've said that, but it was Dragomir's philosophy as well.

Being kicked or dragged didn't sound like his idea of a success story, and he kept it in mind as they reached the higher expanses and began closing in on the bighorns. And what's the best when there's only two of us? he wondered, for Isilmë had yet to show. Probably she wasn't even at home. She'd been wandering away quite often, and he wasn't going to be the one to stop her. If it kept her sane, she was welcome to do whatever she needed, as long as she came home to him in the end.

arcturus was not one to wait - not even for isilme. he chuckled dryly at dragomir, answering his query in true moonspearian fashion - gritty and candid.

we hope it trips and falls, and breaks its neck. sometimes you can startle them enough they lose their footing, and the rocks do the job for you. while not always successful arcturus had filled his belly more than once with such methods. so, now that you are a learned man — is this an endeavor you wish to partake in?

A simple explanation was all it ever took. Dragomir, who was nervous about the dangers of going after large game as a duo, suddenly felt his gut swoop uncomfortably. He hadn't thought of the merits of sending prey crashing down the mountainside but it made sense. A flash of nauseating anxiety crackled across his mind as he recalled, very invasively, how effective it'd been when Merrick threw him off the cliff and how easily he could've died if his broken bones nicked an artery...

No, stop it, he berated himself. It's not the same. It's just prey.

He realized his nape was prickling and took a long, steadying breath. The air was thinning. They must be getting close. He was getting better these days about admitting his limitations, but he was loathe to admit to Arcturus that the thought of startling something off the mountain cut a little too close to the bone for his liking given his experience with it, so he simply nodded and said, yeah, of course. He had to get over it. That one experience didn't define him and he couldn't let it control him.

if arcturus knew just a bit more of dragomir's backstory, he would have felt needled with guilt to inspire such feelings of free-falling anxiety in the moonspearian. he was aware that possibly, dragomir was uncomfortable -- but stupidly, the beta just chalked it up to first-timer jimmies.

the beta had already turned to look towards their quarry, and missed the prickling of fur that wreathed dragomir's neck. he took in a deep breath, already filled with the excitement of the hunt. nothing cleared his mind like hunting did -- it was like for the duration of the endeavor, his mind and all of its troublesome thoughts were wiped clean. where none of his mortal troubles mattered: just him, the huntsman -- and the hunted.

he nodded, picking his way up the slope. the scent of ram was thicker here, but not all-together indicative the beast was figuratively next-door. it would likely be a half-hour's hike before they came across the beast, and in that time arcturus would happily answer any questions dragomir had.

How strange, thought Dragomir as he marched in lockstep with Arcturus, my paws are tingling. In fact, he felt a little bit like he was floating with no legs beneath him at all. His mouth grew more dry the further they went, and when they finally spotted the bighorns, everything about him felt weird and airy. His body didn't feel like it belonged to him anymore. He could almost say he felt like he was floating overhead, watching the pair of them from a distance, even though he was right there.

It'd been a long time since he last felt so out of touch with his own reality, and he knew it was incredibly dangerous to hunt in this state, but he couldn't get his tongue to move in order to say it. There was a glassy, vacant quality to his gaze that Arcturus might notice if he was paying close enough attention; otherwise, Dragomir merely mimicked every move the Beta made, watching without truly seeing anything except the cliff on which the bighorns milled, and a phantom recollection of his body bouncing down, playing in his mind as if viewed by a bird overhead.

dragomir fell behind him faithful as a shadow. the further they climbed, the further his breath came in short excited bursts -- to hunt! there was no purer purpose.

soon the bighorns came into view, and arcturus stopped to take in the grand vista, a glorious smile on his face as he turned to his packmate to speak.

that smile fell from him like a soul vanquished, when he saw the condition of dragomir's eyes -- the way they focused vacant and glassy, a fear in them not unlike the fear he had seen in fish removed from water.

instinctively the beta turned his flank towards the yearling, obscuring the view of the ram (and unintentionally, the view of the horrifying drop). "dragomir," came arcturus' alarmed and short bark, tinged with worry. "what is wrong?"

he did not wait for answer; with a bark the male descended back down the slope, instructing dragomir to follow him. he knew not what demons plagued the yearling's mind in that minute, but the hunt was off -- they would resume it some other day, when dragomir was well and ready.

cursing himself for not thinking critically of dragomir's needs, arcturus lingered for a while after dragomir settled down near the rendezvous. he would tell no one of the troubling aura he had seen enclose dragomir on those high steppes, but next time, arcturus would try a different tactic -- one not involving dazzling heights.