Sun Mote Copse Hold one's soul as gently as a butterfly in your hands

Set for 30th July.

Not too long ago Wraen had played the question game with Arcturus and he had asked her about, where she pictured herself a year from now. At the time all had been simple, consistent and calm, she had avoided replying directly, though in her mind she had hoped and wished that Firebirds would be her final pack to reside. The one place she would grow old and eventually her mound would join that of other leaders in the little graveyard that Weejay tended for.

In a matter of a week things had completely changed. She was no longer a leader due to the fateful encounter with hornets. Even now, when stings no longer burned and hurt, she was slow to recover and secretly she feared, if that would ever happen at all. And now with Meerkat and Bronco joining Moonspear out of their own free will and parents agreeing to it, she no longer felt that she wished to remain at the Sun Mote copse. A day after her talk with Towhee, not only she felt guilty for being selfish and tactless, when the right thing to do would have been to comfort and stand by her friend's side, but she also tried hard to find some peace in the founding rules of Firebirds. 

You let people in freely and you let them go as well. But fate has a nasty way of twisting even the best of rules. Wraen would not even have batted an eyelid, if the kids had chosen to go anywhere else but Moonspear. Hell, she would not even care, if it was Moonspear, just not under Hydra's guidance. It scared her that Towhee, who was such a good friend to the alpha of the neighbouring pack, had never seen the ugly face of that three headed dog. One that was unforgiving. The one, who did not feel remorse for the monstrous things it did. One, who justified them as neccessary, even if they were morally wrong. 

Wraen had fallen in tired and restless sleep. Hallucinations from her still recuperating mind were mixed with the present troubles it tried to comprehend and find a solution to. There had to be something. Things could not be so desperately ruined.

It was not a good feeling, coming back to find Wraen laid low and Towhee in charge.  Not that Maia thought it was a bad thing her big sister had stepped down; she was thrilled she was getting a break, actually! But the reasons sucked, and reminded her of a few years back, when she'd thought she'd killed her.  Not a great memory, actually.

Honestly, Maia had been a little bit of a mess recently anyway, and had been wandering a little more than usual because of it.  She put that on pause to help Wraen out, but her brain was still spinning on a few different things.  Especially because Wraen being sick meant... well...

Hfffff.  Maia, your such an idiot, cmon.  Chiding herself, she came to where Wraen was dozing.  Not wanting to wake her sister up, she settled a short distance off, then lowered her head to stare at the trees.  When she woke up, Maia would be there if she needed anything... but for now, she was alone with her thoughts.  Oh, jeeze, c'mon.

The first few seconds after waking up, Wraen felt almost alright. That things, which had happened recently, were part of a very bad dream. Yet the gravity of the situation pressed on her hard soon after and she felt just as trapped and clueless as what to do next, as she had done, when she had gone to sleep. 

Mid-stretch she caught sight of Maia, who had been quietly sitting not far from her for a while. "Hey," Wraen greeted her with a small smile and waging tail. "I haven't seen you around for a while," she said, approaching her sister and nuzzling her gently in greeting. "How's life been treating you?"

Hey! she said, turning to Wraen and smiling.  Yeah, been... uh, busy.  Yknow, scouting and all.  It was a lame excuse, but it didn't matter anyway, since she was more interested in another question.  How're you?  I heard what happened, so I figured I'd stick around a while.  Keep you company.  With that her smile widened, a bit, and some teasing entered her tone.  Whether you like it or not, of course.

She was toying with the idea of talking to Wraen about things, but she wasn't sure yet.  She didn't know if it even merited talking about, because it was a dumb idea no matter what way she sliced it, and there was no way... just... yeah.  But a part of her wanted to hear her sister say how dumb it was.  And another part was scared that she wouldn't.

"I would like that very much," Wraen said, smiling softly at her sister. In the ever changing world Maia had remained the same and she felt so blessed to have her still. The day she would leave her side forever would be a very sad indeed. But at present she shoved those thoughts out of her head. 

"Remember, back in spring, when we talked about going travelling again?" she asked, speaking about that getaway poetry session they had had. "Do you think..." she paused. "Do you think now would be a good time to do it?"

A big part of Maia welcomed the subject change, and her first instinct was to immediately respond with an enthusiastic 'yes!'.  She loved traveling - the only thing better was traveling with Wraen.  Now that her sister had stepped down, it seemed like she was thinking more seriously about it, and that was super exciting.

But, at the same time, what about everyone here?  Well, at least, some here.  You're that bored already, now that you aren't in charge? she asked, wrinkling her nose with a little teasing.  I mean, it sounds great!  Just... why now?  It seems like she'd just kinda gotten back, and hadn't really gotten to get into a groove here.  That made the timing better in some ways, but worse in others.

"If boredom was the only reason," Wraen replied to Maia's teasing and, having actually expected that enthusiastic "yes", no questions asked, she was a little surprised that her sister wanted to know her reasons. It had never occurred to her that with her love for travelling and being away from the group she would have formed any kind of attachment here. Now she wondered, if she had been wrong all along, if it was fair to uproot Maia now.

"I am no longer in charge," she cleared the first thing. "And you probably heard that Meerkat and Bronco had gone off to the Moonspear voluntarily and that as of that event Firebirds and the mountain pack are allies. Maybe it has not been made official, but they are already bound to each other," Wraen explained, trying to remember, how much Maia knew about her past with Moonspear and that of Arcturus too. 

"I won't retell you the whole history, but there are some fundamentally wrong and morally questionable deeds in Hydra's biography - she is the current leader there - and at the same time she is the best friend of Towhee's. I can argue all I want, but I won't convince neither the new Sovereign, nor her other family members that forming an alliance with that pack is a dangerous thing. That I - in particular - and probably Arcturus too want nothing to do with them," she explained. 

"And it seems to me that it will be easier for me to pack up and seek my luck elsewhere again than to fight for my truth or live in a situation that does not make me feel comfortable or safe," Wraen said. "Perhaps, it is better for this pack's future, if I take my past qualms with Hydra somewhere, where the long shadows of Moonspear do not reach me and no one has even heard anything about that pack," she finished and added one final thing. "I would be happy to have you as my companion, but I am not asking you to leave, if you do not want to."

Maia had met the Moonspear wolves once, and thought the world of them. Then she'd met them again.... starving, desperate, and they'd turned on her rather than offer her a part of their food.  They'd only been defending their kill in a famine, but it wasn't something easily forgotten, and Maia found herself agreeing wholeheartedly with Wraen's assessment.  Maia definitely didn't consider them friends.  Plus, how they'd met her, after Charon... 

Yeah, She said, confirming that she knew the two had gone.  After that, she thought while Wraen spoke, trying to listen but at the same time feeling herself get a little distracted with how fast this was.  She'd figured she'd have a little more time.  But then again, what would time do?

Some wolves just weren't made to settle down, and right now, it was tempting for Maia to give up and assume she wasn't one of them.  It was easier than being hurt, easier than proving that she wasn't good enough for anyone to love the way she desperately wanted to be loved.  She'd fallen, time and time again, and time and time again they'd disappeared.  Or chosen elsewhere.

Where you go, I go, she answered with a smile.  I'm totally down for road trip part two!!  Last time was great.  Their travels had been fun, and Maia had been antsy for a while after joining here.  She couldn't really ever see herself being happy in a place her sister didn't also call home.

Just... have to figure out how to tell them, she added, with a slight anxious twinge.  Ooooh, these conversations were never fun.

"Don't worry about that too much, Maia," Wraen told her sister, feeling a little guilty that she would have to uproot again for the sake of her. It would be twice now. "I will do the talking with Towhee and the rest and, if you choose to go with me, who do you have to  convince otherwise?" she asked rhethorically. After all it was nobody's buisness, what Maia chose to do. 

"Though if you have a friend or two here that you have bonded to in particular... I won't be able to handle those farewells for you," she said after a little pause. "I am sorry that you have to leave a pack  yet again for me. I wish I could promise it is the last time, but, what promises can I give, if just a week ago I firmly believed that I will stay with the Firebirds forever," she sighed.

... yeah. You're right.  Though Wraen meant it in the best way possible, Maia took her words at their literal sound - that no one, outside Wraen, would really miss her here when she was gone.  It fit with what she already had assumed, and while it made the prospect of goodbyes easier, it made her feel a weird kind of sad.

I should probably tell a couple goodbye, she said, thinking about it.  Weejay, and Eljay, definitely.  Towhee?  Probably not, since Wraen covered that.  She couldn't really think of anyone else, and doubtless, those she did say goodbye to would get over it pretty fast.  Maybe that was her destiny, with all this traveling, to meet a ton of wolves but never really have any family outside of Wraen.

I don't think either of us will ever be able to promise much, she finally responded, with a little bit of a laugh.  Just promise not to leave me behind, and we are good.

It was strange really, how over the years one learned that in the sea of good acquaintances there were very few true good friends. If asked - whether anyone missed Wraen in all of the packs she had been part of during her life - the answer would be "most likely not". Either the people, who had known her, had already moved on, or the pack had disbanded and there was no living memory of it. Even here - it would take a couple of weeks at most for her to be forgotten altogether. 

Maia asked not to leave her behind, Wraen regarded her with sincere fondness for a moment, before leaning in for a wolfish equivalent of a hug and said in assured voice: "You and me - always and forever, sister, always and forever."

Last one from me - thank you!

<3

Maia immediately felt better when Wraen confirmed it was the two of them in it together no matter what.  She could definitely live with that.

Pushing off thoughts of goodbyes for now, Maia invited Wraen along for a run and a hunt.  Whether or not she agreed, Maia knew she needed the distraction and the excuse to burn off some of the nervous energy she now had.  The next few weeks were going to be interesting!