The offer of being sent to Moonglow to learn under the tutelage of Kukutux played in the bloodwoman's mind on a wheel. After she returned from the
circle held by the Moonwoman, an excitement burned in her heart; her future didn't seem so desolate. She had taken the
herbs offered to her by Reverie, one for sleep and the other to prevent pregnancies.
After hearing the words of the females that had gathered together, she had felt a kernel of control return to her, and she decided that her life mattered; a villainous male would not ruin her. Some day, in the years to come, the female of fire will have her own family, one of her choosing.
To heal and push through, she decided it was time to mingle among her pack. Unknown scents floated in the area, on the Coach, and they had peaked her interest. Her den was closest to waters called Fisherman's Keep, and it was there she sent a howl, a wish for a joining of members who were near. She didn’t venture far from her den if she didn’t need to, a tether of depression kept her close; but she frequented the waters and felt calmest there.
It was important to her to develop the bonds within her pack; her family was, and will always be, everything.
@Reina I thought it would be interesting if Tuft could have a crush on Reina. Let me know if that is not okay. Obviously she would probably be a little skeptical after her most recent event, but Tuft doesn't exactly know what happened.
Still wanting to meet the rest of the pack, Tuft was slowly heading towards one of the stronger scent trails. It was presumably Reina’s scent, but he hadn’t gotten to know everyone’s scent so he could only guess. To prove that his guess was right, he heard a wolf call from the Fisherman’s Keep, where the scent was coming from. He only caught a glimpse of her before she was rushed off from the kill of the wolf, from what he did see she was immensely beautiful!
As he neared Reina’s den, he saw Reina and was able to take a longer look this time. He couldn’t help but gawk at her stunning and shimmering red coat. Her creamy colored fur on her muzzle and undercoat shifted in the wind in a mesmerizing display.
“I think I’m in love!” Tuft thought to himself.
When he walked up to her near the shore, he looked over and noticed that she was carrying with her some herbs.
“Hello, my name’s Tuft. I heard your call. Is everything alright?” Tuft said. His ears were perked, searching for any sign of trouble, ready to pounce at a moments notice.
It wasn’t long until one of the new males heeded her call. Blue eyes observed the newcomer with heightened vigilance. He was of her build, not so threatening as he didn’t tower over her; if need be, she could protect herself. Males that were as large as the boulders that fell from the Sunspire Mountains were her worry. And yet, she couldn’t help the trepidation that caused her to shiver.
She took a breath before plastering a bright smile—even though it didn’t quite meet her eyes. “Hello, Tuft, it’s nice to meet you. Oh, everything is alright; I just wanted to meet others. I guess I have a little bit of den fever and wanted to stretch my legs a little while I’m at it.” His glance at the herbs at her feet hadn’t gone unnoticed, and they were slowly pushed out of sight while she greeted him.
“How are you getting along here in Hearthwood?”
Tuft relaxed his shoulders a little when Reina told him that she was okay. Although obviously fake, her smile warmed his heart like butter.
"Thank goodness! It seems that anything bad that can happen has happened this past couple of weeks." Tuft said.
"I'm getting along great here! Hearthwood has been such a blessing to me. I've got a new home, new friends and plenty of food so I can't complain." Having only been here for just a couple of weeks, outsiders could see the dramatic difference in having a pack has had on him. He went from almost dying of starvation to hardly seeing his ribs anymore. Instead a look of complete exhaustion, he has a look of new fervor and a new found purpose glistening in his eyes.
Looking across the grand pristine lake shimmering with golden light Tuft asked
"How are you doing? I saw that you killed another wolf. I'm sorry that you had to do that. No one should ever have to take another life of another wolf." He could sense the tension that had risen after the attack, but still didn't know exactly what happened.
Reina listened to Tuft as he spoke of his time here in the Willows, and the smile she wore slowly rose to actually meet her eyes this time. She felt them brighten in happiness knowing that someone else besides her felt that entering this pack was a blessing.
“Boone and Reverie are truly the heroes of our stories. Without them, we probably wouldn’t be here to live them long enough to make any mark on this world.” She stared off in the direction of the setting sun, the burning sphere kissing the lake as it laid down to sleep. “I’ll always be grateful to our Harbinger and Coach.”
Her gaze returned to her companion at his question, an unshed tear threatening to cascade down her cheek. She had hoped he wouldn’t ask, but, in hindsight, she should never have asked how he was in the first place. Surely it would have prevented him from asking after her person. “I am…managing. These herbs,” she paused to bring the herbs back into view,”were from Reverie. One is for sleep—the nightmares have been less than pleasant—and the other is to prevent…pregnancy.”
Her chest felt constricted, thoughts of the latter created a grief so deep that it felt like she may drown in it. She had made her decision before she came here to the Keep—there would be nothing that tied her to that villain, that evil that threatened her future. But, her heart was heavy with the decision, for there was a possibility that lives had already attached themselves to her, yet her decision would never let them come to fruition.
But she chose herself, chose a life for her—she deserved to choose.
She had realized that Tuft may not know the extent of the attack, so she continued, a sadness to her tone. “The male I killed had overpowered me before the others arrived and forced me to give him what I had always been told to give to someone I loved. I—I let it happen. He was too strong, too heavy. He took what he wanted. Thankfully, the others dispatched him enough to where I was able to regain my bearings and take his life.” Her body shivered, not from cold, but from the memory of blood spraying down like rain around them. The sight was gruesome and she shook her head, eyes closed, to banish the memory.
Tuft felt so embarrassed that he brought up that question. "I...I am so sorry." Tuft said, ears swiveling down revealing his sheepishness. "I'm sorry, I didn't know that's what happened. If you don't want to talk about it anymore I completely understand. Just let me know what I can do to help when you are ready." Looking at Reina now knowing about the situation, Tuft realized that Reina had so much grit.
Trying to think of something to do, Tuft thought maybe he could help by distracting her. Spinning around in a playful circle, kicking sand and dirt in the air,Tuft said “Hey, you wanna just run around the lake for a bit?”
“It’s alright, I think it’s probably best that I do talk about it. I shouldn’t shy away from what happened…I’m afraid to be alone with my thoughts sometimes; they’re not—good thoughts.” Citrine eyes found golden amber orbs looking at her and the wolf of fire suddenly felt…shy? Was it the male’s non-threatening presence, or the fact that he showed her kindness and respect that made her feel so at ease? Nerves set off alarm bells in her head.
You’re going to get burned if you get too close, Reina. Her mother’s disembodied voice reverberated in and around her, echoing and bouncing in her skull. But, it is nice to have another around for distraction. Maybe she could keep her distance, enjoy herself and others without getting too attached? It was not easy. Reina was like a spark to dry grass, a lick of flame to spread like wildfire. She wanted friends, family—love. But, the latter, which was most sought of all, seemed to not want her.
The sudden gloom she felt was stifling, even out in the open as they were. Tuft had offered a jaunt around the lake, his own energy as he circled in invitation was almost a shield, knocking the gloom ever so slightly off her shoulders. A giggle escaped her cream lips, eyes brightening ever so softly as she nodded. “I think that’s a great idea…thank you, Tuft.”
New excitement rushed in as Reina agreed to the run. Running was a skill that wolves were particularly skilled at. It took little to no thought to engage, but it was freeing and enjoyable to do. Tuft himself would often jog for as long and as hard as he could whenever he felt alone during his travels, and that always made his at least feel a little better.
The laughter and smile of the wolf in front of Tuft confirmed his suspicions. "I knew that there was a calm river in the midst of that typhoon." Tuft thought. Ever since they first met, Tuft thought Reina's heart was like her eyes: ice cold. But now that he knew that her heart could melt, he was even more stricken with her. Tuft knew that falling in love with someone he barely just met, as well as someone who just had a dramatic and dangerous experience, was not the smartest nor the easiest move to make, but deep down he knew what his heart wanted.
Now ready to run, Tuft did a quick play bow and then quickly jumped up, and ran. "Great!" Tuft said, "I bet you my next meal that I can beat you around the lake!" Tongue flapping against the salty lake wind.
A race!
Oh, it brought back so many happy memories of when Reina and her family would venture to a lake on their southern border. They would frequent the area during the warm season—otherwise is was a frozen disc, too slippery to be safe! She was the oldest of her siblings, the others always waddling after her around the lake, hopping and screaming about who is going to beat the others back to Mother and Father. Reina won many, but here and there she would “stumble” and feign injury to let one of the littles get their victory.
Her whole body pulsed as she took off after Tuft, ears tucked, tail streaming behind her like a rudder. This was a different race, nothing like what she used to do with her siblings. No, this was something else, something more. It was a metaphorical way of running to her future, whatever that may be, and leaving behind the pain, hurt, loss, and damage she’s endured. She felt freed, the bindings of her assailant broken and trailing behind her in tattered shreds.
She whooped as she reached his side and bounded into him, never losing pace. “I’ll do you one better,” she yelled. “Whoever makes it first, the loser hunts for the winner a full week!” Then she dug in her heels and sped off, her tail making an attempt to tickle his nose as she passed him.
"Deal!" Tuft said. As Reina dashed off, she tickled Tufts nose, making him sneeze. "Hey! No cheating!" Tuft yelled, grinning ear to furry ear. This was a classic game for him when he was just a pup. It felt so good to have genuine fun with someone else for once, and not have to worry about who or what was going to kill him.
Since this wasn't Tuft's first rodeo, he felt confident that he would win. In his time in solitude, Tuft practiced running for long periods of time almost everyday. This resulted in him having very lean but very strong leg and thigh muscles built for speed. As both Reina and Tuft drifting the first corner of the lake, Tuft was thoroughly impressed with Reina's speed and agility. "How is she able to keep up with me?" Tuft questioned himself. A piece of driftwood was coming up and Tuft watched with amazement as Reina effortlessly jumped straight over as elegantly as a jackrabbit, and landed without a hitch.
Tuft and Reina were neck and neck. "Ok, here's my chance." Tuna thought suddenly concerned. He looked at Reina and saw that she hadn't slowed down even a little bit. "I gotta push myself now, or I won't be able to win!" With a last bit of energy left in him, he gave it his all and was starting to even pull ahead of her.
Nearing the last stretch in the race, Tuft was starting to tire out. "Go! Go! Go!" Tuft yelled at himself. Reina just inched by Tuft when he felt his foot snag on a twig and went flying right into Reina. In a tumble of fur and sand, both Reina and Tuft skidded to a stop, with Reina a couple inches ahead of Tuft, making her the winner.
Laughing like a crazed hyena, Tuft, in an exasperated breath said "Dang it! I was just a whisker away from beating you! Where did you learn how to run that fast?" Tuft was honestly surprised that he was laughing this hard. He hadn't had a good laugh like this in years!
This was the first moment that Reina has truly enjoyed herself since leaving her home above the Wilds. There was a freedom in her laughter, her lungs filling with the crisp air, and it settled into her bones. She felt connected to her home, to Tuft, to the others. It finally dawned on the female of fire that she had found what she had been searching for: home.
Reina had felt that she had died the day she returned home to find it desolated by heavy snow, her family and her pack crushed as they slept. But, here at the lake, with Tuft, she felt reborn again. From the ashes she rose again.
This was the life she chose.
She sat on her haunches to catch her breath and took a moment to answer the male’s question. “Growing up I used to race my younger siblings around a lake similar to this. My father also saw to my training for—reasons.” Suddenly, and with tail wagging, she stood and padded next to Tuft, leaning under his chin in an embrace of thanks.
And then she froze there. The moment was intimate for just meeting Tuft, but it felt right, it felt…comforting. But, her nerves shot through her again, and she heard her father this time. Reina, my girl, you’re testing waters too rough for you. But she ignored the voice and closed her eyes, sitting in the comfort, but also allowing Tuft to make his own decision: to pull away or to stay. She wouldn’t mind either choice he made, he had given her a sense of contentment that she was grateful to have experienced after what she had endured in her short life.
Taken aback by the sudden show of affection, Tuft relished the opportunity and snuggled right up to Reina. He could see her breath puff out like smoke in the cold temperature.
Unbeknownst to Reina, Tuft had his own thoughts of self-doubt and apprehension. "This can't be happening. Does she actually like me? She must be doing this cause I was nice to her or something, right? Could I honestly protect her when I can't even protect myself?" Tuft worriedly thought.
Tuft tried to push those thoughts away. Instead, a sly grin spread on his face as he told Reina "I guess I got my hunting work cut out for me! I haven't hunted for someone else in quite a while. I hope you don't mind eating a couple of mangy squirrels!". Tuft chortled as he booped Reina's nose playfully.
Enjoying the warmth of her fur Tuft asked "I didn't knew you had siblings! What are there names?"
A hearty chuckled bubbled in her throat. “Squirrels are fine! Although I wouldn’t mind coming with you on hunts. I’m sure you could find other ways to make it up to me. You know… since I won and all.” He had snuggled in closer, he got her playfully on the nose. The fiery woman teased him back, then pulling out of the embrace to get a better look at him.
He was handsome, boyish, not like the males she knew, and unlike Boone, too. Beautiful gold and amber hues danced in his eyes, his smile just as bright. That smile was the best part of him, she decided as she blushed with her thoughts. Feeling that she may have been staring a little too long, she blinked rabidly, his words floating to her.
He had asked of her family…
Her throat bobbed with emotion as she thought of her family, her pack. “I had four: Darkwind, Minnow, Magnus, and little Hammy. They, along with my pack, perished. Over a year ago…a rival pack saw to their end. I was…gone for a while and when I returned, I found them buried under many feet of snow. Having nothing left meant no ties and, well, here I am.” As she spoke the woman had created distance between them, symbolizing subconsciously that she felt alone in this world, nothing to tie her to Earth.
Tuft could feel the chilled air separate them as Reina stepped away. "Well now I've done it. Why don't you bring up all the other uncomfortable subjects while you're at it Tuft. What is wrong with you!" He argued with himself. Tuft took a couple of deep breathes to calm himself down. "Its okay. You're okay."
At the mention of the death of her family, Tuft put on his serious face. "I...I'm so sorry." Tuft said. "I know this might not help much, but I understand what you're feeling right now." Tuft stepped closer to Reina. "I'm the last surviving member of my pack too. They were killed by a bear named Noctus. If you've felt anything like I do now, you must be filled with such sadness and anger. But what I can also tell you is that those feelings will pass away with time and patience."
"When I first met the Hearthwood pack, I was about to die." Tuft said sitting down on his haunches, looking disgusted at himself. "Boone came up to me at my weakest, and even then, I was deathly scared and ready to attack him at a moments notice. He showed nothing but kindness, and I was ready to kill him." He looked over to Reina, staring deeply into those perfect crystalline blue pearly eyes. "I'm so glad that I did trust him...because that meant I could meet you." He went over to Reina and nuzzled up to her muzzle.
The mood had turned sour and the red she-wolf wanted nothing more than to turn back time. She decided then that her favorite version of Tuft was the happy, vivacious male that he was moments before. It saddened her immensely to know that Tuft also experienced family loss and the pain that followed.
“That is absolutely awful…both the way you’ve lost your family and the way you came upon us. Boone is a good man, I’m glad you trusted him. We owe a lot to him—and Reverie, as well.” She returned the nuzzle, taking a deep breath and sank into his fur as she let it go. Her mind was a cacophony of thoughts, none of them good. This would end, this moment with Tuft; men just seek her for their own pleasure, never hers. It truly wasn’t even about pleasures of the body, it was about the pleasure of the mind, the heart…the soul.
Could he give her that? Would she even allow that after all that she has been through? Her heart felt boggy, solid enough to know that she still has one, but too soft and unsteady to support another’s. She wanted to, a small part of her begged mind and body to comply, just one more time. Her mind and her body respond with more time, please, just more time…alone.
And she hated herself for what she was about to do.
She pulled away once more, an apologetic shadow darkening her eyes as she spoke, searching his amber eyes for understanding. “Tuft, I…I have to be honest with myself and you. Today was really fun, and I enjoyed myself for the first time in—well, I don’t even know how long—but, I don’t know if I’m…ready…to…” Do what? What were they even doing that was so nerve wracking to her?
Comforting each other as two lost souls should, right?
He did it. He managed to make the most beautiful and intelligent wolf that he had ever met lose interest in him. A surge of anger and resentment towards himself bubbled up inside of him as Reina left him. "This. This is what you deserve. Not some magical fairytale that has a happy ending, but actual reality." Thinking to himself.
"You don't have to say anything else. I get it." Tuft said interrupting Reina. His eyes turned from sweet and almost childlike, to the chilled and stone-cold rocks that were looking at her now. "I have to go back to Boone and Reverie. Tomorrow I will drop off your first meal."
And with that, Tuft had walked away, without even saying goodbye.
“Tuft, no, I—“
She watched him leave her. Just like that. It seemed so easy, almost too easy, for him to just dismiss her. Did he not remember what she had just been through? That this had nothing to do with him, but everything to do with her own trauma?
He had given her a sense of what it felt like to be in the presence of someone who only wanted to make her smile, yet, he couldn’t—or maybe he didn’t, or rather refused to—understand why she couldn’t throw herself at another male right now.
The thought of it made her crumble.
The fiery wolf was doused in tears, silent sobs as she watched him walk out of sight. This is what she was cursed with: pain and loneliness as company. She didn’t even bother to wipe the wetness from her eyes, or the drippings from her nose, before making her way back to the comfort of her den.
There she would spend her night openly crying from the broken heart she left behind.
OOF. Haha! Poor kids!