Snowforest Taiga righteous children

looking for a quantity partner!
being vague about location, etc.

a salamander slithered through the muddy bank, crawling over alsek's toes, and into the murky waters of the creek. when really trying, the blackbird could almost see its vibrant patterns — rings of red and gold, decorating a body of brown — though by the time he noticed them, it was already covered in a thick layer of earthy muck. he watched the strange creature for however long he was able (mere seconds, most likely), then turned his attention elsewhere, to the sparse groups of fish swimming the water's edge. each one looked different from the next; while some were silver and slight, others were broad, smeared with varying quantities of obsidian. so they looked different, but did they feel different, too? he reached an exploratory paw into the stream, albeit with noted apprehension, but quickly pulled away with a gasp upon feeling one slippery spine.

what else lived beneath the water's surface? few inhabitants were presently visible, affording only a small glimpse into their foreign world. alsek wanted to see more, wanted to know more! to alsek's knowledge, his assumed caregiver(s) weren't close enough to see him, so no one would be around to scold him for being bold.. right? he didn't give himself time to doubt, and instead pushed his head under the water for a quick look. well, he hadn't considered that breathing was necessary and inhaling water wasn't an option because no one had thought to teach him yet. thus, as one might assume, his first attempt at diving lasted hardly any longer than a second. the scorned discoverer re-emerged into the open with a violent cough, spurning the remaining liquid from his nose.

the added theatrics of hacking and heaving, arching and lurching, acted as some placebo, soothing alsek's initial shock. though not immediately willing to return to his prior post, the soft plop! of curious fish at the water's surface beckoned him onward. each step taken toward their theatre was slow and calculated, and on his face was an expression similar to that of a seriously unimpressed mother. how dare you, he might have asked, were he able to form the words, scaring me in that way? 

he stopped just short of the bank, pushing his body forward into pointer's pose for a somewhat clear look at the goings-on. several new characters had appeared: a blissfully carefree frog wading atop fallen leaves, a snake which slipped sneakily below, and a waterbird sat across, spectating in the same manner. alsek chirped to the bird, admiring its graceful stance and reflective wings; almost opalescent were the waterbird's feathers, shining effortlessly beneath the high noon sun. alsek yipped again, this time causing the beast to widen its wingspan, fully exposing its grandeur to any present and watching. both impressed and intimidated, he stepped backward, lowering himself into submission as though guided by some buried instinct.

eventually, the bird gathered its meal and took flight, giving alsek unspoken permission to proceed.. with caution, of course. bye, bye, he called after it, though his final salutation went unanswered. the offense was forgotten hardly a breath after, his attention having shifted by then to the frog which had floated almost out of sight. alsek paced down the bank to meet the green monk on its journey, greeting it with a soft-spoken, hi. his steps quickly fell into rhythm with the creek's flow, and after mustering some confidence, he continued: my name's alsek. what's your name?

although remarkably patient for a child his age, alsek could only wait for so long before needing the conversation to become interesting. the frog still hadn't answered after several steps, then several more, and some more.. giving him no other option but to ask again: what's your name? he imagined that its answer might be hoobie, and using that made-up information, he decided to ask another question. where are you going? alsek asked. to see the blackbird, hoobie might have replied. maybe.. i go 'to see the blackbird', too! this time, rather than imagining a response, he allowed himself to believe that the absence of 'no' meant 'yes' by default. poor logic, but who cares?

about twenty minutes later, their journey finally reached its assumed end. hoobie's float bounced once, twice, against the bank before getting caught on an upright piece of driftwood. that was on purpose, right?; alsek assumed so, anyway. hoobie remained stationed atop the float, completely unmoving and apparently dazed. assuming his friend needed some help, alsek opened his mouth the grab the frog, then placed it gently down onto the ground. you okay? he asked, to the blackbird, okay? he nudged the frog with an encouraging paw, then sat on his hindquarters to give hoobie some privacy.

the day's second lesson: frogs are fast.

by the time alsek noticed hoobie finally starting to move, he'd already leapt completely out of sight without leaving any clue as to which direction he might have gone. of course, wanting to find both the frog and the blackbird, alsek ran in whichever direction felt most correct, calling to his lost companion: wait, hoobie! he went right, then spun to go left, running until his immature joints ached from the effort. why would hoobie leave him? the answer wasn't one alsek could ever expect to find, but he still asked himself that question, hoping that an answer might conjure itself. 

the shallow opening of an abandoned den peeked from behind rotted cover with an intriguing glance. unfamiliar scents lingered, though they were faint, almost indiscernible, and there weren't any obvious sounds to warn him away. alsek was too tired and naive to consider that someone might be soon returning to this den, displeased with his sudden appearance, so instead of walking away, he walked forward. furs lined the den's floor, each corner decorated with a different flower. had someone left this here, just for him? alsek imagined that his mother was inside waiting for him to settle into a nap, and with that thought, he drifted blissfully into dreamland.

1,012!

She had been searching frantically for the little one, Since she had heard of Grezig's death. Little Alsek...the one whos life she had saved. The one she had promised Grezig she would protect. 
she was at the River searching for Cattails when she caught it...a scent of a pup. But no mother attached to it? 
Frowning in concern she abandoned her search for the herbs and followed the trail along the river, and then through a meadow. She almost missed it twice, having to double back to search again- she never was very skilled at tracking or hunting. 
But there...in a well decorated, and we'll kept...den. A shivver of nervousness ran down Aphrodite's spine. It was almost unheard of for rogues to have pups... especially not surviving ones. 
Deciding this pup was either lost, or stolen, she cautiously poked her head into the den. "Hello? Little one?" She whispered gently.

wc;1081. damn this is a heavy post my apologies lol. [lil tag for ref]

she crouches wordlessly by the minute figure laying lifelessly by pale furred toes. it's body consisting of such intricate delicacy that the whistle of the breeze stirring at downy feathers is enough to make you gasp a second guess that perhaps life did still course through that tiny vessel, powering not only its ability to fly and soar and sing but to discover and wonder and love. but then the sprightly air abandons them and the stillness slinks back in like a hungering scavenger, laying itself greedily across the dead. she does not know why it lays in the grass' gentle caress, the body seeming in perfect condition to the confused eye and if it were not for that deathly quiet, you would not believe that death could have a place here. it simply does not make sense, and that in itself sparks rage within her. it is one thing for the loss of life to come as a result of something, the ridiculous 'circle of life', old age, injury...but this? for a young bird, probably only just after leaving the confines of its nest to see the world that gleamend and enthralled, to just die?

the world had no right to claim this life, just like it had no right to still the beat of her papa's heart and the longer she spends blinking upon the chilled body, the more and more her mind reels at the sheer audacity of it. this child, born to die. "why?" she demands, glaring upon the pastel skies, dotted with lazy clouds shifting languidly by without a care for the soul that had been snuffed out like a mere candle. thoughts and dreams..moods and feelings all just squashed from existence with that final beat of a tiny heart. what had its last moments been like? had it known it was gonna die? was it scared or perhaps oblivious to the darkness that prowled after it. its last moments spent blissfully admiring the winsome essence of the very world that was about to betray it and wipe it from existence. 

it is with a start that the dove realises a wet drop has fallen upon the ruffle of a feathered belly. she is crying and for a moment a startled fear sparks through her....that she is able to cry over a bird and yet not her papa? but it settles somewhat, an aching acceptance unfurling within her like a serene lake top. she cries for death and the lives it snatches into greedy hands for no reason at all, for to die was one thing but when it was completely unnecessary. wrapping her tail around the tremble of her lithe figure, the marbled girl would crouch there and weep over the fallen bird for quite some time. 

for despite being exposed to death from a very young age, she did not understand it any better now than she did the day she'd quietly asked kavik about its nature. the ability to snatch the lives from prey and simply shrug it off as the natural order of things..oh how her soul rebelled so fruitlessly! and therefore she was doomed to the cruel clutch of relentless empathy, to feel that resounding ache everytime she ate to keep herself alive. why must wolves be so monstrous? even alsek with his little flowers would one day have to kill if he wanted to live...some seen it as superiority but polaris, she seen it as a curse. they were not better than the animals they fed on, those beings that could live without needing to cause the suffering of others. in their stories the wolves were the villains and in polaris' opinion, rightfully so.

she thinks ruefully of papa as the tears continue to slide down saturated cheek fur. the world had preyed on him just like they did to animals like this very bird at her paws and she wishes to cry out WHY HIM. a being of such kindness, such strength and honour...so filled with love and yet what a hypocritical question when they never questioned their meals as to whether they are a hero or a villain? why should she have rights to scorn the world for its pick when they themselves did the same thing each and every day. what deer had her very own papa killed to keep them alive and therefore shatter an entire family of gentle eyed clement. 

"oh papa...." she exhales to the fallen bird
 
"i do wonder are you simply gone? do you simply linger in an eternal sleep, belonging to the darkness or is there somewhere else? can you see us? are you happy? do you forgive me for my selfishness, for not going to see you just because you'd found happiness while i mourned? it does seem as if the world has punished me for such actions and yet perhaps thinking that in itself is selfish, for your death is much more than a punishment..it is part of this world's awfully cruel game" 

a soft sob hitches in her thorat as she pushes to a shaky stand. "goodbye papa- @RIP Kavik, maybe we will meet again or maybe the darkness will simply embrace us both" and blinking rapidly, she would get to work tearing at the soft earth until a decently sized hole lay before her. by the time she'd gently placed the fledgelings body within and covered it so that the scavengers could not pick at it from above and it would remain embraced by the earth forever, the tears had dried. 

as she rambled back to where she'd left alsek marvelling at the little creatures, she felt strangely lighter.

frowning at the abandoned stream, she sniffed nervously at the ground and picked her way hurriedly after the scent. she really shouldn't have left him alone for such a long time even if she herself had been making various trips past the borders at such an age. perhaps he too was kissed by 'wanderlust', recalling the memory of the moonspearian wolf handing her such a beautiful word distantly as she followed the blackbird's scent to a cave. frowning, she stepped into the gloom beginning to form a loud "alse-" yet eyes widened at the familiar figure before her and a spark of intense panic shot at her tender heart as she moved to slip closer to the ink blot staining the dark, bicoloured eyes fixed carefully on the earthen woman of whitebark stream as she murmured a wary "hello"

mother and father were both there, sitting quietly outside of the den. there was no sound, only sight; everything was still and void of life. grezig's brown fur sparkled brilliantly beneath the inviting rays of an afternoon sun. alsek traced the rays to the source, but found the sky to be— kavik was directly opposite of his once partner, standing post with gaze averted from his son's line of vision. what color were his eyes? the eyes which were hidden, what color were they? kavik's mouth remained closed as he asked: did you find me? alsek nodded his head while walking to bury himself with his father's soft waves of obsidian fur.

his eyes closed, then reopened, revealing a darkened scene. he was inside of the whelping den again; grezig was still there, but kavik had been replaced with a scowling spire of stone. beside his slumbering mother sat pele, her closed-eye stare boring into that of her littermate. get away, she warned him, alsek, no. he wanted to ask what she meant, to assure her that he was alright, but found himself wholly unable to speak. pele continued wrapping her caution tape around his frozen frame — bad, alsek, bad. — until her words became unintelligible. 

alsek could see grezig begin to stir. he watched with panicked eyes as she slowly rose upright, growing with each movement until she towered over both pups. pele continued with her mumbling, as though unaware of their mother's temper: cold and unmoving, unforgiving of their mistakes. and though he tried to open his mouth to voice some warning, alsek had been locked in as observer, forced to watch the catastrophic chain of events unfold. he blinked furiously, thinking- hoping! that it might wipe the nightmare from existence and take him back to before.

hello? little one?

distantly familiar, alsek's subconscience allowed the voice to guide him from that restless sleep. his body jerked awake with a pitiful whine, though that innocent protest quickly grew into panicked shouts. where had pele gone? why hadn't he been able to help her, and would she be okay without him? surely, their mother would be upset, but alsek wouldn't be there to help his sister through the shouting. he didn't know that dreams weren't real, or that they sometimes went awry at no fault of the dreamer. up until then, he'd only known sweet dreams which were understandably easier to rationalize than— 

semi-lucid and still struggling to fully awake, alsek quickly herded himself behind a pillar of grey. the stone afforded some coverage; though he was still visible, being mostly hidden added the comfort needed for him to fully soothe his racing mind. the quiet dripping of distant water, somewhere deeper within the cave, echoed through and into the cavern's entrance, becoming married with birdsong. alsek slowly peeked around the stone's edge in an attempt to discreetly study the woman before him. her dark blue eyes were soft, her gaze pleading; she was the opposite of his mother, from what he could remember, which ironically made the idea of her more inviting. either that, or the scent of whitebark invoking already well-buried memories.

where's pele? alsek asked, his voice soft and timid. it might have been inaudible, should aphrodite have been distracted for even a moment. he wanted to know more about his sister's wellbeing (moreover, why she hadn't come to find him instead) without coming out just yet, entering the open before making his full earthbound return. she.. where's papa? why had he disappeared without a word? in other dreams, kavik often drifted, but he always said his goodbyes.. so why was this time different? alsek bit anxiously at the inside of his cheek while (im)patiently awaiting aphrodite's response. 

the blackbird might have even been tempted to approach, had the gentle voice of polaris not been heard. immediately feeling the urge to seek comfort!, alsek abandoned his makeshift hiding place to run and hide among dust-colored limbs more familiar and safe than those of a distant memory. he'd only known chaos since his parents' sleep, an uncomfortable state of being which swallowed its inhabitants whole and without remorse.. but for the most part, polaris offered order; stability. she gave him things to expect — food, shelter, safety, freedom — without inhibiting his natural curiousity. she allowed him to be a child and adventurer, and each of the many times he'd needed someone since their meeting, she'd been there.

pola, alsek sniffled, burying himself within the plumes of her chest, missed you, pola. his tail was turned to aphrodite, his gaze averted back to the outside. it was bright there; here, inside of this cave, light was swallowed by the darkness, and with it, any sweetness he'd hoped to find. rather than feel well-rested, he felt scorned, betrayed, and to some degree, abandoned. his parents had left him alone not once, but now twice! left him alone to mourn beneath someone else, still largely unsure about the world around him. alsek might have cursed their memories, were he capable of such a thing, but his inability to anything except love them made dealing with their continued betrayal all the more difficult.

when he did finally turn to look back at aphrodite, it was with an apologetic glance. anyone who knew alsek would see that he wasn't a rude child, but rather well-mannered. if he'd offended her, it hadn't been on purpose; under different circumstances, he might have rushed forward to greet a new friend. alsek wanted to tell her all of these things but could not form the words with his mouth or fix his legs to approach her. instead, he continued sharing forlorn glances with hopes that she might understand his intended message, even as he backed further into the safety polaris was providing. i want home, he whispered to his sister, home, please, pola. whatever that meant, anyway. given the situation, alsek would have been content to walk two steps to the left if it meant he could stop feeling so.. bleh.

1,007 hehe

Ears pricked at the beginning of a call cut short. 
it only took her a moment to make this connection- the pup scent she had followed, was the missing pup! Joy thrilled her and she gave a beat of her tail, inclining her head at the strange female. 
"I'm sorry to intrude...But I believe you have my pup." Her words are soft, gentle. There are a dozen other scents mixed into the pelt of the shewolf...a pack. But which one? Soft, panicked, frightened voice...her ears pinned sadly. 
"Pele is safe. She's currently snuggled up in the Alpha's den." "Where's Papa?" Memories of her own frightened young voice, pitched up with the frailty of youth, asking that same painful question. "Alsek..." She hesitated, pain and sorrow in her voice. "Your mama and papa...Well sometimes, wolves get old, or sick. And they get very, very tired. So tired they fall asleep and don't wake up again. But they're still here. In our dreams, and watching over us...and in our hearts."  it was a heartbreaking thing to have to explain to a child. He stumbled out of the den, clinging to the strange shewolf who had obviously taken good care of him, and he obviously loved. "Thank you for keeping him safe. Artyom will be grateful to know he's been found."  She says to her, a soft smile of gratitude on her features. 
As Alsek pleads to go home, she frowns. 
On the one hand, he knew this shewolf. He was familiar with her. And to take him away from her could be devastating. On the other, he had a sister and pack anxiously waiting for him. She finally lowered herself to a laying position, eye to eye with the miserable pup. 
"Alsek...it seems you have a choice to make. Your sister, and lots of other people, are very worried about you. They miss you a lot. But I don't want to take you away from somewhere you're happy. I promised your mama before she... before everything happened, I would keep you safe. I can go tell Artyom where you are, and that you're ok, and you can go home with her. It's up to you." 

wc;1384

the only words to have swam through the darkness to linger cruelly about fluttering ears before her quick intrusion on the hushed conversation almost put a stop to her rushed progression. they seem to echo within the cup of her ears for a lifetime before making their way slowly through her mind; leaving a wave of icy cold licking at her insides in its wake. 'where's papa?' the further it travels into the depths of a fragile healing soul, the more distortion seems to warble and croon its uttering. suddenly her own voice cries it out, panicked hysteria sinking curved claws into her chest...and then it is sweet little lainie sobbing it forth at this further injustice pushed upon a girl who did not deserve a day's unhappiness. even zephyr with his sharply cutting words of vehement distaste towards the sable raven, now she hears the crack of deeply sown guilt tearing at him. guilt that will try to fester and destroy. and helios...growing softer and softer in the memory of youth...edges starting to blur in his mind's image and yet still his voice echoes with stark clarity as he whispers that question. there is no answer, papa is just..no more. he is gone. 

somehow her paws continue to draw her into the shifting shadow's embrace despite the roar of her wayward mind and eyes are feverishly bright as her brother shoots forth into the caress of her figure. she even manages to produce a quiet smile from the murk lapping at the confines of her inner being, wrapping as much of her willowy frame around him as possible at the words that pierce through the fog. the blackbird's song, like the burning rays of dawn batting back the sneering dark. "i missed you too" she whispers hoarsely "but don't worry i'm here now" she is here, not gone and for this boy she will fight the odds of the earth when death comes lurking hungrily. she will not be another name he has to ask about fretfully, she won't be a 'where's pola' she will be here. never gone. 

her jaw clenches briefly at the feathery arrow to piece forth at what the earthen clad woman murmurs. what is the use in speaking tones so soft when the words themselves have the ability to pierce and cut? wrapping a blade in delicate velvet only works to the marvelling eye, when the time comes it will still cut through flesh like a knife through butter. she peers through the shifting gloom. "your pup?" she returns, voice lilting forth with its own padded softness. deciding she too will sprinkle downy feathers and vibrant petals across her utterings, finding wry amusement in the idea that to a passerby the hummed melodies slipping free from the tenebrous den mouth would suggest the most pleasant of conversations were being shared. "your pack does not own my family just because some lives both came to be and..ceased to be on your soil" she blinks down at the huddled mass pressed to her, eyes guttering as she inhaled deeply. why is it that the world has taken such a fascination towards testing the boundaries of their little family?

this child should be allowed live in bliss with his dancing flowers and scuttling creatures, why punish someone who marvelled so fervently at the earth's own little wonders? she is going in circles with this thought process, having confirmed the harsh truth several times now that the nature of your soul meant nothing in the hands of fate. that the sweetest, purest being might die a premature, terrible death and yet the cruellest villian may live a full life and pass serenely into the mist in the calm clutches of sleep. yet it still pierces her, still picks away at her nevertheless...the lack of fairness, of justice. and her powerlessness to be but a pawn in this game stroked an ever growing flame sitting with brazen defiance in the center of her being. 

continuing softly, she looks back to the woman she'd met on the whitebark stream borders only weeks ago and yet it felt like an entire lifetime "he is a tonrar and he is his own person, he belongs to his name and himself. whether this is but an important adventure that he will return to you's after or he has decided to leave that place behind is only his decision" perhaps a heavy statement to leave in the paws of a child but polaris didn't care, she remembered if only vaguely being such an age and it was the decisions she'd made then that had shaped her today. he deserved choices and if they were made naively and were to be regretted than he would someday change them, but it would be him always that made those choices. he would not be owned, controlled. their family were not posessions to observe with drawns brows of hushed pity. they were individuals of light and strength. 

teeth press harder at the incredulous talk to tumble forth next. it is perhaps a little unfair to judge so harsly on the delivering of a topic so difficult to understand and portray no matter how long you'd roamed the earth and yet her fur prickles like a defensive hedgehog. they are not still here, she does not mourn for a being that can still be reached. she will never hear the deep rumble of his voice, the bright spark in those verdant eyes, press her cheek to the protective embrace of his solid figure. they live on through memories and love but that is not here, she carries her papa with her and yet still he is gone. watching over them? perhaps he does but that does not make him here. but she keeps her mouth shut, eyes shifting wearily to blink upon the slanting light casting her flamboyant hues on the gleam and sparkle of the treacherous beauty beyond. she does not usually enjoy the dark, relishing in the way the light allows life and nature to flourish. but in this moment, she feels safer in the gloom's clutch than out under the sharp peer of the sun. 

her eyes flutter shut against the pulse of her heart at alsek's quietly murmured words but when they open she smiles and nods gently. she shoots a look to the woman as she intercepts before she can speak, frowning once more at the wording. talk about applying weight to an already heavy decision, did she wish to flatten the pup to the ground? yet it brought to light a new question and polaris was left to judge her own reckless and perhaps naive actions. say alsek did choose to remain with her? what if she brought him back to easthollow and valette didn't let him in? or the ranks were too heavy with their own pups? she did not know how many mothers were expecting within the protective stones. what would she do then? but what if there was room and he could flourish in a land where wolves did not speak to him about eternal sleeps and observe him as if he were as fragile as a glass vase. she didn't want him to have to grow up as 'that pup who's parents died', life as fleeting as it was, had so much more to offer than that.

when she did speak, it was simply to murmur very quietly "alsek home is wherever you want to be, where you feel happy and safe. i...this is something i can't answer for you, home is where you want to go. and if you want to go back to whitebark stream with her, if that is home to you then you do that. and if it's not home to you, then i will bring you somewhere but home is up to you. i will not be able to go back with you to that pack okay? but i won't ever be gone i promise. i'm here and i'm here to stay, never ever gone." the smile remains despite the shard to press against her chest, guilty for putting such a decision on his small shoulders and yet unable to see any other way to go about it. child or not, alsek must decide where home is himself.

they’re still here, in our dreams. 

aphrodite’s explanation implied that his parents were gone from this earth, completely gone and unretrievable, but how could something like that be true? he’d seen them only days — weeks? months? — prior to this, definitely still on earth, and now they were just.. gone? where did they go? because the beings alsek had seen in his dreams couldn’t have been the parents he’d once loved, not those figureless ghouls devoid of the once-was. if they were stuck like that now, then he didn’t want them anymore, but the idea of giving up his parents altogether.. there had to be some other way. 

right?
right, pola?

she couldn’t have known what he was thinking, or the gross misunderstanding of what death was that was forming then in his growing mind. she couldn’t have known how deep the wounds from this conversation would go, and for how long they would fester and itch. alsek would never sleep again if sleeping meant dreaming and dreaming meant-

i don’t want them in my dreams, he said. bright eyes turned to aphrodite, begging for her to give some remedy as she often had before. something that could clean his mind and keep him safe, so that those mock models of his parents could never come close again. he wanted his real mother with the, the.. the green eyes, and his real father, too. and he wanted pele back, because leaving her unprotected wasn’t an option. what would grezig do to her if he wasn’t there to help? if he couldn’t take the blame, what punishment awaited his sister now? 
it was too much to think about. why couldn’t pele have just come here, to stay with polaris like he had? i want pele, alsek whined. he wanted to go get her, so that she could come along with them wherever this path led. 

pola, i wa-.. i want pele. can we save her? please, can we save her?

aphrodite’s assurance that his sister was fine meant nothing. she was somewhere else with someone else instead of being here, where she belonged. to the whitebark woman, he asked: why you didn’t bring her? something must have been wrong, then.. right? alsek had made this journey just fine, and that meant pele could have done the same, but she was still at home.. ? it didn’t make any sense; something was wrong and aphrodite wouldn’t tell him what it was.

did he want to keep traveling with polaris if it meant leaving pele behind? a heavy question for someone so young, and a question which he truly had no business answering. this was something which should have been left between adults, but here he was, stuck in the middle of it with only a child’s intuition to make his decision with. there were two apparent options: go with aphrodite, or go with polaris.

returning with aphrodite meant two main things: he could reconcile his memories of whitebark stream with the truth, and he could reunite with pele. it meant going back to a familiar life; artyom was there with his family, and kaori with hers. germanicus and surya were there with their lessons about gods, flowers, and all other good things. his first den was there, where he’d first met his parents, his sister.. everything that he knew was there.

including their bodies.

could he go back? going back to whitebark meant acknowledging what some deep part of him knew, that his parents were no longer there. would whitebark still be home without grezig and kavik? even with pele, would alsek ever be at rest? moreover, if he went back to that once home, and slept in that once den, would the dreams continue? he would be sleeping with their ghosts, after all. 

alsek considered that for a moment, then stepped out from polaris’s cover. he didn’t approach aphrodite, but remained plastered between the two of them while he continued to think.

exploring with polaris.. well, he didn’t know what it meant. he knew that he wouldn’t find pele along the way, and though that hurt, it meant he wouldn’t find any of their shared baggage either. whitebark was family in one sense, but his tie with polaris was real; she was his sister.
they weren’t littermates and would never have that bond, but the fast-growing relationship between them was promising. alsek trusted that wherever they went, she would keep him safe. there was a somewhere she could take him that he assumed was her home, and if polaris had been welcomed there, then wouldn’t he be welcome, too? it could mean forgetting everything that stood behind him.. though most of those things had already been (at least) partially forgotten anyway. 

the options were simplified. alsek could go back, or he could go forward, and the choice was only his. can i see pele? he asked, this question for both women, any whenever? ideally, alsek would have liked an in-between option, where both offers were available because that meant he wouldn’t have to leave either sister behind. can i see arty, too? their leader was a strange man, but he’d been kind, and that was more than alsek could have asked for. 

he went on under his breath, naming each packmate that he could remember and asking if he would be able to see them, too. it would be okay if he went unheard, because these names were less important, but alsek needed to clear them from his mind before really making any decisions.
what is somewhere? alsek asked polaris. he needed more information from her, too. was somewhere a place that he would enjoy? were there other kids for him to play with? and what were the adults like? because if they were mean, then that would make everything much more complicated. he looked at his sister with darkened gaze, those mischievous hazels glimmering in low-light, an already knowing stare.

1022

The plight of the pup was heartbreaking. Of course he had nightmares...waking up beside both parents dead. She still had nightmares of her own childhood and it only softened her to the child's plight. 
The Shewolf gives a standoffish reply and although indignant Aphrodite tries her best to remember how tense the situation is for everyone. At least they appeared to agree on one thing- the final decision was, unfortunately, Alsek's. 
"I can make some medicine, if you like, to help the bad dreams go away." A simple blend of lavender, Chamomile, and valerian. 
his next question left her unable to answer. How do you explain depression to a pup? How do you explain the weight Pele had lost, how she slept all the time, how she cried at night or shrieked with nightmares? 
Luckily she didn't have to think up an answer right away, as the next questions came tumbling out. 
"Alsek," she murmured, giving him a gentle nuzzle on the shoulder. "Nomatter what you choose, you will always be welcome at Whitebark Stream. "

wc;1268

ears press tight to her skull in a hastily covered wince at his shrill plead, breath shuddering free from her wearied vessel as she wondered on what exactly did his dreams consist of. they were peculiar things, dreams, and in her opinion they were not to be trusted. she'd oft been presented with these warped visions of reality, from witnessing butterflies as large as a wolf to nightmarish entities that luckily appeared not to exist in the waking world. it seemed that whoever was in charge of designing the dream state was quite the trickster and had therefore been sated with the control of a world that did not truly exist. so it would therefore make sense that his parents could have been distorted at the mercy of his mind's sleeping projections, or perhaps this teasing image of wolves he could no longer witness in his day to day life was a burden too heavy to bear. her lip found itself between chewing teeth as frustration writhed mercilessly throughout her. it felt as if someone had dropped a mountain of ants upon her and they picked away greedily at her skin as she twisted uselessly. how could she help him when her own thoughts on death were so perverted? she could not accept it as something so two dimensional like so many seemed to and so how on earth would she be of any benefit to alsek? 

"that's not really them in your dreams" she laments meekly, tail flicking at her haunches as she focuses hard on the stray beams of light puncturing the eddying shadows. the subconscious decision being made that there was perhaps no right way to approach such a grievous topic, they could only provide honesty and after that...well it was up to ones own self to come to terms with what exactly the nature of death meant to them she supposed. "dreams aren't real, i don't think anyone really knows what they are but..think of them as stories except they're shown to you as pictures instead" brows furrow, helpless shrug thrown in to conclude that useless confirmation. maybe it would ease his concerns, maybe it would make them worse, she truly hadn't a notion and it makes her head ache. how had her parents done it? how had they always seemed so wise and certain in the face of everything? did you just wake up one day and find your mind stocked with sagacious responses and thoughts to counter everything? or was it all just a mask that naive puppy eyes feasted greedily upon in their worlds of unperturbed bliss?

she looked wholly upon his stygian figure now, almost one with the shadows circling protectively. she'd asked papa what death was when she'd been about his age hadn't she? pain licked hungrily at her heart, fragmented memories prancing across her conscience. after zephyr had killed their younger sibling, a thing she'd never been able to come to terms with despite her love for her silvered brother continuing to burn, she'd posed him with that trembled query. he'd been honest with it, he hadn't tried to sugar coat it but of course, it was easier to speak of such a term when it didn't apply to the child's recently stolen parents.

albeit guiltily, she is oh so glad when the earthen woman speaks up about remedies for dreams before she can even begin to breach the subject. latching onto the chance to postpone the conversation as quickily as a flea catches ahold of its host. eyes widen a little at the offer, enthralled by the idea that such a remedy exists. "you can do that?" she breathes, a little sheepish at her own lack of knowledge in the area. she'd known that healers could use the power granted to certain plants to ease and heal physical issues but it was the first time she'd heard of anyone mastering the art of healing the mind and she found herself tentatively intrigued if not a little daunted at the prospect. was there a plant that could snare and control ones entity?? that sounded terrifying and yet, at alsek's next query she felt a snag of desperation tug away the budding wariness. despite polaris' biased discomfort around the woman, it could be admitted that she seemed cordial and had the blackbird's best interests at heart and so she would gladly accept anything that may help him..and perhaps herself as an extension for that matter.

she looks a little expectantly to their company, hopeful that she has access to the well of knowledge adults fed from yet she is regretfully met by silence as the other's azure look focuses on the dark clad child. "i won't ever stop you seeing pele" is all she can assure, uneasy about making any other promises that she may not be able to keep. pele...kavik's other daughter, she could not help but wonder what she was like in comparison to lainie or herself and furthermore, childish insecurity peeked out to wonder if he perhaps had preferred her to his previous daughters. she blinks, attempting to banish such a sour tangent but it lingers snarkily at the fringes of her mind as she waits in the tense silence slinking about them as they awaited alsek's verdict.

her muscles are tense to the point of aching, anxious at the idea of either answers waiting to pounce. the idea of alsek leaving to return to whitebark stream evokes this awful pain within her that she fears she no longer has the strength to fight, certain that it would call on the lurking hurt that was far from departing her after discovering what she'd lost. yet for him to give up his birthplace and follow her...in all of her days polaris had never been handed such pure responsibility and she would be lying if she said it didn't terrify her. 

so by the time he does pipe up, she feels as if the thud of her heart has forced itself up her throat making it uncomfortably difficult to draw a full breath. eyes widen a fraction, shooting a nervous look at the woman. if he was asking permission to see the wolves of whitebark whenever he wished then that must mean....she exhales shakily, timid smile pressing her features as she nods "of course, whenever" he truly wished to remain with her? the plethora of emotions running riot within her were too intricate to even pinpoint their nature, she simply felt overwhelmed as she nodded dumbly along with the healer's reassurance. 

a soft laugh at the question, admiring his drive. "it's called easthollow and..it's beautiful there, really beautiful. big green meadows with lots of lovely plants and these super cool big stones that watch over everyone. the wolves are all so kind too, i think you'd really like it there" and she is shocked to find that homesick tug to her own self when thinking of her verdant home, pleased to discover that her mind had taken so firmly to the place she'd sought for mere refuge. 

still nibbling at her lip, mismatched eyes blinked to the woman with her sky kissed eyes. "artyom won't mind right? you'll tell him it was alsek's choice and he's free to return at any time?" for the last thing she desired was to bring the wrath of an angered pack upon valette and her wolves, she could never do that. even quieter she'd mumble "and you um, that thing you mentioned about being able to get rid of bad dreams? could you..tell me how you do that if you don't mind?"