Porcupine Ridge All that I am has been given to someone who needed it more

@Memory random, opportunistic thread @Reiko (for reference)

 

With the sun's rise came golden beams, slanting through the rose canopy overhead. Timid winds stirred as the chidrag's snow-blanketed crown peeked from within the shadows of her earthen den. 

She'd left herbs for Cordelia, food for the dark nestlings under her care.

With arrangements laid in place, and no ties to hold her back, the botanist fled her tentative home on quickened steps, bated breath. Even beyond the invisible threshold, where Memory's arrival had gone so horribly awry, she didn't quite feel safe - not until she was well beyond the stone walls of the fishbowl sanctuary. 

"Memory?" her whispers would echo raspily along the stone walls and mountain passages as the pale mother bounded north. Wispy auds high and cupped, listening, wide seelie gaze sweeping searchingly. 

"Reiko?" 

They were friends - the lady'd said so herself. And when a friend was in trouble, you helped them.

More over, the true Empress of the Vale was Awenfen's patient - it was her obligation to keep her Lady, and her unborn children, safe. 

Perhaps the others were fooled by the Izuka impersonator but the midwife knew better. There was something amiss with Reiko's twin and with her Empress missing, the halfling could only imagine the worst. 

She would search for Reiko, given that nobody else seemed to be currently, regardless of the dangers that lurked beyond the Vale. Her absence wasn't likely to be noticed: a lonely hermit of a botanist, hiding amongst the cherry trees in peaceful solitude. 

She would need the aid of a soldier, for precautionary measures. Who better than a dispersal Nightwalker, a renegade strategist of war such as Memory? 

"Mem-ory!" Awen dared to hiss a little louder as she delved deeper into the mountainside. "Reiko!"

It was all for naught. The pregnant shewolf had never returned, and the sister pack had turned him away as well. He was a rogue. Awen had confirmed his suspicion, and he stayed,  hoping that perhaps the snakelike shewolf would be dumb enough to show her face, if she did, he was going to happily remove it. 
His worry fell to Fen as well...if the pack was unstable, if Hime was as murderous as she appeared, Awenfen was in danger. 
He perked up as he heard her voice, padding towards her before wrapping her in an embrace. 
"I didn't think they would let you see me again." He whispered. "Something is very wrong with that pack, Fen. That shewolf...I know her kind. And it never ends well for whoever gets in the way of what they want." And what they usually wanted was power. 
He knew she was afraid. He knew she would probably say no. But he had to try. 
"They won't let us have a family. Not like this. I went to the sister pack as well...they won't listen. No one will listen." He stared into her eyes, silently praying to whichever god was more likely to listen.

The waif started as Memory materialized, from somewhere beyond the stone walls up ahead, returning his embrace with a gasp of relief. However, her muscles soon turned to stone as she tensed in his arms - recoiling anxiously from him as the river of words cascaded over her, inspiring alarm. 

"Ye vent ta Kaistle-oki?" Awenfen had no idea he'd even been aware of the alliance between the sister packs, though he'd clearly been unware of the shared territory between the two. "Ach, zey are our sisters; ye cannot join one if'n ze ozer turns ye away." 

"Vhat are ye talkin' 'bout?" Wide, apprehensive eyes of seelie silver rose to meet amber in muted horror as she stumbled back a step. 

"Vhat family? Mem-ory, ve barely know each ozer," she lilted softly, confusion and fear abounded within her wavering octaves - wondering if this was more of that dark side she'd glimpsed at the Vale's borders, if he was domineering and possessive as he seemed. 

"Zen we must fin' ze Lady Reiko, she 'as been miss-ing for sever-al days," Awen murmured determinedly, jaw setting as she shook off the strangeness of this particular encounter. The soldier was mistaken; she wasn't afraid. 

She was afire.

"Zis is 'ow ye prove yerself ta ze Empire. 'elp me fin' ze Empress." 

"Did the guards of Kaistle-oki make any mention of Reiko vhen ye came calling?" Her intensity was palpable as pearlescent optics fixed upon his ruined features.

Well he knew they were sisters...now. before he had thought they were just a convenient nearby territory. But he wasn't a trained spy and assassin for nothing. It was easy enough to deduce. Packs that close to each other were either bitter rivals trying to swallow each other, or were allied. 
Her look of alarm at his mention of a family made him falter. Had he misjudged? Was her kindness merely that? But she had asked... hadn't she? 
"I...I'm sorry. I assumed you were...more interested in me than you apparently are. My mistake." He was withdrawn suddenly, confused and uncertain. Courting males was easy. They were straightforward and obvious. But females had so much guesswork to them! "I...I obviously don't belong there. With them. Or with you. The only hand in those politics I'll have is ripping that snake's head off if I see her again." He was angry and frustrated. Isolated. There was a reason why Kerla went mad- a wolf without a pack was vulnerable. He didn't bother asking his second question, because now he definitely knew the answer. He was an idiot, rash, impulsive and unstable. 

I kinda blew my chances of joining ooc so....

Her enthusiasm dampened under the harsh downpour of his unexpected rejection. Wasn't this what he wanted?

To join the Empire - regardless of whatever status they might have together? Hadn't he expressed a desire for a fresh start, when she'd said he shouldn't leave his people?

"I do like ye, Mem-ory, it's just..ve just..ve're pract-ically strangers.." the fae stuttered in her attempts to explain. 

You speak as if we're already mated, as if we've already decided to have a plethora of pups. And.. "...and I don't know. I.." ..may not even be able to have pups anymore. 

Wilting under the pressure, her form seemed to cave inwards - as if she were shrinking under the weight of anxiety. 

Stunned speechless, all the battered woman could do was listen mutely as he continued to speak - pale gaze flinching at the brute's violence as her gaze hardened, like the moonstones of the Quarry. 

"I see," she said at last, nodding woodenly though even she could sense what a lame answer that was. "Zen ye should fin' yer place, vhere ye belong." There was no malice, no bitterness. Just the withdrawn, soft-spoken wisp of before - confused and compliant. 

"I vill fin' Reiko," the girl murmured softly, resolute. 

She'd make the trip to Kaistleoki herself, consequences be damned; it made sense anyways, Kaistleoki were their closest allies. If anyone might have intel on the missing Empress - it was the river wolves. Briefly, her mind wandered to possible reinforcements - conjuring up thoughts of @Yuudai or maybe @Collision - but it was too late to turn back now, suppose the imposter caught her. 

"I'm sorry ye didnae fin' yer new start," Fen lilted, glancing at the ruined dark man one last time. 

Burying it down with the rest of the broken things, the northron fled - bounding on into the dissipating mist of the morn. 

Hopefully, it cloaked her from his sight as she galloped on - hiding any hurt from sight.

tags for reference

The hurt on her features is like a knife in his chest. 
He hadn't wanted this. He hadn't wanted any of this. 
The words spilled out of his mouth before his brain could stop them and he was screaming internally. She was afraid of him. 
He really was a demon. He had spent all his time trying to run away from monsters when the only monster was.... himself. 
She pulled away and he wanted to chase after her, wanted to stop her. 
No. One so fair and timid was better off without him. He didn't deserve her. 
He took a few faltering steps after her but she was gone, his heart snatched away with her.