Hushed Willows [m] Dance, this is the way they'd love

Staying kinda vague about the bear attack but this is set after! For @Reina

Mature Content Warning

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The participants have indicated the following reason(s) for this warning: Honestly nothing yet, this is a pre-emptive warning LOL

She had not calmed since the bear had appeared in their home, not truly. Eventually the bristling of her hackles had settled. Eventually the stain of blood had washed out of her gilded fur. Yet the panic remained; Reverie had spent more time at the borders in the days that followed, scarcely speaking to anyone and often leaving her children with Everett.

They weren't safe here. Her children weren't safe. Her husband hadn't been safe.

They needed to leave.

Reverie stood at the outskirts of the swamp, contemplating this as she stared into the distance. She wasn't sure she wanted to return to the willows at the end of their journey. But where else could they go?

Reina had busied herself in caring for Carnelian in the days that followed the bear’s intrusive attack surrounding Reverie’s den. Her waking moments were spent tending to her ward’s injuries, while her nights were filled with soothing night terrors and, in the moments of quiet sleep, slipping out of her den to check on Reverie and the babies. Reina knew that they were in good hands, that Everett more likely have kept watchful eyes on them, but she needed to see for herself.

Eventually, Carnelian had mostly healed and did not require her care as much, so she finally had moments to leave her den and do her part in scouting the area, marking their borders, and scenting for anything amiss. It was during one of these jaunts that she stumbled upon Reverie, the golden beauty entranced by something…or nothing…in the distance; Reina was not sure. Both had been distant, for some reason or another, for the past few days and Reina was glad to have found the woman alone.

She needed some time with her Angel, to right the world—if only the one that lived inside her mind.

Softly, she greeted Reverie as she came up beside her. “Hey, a pebble for your thoughts?”

She bristled faintly before she realized that it was only Reina. By the time she relaxed, her thoughts had faded like morning dew; Reverie was already distracted when the Singer's question fell into the air between them. Hm? Oh, just - She took in a breath. It's nothing.

Do you ever think... Reverie trailed off, turning to meet Reina's eyes. For a moment she only studied her. Then, abruptly caught in a lightning-bolt impulse, she reached out to kiss her. It was thoughtless and ill-advised, desperate for all the wrong reasons, and why — why, for the love of all that is holy, was she thinking about Akavir?

The sudden kiss opened a flood-gate in her heart, feelings of love and devotion poured from her in earth-shattering waves, drowning Reina, yet also filling her mind, body, and soul of only the gilded female that occupied her every thought, her every breath. She returned the kiss, deepening it as she melted, totally unaware of the impulsive and devastating truth behind it. 

Reina pulled back, breathless as she ended the kiss, despite wanting nothing more than for this moment to be forever frozen in time. Azure eyes searched the sun-lit orbs for clarity, for reasons, answers, any insight as to why now? Why the sudden show of affection that was reserved for lovers? They did not have that relationship; though Reina had tried, but resigned herself to the fact that it may never be more than just a deep-rooted friendship.

Is this where things change?

“Reverie…I—wha—I mean, I’m not at all upset at what just happened. I don’t think I’ve been quite subtle with my feelings for you, but never did I want to push it because I respect you—I didn’t think it was reciprocated. Why now?” 

Did it actually mean anything at all?

Big oof Reverie felt the fire in Reina's embrace, the liquid gold burn of real, true desire, felt it sizzle against the fragile synthetic veneer of her own misplaced want. Part of her had held out hope that she could find that fire somewhere in herself, too — that she could match Reina's devotion and finally know real peace. It would have been so easy. It could have been so perfect.

But she felt nothing. No — worse, she felt suddenly, violently ill.

She would never truly change, would she? She would always use those around her for her own selfish wants.

Reverie blinked, lips parted slightly as she stared at Reina with eyes gone wide and glittering with tears. What could she say? I - I'm sorry, She choked out after a moment, backing away. Then she turned and fled, never once looking back.

Watching me is like watching a fire take your eyes from you

As soon as the questions left her lips, she knew that the moment she had sought for so long had shattered, reality heavy handed in its impact. Her world exploded, taking with it the gilded female as she ran, leaving Reina behind to stagger with the weight of absolute devastation. 

Alone. Always and forever alone. 

Unwanted.

She knew her own wants had been a delusion of her own making, built on a foundation of desperation. 

What had started had never begun, and she knew. 

She knew.

Tears fell, a soul crushing, soul-shattering keening sound burst forth from her lips as she herself imploded, no longer feeling, no longer herself. She became a shell, not empty, but refilled with bitter anguish and burning self-loathing.

She returned to her den an hour or so later, quietly settling onto her pelts to avoid disturbing the children as they slept, her brokenness flowing silently down her cheeks as she bit back sobs before sleep finally claimed her.