Two Rivers Isle I'll lay out all my reasons, you'll say that I need help

Ady moved through the pack lands. Brown eyes scanning from one tree to the next. Snowflakes falling upon her already white coat, making it feel heavy and cold, but not terribly so. Tree branches were pulled down low from the amount of snow atop them. It was beautiful and ethereal and she couldn't help, but take a moment to just breathe in and breathe out. Her breath misting out and dancing along the foggy morning.

She settled to her haunches and watched some of the winter birds as they claimed land, fought over food, and sang to their hearts content. A bright smile upon her face.

was thinking we could bump the date to the present and use this for the counselor trade like you wanted?

Ulrich had gone and done his border patrol duties, refreshing the scent markings and checking for danger. Everything had gone well, nothing out of place, so he headed back inland and found the scent of his wife on the wind. Smiling to himself, he followed the smell of her, growing shy at the thought of what they had done not so very long ago, and wondering, hoping, praying that children would result.

Children. He could not believe that he would be a father. As he approached Adylaide, bumping his forehead against hers in their usual greeting, he sat back and said, Good morning. It's a beautiful day. Which was an odd thing for him to say, because normally he did not comment on beautiful things. But the idea of fatherhood was infecting his every thought, and everything was beautiful today.

works for me

Ady gave a soft purl as he touched his head to hers. Hello Ully! She crooned at him. It absolutely is beautiful.

Ady looked him over and smiled. You look absolutely happy today. What has you in such good spirits? Not that I am complaining.

She leaned against him briefly and looked out over the land. We have made a good home here, Ully. It makes me peaceful.

She thought of her family then, and though she did miss them in her own way. She also knew that things happened for a reason. And though it had been a harsh lesson. Her family had pressed their advantages and disadvantages and caused issues for themselves and almost her.

Ulrich grew shy at her question. What made him so happy today... Well, he began glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. I'll be a father soon. And you'll be a mother. Isn't that enough of a reason to celebrate? And a soft smile touched his maw, his eyes glowing. I never thought in a million years that this would happen to me. Fatherhood. It's scary, but exciting.

He pressed against her when she leaned on him, savoring her warmth in the winter cold. Yes, he said. The Isle is... perfect. He glanced down at her again and saw her face deep in thought. What is it?

Ady's tail moved of it's own accord at the mention of motherhood and fatherhood. She was determined that she would be better than her own. They hadn't been bad parents exactly, but they definitely hadn't been good ones either.

Oh. She looked down sheepish. I was just thinking of my family and how I don't want to be anything like them. I was also thinking that despite the terrible ordeal we were through, we wouldn't be here without it. Just well everything happens for a reason i guess, even if it's horrifying.

Ulrich grew sad at her words and only pressed against her harder, as if trying to protect her from the world. You won't be anything like them, he assured her, his voice firm. And... and if we had to go through all that horror to get to this point, then it was all worth it, wasn't it? If we'd stayed, if nothing had changed, then we would not be married now. We wouldn't be expecting children. And the thought of children seemed to warm him again, so that his body relaxed. You'll be a great mother, Adylaide. I promise you that.

A small lift of maw into a genteel smile as he pressed harder against her. Her husband always thinking of her, always reassuring her with words, with actions, with touch. He was amazing and she was so very lucky.

I believe it was worth it. It was horrifying, but we both came out okay, we both came out better.

She chuckled. and nodded. She would do her best to be great, at the very least good. As long as they were healthy, they were happy. She cared not one whit about anything else. 

You will also be a great father.

short post to catch up bc I am behind on posts

Ulrich still smiled, but his mind had wandered elsewhere, down a dark path. His smile slowly fell as he continued to think about it, and he glanced away, staring at nothing. Do you... do you have nightmares? About what happened when we left? He asked it quietly, still not looking at her, as if afraid to know her answer. But he needed to know. He needed to know if he was the only one.

No worries. :D

His quiet question took her off guard and she gathered him to her tighter if she could. She wasn't quite sure where he began and she ended. She knew that feeling well. She often had them. The blood that had stained her paws red. The screams, the loud noises. The wild look in Ulrich's eyes as he had pulled her from the place where her family lay broken and bloody.

She felt her throat tighten and she had to take a deep steadying breath, but she nodded. Once a very firm nod. 

I do. I try and think of good things when i wake up. Good memories. That was a horrifying scene you pulled me from, Ully. I'm not quite sure if I would have been as well adjusted if I hadn't been pulled from it so quickly.

He let her hold him, let her warmth seep into him and calm him. In a distant voice, as if he were somewhere else, he said, Yes. I wanted to—I tried to get you out as quickly as I could. But I was not thinking of nightmares at the time, only of your safety. Still, I… I’m glad that you aren’t as… He winced. That you aren’t as traumatized as you could have been, I suppose.

He fell silent, then, thinking of all the nightmares he’d had that had had nothing to do with that night. All the things the king had made him do against his will, to others. His nightmares has begun so long ago that what was the point of complaining about a few more? He stood there in Adylaide’s embrace, but he was now stiff with emotional distress.

Ady moved her head back to study him. The distress upon his features and the sadness in them. She wanted to ease it, but she didn't know what horrors he kept close to the breast, or if it would even help him to talk about it. It helped her, but what if Ully didn't heal like she did by talking. But she also couldn't allow him to eternalize such traumatic things.

Ulrich, do you want to talk about it? I know it's not just the end. I know bad things happened under my parents rule and you probably had to do things you didn't want too. I'm not that naive. How can I help you my love?

Her suggestion terrified him. He stared at her with wide eyes, mouth opening and closing several times as he tried to think of how he could get out of telling her all about the worst of himself. Finally, he settled on the truth. I don't... I can't tell you that... All of that. If you knew all the things I have done, in the name of your parents, you'd hate me. He turned away from her, staring out at nothing, seeing only what was in his mind. I... I've done... awful things.

Terror blinked at her from honey brown eyes. And she felt her heart aching. Her parents had done both of them so wrongly, but none more so than Ulrich. She wondered how he could love her as he did, knowing that her parents were truly what nightmares were made of.

Yet the worst part was that he thought she would hate him. She could never hate him. he had done a job and he had done it well and she couldn't blame him for that. Not really. When you were raised a certain way. She understood a lot of others on the outside looking in. They may be like well you had choices, well no he didn't not really.

She moved to press against him. She spoke softly. I could never hate you Ully. Not ever. But if you can't tell me, that's okay, but know that the option is open should you like it. And everything you did or didn't do it or whatever that's in the past. I would never judge you for it either.

She was so open and so loving, and his first instinct was to cringe away from her, to close himself up, to curl into a ball and never uncurl himself again. He wanted to go find a hole to lay in, somewhere away from the sun, and hide. He had survived up to this point by telling himself that he was doing a good thing with the Isle, that he was helping others. But was it enough? Was it enough to make up for all the things he had done in his past? Things that no one but a few knew about, and two of those wolves were dead now? He turned away from her, for it was the only way he would be able to speak.

We had... enemies, he began, and speaking felt like ripping his throat open, spilling his blood on the ground. Baring his soul. Often, I was... I was tasked with... removing these enemies to the crown. Those who whispered of rebellion. I knew a day was coming like the one we ran from, long before it ever occurred. Your parents were... almost universally hated, and it was my job to be their... weapon. To make others... fear them. He stopped, his voice choked off entirely.

She knew that he would have a hard time with this request. She also knew that he would very possibly turn her down and not wish to speak of it. However, she must try for his sake and hers. If he was to move past this, he needed to speak on it. No matter how hard it was and she supposed that was the hardest thing to listen to him, feel so sad.

He said we and she knew it wasn't not we, it was her parents. Her parents had enemies. The more he spoke the harder it was to swallow. Then she was angry. So angry at her parents for making this beautiful wolf in front of her a weapon. Make him feel disgusting and worthless and evil. That was the biggest unjustice. 

She huffed. Well my parents were just awful weren't they. She pounded her tiny paws into the dirt. ::This makes me very angry Ulrich! They had no right to do that to you. It is not your fault. They should have been ashamed and I hope they were. I loved them, but they were unjust in their cruelty.

Somehow, his wife's words did not make him feel better, but worse. He cringed as she spoke, pulling his head down between his shoulders, his ears splayed backwards against his head. I never wanted you to know about this, he whispered. Ever. I wanted you to protect you from all of this. From them. I wanted you to... grow up happy and oblivious. To grow up to be... not like them. And you did. But now you know. And I... He stopped speaking, unsure of how to even end that sentence, though his instinct was to say, 'And I failed you.' I'm sorry, is what he said instead. Sorry for what? That she knew, now? That he had done all those things? That her parents had been terrible people? All of that, and more.

She saw him fall into himself and she was dismayed at herself for her reaction. He hadn't needed what she had given. He had needed calm, relaxed words. Nice words. She licked along her muzzle and quickly pressed against him and stuck her head under his so she could hear the heartbeat there strong and hearty.

You have nothing tomapologize for. It is them that should be apologizing to both of us, but unfortunately they are not here. But I can apologize for them. I'm sorry they put you through that. But I am so glad you were there when i needed you, anytime I did.

She waved a paw. It is over now. We will make the life they should have. We will be kind to those beneath us and we will be together.

She took a deep breath I know that wasn't easy for you. Thank you for telling me.

Ulrich rested his chin atop Adylaide's head when she came forward. He wanted to hide away still, but that was not an option, and he probably should not want to hide from his wife. You do not need to apologize for your parents, he murmured. They got-- He cut himself off, surprised at himself. He'd been about to say that they'd gotten what they had deserved, but did he really think things like that? Wasn't that the sort of thinking he'd been trying to avoid?

Yes, he said, quickly, to her next words. We will build a new life here. We have built a new life here. And I am... happy. He took a breath. I'm... glad I told you. And he meant it, mostly. He was glad it was finally out, is more what he meant. Maybe now his nightmares would lessen.

[Fade? This is p old.]

sure <3

Ady lay her head along his shoulder and smiled into his fur. Her parents had done bad things. Perhaps theyd gotten what they deserved, but she Darent say that. After all consequences reaped what you sowed whether good or bad depended on the task in question.

She would change the subject and pass the time woth lighthearted things