Redhawk Caldera all i want for christmas

After @Maia had left for a while Eljay felt a little lost. He'd spent so much of his time with her that it was hard to figure out what he should do now that she was gone. She had scouting, and he had... Well, he wasn't really sure what he had, really, and he didn't really realise it until she was gone. Sure, he loved to take care of the children and he loved to help whoever needed it with medical assistance or midwife things. It made him feel a little self-conscious, both because he missed Maia and hanging out with her and because the longer she was away, the more his insecurities started to play up again and he wondered what reasons she even had to return and why she liked him to start with. Besides all of that he was afraid that she might get hurt again now that she was out travelling on her own again. He wondered if he would need to become more adventurous to keep Maia with him, but he was also afraid of getting too adventurous. It had been proven to him time and time again that it was dangerous out there.

There were a lot of doubts about the future racing through his mind and he didn't really know what choices he should make. He didn't know which ones would lead him down the happiest path. @Weejay said she wanted what made him happy and she wanted him to go with Maia — or at least she had told him that he may have to choose between Redhawk Caldera and Maia at some point, which suggested to him that maybe she thought it best to go with Maia to begin with — but he found it hard still to piece together her own part in all of this and where she wanted to be the most. And what of the pack? They weren't the biggest right now and they needed him, and Eljay was afraid to let them down.

For now though, Eljay decided to restlessly patrol the pack's northeastern borders, in hopes of catching a glimpse of Maia on the horizon.

tags are for reference, all welcome <3