Wapun Meadow I won't turn back anymore

She had fantasized this moment countless times in her head. It was how she kept her focus, and it was what assured her that her present isolation would pay off in the end. The end where they were together again, all of them, as it should have always been, where she would fix the sadness she was certain she'd caused them all.

But she hadn't imagined it like this. His frigidity she could take, the strange look in his eyes. That was when he was supposed to close the distance and embrace her in the way wolves could, and she would embrace him back, even though she knew he hadn't been one for touch. But Xan only pulled away and met her with words that fell on ringing ears. She heard the anger in his voice, but it was the hurt in his face that pushed her to edge.

"No!" Her fur bristled again as panic twisted in her chest, and her voice pierced a frequency she hadn't mustered since her days in the whelping den. "I'm not lying! I was looking for you, and papa, too! I didn't want to leave you, but I - I thought I could get mama to change her mind." Her lip quivered and she bit back the sob that burned in her throat. None of her cries had done anything to help. Mama hadn't turned around, and Nanook's plan sounded so stupid now. "I never wanted to leave you." She just wanted to fix the mess she'd thrown them all into, and Xan's hurt reminded her too much of Desna and the seam she'd torn between them. A rage of guilt seared her ears, and she shifted her eyes away from Xan, but even that could not hide the distress that etched across her face.