A Change of Pace

@Thistle Cloud

Hawkeye slowly walked until she reached the borders of the lands that smelled like Thistle. She guessed the area due to the direction the female had limped off in, and, of course, since she smelled like salt water; Hawkeye had visited her sister and Kisu a few times near their old home and figured Thistle's would be somewhere near the shore.

The journey took longer than expected, and the female was relieved when she arrived. Looking around a moment, she sat and raised her muzzle into the air and let out a call for the strong Thistle to come talk. After she was done, Hawkeye scanned the land and waited.

Thistle heard the howl come across the lands and she strode towards it, her blue eyes bright and dancing as she met her new found friend. She offered a small smile and a chuff, when she reached the regal Hawkeye. hello Hawkeye, your eye looks much better? Have you your own healer?

Thistle sat down to her haunches mindful of the borders between the two. She knew that the femme in front of her would be respectful enough to stay on her side of the borders. Thistle was okay with a jaunt too, though she did not like to go far usually, though lately she went further and further as time went, to restless to stay with all the goings on happening to her family and her life being upturned.

The dark she-wolf got up to greet Thistle, and lowered herself to her haunches again when the other female did. She nodded at the question. "Yes. Her name is Blue Willow. Your kindness and healing abilities remind me of her." She briefly wondered if she was just "saying" that her eyes was better, but Hawkeye wiped the thought away, immediately knowing that she wouldn't just say that — she would try to help.

"So," she started. "We don't know each other very well, and I thought we could get to know one another. You not only kept my daughter safe, you also fought beside me against a cougar. Not many would do that, especially a wolf that doesn't even know me." The midnight wolf would be forever grateful to the blue-eyed female before her.

Thistle smiled i am glad you have a healer. I was worried for you, that was a nasty slash there. I just had a small concussion, i was a little dizzy Nerian fixed me up though. Thistle shifted and then perked her ears forward at the next words.

Thistle chuckled Well what would you like to know? and you did the same, didn't you. You helped me to protect your daughter who though her time was brief I certainly loved her as a foster daughter, and you helped to protect me. Was the other child yours as well?

Hawkeye smiled. "I am glad I have her as well. I didn't appreciate her much before. I was bitter and not very kind to her. She is caring, though, and an Alpha I am glad to have." The Amazonian paused a beat. "Is Nerian a healer, too? Your apprentice?" Hawkeye now thought that maybe she should have asked Blue Willow to teach her to heal, especially since she had children.

The female hmm'ed a moment. "Well... what is your life like? You said you have children? Maybe we can have a 'play date' of sorts. I am assuming you have a mate, then?"

Hawkeye moved right on to answering the question pertaining to her other daughter that showed up the day they had fought the cougar. "Yes. I mean... She was my sister's. She died giving birth, so I have been a foster mother to her and her brother." It made Hawkeye sad that Pied was gone, but she truly loved her and Kisu's children as her own.

edit: forgot to bold dialogue

Thistle listened and chuckled at the next question. Nerian was not her apprentice, she was her sister wife. How do you explain that to a complete stranger. Oh well you know she's a healer and also my husbands lover, because i wasn't enough. Yea she decided that was not a door she even wanted to attempt to open. she is a healer and a priestess, but no she is not my apprentice.

The next question and she realized she would have to tell the truth of Nerian someday. yes my husband is Jarl and I would like that. I have three myself two sons and a daughter. Ein, Tveir and Gyda...the boys are allowed to choose their own names, right now their names mean one and two. she shifted and gave her a small smile, feeling a little strange at the current circumstances she was in, but not knowing how to explain that to someone yet, and she didn't wish to scare this femme away. That was very nice of you. do any of hte children at least look like their mother? That would be nice.

Hawkeye nodded, noticing that she had other thoughts on this Nerian, but the dark female wouldn't pry. Had she done something wrong? She probably came from another place if she was both a healer and a priestess... hmm.

She smiled at the mention of two boys. "I have three girls and a boy myself. I think three boys would be much easier than three girls. The one you met, Junior... she's stubborn, adventurous, and very dominant. I suppose she is just like I was at that age. I hope it doesn't get her into anymore trouble than it already has." Hawkeye paused a beat. "Both of her children actually have some features. Her daughter, the one you saw, has stark white fur like her mother, Pied. The rust on her ears and face comes from her father, but her indigo eyes are from Pied. Her son has the blue-grey freckles on his face and on the scruff of his neck that his mother had." She smiled. "I suppose they take much more after Pied than their father. It probably breaks his heart every time he sees his daughter."

The dark female has realized her eyes had moved to the ground at some point. "Anyway," she said, looking up. "What's your pack like?" Hawkeye said this in a lowered, gruff voice, as if saying "gimme the juicy details!"

Thistle froze at the mention of Pied and stared at Hawkeye dumb struck. Did you just say Pied? She was my friend...i thought she had perished in the landslide...now to find out she had survived and her pups survive that is truly amazing. I am sorry that she has died though, she was the first wolf to show me kindness when i first came here. I enjoyed her company.

Thistle shrugged , My husband runs the pack like viking culture, it is a culture from the north, they speak Norse. We are very closely knit, we are a family here in the bay. We follow norse traditions and holidays, and though you do not have to follow the norse religion, we do ask that you at least respect the gods I myself am a follower of Frigga and Freya. S

It was Hawkeye's turn to stare dumb struck. "You... you knew Pied? I can't believe... I am glad that memory of her lives on in someone else. I though she was forgotten by everyone but me and her mate." A bittersweet smile appeared on her face. She was happy that Thistle had been a friend to Pied.

"That sounds like an old pack I was in, but it wasn't Norse. It was bear gods... you had to follow them, though, otherwise you were shunned." At least, that's what Hawkeye remembered. "Who are Frigga and Freya?" Hawkeye inquired. "That means you are Alpha!" The dark female stated. "Wow, I didn't know I was in the presence of Viking royalty." She bowed her head and then winked at Thistle, not knowing that she was the mate of the Alpha, but not Alpha herself.

Thistle chuckled I do not think it is possible to forget Pied, she was truly one of a kind and so very friendly. Thistle thought back to the few times that Pied had been there to talk with her, she was glad she had survived the landslide and had bore her pups, but extremely sad that she herself had perished.

Thistle shook her head we do not shun you here if you do not follow, just ask that you respect them and those that do. Hmm well lets see Frigga is the goddess of love, destiny and marriage and she is married to the all father Odin. Now Freya is the goddess of beauty and sensual love, but she is also a valkyrie, a warrior and she is goddess of war and death. She is the one who helps to collect the warriors that die and then when their lovers and wives die she collects them as well to reunite them in the after life. She is only allowed half of the warriors though, as Odin gets the other half. She smiled then proud of the culture that she now followed, proud of her husband for being a warrior and she would strive to keep him on the straight and narrow so he too could go to Valhalla in the end of his days.

Hawkeye smiled. "Yea... she was one of a kind. I am lucky to have had her as a sister." She remembered the day Pied left to be with Kisu, and she lost a piece of herself; then, she gained it back when she had returned. Pied and her had joked about having litters at the same time, but they never planned for Pied dying herself — the concern always laid with the pups' health. Hawkeye was glad that her niece and nephew had turned out healthy, though. Pied would have been happy with that.

The black female smiled once more with Thistle's descriptions of the goddesses. "Freya sounds like my kinda gal!" She exclaimed. "Err... I mean, my kind of goddess." The midnight wolf did not want to offend Thistle by making the sandy wolf think that Hawkeye was not serious. "I could get behind those beliefs," she stated honestly.

She changed the subject and asked, "How long have you and your mate been together?" She was both curious and interested in the personal aspects of Thistle's life. Hawkeye was "in your face" with some things, but she genuinely wanted to be friends with the female who had taken care of O.J.

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Thistle saw the sadness mar the moment and she leaned forward to touch her new friend gently on the brow. Loss always hurts, we can only hope that it lessens with time and those that are left behind remember those who went ahead fondly. After all they never really leave us. She smiled then and grew quiet and listened to the other femme speak of her gods.

Thistle chuckled We are always recruiting you are welcome here I’m sure my husband would not mind. Freya is my kind of goddess as well as is Frigga. Thistle shrugged then with a small smile, happy to offer the other female a place here in the pack that she loved.

Thistle thought about it and spoke softly For a few months, he took care of me when I needed it most. And as time wore on I grew to love him. Our’s had been a marriage of convenience at first. He and I we argue, heatedly and somewhere along the line that passion turned to red hot love and here I stand. She smiled then a happy smile, even though she would get mad at her husband often and she did not like sharing him, she did love him. She loved him more than she would ever admit.

Hawkeye smiled. For the first time, she felt at peace with Pied's death. To gain and lose a sister would always hurt, but positive reminders were all that was left of her friend. "Thank you, Thistle. I sometimes forget that she is with me as long as I remember her."

The female paused and thought a moment, ideas flying through her head. "I don't feel comfortable in my pack since losing my rank of Alpha. And now everything is turning into bullshit. I feel suffocated. I may come back and accept your invitation, but I cannot now." Every bone in Hawkeye's body ached to escape into the pack Thistle and her husband ruled, but part of her couldn't just yet. "How would I follow these... goddesses of yours?" The black beauty's mind flashed to Sos and a flicker of red eyes appeared before her. She was no longer used to the brief "visions" she had, and she nearly let out a noise of surprise.


Hawkeye didn't know how to respond to Thistle. Their relationship seemed confusing to her, although her and Peregrine had "red hot" love at a time. It had disappeared, though. It hadn't held up, for him, at least. The dark she-wolf wondered if Thistle or her husband would lose interest, but her mind leaned toward the male. "Do you and your husband live in a den alone with your three pups?" Hawkeye was slightly curious as to how Thistle handled giving birth, and what she had felt like afterward, but she figured it was too much to ask, too soon.

Thistle chuckled We all feel that way at some point about a lost loved one. she had not lost a loved one exactly but her mother was not here with her and that was a loss within itself.

Thistle was taken back. Why did you lose your rank? Thistle listened and perked her ears forward. You do not have to if you don't want too, and I am fairly new to this myself, my husband knows more of the rites than I do, so you would have to accepted as a viking and make a sacrifice and then you just do what you think would please them or what will get you into valhalla if you are a warrior at heart. Although i am still as I said new to this myself.

Thistle looked down for a moment and a soft whispered no came from her maw, but she lifted her head and looked at the other female, she did not like this situation but she would not have her husband or sister wife spoken ill of either so she spoke My sister wife or my husbands second wife lives there too...it is common practice among the norse....i was not happy with it at first, but I did not like to see her unhappy when she has not had much to be happy about and she is in love with my husband and I think my husband is in love with her too though he says not more than me...it is confusing and hurtful and I am still adapting to it.

Hawkeye made a face (like this: :/ ) and blew out a sigh. "After I had the pups I stepped down until the pups got older. I supposed I was depressed as well. I came to the conclusion recently. Well, anyway, my mate ended up dumping me. He was Alpha, I was not. So, I lost my pack." She took a slow breath in through her nose and let it out. Talking about it made her frustrated and sad.

The female nodded. "I understand completely. I haven't kept up recently, but I worship a bear god." Said out loud, it sounded stupid to Hawkeye. She did wonder, though, why hadn't Sos spoken to her lately? Jinx claimed it was the Loa, but Hawkeye was positive the white wolf was wrong.

Shock could not be hidden from the dark girl's face, although it was simply shown in her eyes widening slightly and her eyebrows being raised. Hawkeye parted her mouth and then shut it. What the Hell am I supposed to say? She asked herself incredulously. "I do not know what to say. I don't want my words to offend you. Though, I will say that I would kill my mate and then leave." The last words she spoke sounded in jest, although there was a serious look in her eyes.

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Thistle Listened to her new friends words and didn’t say anything for a few moments. She then spoke though, I just recently stepped up to be my mates queen. When I had my children he was merely a beta of the pack Horizon Ridge. It wasn’t until our leader Pump died that my husband became Jarl. I too was depressed, until recently..i think it is part of being a new mother. It was rather frightening my mood swings at least. She was unsure how to approach this, she had found someone with whom she could talk about all these things with, where before she had to keep it all under lock and key.

Thistle furrowed her brow Do you mean Atka or Sos? She tilted her head then wondering could she really have met two wolves who worshipped the same gods or deities that her mother had. My mother was in a pack known as Shearwater Bay for a time, and she learned their ways and she would often worship to a white bear named Atka, though she always left offerings for the one named Sos, said it was not good to anger him. She smiled then talking about her mother made her sad, but happy at the same time.

Thistle saw the shock and she looked down not wanting to see the judgement in another’s eyes. She had made her choice, so therefore she had to now stick by it, and though she did not agree with much. She would not have her husband and her sister wife made fun of or treated poorly for their choice. Thistle sighed I thought about it, and he did ask me beforehand, and it seems to me that he loves her more than he will ever love me and I love him so much that I do not wish to keep him from being happy, so I agreed to it and as I said too. I like Nerian for the most part, and she has not had very much happiness in her life, if I can give her a little bit by sharing my husband I’l l do it. She grew quiet then and her thoughts turned inward.

A bit of shock appeared on Hawkeye's face. "Wow, so that's why I haven't heard anything about the Ridge. After my sister and brother-in-law came to the plateau, it was like they didn't exist. I guess that was true after a while." She paused, taking a moment to hear what Thistle had to say about being a new mother. "I was depressed for a long time after I had my litter. They were born and then a few days later my sister died. I think I got stuck in a whirlwind and couldn't get out. I feel better that someone can relate to being sad and moody after giving birth, but I also wish you hadn't gone through that." Hawkeye breathed in and out. "It's not fun," she stated as a fact.

"Wow, yes, the great Sos. So, your family knows Jinx's family? I do not follow Atka, only Sos, though I understand that I should worship both. I have been distracted lately, and that's probably why negative things have been happening in my life. I... I used to hear him talk to me. Jinx called it the Loa, but I know it was Him. I think about Him sometimes, but... I don't know. I am not sure what to do." Hawkeye startled to a stop, realizing she was rambling on and most likely sounded like a lunatic. Who the fuck tells somebody they just met that they hear voices?! She sighed, exasperated.

Her green eyes shifted back and forth over Thistle's face. The dark wolf was confused at what she saw. The sandy wolf was conflicted in feeling hurt and trying to be happy. Hawkeye knew that the she-wolf would have preferred her husband to be solely hers, but she wanted to make two different people happy — even if it meant sacrificing her own happiness. "What about your happiness, Thistle?" If their happiness depletes your own, why are they even happy? she wanted to say. How could a husband hurt his wife in such a way?

Thistle saw the shock and nodded yes first there was a landslide, then a bear killed our next leader, we finally decided it was not safe there. Thistle listened, and was surprisingly and disgustingly pleased that she was not the only one to go through that. She felt wrong, that she was glad the other had gone through it too, thinking it had just been something wrong with her. Thistle shook her head in agreement, yes it was terrible, it still is. I almost ruined my marriage, because I fought with him all the time. Perhaps that is partially why I agreed to the polygamous relationship as well, guilt. I do not know.

Thistle tilted her head I don’t know her family, though I did meet this Jinx, she wasn’t exactly the friendliest. It was my mother that knew them. She was their midwife and healer, once upon a time a long time ago. Thistle listened calmly; she didn’t think much of the other hearing voices. Her husband told her on a regular basis, that the great Odin talked to him, so who was she to judge. My husband hears Odin, as a matter of fact if you ask he will tell you that Odin sent him a raven to bring him here to the bay. She smiled at her then, hoping to ease her discomfort a bit. Let her know that she didn’t mind, it was perfectly okay with her that she heard voices of the Loa. And that she could talk to her about it if she wished.

Thistle looked at Hawkeye and spoke softly what about it? As long as they are happy it is okay, and I have my children to make me happy and more children to come to make me happy and when I have him to myself he makes me happy. And Nerian can make me happy, she and I are still getting to know each other, but we have some fun. I imagine as time moves forward though it still may hurt, it will become something I will be used too. Thistle did not know what else to say, she had wondered often herself how Ragnar could tell her he loved her in a whisper and then hurt her so deeply with another, but he could not answer her, no one could.

whooooooopsss didn't see this! :O

"Wow, that area just sounds like it's back luck. I will steer clear of that location." And Hawkeye was telling the truth. I don't need to lose a limb to go along with my hearing, too. The dark wolf stayed quiet when Thistle spoke of her depression almost ruining her relationship, and that's why she allowed her husband to take another mate. Or, cheat. Briefly, Hawkeye wondered if Peregrine would have stuck around if she allowed him to take another, but she physically flinched at the thought. No fucking way that would have happened, she thought, disgusted at herself for even touching the thought.

After Thistle's words about Jinx and her mother being the midwife and healer of the Kesuks, she mumbled, "I wonder if she was any different when she lived with her family..." Hawkeye pictured the black-footed wolf being young and jovial and then scratched the thought from her mind. Perhaps she was a bit nicer at one point, but the dark she-wolf doubted that she had ever been innocent.

Hawkeye paused, unsure if she should reply to Thistle's words. "I do not judge you, even though I would only ever have one mate. But, I think you should think about your own happiness. You can't be happy just because you make others happy. You hesitate to say these positive things, and you only do so for your mate. You love him only... whereas, he is not satisfied with just you. He is not satisfied having pups with only you. What if he takes another? And another? Your happiness will drain, and then..." she paused, trying to fight back the tears that were beginning to fill her eyes and swallow her sight. "My mate left me because I was unhappy — not with him, but with what surrounded me. He left me, because I was depressed. What if you become depressed, and he leaves you for another mate? I don't want that happening to you. You took in my daughter. You have a large heart. You deserve better." Hawkeye said these things gently and passionately, letting her emotions, and even her tears, spill down her face while she became more and more choked up. She found that the world was infinitely unfair to those who had the biggest of hearts.

Thistle chuckled good plan Hawkeye. Thistle grew quiet in thought, she didn't know if he really had taken another because of her mood swings. She figured that was just her minds way of making it okay. She knew exactly why her husband took another, even if she didn't admit it, because no matter what he said it came down to she wasn't enough, because he always wanted more. He could say it until his dying day, but it would always be the case of wanting more and frankly it ticked her off, but she would deal with it for now, but one was her number come hell or high water if there was more she'd just go.

Thistle smiled sadly and softly, If that is the case then I will go Hawkeye. I don't know where I will go, but I will go. Nerian is the only one i'm willing to accept and deal with. As for everything else I can only hope that she and I are enough. Thistle saw her new friends tears and leaned forward to give her a soft nudge near her throat and shoulder if she would allow her, seeking to give comfort where comfort was due.

Pulling her head away slightly, and then bumping Thistle's gently, Hawkeye backed up a few feet. "Well, expressing my emotions have left me thoroughly exhausted." She winked at the sandy female before her.

Feeling both saddened and bold, the dark girl spoke out. "Well, if you decide you need to leave, come find me." A smile crossed her face. "I hope you do find happiness, though, Thistle. You definitely deserve it." Hawkeye turned to leave, but looked back. "Thank you, again." Hawkeye figured that the light-colored female would know what she was talking about.

Thistle tilted her head and nodded with everything the other female said. She chuckled You are welcome. Then she stood still and watched as the other female left. Was anyone she called a friend going to stay? Surra was gone, Aine was gone again. Julooke was too busy at the moment. She had Nerian, but Nerian was always busy too. She sighed well it was the way of things she supposed, maybe she should be more busy. She didn't like to stray far though so she couldn't often go looking for plants like she used too. Her children were still young, old enough to stray out on their own, buts till young enough that she liked to be close, she would soon have to remedy that though. After all, they were nearing 3 1/2 months of age, almost halfway to halfway grown.