Redtail Rise amoroso

going to not reference the reki situation and just hand wave until that is resolved <3

tags for reference! making the assumption she's been having symptoms bc I thought I read that, if not we can assume this is later or I can modify

Things were not much different than last year. Ashlar still brought @Avicus herbs, when needed, to help to settle things. He hunted and he wandered and he waited. Nothing was different but everything had changed.

He did not think, even in the Rise, he would be a father. At first he had worried he would not be able to give children of his blood and heart to Avicus to raise; he should have known better. Last year's children flourished and his would do the same, especially with the threat of war gone from their home.

He still worried. Avicus' mood seemed lifted but he was sure to be present when he could be. A lot had happened.

@Prophet would be just as much their father... and the rest of the Rise too. But they would be here, with him, and they would know him. He would do right in a way he hadn't been able to before. Ashlar smiled as he continued his quiet patrolling of the northern border. It was a task that was maybe better suited for a soldier, but the bard had energy he needed to expend. He was optimistic that he could face whatever he might meet.

There is a soft spot in Prophet's heart for the Hǣlend.

Perhaps he does not need to speak on it for it to be known. Yet there is a want to maybe...show it. So that the man knew he was valued by more than just Avicus or when those are injured.

He could not help but remember the faces he had grown attached to before. How many of them had drifted away?

Ashlar is a constant.

Prophet offered out a warm sound and reached for the shoulder of the man with a more delicate, friendlier touch.

Ashlar smiled when Prophet came upon him with a light touch and ducked his head in a shy greeting. Ever since their talk he’d nursed an ember that burned similarly to others. Yet he knew the Berserkr belong to Avicus.

Did he know what Ashlar had done? Did he accept it?

Ashlar remembered Chacal and Ratio and guilt rose in his chest. Both had ended when he had misstepped without knowing.

I was checking the border. He said quietly, looking out at the surrounding area. He would welcome the company of someone more experienced, but he felt wrong accepting it and knowing what he knew.

Checking the borders.

His eyes swept over the shoulders of Ashlar and out beyond. It's odd. He exhaled softly into the frigid air. A sense of peace among us now, I think.

He did not sweep on high alert for the white woman any more. Their job had been done and then had returned as whole as they could. Yet something about that displaced him. His status hinged on war, on fighting.

What was a Berserkr without a fight?

Are you settling well now that we're home again?

He meant to keep himself here in the healer's company, if not sent away.

He spoke of peace but did not seem relieved, not the way Ashlar felt. Instead he seemed unsure. It hadn’t occurred to the bard, until that moment, that the rest of the Rise might also lack an understanding for things beyond bloodshed.

This is what I wanted from the start. He offered quietly, a soft and somewhat hesitant smile on his face. He would admit it even if it marked him different from the others. Home is where we should be, and I’m glad for it. He was lighter than he had been in months.

Buoyed by peace, but by other things too. Soon there will be pups. He glowed at the thought and watched Prophet, wondering if he knew and searching for the way to tell. He could not hold such a thing back and he thought, with her insistence, that Avicus would not mind. He loved Prophet dearly; if they were to be fathers, they should share this.

They found different paths here, in those words.

Yet Prophet did not look at Ashlar any different for it. Perhaps it was more glowing for the man to have been here when the start had not been what he wanted. Now rewarded for it with the death of the white woman and dissolve of her group.

His brain is drawn from it with discussions of children.

Yes. A soft twitch of his lips, that lowered just as quickly. Are you ready for them?

Even Prophet did not know in what way he asked this! Only that there was a fiery warmth in his eyes when he did ask.

The other man seemed serious but eager at the thought of it. Ashlar saw the warmth and it echoed through him, though he could not help the way the nerves took him. It was Avicus’ choice, one neither of them had the right to overturn, but he would regret if it diminished him in the other man’s eyes.

I am. They’re…. they’re mine too. Maybe. She… I hope… He did not know how to say what he hoped. The words died, and then he began again softly. I’m glad. I hope you are too.

He would not blame Prophet if he was not. None of the children within the Rise were his - not even those that bore his blood. He wondered if Prophet felt similarly - and if he disliked the idea of sharing further the limited claim he had.

Had he thought —

No, thinking never did much good. Last years had never been just his anyway. Only Lilia felt like his own true own. Yet even she belonged to the Rise, not just him.

Everything for Avicus. Always.

Right?

This whole thing inspired a feeling of déjà vu. It struck him hard and with a slick acid in his throat. It was not at Ashlar, it was not at Avicus. It flared inward at himself. A toxic masculinity taking a hit.

You're good with the children. His voice felt disconnected from his mind. It is good that they would know you as — father.

Prophet’s voice was kind enough, but the words had him immediately shake his head. His throat grew thick with embarrassment, but there was peace with this too. He had known from the start what his place would be.

It won’t be different. He replied softly, looking away briefly. I’ll know. But they won’t know me. The respect of the rise was different, and none of the children aside from Reki looked to him the way they did Prophet and Augur. He would not expect it… and he would not ask it.

But they’ll be here. And that in itself was enough. True fatherhood was something that he would never have, but at least this year he would not be torn.

How did it work in such a way?

If they are here, they know you.

Unless Avicus wished it to be otherwise. Did she? Surely not if she had picked the healer too.

Prophet suddenly grappled with the complexity of his long-term relationship.

You will love them, won't you?

Why did he ask when his heart already whispered the answer?

gonna wrap this <3 hope things are ok!!

Ashlar nodded immediately, though his words caught still at the worry that Prophet might be upset. Avicus had chosen them both, and Ashlar wished to respect this, but he did not wish it to cost him a friendship.

Not like that. Not like they will know you, his mind silently added, though he kept this to himself. It would be unfair to voice it when he held no resentment. This was just the way things would be.

They will become strong, like you and her. He finished instead with a small but genuine smile. No more war to fight but Avicus would no doubt raise them fiercely. He had his own roles to tend.

But… thank you. Softer, warm. The man’s confidences in him meant a great deal. He wanted Prophet to know this.