Whitefish River It's hard to believe

46FC°, currently it is mostly cloudy and set during the early afternoon. Located in Whitefish River, center of pack | tagging: @Ira

He couldn't avoid the center of the pack forever. Eventually, Hiero knew he had to eat something more than just the scraps he found along the borders of the pack and even try to keep face among his packmates to ensure they didn't think something was wrong. Disguising his lack of interest in participating in much pack activities as necessary duties at the borders, not having a family or any true relations brewing, it only seemed like the most believable excuse while everyone else seemed to prepare for the first puppies to be brought in.

As he wandered in, Hiero put on his usual show. A tail high and swaying, shoulders square, a gentle smile and even a humming tune caught in his throat as he sauntered in. His banner and the outer display were naturally not challenging, just prideful and something natural to him. More like a happy man keeping his head up than a dominant display of any type of leader. He was cautious not to let the sight of Ira or any other families break his defenses, feeling quite alone in his bachelor endeavors with him aging and still with no lover or family of his own, it was perhaps starting to weigh on him more than he would like to admit.

As much as the roan woman's back hurt and how difficult it had become to move, Ira couldn't help but find herself restless. Perhaps it meant she was nearing her due date, if she counted correctly it was about time for her to give birth according to Speedy. With the recent trespassings the constable stuck to the center of the territory as promised despite her wishes to stroll the borders. She wondered how long it would be until she could return to her duties. It felt like she had just gained her freedom again only to lose it over the span of weeks...not that she could complain, this was much better than a broken leg. Ira wandered aimlessly, unsure where exactly to go in the territory without access to the borders. Perhaps she hadn't explored as much as she should have and she couldn't help but wish she now did. Ira longed for someone to fill the silence, weird for her, but perhaps it was just another side effect of the pregnancy.

Scrounging around to try and find an easy meal, it seemed the caches were raided as everyone had the same idea. leaving behind only one that seemed really old, even he could tell from the looks of it that it would make him sick to eat it - a reminder to get rid of it later before someone else ingested it - and another which seemed to be the only one left good to eat. Score!

Happily he lifted the prize from the dirt, ready to dig in and prepare himself to fish for the rest of the day and re-fill all the caches since clearly people were hungry... for good reason. But his celebration didn't last very long, swinging around in a graceful pirouette, he spotted Ira walking in and felt, well, that maybe someone else should eat this fish other than him. He could wait after all. 

After a brief moment of debate to approach the roan woman, still hesitant due to their last little chat - he approached and dropped the meal down to nudge it her way. It's the last one in the cache. You can have it, I can go fetch more.

It seemed as if her subconscious desires had been answered since Hieronymous seemed to spawn nearby...or well, probably walked over but she had been a bit distracted. It wasn't until she turned around that she found herself almost face to face with the painted main and quickly stepped back Hieronymous— I apologize, you surprised me. Her attention turned to the fish that he offered. She hadn't even realized the caches were running so low... but she supposed it made sense. There were several pregnant women now and she knew that her stomach protested what seemed like hourly. Ah...thank you. I haven't seen you around, have things been busy? She assumed so, she certainly would have been had she not been pregnant.

Even now he surprised her, despite his attempts to come as less invasive or in her face, to think she was still shocked when he just walked by as well, it didn't sit quite well. Honestly, it made him feel as if no matter what he did, nothing would change. Perhaps he should just accept it as such. I'm sorry.

Yes, well, with everyone getting ready for puppies I've occupied myself with the borders. Even checking in on our neighbors. Familiarizing himself with the path to them was key, honestly, he had to find an easier path for him and others to take someday. A pass between the mountains maybe?

Speaking of puppies. His eyes wandered to Ira's bloated sides, she was growing almost every day. You're just about due, aren't you? Excited? Her growing belly brought him both joy and woe, frankly, he was having a had time choosing what to feel about it than just happy for her.

The Constable hummed shaking her head, Don't be, I've just been a bit distracted. I should be paying more attention to my surroundings even if we are in the heart of Kaistleoki. She sighed taking the chance to sit. Ira was still restless, but quick to tire. That's good, I hope they are well. I wish I could travel more right now. It was then that he changed the topic to her bloated sides. She wasn't quite sure what to say, recently she had grown more and more worried about her soon to be kids. She was excited to have her own litter, but there was a lot of uncertainty and new that she would have to adjust to. Excited is...one word for it. Would it be bad for her to say she felt a little anxious? She should be excited, what mother wouldn't be?

You shouldn't have to, that's what knights are for - so you can relax and focus on other things. He offered a smile, hopeful he was reassuring enough and that his current actions were enough to prove that he was more than capable to keep them safe. So Ira and the others can focus on rearing the young that were soon to come.

They are, from what I could tell. Hieronymous wasn't aware of the internal turmoil they were having, instead, it seemed they were safe from any outside forces and couldn't imagine anything being wrong internally.

That sounds normal, it's your first litter isn't it? Excited and anxious isn't abnormal. He picked up the later from the tone of her voice and uncertainty of her words - honestly, it wasn't anything abnormal. Shit, if I was a woman I'd be terrified. Throwing his shoulders up in an exaggerated shrug he mocked his own ability to give birth. A terrifying thought really for one incapable of pain like him... would they just drop out of him? Ouf, what a thought.

Hieronymous assured her that there was no need, and he was right that was what the knights were for, but it was a habit she just couldn't shake. You aren't wrong, I just enjoy it, but I appreciate the words. I'm sure everything is fine with you and the rest of the pack on watch. Ira was happy to hear the Empire was well, she wondered how Reiko was doing, and if her suspicions over her pregnancy were confirmed. An ear twitched as the male continued, I'm not anxious— Her gaze locked onto the knight, but she seemed to relax seeing his expression and with a sigh would look away again. Is it that obvious? Evergreen and Winterbourne have been overly concerned from the start...perhaps it's finally getting to me too. It was nice to hear that it was normal, honestly, she didn't think she could handle another abnormal situation right now. Would you really be terrified or are you just saying that to make me feel better?

At least he seemed to have eased her eagerness to return to the patrols - for a little while at least. So long as he kept it up, she should feel comfortable enough to focus on the puppies than worry about the borders. All Hiero had to do was double the patrols and let the expecting parents do their thing.

Perhaps - keeping a level head is key to enjoying this moment. Panicking will only do harm. If the men of the daily were anxious, he supposed it was up to him to keep Ira calm and level headed rather than feeding on their anxieties over the soon-to-be puppies. Even if it was natural, it didn't help to exaggerate it.

A light chuckle at her accusation, well, he couldn't admit he was only trying to make her feel better so he played along. Of course I would. Would you imagine not feeling it? Someone would have to follow me until they all just fell out. In my case, being a man is probably for the best.

Ah no pain, that would make pregnancy difficult. What if complications arose, how would you even handle it if you couldn't feel it? Can you not feel anything? Aside from pain of course— Could he even feel the ground under his feet or was life just something he floated by in? The concept was confusing, Ira couldn't imagine living with such a disability. Was it even worth it at that point? It must be somehow since the man always seemed cheery.

Of course, she had questions. It was normal really, he was the abnormal one and he was never shy enough to keep it a hidden secret - at least not to his packmates. It would only be dangerous for him should they remain in the dark about it all. Mmmm. Pursing his lips in thought, I always have a hard time explaining this part. How does one explain something neither of them experienced? How could a pain-free life explain to someone, by someone, who never felt pain?

I feel pressure, like the ground pushing against my paws or someone leaning against me - but if I'm standing on a thorn, or their teeth are in my skin, it doesn't feel like anything I need to pull away from. I can't feel pleasure either, so it's quite boring actually. I'd trade almost anything to feel something. Here he ended it as his voice sort of trailed on with the final thought, catching himself rambling.

The Constable fell silent, unsure of what to really say. What could she say? It's not like she'd ever truly understand or maybe she just didn't want to, the life he described sounded horrible. A frown tugged at her lips as her gaze bore into the earth, perhaps that was why the male had been so touchy. If pressure is the only sensation that he could feel well...there was no way for her to tell if she might be the same should the roles be switched. Finally Ira mustered the strength to give at least some kind of acknowledgment that she had been listening, That sounds rather unfortunate...does it bother you? The question felt stupid, of course it would bother him, but maybe you can't miss something you never experienced.

At this moment, he realized one thing. She was talking to him. They were getting to know one another - even if right now it was more one sided, but it was more than what he had gotten in months. Fluttering behind him in a moment of glee, his tail thumped a couple times before pondering her next question... or more so, what to share. 

I- I uh... I use to be very upset. Shifting his weight as he continued to think through what he would say. It’s upsetting for a child to be treated differently, I wasn’t allowed to play was one of the things; and imagine my frustrations when my first breeding season came around and i was left well... uuuh, disappointed. Perhaps a little too much to share really, but this is where he stopped on the subject of his youth, even if he was the one who brought it up.

Does it bother me now? Not at all. I eventually learned that I had no one to be mad at so I grew to accept it, enjoy the thing I can. With that, he smiled, that classic wide grin, care-free in the moment.

A small victory to the painted man that went unnoticed by Ira. She had always been hard to open up, but once she was it came much easier to converse with her. She could relate to being treated differently as a kid...her mind wandered to her own upbringing, an anomaly amongst the pure. It had never been easy, even after she proved her worth. Soon enough Hiero's smile returned as if the hardships never occurred. He certainly was different, but it worked for the painted male. You had a lover? The realization struck her hard despite how natural it was. Based on his reaction to her she pretty much assumed that he had never been with anyone. I suppose we have one thing in common then. I was also treated differently as a child, both my sister and I, we didn't fit in with our pack.

Once upon a time, for a very short time. Is it that shocking? He let a nervous chuckle fly through. Did she really think he was not capable of such things? To maybe find someone willing or something? He was making assumptions of course. Immediately thinking the worst. 

Oh? Is it too intrusive to ask how? He couldn't assume his way through this one, his mind was absolutely drawing a blank as to why someone like her would ever have a hard time fitting in. He hoped she would take her turn to talk, so he could learn a couple of new things about her in this rare moment of sharing - something that might never happen again. It was like seeing a comet fly by, all he could do was try to watch it as long as possible before it faded away.

I suppose not, it just seemed as if I might have been your first love. Had the tone of their conversation not turned so mellow there might have been more of a joking humor to her comment despite her words reflecting her honest thoughts. The man had been overly clingy and sing-songy as if she had been a childhood crush, but it appeared she would not be the first to catch his eye. Part of her wished to ask what happened, but it was none of her business.

Likewise, the painted man asked to hear more of her past. It was something she rarely spoke of, but not from discomfort. Ira had left that life behind, there was no point reflecting on it aside from acknowledging those days made her the woman she is today. I don't mind, only few know. She doubted he would understand as their last conversation seemed to conflict with his ideas of the world, but if he wanted to know she would not hide anything. My birth pack valued those of purity. My mother broke the cycle of clean blood with my father, an outsider. After my sister and I were born my Mother fell sick and passed away. I hear my Father pleaded for the alphas to take me in...and given my Mother's standing with the pack they agreed. We were raised as if we were their own, but there was no hiding what we were. Most did not hide their feelings towards us and those who did were not always good at keeping their true feelings a secret. There was much more to her story of course, but her explanation was enough for Hiero's question.

Well, I wouldn't say I loved her. Lover in a sense of... uhh He shrugged shyly, knowing very well how it all sounded. Young passion, I suppose. Not to mention not feeling anything would make any kind of passion die off pretty quickly, especially if it had barely any foundation to it to begin with. I had three years before I met you. His tone was more obviously joking, jovial, light, not wanting to sound accusatory as if she might think it was always only about her.

As she started sharing her own little story, he remained quiet. Studying Ira as she spoke to try and read her features, expressions- and as usual, she was tough to read even for the most skilled individuals in body linguistics. All of it made sense, it explained her demeanor too he supposed, in a way. I see. That's very tough for a child. I wish I could do more than say I'm sorry for how they treated you and your sibling. He really didn't have much else to add on the topic, especially since like she - the past was the past, a lesson and nothing more.

The painted male need not explain further, Ira had picked up on his hints. It was a growing realization as of late that people in these lands seemed to not care as much for courting before breeding or at least were not as strict as her pack had been. And no other has caught your eye since? It still seemed unlikely, although Ira was one to speak. It was rare for her to catch feelings, perhaps it was the relation beforehand that opened her possibilities.

Unfortunately, she was quick to closer herself off as well, but the Constable was working on it. No worries, I proved myself in due time, but I would have never fit in...so I left. She was completely honest when she spoke, the past no longer bothered her nor her status. Here it did not matter and there was nothing left to prove. Things were better this way.

Well recently someone has. If that wasn't obvious enough already. But no, romance lost its charm for a while. Like a roaming individual looking to find "themselves" in the world. To focus on who they are rather than trying to find their second half - Hiero was just not out there seeking such things, but Ira, well, she had become the exception. It didn't quite work out, but, he couldn't deny it. 

Nodding along to her, he had to agree. If you never think you could fit in somewhere, it might be time to find somewhere new. I think you fit in quite well here, might have worked out in the end from the looks of it. Not only did she fit in, but others looked up to her as one of their leaders. It was a big step for someone who was seen as an outcast for a while, at least, in his mind it was.

Ira rolled her eyes at the male's response, she knew Hieronymous was aware of what she meant, so she wouldn't hide the half-smirk. She couldn't disagree, any form of romance had lost its appeal recently, but at least the painted man was no longer so pushy. Honestly, this wasn't bad...his presence was no longer an annoyance and their conversation hadn't been just filler like some of her discussions with other pack mates. She was glad to hear that he thought she belonged, not because she sought the Knight's approval but because it resolidified her own beliefs. Life was certainly happier here...the Constable even had some friends. I think so too. She'd give him an actual smile for that before pushing herself to her paws Well I won't hold you any longer, I'm sure there's more important things to do and I can't exactly help.

It was good that she thought so too, that Kaistleoki was more of a home than the one she was born in. Most missed their birth packs, but for some, it was better to leave that in the past and grow from the experience. Good. He confirmed with a chipper tone. Getting to know my leaders is important to me. Leaders, not just Ira. Though he did try to show her over and over that he was interested, he did take a heavy step back recently and treated her more so as just any other in the pack.

I'll see you around. But he took the signal to part, to go back and patrol once again. At least this time their conversation was pleasant and less one sided. Even if his chances of getting the girl were dashed - the idea of them being friends was not impossible now.

- Exit!

The painted knight seemed to understand as he gave his farewells. She really shouldn't be wandering around now anyways, Speedy had made her preference that she rests very clear and as she got closer to birth there was no use even fighting it. It took little to tire her, so once Hieronymous had made off she would retreat to her den for a nap.