Neverwinter Forest doesn't matter anymore if what we say is true

for @Iiana; also, oops sorry you get a moody kivaluk. wasn't where i saw this post going when i started writing it, lol.

his mother has found happiness ... and presumably akkuma and his father, too! ... but all kivaluk feels is brewing resentment, detachment and confusion. warring and stormborn emotions that fester the longer he does not act upon them.

but how?

he paces in the heart of neverwinter forest, close to moonglow but far enough away to feel like it's allowing him to clear his mind.

why did they even exist?

why did he feel these things? where did they stem from? was it because he was a year old and he was celebrating — if skulking in the forest could be considered celebrating — by himself?

he was accomplished. he was second hunter — maybe first now that rodyn had split from the pack.

and it wasn't as if he didn't want his mother to move on, to find the happiness she deserved.

perhaps, secretly, it was fear of abandonment, as kigipigak and akkuma have abandoned him. perhaps he saw her new happiness, the new cubs she was carrying as the signs that he wasn't important anymore. unneeded.

the snow fell, thick grey clouds obscured what little sunshine he'd chased that morning into neverwinter's heart and his mood sours.

@Kivaluk no worries! i can work with this lolol

iiana's ears pricked up at the sound of another set of steps caught her attention. aiming her russet muzzle in the direction of the wind, she caught a scent and turned back around. another wolf roamed these very woods alongside her. her tail lashed as her bright yellow eyes squinted into a crimson shape to find the fellow wolf.

normally, she'd be a bit more careful with how she made herself known to another wolf, especially in the cramped woods where she was more likely to ram into a tree than win any fight against a rival. but she'd gotten a little anxious. surrounded by darkness and being able to hear the sound of steps that weren't her own frightened her more than she was willing to admit.

"who's there?" the wolf gave a guttural bark towards the stranger, her tone serious but by no means hostile. iiana was in no mood to fight with a wolf, especially a pack wolf which her scent had picked up on. she'd had enough fights with one stray pack wolf running back to get the rest of its pack only for her to be surrounded by several. she stood still and kept her ears stood at full attention until she received a response that eased her worries.

the guttural chuff and question that kivaluk, dour mood souring with a frown etching itself into the lines of his face, took to be a demand settles like a brewing storm in kivaluk's chest.

kingullimik draws in a breath; contemplating.

not answering.

chasing off.

silverbound gaze settles upon the stranger, taking her colors: earthen in nature, and a bit of varying shades of coffee. warm. the only warmth on kivaluk was the red markings he bore.

sakhmet's influence on what would otherwise be stony colors of kigipigak's homeland.

of the qeya river, even.

who's asking? comes his retort; an unfair manifestation of his mood which he understood had nothing to do with her. unfortunately, she was the unlucky winner to catch the sting of it.

the disgruntled reply only made iiana's eyes narrow like crescent moons. she turned to face the voice, contemplating giving her name to the stranger. green eyes met with silver and one glance at the wolf even in the darkness told her clearly they weren't up for chit-chatting it up in the dark woods.

"..Iiana, Ozia. who're you?" it took a moment for the wolf to respond, though she calmed down a slight bit knowing it was someone who seemed similarly disinterested in a fight. or at least, she hoped so. here, there mustve been enough room for them to fight without crashing into the bark of the woods, though not enough to allow moonlight so much as slip through the gaps between the leaves.  needless to say it'd make for more than just an irritating scuffle.

"..i mean no trouble, if that's what you're worried about." she softened her tone, though her hackles remained raised.

whatever turmoil he's feeling: a lot of big changes that kivaluk was grown enough to handle and deal with in a mature manner ( he needs to remind himself of this ) ... it's not the stranger's fault.

his inability to confront his own issues and bury them beneath his goals was not working as it had when he'd been a child. he was a man grown now.

guilt sets in as his inner monologue scolds him.

kivaluk, of moonglow. he offers; followed by a small pause and a soft sigh. i apologize for coming off as i did.

he feels only worse when she tells him she means no trouble and he takes note of her raised hackles.

are you from around here? he asks, a bit awkwardly after the tense initial greeting(s); latching onto the fact that her scent is wholly unfamiliar to him and trying to make an effort to prove he wasn't a total boar.

iiana calmed down a little upon the other wolf settling down. her hackles lowered, and her gaze visibly softened after the apology, her anxieties washed away. just seemed this wolf was in a bad mood, but meant no harm.. he seemed rather young, too. younger than iiana had realized. she smiled and then nodded.

it's fine, i understand.. her tail swayed from side to side slowly, hesitant to pick up speed. not exactly, hah. i've got a strange smell, right? she chuckled. no, no.. i've arrived only recently. and you?

guilt twists his gut again when she brushes it off, reassuring him that it was fine.

he disagreed; but ultimately digressed.

last thing he wanted was to have an argument when he was capable of holding himself accountable for his own behavior.

not strange, he is quick to correct. just ...not recognizable to me. which, in all fairness could be from anywhere in the wilds that he hadn't been. there were many regions he hadn't explored yet!

i was born in these lands. kivaluk replies to the question being turned back upon him.

with this response, iiana assumed that these wolves never ventured past the wilds, maybe even past their own territories.. was it that easy to live here? no, not easy, but there was always enough food and dens to keep one sheltered and live to the next day. without trucking along the next morning to find food. she smiled at the wolf, momentarily lost in her own thoughts as she shook her head to refocus herself.

this is a strange question then; do you like it here? have you seen the outside of the wilds? she tilted her head before taking a seat. 
i have. but i'm starting to quite like it here..

do you like it here?

no one had ever asked him that before! kivaluk is not quick to answer, instead contemplating his response. knee-jerk would say 'yes, of course' as if that was the most ridiculous question ever asked of him.

but it wasn't. it invoked thought.

did he?

i have never stepped outside these wilds, but his father has. his brother has ... and presumably his mother to. kivaluk is the only one that has desired to remain in any capacity. so i have nothing to compare to.

i have known nothing else.

a riddle for an answer.

iiana tilted her head curiously at the wolf but then shook it.
i'm sorry- it's not a bad thing. in here, resources are a lot more abundant. wolves seem nicer, or at least less quick to fight upon meeting.
she reassured, tail tucked closely to her body as she recognized she'd probably struck a cord in the other wolf.


like i said, it's quite nice here. i can't imagine a reason to leave.

she apologizes ... but for what, kivaluk cannot help but wonder.

it is my choice. he offers as explanation and perhaps even as reassurance. he did not feel like he was missing out on anything but never stepping foot outside the teekon wilds.

though he fluctuates between attempting to find kigipigak ... he never does. maybe because kivaluk wasn't sure what he would do if he found him. the reunion, he suspects, would not be a joyful one.

not when this time felt like blatant abandonment.

out of it, his mother found love in kukutux.

but kivaluk still suffers from the sting of it.

depends on the wolves and pack, kivaluk corrects with a low chuckle. i don't imagine all are friendly. but he supposes he is happy for her that she had yet to come across any unsavory types.

so sorry for all the delay; just been busy with college and commission work

it's a good one then. she gave a stiff smile in return to kivaluk's reassurance. well.. of course; i'm sure theres some less kind wolves out there. it'd be impossible if there wasn't at least one wolf that didn't have a bone to pick with the rest. iiana scoffed this out, furrowing her brow.

iiana didn't know much about the other, but could tell there was quite a bit of weight on his shoulders. just from the way he carried himself. for that, she felt a little sympathy for him, but didn't dare pry in to a stranger's business. she herself wondered how she seemed to the other; maybe carefree? it was a little stupid to be a lone wolf wandering such an unfamiliar territory on her own. it was probably pure luck she hadn't encountered someone that'll nip at her ankles for daring to teeter too close for comfort.

she technically has a pack now but just going off of when we started the RP

no worries! <3

to her assurance that his choosing to stay in the wilds was a good one causes a small frown to tug at the corners of his lips.

he finds that he disagrees.

or at least was willing to play the devil's advocate.

because ... was it? he stayed because he loved his mother, because he wanted to be a stable presence for her. he stayed because of his unyielding sense of duty.

was his staying out of cowardice towards the consequences or what he would find if he left?

he tucks all those thoughts away, aggressively shoving them into some dark, forgotten corner of his mind. things he does not wish to focus on.

of that, i am sure there are plenty, kivaluk says with a dark chuckle. i think everyone has a bone to pick with someone. i do. but it wasn't innocent strangers he comes across on his trips.

the other wolf's chuckle told iiana more than she'd already assumed. she wondered how soon would it be that she'd encounter one of these wolves out in the wild. hopefully once she'd gotten acquiantanted with other wolves so she and them could just chase the pest away.

it was his addition to his response that caught her attention though. oh? a rivalry? or did someone wrong you? perhaps she'd pried in a little more than what she would've liked but it was hard to fight away intrigue now at the other's comment.

in lieu of not wishing to broadcast his family drama to the world — though in all fairness, he opened that proverbial can of worms — he just offers her a wiry grin.

something like that.

a riddle. an answer without actually answering. a diversion.

he was working on not oversharing.

well, kivaluk drawls in a soft inhale. i should probably start heading back to moonglow. spoken like a teenager that had a curfew; a bit sheepishly but not at all ashamed that he'd 'snuck out'.

she returns her own girn in response to the other. she attempted to gaze up through the gaps in the treetops to see if she could see how much time has passed with this conversation. but no go, so instead she just turned back to kivaluk and gave an understanding nod.

of course.. we've been here chit-chatting for a while now, hah. perhaps we'll see eachother around then? she tilted her head curiously, not really expecting an answer. ..if not, stay safe on your travels.

see you around. kivaluk offers with a soft wag of his tail and a small grin before he heads off in his own direction; making his way back to moonglow.