indra, upon catching sight of the pale monolith, had had so many things arranged in her mind to say to him. she had constructed carefully her position, had made herself overwrought revising each of the things she would say to him, how he would respond, what she would say in rejoinder.. and all of that flew out the window when she saw the placid plains of his face, uninterrupted by the hurt and bewilderment that hunted her and laurel down: his expression one of innocence, smooth as the uninterrupted surface of a glassy pool.
it was then that she felt a new feeling sear her: of injustice, fury, a sad and bitter helplessness. he was oblivious to what he had done, and she knew it.
"why?" she blurted, both ears flat to her skull. she hadn't wanted to accost him, to toss an unstemmed tirade his way -- but he had drawn it from her by his actions and she knew it. "don't you care about us? you'd -- you'd make that thing your mate? you would put someone above both of us, who challenged us, threatened us, who physically hurt laurel, who cant even talk? and we are supposed to be okay with it?"
she paused for a moment, her gaze flinty with hurt. "laurel deserved it more. she's been here longer. i'd say she deserved to be your mate too, but you don't deserve her." it didn't make sense to indra -- he clearly had not been thinking with his head.. at least, not the appropriate one. the more indra thought about it, the more it riled her up -- if anything, if laurel hadn't been next in line for succession, indra should have been -- she had been in bearclaw since its' inception, and had done nothing but defend her sister against the unstable female xan now called his mate. no matter which way the redleaf girl flipped and examined the situation, she could not garner logic from it: the wolf couldn't talk, was veritably stupid, had threatened and fought laurel, and on more than one occasion had refused to submit. that was leadership material? that was mate material? just thinking about it made her sick to her stomach.
the inescapable sadness that had haunted laurel, it impacted indra too -- and nothing in the world was worse than feeling like you were not good enough for someone else. nothing except perhaps watching her sister wrestle with this cruel revelation and being powerless to help her. "i won't obey it."
it was then that she felt a new feeling sear her: of injustice, fury, a sad and bitter helplessness. he was oblivious to what he had done, and she knew it.
"why?" she blurted, both ears flat to her skull. she hadn't wanted to accost him, to toss an unstemmed tirade his way -- but he had drawn it from her by his actions and she knew it. "don't you care about us? you'd -- you'd make that thing your mate? you would put someone above both of us, who challenged us, threatened us, who physically hurt laurel, who cant even talk? and we are supposed to be okay with it?"
she paused for a moment, her gaze flinty with hurt. "laurel deserved it more. she's been here longer. i'd say she deserved to be your mate too, but you don't deserve her." it didn't make sense to indra -- he clearly had not been thinking with his head.. at least, not the appropriate one. the more indra thought about it, the more it riled her up -- if anything, if laurel hadn't been next in line for succession, indra should have been -- she had been in bearclaw since its' inception, and had done nothing but defend her sister against the unstable female xan now called his mate. no matter which way the redleaf girl flipped and examined the situation, she could not garner logic from it: the wolf couldn't talk, was veritably stupid, had threatened and fought laurel, and on more than one occasion had refused to submit. that was leadership material? that was mate material? just thinking about it made her sick to her stomach.
the inescapable sadness that had haunted laurel, it impacted indra too -- and nothing in the world was worse than feeling like you were not good enough for someone else. nothing except perhaps watching her sister wrestle with this cruel revelation and being powerless to help her. "i won't obey it."
now the wren has gone to roost and the sky is turning gold,
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
and like the sky, my soul is also turning.
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Messages In This Thread
who hears you crying? - by Indra - March 23, 2018, 07:28 PM
RE: who hears you crying? - by Xan - April 04, 2018, 04:12 AM
RE: who hears you crying? - by Indra - April 04, 2018, 06:36 PM
RE: who hears you crying? - by Xan - April 10, 2018, 05:10 AM
RE: who hears you crying? - by Indra - April 10, 2018, 07:14 PM