Bearclaw Valley Ain't it a gentle sound, the rolling in the graves

It had been enough time since the raid that everyone's wounds were past critical status. The wound on her neck was still somewhat scabbed over, the open areas revealing pink, sensitive, new skin. She still walked with a limp in her hind leg, but her stamina on it was better. The leg was no longer swollen, and she thought in another months time, it would be mostly back to normal. The healer thought she might have slightly fractured something in her hip or leg, but it was healing fine; she suspected it might bother her from time time, though. 

She had decided this morning that she needed to check on @Val. She knew Stryx had helped his nose initially, but she wanted to check that it was healing okay.

She held various plants between her jaws as she limped around the valley in search of the earthclaw.

val had always held onto the notion he was, as far as wolves were concerned, a pretty good looking dude. the nose being hugely swollen (and the big, black bags under his eyes) really threw his game.

he skulked about. he was useless. his nose hurt constantly. the slightest brush sent aggravated tears to his eyes. eating hurt. breathing hurt. everything hurt.

still it was nothing compared to the others. arielle, aventus, merrick -- all of them were brutally hurt and this put val's agonies rudely into perspective.

coming across arielle, val's posture bent to one of submissive happiness. she held something between her jaws while she limped -- still, her face was as pretty as ever. it was hard for val to ignore the emotions he felt when he saw arielle: conflict, mostly -- arielle was with aventus, and val admired and looked up to aventus.. still, it was hard to ignore the butterflies in his belly when he saw her. hghi. val tried to speak, congested and disgustingly nasally.

His face was a mess; she thought she could feel the pain in her own nose when the healer reached Val and looked over his swollen muzzle. Her face scrunched in concern as she set the plants down at her paws and gingerly took a seat. 

That looks like it hurts, she told him. She pushed a piece of bark towards him. It will be uncomfortable to eat with your injured nose, but it will help. 

The bruin-heart looked away in thought for a moment before looking to Val again. I think something else will help, but we'll need to go to the channel, she explained. It's not very far from here. The water was still frigid, and she knew she would find cold, damp moss stuck to the rocks that lined the bank. 

Once he was done chewing what she had given him, Arielle carefully lifted herself back up from the ground and picked up her remaining plants, then she motioned for Val to follow her.

arielle didn't wince too much when she saw val - a plus. val tried to crack a smile and regretted it instantly. a flare of white light overtook him, and by the time he recovered from reeling arielle had slipped him something in the snow.

a piece of a tree. val looked at it, and then her -- she was kidding right?

but no. she wasn't. val took the thing dubiously between his teeth, chewing and swallowing its unpleasantry with a wince. arielle had risen by this point, and was already off -- as much as a limping healer could be. val followed, bewildered and with so many questions unspoken.

Arielle led them to a part of the channel that was lined with rocks. It was where she gathered a lot of her moss. Lay down facing me, she told him once he had stopped near her. 

Assuming he did as she asked, the healer lowered her front half near the closest rock, the move sending pain shooting through her injured hip. She winced but continued what she was doing. When she found a piece large enough, the bruin-heart scraped it from the stone surface with her teeth. Then she held her mouthful in the water until it was saturated.

She would turn back to Val and if he allowed, she would drape the cold moss over his muzzle. It's cold, I know, but it will help your nose feel better. That and the bark she had given him earlier.

val did as he was told, though he thought of stryx and the otherworldly pain she’d caused him. he wished to hear these words spoken by a woman — but not in this context, being cared for like a handicapped impotent.

a flicker of something — shyness perhaps — crossed val’s expression as he felt the intimacy of wet moss applied to his nose.

he noted the way she moved, gingerly and as if haunted by pain. why aren’t you taking care of yourself first? val felt, of all the wolves in ursus, his needs were least imperative. he was of no importance to the bear.

We'll let that sit there for a little bit, she told Val, ignoring his question at first. Then the bruin-heart took a seat and carefully slid down, her chest resting on the ground while her hips were angled so that her non-injured side was down. 

I am taking care of myself, the healer told him. I treat my pain the same as I treat yours but it does not completely eliminate it. I rest as much as I am able, but I am the healer of Ursus, and I have a job to do; the bear does not favor the weak. A little pain was a small price to pay to the spirit. 

She looked at him with the fondness of a queen to her subject. The bear also favors those who shed blood for Ursus, Arielle told him. You did well.

val held his head at a strange angle, feeling sluice dribble down the side of his face. he kept still.

when arielle sat besides him, his gaze shifted over her. all of them had earned new scars that day -- but he wondered if it was worth it. what if merrick never stopped his limp? what if arielle's brilliant burgundy fur never hid its new weakness?

it occurred to him they did an awful lot for the bear. the bear! the bear! when was the bear ever going to do something for them? give them peace, comfort, love? the things he had experienced early on in life and now was bereft of: did the bear give those too?

i did stupidly. val answered, feeling shame as he thought of their encounter in rivenwood. stryx got hurt because of me - i got hurt, because of me. i should have lead the wolf away, not... gotten caught. he sighed. everyone in ursus had some invisible purpose which pulled upon them like a thick rope knotted around their bellies -- but val had no such tether. val was always out of place. what happened to you guys?

Arielle quickly learned that Val severely lacked confidence. The bear could give him that, but he would have to open his heart first. It was hard for those who were afraid to let go of their doubts and lean into faith. She could see he was trying, though, and that was all she could ask for, at least for now. He would be tested soon enough. 

We were in a battle; it's expected that we would all suffer injuries, she told him. You made a decision and you cannot change it now, no matter how much you beat yourself up. It was all she would say on it; if he chose to continue his self-pity, then so be it. 

He wanted to know what their part in the battle was. Aves and I fought together against a larger, stronger man. Aves is far more injured than I am, but he is healing. She was in their den many times throughout the day checking on him and redosing pain medication if needed. 

The bruin-heart leaned over and pressed her nose to the moss. The side facing up was nice and cold, so she picked it up and flipped it. This needs to sit for a little longer, she explained.

more than confidence, val lacked the piece of the puzzle that all other wolves had. their edges, smoothed and rounded, fit perfectly in place among one another. val’s edges were nonsensical and frayed, unwilling to fall in groove.

he’d seen for himself aventus and merrick; true fighters, who bore the cost of their conquests in scars raised like proud flags across flayed skin. he is a good fighter. val remarked of aventus, a brow lifted. arielle was right, though — there was no use wallowing. you’re right. next time i’ll do better.

Aves was a good fighter; it was one of the many things she admired about the bruin-jaw. She nodded her agreement. As much as she admired it, though, she still felt pain in her chest any time she was reminded of the fight and how for part of it, she wasn't sure if he was alive or dead. It had been the most painful moments of her life so far. 

Val promised to do better next time. I know you will, Val, she said with a warm smile. I can sense that you have a purpose here. Time will tell what it is. The bear often gave her inklings about things, and she always tried to remain open to them.

fade here? <3

val bloomed under arielle's warm smile. it was not much, but a smile from arielle was like a boon from a god: she was often so composed and self-assured, that praise from her was like standing in a pool of sunlight a while.

thank you. a gush of gratitude overwhelmed him. he meant it, truly. thank you for everything. for your belief. for your help. for saving me from the bear.

but not her bear -- his own. those yellow eyes always lurked.

he would sleep that night restlessly, and in those dreams he would wrestle with the shadow of the bear; in the morning he would wake and resume his patrols, a new scar notched to his muzzle and his gait a little stiffer.

<3

You're welcome, she answered softly. I will check on your wounds tomorrow.

She would take her leave then, heading back to mosskeep. There was much for her to do right now, with so many in the pack injured.

She felt like Val was a promising member of Ursus. Soon he would be tested for the last time, and then she would know if he was truly worthy. Deep down, she knew he was, but the bear had the final say.