He didn't know where to go or what to do anymore. All he knew was that he wanted to keep to himself as the day passed. Each step felt heavy with guilt. There was no undoing what he had just done. He didn't want to do it. It just... happened. Instinct took control at that moment. It had tricked him into doing the "right thing". Now he just felt gross and disgusted in himself.
Issun couldn't walk any longer. He stopped and gave way to his legs, closing his eyes and clenching his teeth.
Sage had been wandering Moonlit, without much purpose. She's hope to have caught some food, but none had come her way. Luckily–at least she thought it was, a smell reached her nose. It wasn't long for her to realize it was Issun's and quickly make her way in his direction, but the closer she got, the more the scent seemed...tainted.
When spotting Issun she slowed her pace, a smile presented agaisnt her maw. Too happy to see him to truly depict why his smell was strange. "Issun!
The sound of his lovers voice bought fear, guilt, and relief for some reason. He lifted up, turning to face her. Guilt and sadness was clear in his expression. His stomach felt strange and a hot wash of shame came over him. The yearling didn't want her here, yet yearned her presence.
He wanted to get close to her and feel her familiar warmth, but he just couldn't do it. Not right now at least.
She could see his glum expression from a mile away and lowered her ears. "Issun what's–" Sage paused, recognizing the difference in his smell, it had Malice all over it. Her stomach sank, he wouldn't...would he?" "Why are you tainted with Malice's smell?" Her once caring voice dipped into a serious tone.
A cold stare was now on him, and she stepped back a bit.
She could smell her. Smell Malice's scent on his coat. He didn't want to lie around this, he couldn't do that. Issun knew the truth may hurt her, but it was better to tell her now than have her find out later. Then things would be ten times worse.
"I'm so sorry," he started, not wanting to make eye contact. "I don't know what came over me. Her smell was different and it made me crazy. I-Icouldn't think straight. I didn't want to. I... I..." He took a shaken breath, realizing how fast he was speaking. "I'm sorry Sage."
She lowered her head, fear crept up on her. "What did you do?", it had been clear, Issun had sex with Malice. But he hadn't stated it, and a part of her hoped–begged that it wasn't true.
Sage almost began to shake herself, but held her composure. She had always had control over herself and appearance, she wouldn't lose it now.
He couldn't look at her at all. He felt great guilt and her question made that worse. "We did... that," he answered, not able to be blunt about it. "I'm sorry..." he mumbled, his words barely audible.
All the male could do now was brace himself for anger and disappointment. That's all he had expected now.
A wave of emotion crashed down on her, almost knocking her to her knees. She couldn't look vulnerable, so she stuck to anger. "You fucked her? Right when she thought her life was put together, when she couldn't believe she found someone who cared for her so much, and she was then betrayed.
"I'm not sure if I can forgive you for this. Not unless you try really damn hard to convince me."
He winced sadly at her sharp tone. It was something that he hadn't expected from her. Her anger sounded so new and he didn't like it at all.
How could he explain what he had felt at the time? He barely even knew what drove him to do it. "I didn't want to do it Sage,", he started, "Her smell was different. I don't know why, but it made my senses blind. I didn't have control over myself and she didn't either. It was against our will." Yes, instinct could do wild things and this was one. "I would never want to break your heart on purpose Sage," he said in a soft tone, "I'm sorry, I really am. I did something really stupid."
A sting in her throat arose,
no, she wouldn't–
couldn't cry. Instincts or not, she was hurt and couldn't control that.
"Goodbye, Issun." She didn't want to look at him, knowing the chances of her crying would only grow the longer they were around each other.
"We can speak later." Her voice remained serious, and with that she turned and left, keeping her composure. Trying not to cry.
We can archive this and start a new thread where Issun maybe finds her? And tries to fix it?