Seaside Moors around your soft neck

someone must search for the missing.
erzulie paced a semi-circle around her den in the quiet hours before dawn, thinking of how she might best approach the departure. @Rosalyn could not leave, not now. soon to be more children.
but this could not go on, and haunted, erzulie stared toward the glinting expanse, wishing for a selfish breath that her heart might harden against the continual pain.

It settled on her more this year, but in a gentler, more tired capacity.  She did not feel as large as she had before - perhaps she was not done growing, or perhaps the novelty had worn off.  This year had been meant to be different.  She'd hoped the stress, the anger, all of it wouldn't touch this batch as it had the last.  But with Reyes, and now Raleska, disappeared... she couldn't find it in her heart to look forward to much of it.  Not right now.

What had started as a contest, mother against mother, had turned to something else entirely.  She hadn't felt this gutted since... she couldn't recall.  Perhaps her time in captivity, but even then, it had been her own life in peril.  No comparisons, then.

Silently, Rosalyn stepped slowly and awkwardly out.  She moved forward and shifted to her side.  There were a few things that could have kept her up like this; she guessed she knew the cares that rested on her wife's shoulders.

"i should prepare myself for arcelia an' solaire to leave," erzulie muttered toward her mate, careful to keep voice low pitched despite her grief. "an' raleska."
the words felt as if they were shards of glass within her throat. 
"de fat'er of her children is a man of drageda." and i drove her away.

Of last year's children, so many gone.  Even Nieve, who had disappeared just as suddenly as Reyes... only without the warning signs her son had displayed.  Rosalyn closed her eyes.  A part of me wishes I could save myself the trouble, she replied, voice soft and dulled.  But it's too far along now.  It was a wicked thought, but with all they'd lost, she couldn't help but think it.  Raising them only to disappear into a world too full of uncertainty to care.

The father was of Drageda.  Rosalyn felt a flush of anger, but it was followed by a deeper well of sorrow.  She told me nothing. She answered, and the words bit.  After everything...  She thought of last year, speaking with the girl.  They'd discussed names, how she would train Rosalyn's children, how perhaps one day she'd have some of her own.  Things had been different since Caiaphas' death, and somehow the pirate knew she'd lost her.  She felt the heat of tears that she refused to let fall.

So what now?  She asked, voice rough.  But she as she did she moved closer, seeking the comfort of touch.

she was jarred, but only momentarily. it was the second time their children would be born into such a moment. after it all, however, she and rosalyn had remained consistent. "maybe i am foolish to be so worried," she sighed. "children must leave de home at some point." it was unlike nieve and clementine had since remained, but reyes, marisol, scarab; had they not departed and returned again.
an embrace now; she breathed against her wife and sought to steady them both.
"i said enough to her about it. she wanted to tell him." a breath. "perhaps she left the last time to do dat." she could not know the travails suffered by the girl; erzulie considered only that the young woman was now alone and with child. "we continue, rosalyn. we must. we will have more children," and here she kissed the scarred cheeks, "and when de girls are a bit older, i will go down de coas' an' see about finding what i can."

It wasn't fair that every year seemed to dissolve into strife.  Maybe it was foolish to seek that their children stay, but was a goodbye too much to ask?  And to have Nieve, of all, leave without it.... and Raleska, who had been here from the start.  It boded ill, and Rosalyn felt a nausea that for once had nothing to do with the life she carried.

She breathed out, trying to steady.  I wish I could go, she said, but she knew better.  Neither she nor Erzulie could leave, not with their numbers so few and the children so young.  And she especially.  But you are right.  As usual. At that she smiled, a little more genuine.  There was nothing she could do to fill the hole left ragged, but as long as they were together, they'd continue.

They are growing quickly, she remarked, glad to move on to an easier subject.  And just like that, thinking of the children they still had, she felt a throb of guilt over the thought she'd had only a moment before.  Her moods seemed to change swifter now, and it was hard to tell what might set them off.  I'm looking forward to the day when we can take them to the shore.  And soon, they'll have company.  There was a hesitant apology in her tone, and she gave Erzulie a swift touch to the cheek back before turning to peer at her flank.  Perhaps not much, though.  I do not feel as many.

to rosalyn's pronouncement, erzulie gave a soft gasp, kissing her mate's scarred cheeks. "that is good news, good news, my love," she whispered, relieved for the upbeat change in their dour meet. "can i ask who you chose dis time?" the harlot inquired, wondering if her pirate had chosen someone close or a man unknown.
it mattered not; for all of them, for each child born into their fold, erzulie would be mama and rosalyn maman. that was the way of things, and she saw no reason to change how she had always done things with her wife. "i look forward to meeting dem."

Safe ground, now.  Rosencrantz, she answered, something new entering her expression... satisfaction.  This year, unlike last, she'd had no qualms about her choice of father.  She assumed Erzulie would approve.  He reminds me of a man I knew, once... and if this will be my last, it was a good end to it.  Finally humor.  Not the last tryst, but the last heat.  It had been too short... too late.... for her to count on another.

I think with the summer.  It was late this year.  She couldn't wait to meet them either.  And while a lot of her was afraid.... she knew she'd love them again, wholly and completely.  Just as she did Erzulie's, and just as she had all the rest.

erzulie was not surprised to know it was rosencrantz had been chosen by her wife. she was, however, intrigued to experience a warm inclination toward the man. he would be a good father, the harlot believed, for he respected rosalyn and herself, as well as rusalka in totality.
"i am glad we did dis again toget'er," she murmured in a fierce rush of love for her pirate. "you are a good mot'er and deserve de chance until you no longer be wantin' it."
she kissed rosalyn's scarred cheeks, smiled roguishly. "tell me about dis man," she teased gently, though mintglow eyes suggested, always, that it was her mate's choice to disclose.

Rosalyn smiled, but she knew at a place she could not explain... this was to be her last.  It was too quick, and too late.  Like dying embers, stoked to their final glow before disappearing in the wind.

He told me it was his only wish, and yet he was so unsure when I asked. she said, with humor at the memory.  It had been a sight to see.  She hadn't expected anything to rock him off kilter.  There was nothing unsure after.  This was said with a low chuckle, pressing closer to her wife.  There was a great deal of comfort, even after all these years, in being able to joke about such things so freely.

fade w ur next post? <3

"men nevah be knowin' what dey want," erzulie observed dryly, kissing her wife a third time, for no reason but that she was able to give so great a display of love. "an' right now, i t'ink we should spoil ourselves wid what is in de caches." she would return to hunting soon enough.
for now, the thought of a meal with her pirate whilst they lay together flushed her with delight, and she arched a brow, awaiting rosalyn's response.

Aye, she responded, stretching and then moving to follow.  Funny to think on; the ones who did tended to take without restraint, and the ones who didn't were cautious to the point of reluctance.  Was it so hard for a man to just speak his thoughts?

A path for another time.  She dropped it and instead would enjoy a meal with her wife, slipping into the afternoon hours in the peaceful bliss of beloved company.