Redhawk Caldera tealpoint

figured this was okay, iris, but def lmk if not/if u want to thread that visit out as well! <3

but teya had not told @Reyes.
she had waited two weeks and then gone to visit @Eljay again, and when the confirmation had come, she had gotten up and left without speaking.
after three hours of wandering aimlessly through the borders, she forced herself inward toward the lake, and swam the small distance to the island.
her voice broke as she called for her mate. teya was diminished and visibly upset, and lay down where she stood, still weak with nausea.
but this time she did not cry.

It was unusual to go for such a long period without seeing Teya. It wasn't really that long if he thought about it - a couple of hours, during which he had been doing a quick patrol while making his way to their shared space, to check if she was there.

For about half an hour Reyes was alone there. He hadn't found Teya until she'd wanted to be found, and as she called to him Reyes emerged from the Hobbit Hole with a smile and a waving tail. 

That didn't last long. Teya's figure was condensed, her face a mess. She looked almost ill and immediately upon recognizing this, Reyes rushed to her.

Teya — are you alright? You look -- uh, can I get you some water?

reyes was worried.
"i not want water." her voice was dull, even as the raven filled with an irritation held solely for her mate. "i not want anything." teya pushed herself to a sitting position. 
she didn't think she could look at him and so she did not. teya fixed her eyes on the blue, lapping water.
"i went to see eljay. twice. he says i am pregnant."
vomit boiled in her throat.
"how it can be, i not know. nothing — nothing changed."
teya drew a shaking breath and at last dragged her gaze over to reyes. 
for a long moment, she resented him.

The unease within Reyes deepened as Teya spoke her truth. She said she had seen Eljay multiple times and that made Reyes worry all the more, until the truth came out -- and they stood in slack-jawed silence together. The man was slack-jawed anyway, while Teya looked like some kind of panicked rabbit about to be set upon within her warren.

Not a word was shared between them for a long moment. 

Reyes didn't know what to say; he didn't know how he felt, and was so stunned that he had nothing to offer her.

reyes did not move. he did not speak. teya felt self-loathing and bitterness wash through her as if it were a shoal of burning oil.
she swallowed.
the sickness lingered mockingly at the back of her throat, reminding her that she was in the grip of something far, far beyond her control.
"i not want to be a mother, reyes," the raven whispered hoarsely, voice breaking as she hung her head. it had never been in her life's plans. she had loved the fen and she loved the caldera. but unkind things happened to mothers. 
teya desperately needed her mate to speak.

If anything zipped through his mind he didn't give any physical indication.

She didn't want to be a mother.
I can't be a father. He answered almost immediately, unable to hold back the sentiment when he heard it mirrored by his mate.

His thoughts drifted to Towhee and the children, back when they were small and easily cared for, back before it all went wrong. As much as it terrified him to know Teya carried new life within herself, Reyes couldn't help but wonder if he was being given a second chance.

She looked terrified.
He didn't know how to feel yet.

What can we do? Kill them? He looked at her sides, wondering how far along she was; she didn't look different yet. Maybe it was early enough. But Reyes then imagined how different his life would have been if he'd said the same thing to Towhee -- what if Caracal had never been born? The twins? 

He couldn't look at her any longer and turned away, stunned by his own suggestion.

you already are! teya almost snapped. her jaw tensed; she held it shut and took a long breath.
it was reyes' next blunt statement that brought her head snapping toward him, eyes incredulous and still glittering with tears. had he truly just said that aloud? the sentiment was shared, but teya still was shaken with a rootless sense of shock that twisted in her already delicate gut.
eventually she was presented with the red lines of his back. the raven's ears pinned against her skull in anger and shame and hurt. he blamed her.
reyes blamed her.
it did not matter what he felt. teya cleared her throat, sniffed back the last of the saltwater, and padded away from him in tense sharp strides that suggested he should not follow.

When he looked back, she was already lengths away. 

He took a step; he raised his head and started to call out her name to stop her, but Reyes felt his voice catch.

There was no taking back that suggestion. He'd ruined something between them by uttering that vile thought. 

Reyes grimaced as he turned away again, this time to go his own way.