Heron Lake Plateau All I'm tryna say is get back, click clack, BLAOW!

Was there a nice way to put this?  She danced uncomfortably for a second, shifting her weight around before she metered a breath out from between her lips.  It's about Niamh, and I don't.. know what I did wrong.

She took a deep breath and gathered herself.  How far back did this go?  Should she start at the first time she met the butterscotch girl, or was that irrelevant? So, I guess it started back when Screech woke up.  I came and I dropped off some food for them.  I noticed Screech was awake and I asked her if I needed to come get you, and then out of nowhere she's lunging at me, snapping at me with her teeth, and she spits at me to go get you.  She averted her gaze to the ground and her lips thinned as she took a moment to reflect on that night.  I'm sorry that I kind of threw that at you.  I just.. I didn't want to bother you with the drama, and it seemed better to me at the time to look insubordinate than it was to break down and distract you becuase Screech is more important than my stupid feelings.

She took a beat to allow Raven to respond before she continued rambling and would continue to do this at appropriate avenues, but this post is already going to be a monster and Stray doesn't feel the need to mention it every time.  So, you know, for the most part I stayed a respectful distance from her.. their.. whatever.. den.  Sometimes I'd drop off food when she wasn't there, so she could come talk when she was ready.  Today I had decided to.. um...... well, I started digging a garden for you, she admitted sheepishly, her ears slicked back, because I thought that maybe if I found where these plats would grow, they'd do it more efficiently and they'd be convenient to locate too.  And Niamh comes to me.  And she asked me what I was doing.

She cleared her throat, embarrassed.  And I didn't want to let what happened just sit between us, so I asked her if we were going to pretend like nothing happened?  She responded to me by growling at me and telling me to stand down, showed me her teeth again.  

If she was going to be blamed for something, it would be this — she hadn't stood down when she maybe should have.  Carefully, she prepared her words.  She wasn't angry anymore, she was just upset and it was written all over her face, in the wavering of her voice.  I told her she doesn't get to use my kindness and throw it in my face.  I told her she's not the only one who cares about Screech, who at this point was so irrelevant to the conversation and what had transpired between the two girls it was unimagineable.  

She raised her lip at me and had the nerve to ask me what I'd done here.  Of all of the things this had perhaps offended Ceara the most.  She could dish and take name-calling and curses all day, but to imply that Ceara hadn't pulled her weight?  And then she told me to remember my rank, like I'm.. I don't know, useless.  Unimportant.  The wildfire girl started to blubber, and she knew that soon the floodgates would burst and she could only hope that no passerby would find her in this sorry state.  I told her everything I've done since I came here was so she could take care of Screech and that it hurt me that she didn't recognize that.  I said that I hadn't done anything to her, I was standing like this, she demonstrated, position neutrally firm, and that her duty as Gamma wasn't to shut down everyone who disagrees with her.  I hadn't felt like I had overstepped.  That's where she took to cursing at me and insulting me, she told me to pull my head out of my ass and acted like she had to protect Screech from me.  And then she took everything I said and twisted it around, like I had accused her of being usless when I had just said that I was doing my job around here so she could take care of him as best as she could.

I told her that she was the one who approached me, and that if you and Quixote didn't think I could be trusted I would've been gone by now.. that she should trust your judgment.  I told her I didn't want to fight, but if she wanted one.. well... heh.  But otherwise, I had things to do.  I was busy.

She took in one last, long breath, embarrassed because she had been prattling on for actual ages now.  And then she called me a quote-unquote 'batshit crazy unpredictable bitch,' and told me that she was right to protect Screech from.. people like me. 

She sighed and dipped her head low, one paw swiping across the ground.  I don't want you to, you know, fix this or worry about it too much.  I don't want you to get inbetween anything.  I can handle myself.  I just want you to know, because if my suspicions are right she's off telling whoever that I deserve to be gone.  And if it's up to me, I'd really like to stay?  Her last words had the upwards inflection of a question.  By now she was full-on sobbing, because what if this really did ruin it for her?  She wasn't sure she could forgive Niamh as it was, but if she got separated from Tuathal again after all of this?  She'd never live it down.