Lion Head Mesa deathless death

@Zaahira

 

having been alerted by the Fellahin when the newest Mazoi had awoken, Toula, having already completed her morning prayers and greeted Ra, made her way to her. 
there was a place that Toula would like to bring her, now that she was rested. escorted by another Mazoi and a few Fellahin, the Queen approached. her own sleep had been restless—she could only think of the sounds Zaahira had made as the pieces of her had come apart. they had pierced the very heart of her! and now, Toula wanted the woman to know comfort. 
the Mazoi would receive it in blood, eventually—but first, she might find it elsewhere. Toula knew Osiris must have guided Zaahira here—knew, too, with this that her Raven had been found by Him. 
perhaps it was time Zaahira spoke with her Raven again.

The dawn of her first day as a woman of Akashingo. As a Mazoi. Much was to be learned for the warrior woman; how to be godly, how to speak and read and worship, how to fight. What the heavens true intended purpose for her was in these great red sands. But for now, she is well-rested with a full belly, tended to by fellahins, and, before she knew it, called forth by the Queen.
She is quick to rouse at her arrival, spindly legs stretched outward and a sleepy coo of welcome is emitted before her head drops into a bow. There are plans, many plans, and Zaahira herself eagerly awaited them. 

Toula smiles upon the seeing of her, quietly bidding that she rise. the Mazoi looked well rested, still touched  by Tutu—Who ensured no bad dreams would come! 
as for she herself, she had rested—but Zaahira had occupied her mind. Toula had been touched by the woman’s hurts, and wished to heal them. differently, perhaps, than the way Zaahira might long for—but that too might come. 
I had hoped to show you the place of Osiris this day, Toula is quick to reveal in her soft voice, it is where I go to speak with my Father the most. Osiris looks after A’aru—the Land of Reeds—where the dead first might go, once their hearts are weighed on the Scales of Justice. I am sure your Raven is there with Him, her tail swayed behind her at this thought. Toula revealed her own loss to the Mazoi; she had both seen and heard how death had touched Zaahira. and though initially, it had shattered Toula similarly to no longer see the face of the late Pharaoh, she was again at peace. death was not the end after all—but still, one must properly mourn! 
would you tell me about her? she asked, voice gentle.

At first, Zaahira only listens, blinking the remnants of sleep from her eyes. The names of these Gods are unfamiliar to her, but she is intrigued, eager to learn of them. She hears of the Pharaoh, of his passing; the glaze of the Queen's eyes when she speaks of him. Though she is a Queen, and he a Pharaoh, she is but her father's daughter. A child left behind too soon. 
They understand each other. The Queen's calm words and soothing touch are warm; wise, and not at all unkind. It is in this moment that Zaahira realizes this is what leadership is meant to look like. 
Rising to a stand, she is eager to follow, slinking beside her with slender limbs and a smile of warmth, tail falling into a sway. Zaahira sorry for your loss, too, she comments, a soft quality to the husk of her voice. She liked the thought of Selena and the Pharaoh being together in the golden glow of the afterlife, perhaps conversing and sharing wine. It brings a softness to her gaze, the hooding of eyelids. 
When she is asked of Selena, she thinks about it for a moment, face scrunching as the words in her mind are prepared for being spoken. She longed to be as eloquent as the Queen, honey-smooth and sweet; her own words are rough, thick, jagged, ugly. But she tries anyway.
Kind. Shy, quiet. Had pretty smile. Smell good. Kiss gentle. Innocent, her lower lip visibly trembles at the last part. She was so scared. Khaba order little woman to kill. Punish for stupid thing! Bastard. Want her back, She meets the Queen's eyes with her own. Not enough time. 

a grateful look to the woman for these words. our love endures through our grief, and it’s persistence was only an authenticator to the Queen, now. true she was at peace, but that did not mean her heart did not ache to no longer see him upon this plane!
but yes, she found herself thinking again, there was peace in knowing she would see him again—someday. 
Toula listened to Zaahira’s descriptors of the one she knew as Raven. still in the throes of her own youth, there was no blush at the mention of kisses. her heart sank to here of their final moments—how awful they sounded! she gasped at the mention of it, her brows furrowed in righteous anger toward Khaba. she was quiet for a long moment, and found herself envying the way of Zaahira. she was so perfectly, wildly, beautifully savage, and free to express herself as such! Zaahira, her spirit… somehow, to Toula, it was this indomitable, untamable thing. she admired it greatly. 
more than that was that Zaahira was capable of doing what must be done, to see the end that she desired. there was power in that, power that Toula, for the first time, longing for. how she wished to make this man pay, with the warrior alongside her…! 
but Toula recognized the power she herself wielded, even without tooth and claw. the respect she received in spite of not utilizing it herself. Zaahira… she sensed she had this from the woman. Toula wanted, now more than ever, to be worthy of it! 
I know what you mean, she breathed. Zaahira had not asked for her empathy, but she had it nonetheless. but when it came to love, would any earthly time ever feel like enough? it is strange, to look forward to death rather than to fear it. I do not rush toward it, but I know that once it comes for me, I will see the faces that I long to see again. they wait for us, in A’aru, her face was serene with the thought of it, though turned cool as she said, with the knowing and conviction that only the divine could speak with, Khaba will not be welcome there. his heart will be weighed, and devoured by Ammit. he shall be condemned to oblivion. 
but if that alone were not enough for Zaahira to feel contented, she said, you may be called to arms sooner rather than later. while my priority is the children under his watch—reuniting them with their mother—once that is done, …your satisfaction is also important to me, and if this means blood, I understand it. the Gods, too, sometimes require it, this was said quietly—for the ears of Zaahira alone. 
she had prayed to Horus. she had prayed to Tawaret. she had prayed to Iset. They Each had heard her; They had delivered her Zaahira. she could not question Their existence. and perhaps They had saved Raven, from a life of further injustice. now she was in paradise. 
I bring you to speak with Osiris, if you would like. He is the God of the deceased, ruler of that underworld; He would have been among the first series of faces she would have seen. He guided her to paradise, Toula informed, I find that speaking with Him connects me to my father, still—and sometimes I feel as though He has brought my father along, perhaps silly to some, but not untrue for her as she felt him! 
and sometimes, I have no words at all, and feel peace just sitting with Him. but always, I bring him gifts, the fellahin among them brought plenty for them both to leave for Him.

A'aru. 
It sounds pleasant, from what the Queen describes. If that is where Selena is, she hopes it is peaceful. She can picture what it must look like; a golden-crested utopia that mortal minds cannot comprehend, cannot handle. She wonders who would be waiting for her there, with the many she knows not of the status of. 
With the Queen's damnation of Khaba, it causes a quirk to Zaahira's brow, a lift of her upper lip in passing. He pay. In truth, she knew not what he did for the tension between the sandwolves and the lakewolves to be so palpable in the first place. All she knew was what he had done to her, and for that he must pay. But that could not be all there was to it, right? 
So gently, her lips part in speech again. But, her head tilts. Was Khaba always bad? 

And as their walk to the place of Osiris was underway, Zaahira is overwhelmed with a feeling of wonder and curiosity. All of Akashingo felt golden-plated, so neat and pristine and intricate, everything with so much detail and love. Thank you, she murmurs, a vague expression that did not truly summarize all that she felt for Toula's compassion toward her. A true display of tenderness and understanding, of a desire to connect with one who serves her — and in truth, it felt not that Zaahira served her. She was beside her, now, as a friend and confidant; two women who knew grief, and who were on journeys to peace, who longed to hold God's hand. The Queen saw Zaahira's pain, her rage, her strength, and guided it in the right direction. And in turn, as Zaahira looks into rounded azure, she vows to repay her however possible. 
The fellahin hold gifts clutched between jaws, and sweat clams her paws. What do I say to Osiris? She asks, hushed and dutiful. He talk to Selena? 

Toula imagined the Gods would speak to Zaahira, too—to strike when was right, and not before then. the question was one that caused Toula to sigh and say, he was not bad to me. he protected me, and my family for a time—but he betrayed my sister, the Pharaoh now. I leave that story for her to tell, when she returns from her learning, again that sense of cold, oppressive and foreboding! but Toula was not yet ready to believe she might have lost another loved one within this world. 
but Toula pondered if Makono, wise woman that she was, had seen long before anyone else the truth of this man’s heart. Toula would no longer let her own kindness blind her to the truth of things. 
they drew ever nearer to His altar. the next question caused Toula to smile again, and to say with warmth, there is no right or wrong thing. follow what your heart is telling you. once, as I have mentioned, I had no words at all—and another, only tears! He will know what to share with the ones that you love, and keep the things you are not yet ready for them to hear, grief could be an ugly thing, too, sometimes. 
Selena—was this Raven? the word was spoken with that same fondness. He can—and you can, too, her eyes were bright as she spoke the words. it all was a form of worship, Toula felt, to Him. she asked, would you like to? for Toula did not wish to force this upon Zaahira, either! only to let her know such a thing was possible, should she wish to.

Hickory-dipped ears are swiveled forward, intent on every word that comes from the Queen's mouth. He was good to her. He was kind, once. 
It's not that Zaahira doubted her word, but she cannot help but wonder what changed. 
I loved him, I think, crestfallen, she flattens as she speaks. Maybe that was lie, too. 

And as the fellahin gather among the place of Osiris, as they reach the altar, Zaahira drops into a seated position, head lowly pressed close to her chest. She had nodded when asked if she would like to speak to Him; she had so much to say, so much for Him to deliver to her maiden, words she had not said to her still frame. Calmly, she greets Him, praises Him; and asks of Him to deliver her a message.
Wahashteeni, Raven. Justice, I give to you. I safe with A-ka-shin-go, they avenge, She struggles, stammers, and nevertheless; Not enough time with you. In another life, we know each other better, we are love. she is still, statuesque, and the rest of the world feels as if it fades from her peripheral; Aliki will pay. Khaba will pay. You will be free, in sha'Allah. 

And for a while, a long while, she sits in silence, and her paw reaches for the Queen's to hold when the silence is no longer and the tears do not stop.