Duskfire Glacier dynasties and dystopia

Not long after receiving the news, Meerkat took a seat near the lake to process. She hadn't been close to Wintersbane or Tzila, yet it was still a horrible shock. Her mind soon turned to the children they'd left behind. As both a coach and a therapist, it was her duty to make herself available to them. Meerkat decided to seek them out right away.

The first trail she found belonged to @Veteran and led her southwest around the lake's "finger" toward the meadow. She expected to follow it toward Bosk Iana but it trailed further south, toward the borders. She went that far and stood ponderously. Perhaps she should call for him and his sister, @Arius and @Ensio too.

Idly, she wondered if they were busy spending time with their visitors from Moonglow. Meerkat had yet to go looking for her own acquaintances from the currently nomadic pack, though finding her own pack's youths was a more urgent priority. Her lips pursed as she continued standing there, deliberating.

Tags are invitational but not obligational! :)

arius spent most of his time on the borders, knowing that eventually ( soon ), he would have to branch out and start working on making a good impression on the wolves of duskfire glacier. there was an influx of new wolves but he made a mental list that started with those whom had been around longer — those who had been pushed aside in his foolish and desperate care of his father.

still, arius cannot find it within himself to entirely ignore the borders. patrolling brought some sort of stability and within that, purpose.

the scent of meerkat draws his attention then, as his path crosses with one more recently made by her. it did not take him long to find her, staring off into space ...or perhaps the lake — arius could not be certain and if he'd have been older and more world wise, might've considered it a thousand yard stare.

he chuffs to garner her attention, if the sound of his slowing yet approaching footfalls did not first alert her to his presence.

Before she could arrive at a decision, one arrived for her in the form of Arius. Meerkat turned at his quiet greeting, her face immediately furrowing. She moved quickly to meet him, the sympathetic expression still etched into her pale features.

"Oh, Arius. I just heard..." the yearling said, not even really sure what to say. "I'm so sorry for your losses. I want you to know I'm here for you if you need anything, anything at all."

Not long after Arius arrived, so did Ensio. He was often found close by his brothers side these days. Having spotted the newly returned form of Meerkat, he was quick to close in to get her attention. If she was back, then that surely meant Issorartuyok was too.

His approach was anything but warm. Though still very much angry, he had transformed his anger from boiling and white hot, to something much more cold. Such was his demeanor now. Icy. Rigid. Unforgiving. He settled alongside his near twin, fixing Meerkat with an un-blinking glacial gaze. Appearing unmoved by her condolences. He snorted, the glare in his eye seeming to question not her, but her companion. He held nothing but contempt for the so called fill in.

meerkat turns to face him and offers her condolences about the same time that ensio makes his appearance known. his brother joins him at his side but the air coming off of ensio was anything but warm. the chill from the glacier appeared to radiate from within ensio.

the grief that prickles at arius is sharp and unforgiving as he is faced with the ever daily reminder that they lost not just one parent but both within a day of the other.

thank you, meerkat. the tundrian offers with some attempt at a soft smile that is far from being mirthful and does not touch his eyes. a moment or so after comes ensio's snort.

ensio. arius reprimands then; not caring that meerkat was witness to it all. he does not wish divide between him and his twin but despite that arius wishes nothing but to rage and curse whatever gods would listen ...he reasons that someone had to be diplomatic. to not let his grief and anger guide him into hasty decisions that would not end well for him.

his glacial glaze moves back to meerkat then; apologetic.

how was your trip? he asks her, eager to not speak about the looming phantoms of his deceased parents. reliving his grief was not helping him towards his goals.

"How was your trip?"

Arius had just aired his question when Lane found the group. 

"I'd like to know too," she spoke and she neared the trio, giving Meerkat a warm but muted smile. "Welcome back." 

She settled herself with a nod to Aruis, her new mentee, and a little nudge of support to Ensio, who was looking (understandably!) dour. She restrained herself from wrapping him in a hug or covering his crown with licks, as she would have done to her own son if it were Veteran in the bad mood. She would wait to see if Ensio responded favorably to the nudge before offering any additional gestures. 

Lane turned her attention to Meerkat to hear her reply.

Before Arius could really acknowledge her condolences, his brother appeared behind him. Meerkat didn't know either boy very well, though she most certainly cared for them. She could not even begin to fathom what they were going through, losing father and mother within days and finding themselves suddenly orphans. But Meerkat needed them to know they were not alone.

She noted Ensio's chilly demeanor but couldn't fault him for it. He'd suffered horrific losses and anything he felt about the situation was valid. His derisive snort did earn a thoughtful look from her and a soft rebuke from Arius, though Meerkat knew better than to take it too personally. Maybe if she offered to listen, he would talk to her and she could coax more warmth back into his life.

Arius asked about her trip and Meerkat's eyes moved back to him. Lane appeared then, further pressing the matter as she welcomed Meerkat home. The yearling smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. There wasn't a whole lot to tell, even in the best of times, and now hardly seemed like the appropriate time to jabber about an ill-timed foray away from the glacier.

"It was unremarkable, to be honest with you," Meerkat said, catching Lane's eye for a brief moment at the fib. She could tell her about her conversation with Issorartuyok some other time. Her brown gaze returned to the young boys. "My dingus brother made it home safely and that's all that matters about that. I'm just sorry we weren't here when you guys needed us most. I'm serious. If there's anything I can do, please tell me."

Seeing Meerkat there, reminded Ensio that she was innocent. Except that she shared a close friendship with the very man of his ire. Arius scolded, trying to bring him back to reality. He had already been halfway there. There was no need for her to fall victim to his anger also, when she had done nothing wrong. When she had been of the many who resided at the Glacier before the Northerner arrived.

He sighed softly, ears splaying as an apologetic look overcame his naturally hardened features. He also couldn't bring himself to share some choice words with Lane either, who nudged him supportively. Ensio couldn't say he was mad with her...but he wasn't exactly pleased, either. He had been meaning to talk to her for a while now, privately, after witnessing her conversation with Arius. He was receptive; but only so far as to push back in against her touch.

soon, lane appears. though arius was unsure if he'd done too good a job convincing her he wasn't power-hungry as their sister had been ( was ? ) — for he remembers all too vividly how she acted — the worst of his fears are put to bed by the fact that she is here and joins him at his side.

she speaks in a manner that insinuates that she links issorartuyok with her. he is not so sure that he is eager to know what issorartuyok makes of wintersbane's death. had his father's existence — suffering and unwell as it was the last month of his life — been the only buffer between the duskfire legacy and a total coup?

i was with him when he died, arius admits, the words tumbling out of his lips without his total consent. it was not a soft death. it was violent and horrific. no one had asked but there was a slight relief in admitting that he had witnessed something utterly horrific. it assures, arius ( true or not ) that nothing else could hurt him; and though he understood and appreciated ( and would express gratitude for ) the condolences offered to him they did not quite penetrate the armor he's built up.

he glimpses at ensio, then lane before his glacial gaze settles once more upon meerkat. i appreciate it ...but there was nothing you or issorartuyok could've done. perhaps it was the inclusion of the glacier's new alpha male, previously left out, that pricked at arius. and in fact it was probably better that he hadn't been present because there was no telling that arius would've been rational if he were. he might've done something very wintersbane-like and challenged issorartuyok right then and there before his father's body had even been cold or buried.

Meerkat didn't have much to report, or maybe she was just reluctant to prattle on about a trip in the midst of so much grieving. Lane was curious to know whether things had become any clearer between the young Redhawk and Issorartuyok in term of their relationship, but this was not the time or place for gossipy inquiries. There would be time enough for that, once the deceased were resting peacefully. 

Ensio leaned into Lane's nudge, and she swiped a few licks behind his ear. She turned to Arius when he begun speaking, and her distress at his words would be evident on her features. "Oh, Arius.." she murmured, brow knitting in concern. What he had seen was probably a grand mal seizure, which was certainly terrifying to witness, but reportedly painless for the patient. Lane made a mental note to explain this to Arius sometime in the future, so he did not carry on indefinitely believing that his father must have died in horrible pain. 

"I'm so sorry." Had Lane messed up? Should she have allowed Arius to be so heavily involved in Wintersbane's care, knowing that his chances at recovery were so dim? Wouldn't it have been worse for the boys, if she had kept them from their father against their wishes? Much to Lane's chagrin, she had found that leadership was similar to motherhood in that there was a never-ending cascade of decisions to make and none of the choices were easy or clear. 

Wintersbane and Tzila had been buried at the site of their death. Their underground den had been filled in with dirt, packed around their interlocking bodies and then built up into a great mound. Lane had taken to placing a stone at the base of the mound each day, it it appeared that others had been placing stones as well, so that a stone circle was forming around the mound. 

"If you think it's appropriate, Arius and Ensio, I would like to hold a graveside ceremony for your parents on the Cold Moon." Three weeks out from the deaths seemed sufficient time to prepare, coordinate, and allow mourners the space to grieve privately. "At the ceremony, anyone who wishes to do so will be allowed the space to speak, and we will sing together as a pack. After the ceremony, we have been invited to the Moonglow camp for a reception. Moonglow wishes to honor our fallen leaders with a night of food, death songs, and storytelling in the Northern tradition." 

Lane did not mean to overwhelm the boys, but she thought it important that they have some say in the planning of their parents' funerals. "What do you all think of this?" She waited to hear if they would approve the plan, or if they had any additional suggestions. It was also important for Meerkat to hear these plans, as she had always taken a keen interest in event-planning. Perhaps Meerkat could coordinate with Moonglow in planning the reception-- it would be the ideal fusion of her coaching and ambassador trades.

Although he softened it by reassuring her there was nothing she could've done, it hit her like a blow, hearing about Arius witnessing his father's death. Meerkat's mouth went a little dry as her mind went back to the day Toad Amelia had died in front of her, after being torn apart by a bear. It had been incomprehensibly horrific and they had "only" been friends. What must it be like, to lose a parent like that?

She wanted to say something comforting, yet her throat only clicked as she swallowed and Lane beat her to the punch. Meerkat cast her a grateful look as she offered the words of solace the yearling couldn't currently manage. She should've been the one to propose such a gathering, yet she could only applaud Lane's quick thinking. There were no good answers in this situation, yet the suggestion of a memorial seemed like the right thing to say right now.

Meerkat remained mum, giving the boys a chance to air their thoughts. It wasn't her opinion that mattered; it was theirs. She imagined Lane and the rest of the pack would take their cues from Arius and Ensio in this matter. She quietly hoped they would take comfort in the idea of a service and find peace when it came time to memorialize the pack's founding leaders.

Arius spoke up, stating that he had been by their father's side when he passed. And it had been painful, for both father and son. Ensio had been close by at the time, but had been fortunate enough not to bear witness to the violent end to his sire's life.

But he too, was witness to his own horrors. Head down, eyes scrunched shut painfully, with ears plastered back, the boy was clearly in turmoil. He was very much aware of Lane, Meerkat and Arius around him. There were flash backs he couldn't get out of his head. "T-there is something you should know, too..." He paused to force down a lump in his throat. "I saw my mother take her own life." He nearly choked on the words. His body shuddered as he drew in a stiff breath. "Months ago, she confessed to me her demons. That if...if anything ever happened to us or Wintersbane, that it would ruin her. That in the past, she had already lost so much before."

The tears he felt never came. "I knew when father fell ill that she was already broken..." He had known of his mother's emotional and mental instability, ever since her confession. Even understood it, as much as a child his age could. He had kept it quiet for now, in respect to her wishes. 

Lane proposed the idea of a ceremony, to honor their parents. Moonglow would attend, they would feast, sing and tell stories. "I...I think that is a good idea. To ensure they are remembered. I don't want them just forgotten, so the idea of a ceremony helps." He still had his icy eyes downcast. "Before then, I think I attempt to speak to Issorartuyok."

he had been fortunate enough not to witness tzila taking her own life, as enzio had ...and decides that in the end that would've been much worse. at least wintersbane hadn't chosen to leave them. his fate had been cruelly decided by the higher power that wrote them ( aka torvi, kek ). arius looks to his brother now, unsure if he would want the pity that the young tundrian feels; wrestling between mourning and rekindled ire.

they each carried their own demons, now.

that'd be nice. arius says to lane's suggestion with words too thick with emotion. he gives a soft clear of his throat, decidedly not wanting to speak of this anymore. he wanted to focus on other things: his apprenticeship(s), getting to know the new faces of duskfire and those of their allies.

to meerkat, he offers her a small smile that does not entirely touch his eyes. i'm glad you returned safe.

i should patrol. it was the quickest excuse he could think of to take his leave without being ( entirely ) rude and after giving the women a dip of his head and a bump of his muzzle against ensio's shoulder, arius takes his leave towards the borders, eager to patrol out the melancholy that plagues him.

last post for arius & me. <3

Ensio revealed the appalling conversation he'd had with Tzila and traumatizing scene to which he had borne witness. Lane's stomach twisted. Tzila had openly spoken such things to Ensio? Unbelievable. It was too enormous a burden to place on any wolf, let alone a tiny child, for them to know that they are the only reason that a person they love is tied to this earth. For them to know that if anything might happen to one parent, they would be losing both. How had Ensio managed to cope with the pressure and stress of it all? No wonder he had seemed like such a quiet, distant child while in the shadow of this unbalanced, emotionally manipulative mother.

Lane moved forward and pressed her cheek against Ensio's. "I'm so sorry, Ensio." Mommy-issues aside, each of the boys had witnessed a parent's death. It was more than any child should have to endure. 

The boys agreed to the plan laid out by Lane. Meerkat's silence was interpreted as approval as well. "I'll make the arrangements," she said. Settling on a plan brought her a small measure of relief. Ensio mentioned vaguely a desire to attempt to speak to Issorartuyok, and the way he worded it ("attempting") seemed a little unusual to Lane. "He'll be glad to speak with you, Ensio," she reassured him. 

Arius excused himself, having been silent and stoic throughout Ensio's revelation. Lane worried about him, unsure of how he had experienced his brother's retelling of their mother's death. Lane almost insisted that here were others in the pack who could take care of patrols, but before speaking she realized that Arius was likely just looking for an excuse to get away. Lane watched him go for a minute, and then she turned back to Ensio. "Meerkat and I are here for you," she assured him, her gaze flicking up to Meerkat to prompt her confirmation.

Meerkat's attention fixed on Ensio when he spoke up first. Expecting to hear his opinion on Lane's suggestion to hold a vigil, what actually came out of his mouth hit her even worse than Arius's confession. Properly stupefied into silence now, Meerkat tried to internally grapple with this information. Tzila had not only told her son she would kill herself, she'd done it right in front of him? W h a t ?

Once more, Lane moved in to provide comfort while the kids' coach stood there trying to make sense of what she'd been told. Meerkat would've liked to say that seeing Lane falling into the role she should have taken motivated her to get her shit together, but it didn't. Luckily, the Alpha female was quite adept at taking the reigns here, offering her condolences to the boys and, in the next breath, telling everyone she should make the funerary arrangements.

She did have the presence of mind to return Arius's smile, her brown eyes following him as he moved away to patrol. Meerkat's attention then quickly cut back to Ensio, right as Lane said her name. She was quick to nod, realizing she must find her voice before the second son left the scene too.

"Yes," she practically choked, "just let us know if we can do anything else..." The memorial was a good start, though the Duskfire boys would surely need so much more than that. And she was meant to be their coach and their counselor. She'd sought them out for this very purpose. She wasn't doing such a great job at either role at present, though to her credit, the things they'd shared with the two women today were indescribable, unspeakable...

Once she wrapped her mind around what she'd heard, Meerkat would hopefully come up with some ways to support them. In the meantime, she thought about offering to help Lane make the arrangements. But considering how poorly her attempts at gathering the pack for fun had gone, Meerkat didn't dare try touching something as important as the Alphas' memorial service.

Nodding to both Meerkat and Lane in thanks for their supportive words, Ensio turned away. He was grateful for their presence, knowing they were there for he and Arius. But, like his brother, he needed time alone. He did not follow Arius on the path to patrol, choosing to give him his own space. He headed in the opposite direction to do the same. He'd get in some hunting while at it, unleashing his emotions on whatever poor quarry crossed his path.

Lane and Meerkat were left to themselves after the boys excused themselves. Lane turned to the young Redhawk with a sympathetic expression. "Welcome home..." she drew the words out hesitantly, the corners of her mouth twitching as she offered the weak joke. 

She shook her head, then stood and stretched. "Walk with me? I want to hear all about how it went..." Lane hoped that whatever Meerkat had to report would lift her spirits. Both she and the Tatkret leader deserved to be happy, and with any luck they had found some common ground. 

fade here?

Ensio departed with a final nod of acknowledgement, leaving Meerkat a little dumbstruck. She immediately began wondering whether she’d handled this whole situation correctly. She had been rocked by what the boys had told them, while Lane had seemed to bear a much more even keel. Perhaps that was why she was a leader.

When the Alpha female spoke, Meerkat blinked at her uncomprehendingly. Oh… she breathed, yeah. Okay. Still reeling, she offered the other woman a small, somewhat apologetic smile and then fell into step with her. Despite what she’d said to the boys, there was a lot to tell, and once she was able to get her head screwed on straight again, she would share it all with Lane.