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+--- Thread: Arrow Lake and over seas to look upon her face (/showthread.php?tid=34535)
and over seas to look upon her face - RIP Blodreina - May 18, 2019
praimfaya had opened her eyes and it felt like one of the most magical moments blodreina'd ever experienced in her life. bright baby blue's had stared up at the ( equally as ) awestruck mother, so very much like her komfoni's that it was easy to see how praimfaya resembled gyda and by extension, ragnar ...and blodreina — as she watches her daughter nap, tuckered out, presumably, from the excitement — is filled with a warmth she can only describe as love and beyond that fierce pride. blodreina doesn't know exactly how well praimfaya's eyesight is but she assumes from what little time she spent around goufas previously that it was and would be for a while yet, poor.
still, it is proof that she is growing as she is supposed to; but of course she is, the wanlida chastises herself. why shouldn't she? she is fos goufa and does not lack for anything she needs by competition with siblings. she is not small as blodreina herself had been ( as the runt of her litter ).
blodreina stretches, mindful of praimfaya and inclines her muzzle towards the small stream of sunlight that peeks into the den, unable to help but want praimfaya to be able to go out and explore — which was a double-edged sword because it was also a selfish want. blodreina still hated dens despite the necessity of it. for now, she implores a hard earned patience towards being cooped up — though ingram trades off with her so she is not cooped up all the time, bless him — tempering her fear for the sake of the fact that the walls and ceiling are what is currently keeping her daughter alive.
still, she longs for the open skyline and is content, for the moment, to settle for the small stream of sunlight.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - Andraste - May 18, 2019
will set this earlier in the day of this for aure
Between scarred lips fluttered a velvety bit of fawn’s tail — the only gnawable thing Aurëwen’d been able to retrieve from the poor thing with her needlsome fangs. It was a paltry gift in comparison to the abundance which Cortez and Olive had brought weeks past, but she liked to think it would be enough for Reina’s baby to gum on.
A smidgen of guilt moseyed in her dainty pawfalls, as she’d been so late in congratulations and too reclusive to surround herself with company. Better late than never, right? She’d known the first precious weeks with her own children had been meant for privacy, yet Aure lilted a chirrup for entry — at the very least, a hello, if turned away.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - RIP Blodreina - May 18, 2019
a chirrup interrupts blodreina's daydreaming of open sky and the mental image of praimfaya romping around the outside of the den, whilst ignoring the anxiety the thought also gave her alongside the yearning — blodreina understands now why fos goufa's are given up. the attachment between child and parents are dangerous for both parties. still, she knows if not for everything that led her here: heda's death, the storm and consequently ingram's arms ( as to which she is happy to be in, mind you ), her decision to leave drageda when she saw the legacy tearing apart at the seams and sinking into the icy water, the near-death state verx had returned to them in: she'd have been able to do it.
but the woman, despite seeing family as weakness as she once had believed — for shortsighted as it was, she believed it was the reason for heda's suicide ...has found a happiness with her own little family that she'd been searching for her whole life. acceptance; and a chance to discover who reina was beneath the blod. it was frightening, exploring deeper than she'd ever dared to explore, to want things beyond being the best warrior, but she braved the path because she wanted to and not because anyone expected it of her.
blodreina recognizes the sound as aure.
come in,she invites the pale slyph in, tempering the soft swell of guilt she feels beneath her breast. it's been some time since the last time they'd conversed and the wanlida does not mean to be so negligent to her friend, but she doesn't dare leave praimfaya for longer than half an hour at length ...and even with ingram curled around their daughter, a stalwart sentry, blodreina never trails far ( because babies are hungry and demanding, she's learned quickly ).
how've you been?blodreina asks aure, wondering if verx has yet returned. last she knew, his scent had begun to wane from diaspora's borders.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - Andraste - May 18, 2019
Admittance given, the silver began to burrow her way into the earthly den with no trouble at all; being quite small truly did have its perks, and it seemed those she would only ever tower over would be coywolves and their formers. She kept the little gift tucked close to her breast, until she arrived at Reina’s resting place and saw at once the downy babe of silver in the crook of her fierce womb.
Eyes open already, it seems, and Aurëwen could only croon, ”Ce fetiță prețioasă ai,” argent gaze gentling as she looked to the shield-mother, ”She is as lovely as her mamă. Congratulations, Reina.” Then, she proffered the fawn’s tail, tentatively setting it closer to the gona before making a humble retreat.
And then that inquiry came about, and an ivory shadow flickered in her eyes — she didn’t wish to bring her personal matters to an event where only her friend and her new daughter mattered. But she wouldn’t lie either ( a terrible liar, so what was the use? ) so she simply provided: ”Well.”
It was as much truth as she could give, as much miss-him she would ever touch upon. Aure thought she was doing well despite her beloved’s leave, despite her raising two children on a hip; despite Mahler’s callous verdict; despite her growing restlessness with this place.
An uneasy clearing of her throat, feeling a bit flustered, ridiculous, the optio tried to turn the tide back to Blodreina and her brood: ”Her name? I am sure you picked something fitting for a warrior princess,” grinning toothily. Something ferocious, I bet.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - RIP Blodreina - May 18, 2019
thank you,blodreina replies graciously, both for the gift aure brings — though she would be quick to argue that she doesn't need gifts she understands that they are mostly for praimfaya and allows it only because of that fact — and the compliment ...though if asked ( and apparently even if she isn't ) blodreina is the first to interject that praimfaya looks more like gyda than she does the wanlida. she favors the valkyrja and perhaps that is not a bad thing, blodreina considers.
well. was a lot more simpler than blodreina had hoped for and the wanlida spends a long moment wondering if she's being lied to or not. was aure doing well ...when she was so hopelessly enraptured by verx? irregardless, the pale slyph's curt and vague reply tells blodreina plenty. surely, if verx had returned and the star-crossed pair had resolved their issues aure would've wanted to share the news. or maybe she wouldn't. it wasn't like blodreina had much experience in the whole friend thing.
the conversation drifts back to praimfaya and blodreina lets it, disregarding her curiosity, for the moment. she tells herself it's not really any of her business ...but verx is her uncle and she deserved to know something if on that simple fact alone.
her name is praimfaya.fierce sounding both in trigedasleng and translated to common and,
fitting for the next wanheda.she corrects with a sly grin tugging at the edges of her lips.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - Andraste - May 19, 2019
Praimfaya — ‘first fire’, if her uneasy Trig was correct. “A wanheda I would gladly follow,” she snickered, though there was a bit of truth to her words. She soon quieted, for as much as she would join into another geda, Aurëwen wondered if she would ever create a following of her own, rather than continue all of this joining and departing. Which, speaking of...
“We woke up one morning, and he was gone.” The declaration was sudden, and her eyes were as hard and as bright as quartz. “I don’t know where he went, or is. Or why.” A muscle flickered somewhere in her slim jaw, before she pulled the dark veil of lashes over her eyes to shut them, look away. ”Mahler has seen fit to attack him, should he put even a claw past ze borders. I've no idea as to what ze general and his pionier think, but they might favor that verdict, for all I know.”
Her eyes were hooded when she eventually opened them again, and she bit at scarred lips as she so often did when vexed, troubled. Worried, even though she knew nothing would come of it. However foolish it seemed, the optio was firm on her belief that he would return — someday. When, though, and where was an entirely different matter, if it ever came to it.
Her argent brow knit itself, her chin trembled a bit, but she looked to Blodreina with a helpless, breathy smile. ”Ai jos get in dei de... children give us ze chance to be better than we were before they came to this world. And, maybe...” An even more helpless shrug of shoulders, a shake of her fine head. But no matter who from Diaspora stepped into the role of fathering, there would only be one true one which her children would remember.
She would make sure of it — as sure as she saw him in Isilmë’s smile, in Dragomir’s tranquility. ”But today is for you, and your daughter. Not me.”
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - RIP Blodreina - May 19, 2019
i got distracted halfway through writing this ...so if it stops making sense and turns into nonsensical word vomit, i apologize.
a small smile ghosts across blodreina's lips as aure mentions that praimfaya is a wanheda she would follow — and looking at her daughter, reina feels herself silently agreeing ...all the while knowing that she wasn't ready for praimfaya to grow up yet. it would be a long time until she was ready to lead ...and blodreina would do everything she could to prepare her for it but until then she also deigned to enjoy these moments while she had them.
she looks to aure then as the pale sylph recounts verx's disappearance — which has evidently continued, the news of which instigates a troubled set to the wanlida's brow. admittedly, she couldn't claim to know her uncle all that well but he hadn't seemed the type to run out to her. perhaps, she considers, she'd read him wrong. she hadn't thought wildfire was that type either ... and if she was being entirely honest with herself she hadn't ever thought she'd be the type to turn her back and yet here she was. a natrona all the same. regardless, it seemed unusual for verx to vanish without a word ...if for no one else than his children and there's a part of calculating wanlida that wonders if she's being told the whole truth. maybe she just wanted to believe better of her father's brother.
it's how drageda would've handled it.blodreina responds quietly. regardless, she can't say she disagrees with mahler's verdict. a man that turned his back on his own children, children he claimed to love was no man at all, in her mind. blodreina is quiet while she contemplates aure's words, ears fluttering back to rest at half mast atop her skull.
i'd like to tell you that he'll come back ...but i don't know him well enough to confidently say that he will,and blodreina'd never been the type to offer false hope.
but he has to live with what he's done and what he's missing in his children's lives while he's absent.maybe it'd be enough to haunt verx ...or maybe he'd already moved on.
blodreina sighs apologetically, wishing she had magical words of comfort to offer aure instead of bleak reality.
it sounds like mahler is looking out for you,blodreina suggests with a small smile; but blodreina's no match-maker and does not condone suggesting that aure needed a man ( because she didn't ).
it is a day for the three of us, we're friends aure and i'm here for you.she wanted aure to know that she was a sturdy shoulder to lean on or a listening ear if needed ...in a way that she hadn't been able to get thru to antumbra. heda'd internalized her suffering until it killed her — at least this is blodreina's assumption of that situation — and she didn't want to lose anyone else she considered kru like that.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - Andraste - May 19, 2019
lmao it’s chill ive had so many saved drafts, most of my posts are a mess this week
All of that which Blodreina said, Aurëwen listened to quietly. Just as others assumed that the cheka had departed out of callous disregard for his family, the silver assumed it was something different entirely. But they would never know, whether or not he returned and told them himself.
And, yes — he would miss precious time with their children, that much she knew was true. So Aure did all she could to amend that in her own way: the Trig, any little once-upon-a-time tales her cheka had told her; of how warriorsome he was, and how he’d admitted to her he breathed for it; any silly little exchange between them in their earlier days together. Only several months ago... and so much had changed since then.
”Please know, this... your words, and Mahler’s, it’s— so much consideration, and I am grateful,” were the throaty words, squirming past her heart that hindered her voice. “I mean to say, I am grateful for your honesties. Your companionship.” They’d never mended things, at least somewhat, when... she thought they would. “Each day I spend with our children is an immense balm, truly. And I know that their father, and Diaspora, wouldn’t wish me to... to mope,” a weak laugh at that which she thought to be true.
Aure shook her head, tried to take a steadying breath. A day for the three of us. ”I suspect ze little wanheda wouldn’t like such miserable company, either,” she croaked, voice a little hoarse now, but she still tried to smile for the fierce, fluffy bairn; still speaking to Reina, though. “You told me once that fos goufas are... well, are chosen by ze commanders of ze past? I don’t remember most of it, but, she already seems quite worthy.”
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - RIP Blodreina - May 20, 2019
blodreina's gaze softens as aure speaks, mulling over the pale slyph's words, lingering on the 'not moping' bit of her small monologue. once upon a time, that was exactly how the wanlida would've seen this: as aure moping; due to a distinct lack of the ability to understand and sympathize. her views on family and on love, once so starkly and strictly black and white has changed marginally over the course of both her pregnancy and her blossoming relationship with ingram. both ingram and praimfaya have impacted her life and changed her in ways that she'd never expected. this gives reina the ability to take a moment and try to put herself in aure's place. to be so enraptured and in love ...only to be left. blodreina knew abandonment well enough. first her siblings and then her parents and then, the most painful of all, heda's abandonment.
and to imagine ingram following in the footsteps of those she's loved in the past was more painful than reina'd care to admit. even the thought cut her sharply and she gives herself a brief visceral reaction.
you're allowed to be wounded by vercingetorix's departure,reina assures aure a moment later.
when i am not bound to this den i will hunt him down and demand to know what his problem is myself.and aure could count on it.
their conversation shifts to praimfaya and blodreina listens and formulates her response to aure's question as it is posed.
i'm not real sure how it happens as i was never a fos goufa but i know if heda is dead and if there are more than one fos goufa's that a sadgeda must take place. a fight to the death. the victor is then chosen by the past commanders but ...blodreina was, obviously, out on the loop of who's risen to become heda in antumbra's stead. last she'd known there had been two fos goufa's in line — which would mean that praimfaya was simple another in line. maybe.
if i am seen by my people as natrona then there is a good chance that even if she were chosen by a or the spirits of the commanders that she would not be recognized.
and with ingram and i — everything is ...different. i can not give her up and disregard her as my daughter even if tradition demands it.a sharp contrast to the traditionalist she'd once been.
but antumbra did not follow the tradition of the heda's before her ...and maybe this, all of this, was the spirits of the commanders guiding me to a new path. the rise of wanheda and the new traditions we'll make together as ingram and i teach and raise her.a combination of something old and something new. her admission to aure is not half as blubbering as it'd been to ingram the night of praimfaya's birth but reina's pregnancy hormones have ( thankfully ) begun to regulate back to normal.
only time will tell, i suppose.but for now reina is content to play mother above all else.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - Andraste - May 23, 2019
idk what this post is ffs
It sounded so final, ‘departure,’ and in the moment of pause ( before Blodreina resumed her assurances ) the silver despised that word with every wan, worn-out part of her. But the wanlinda’s words both eased Aurëwen as well as surprised her — she’d have thought another attempt to coax her from her anguish would be cast. However, Reina offered instead to track down her night-of-life once freed from these confines.
A surge of brightness crested in her eyes, and it was all Aure could do to cant her head and stopper the salted wave that threatened to overwhelm her. She’d never truly been left by another, lest in death or travel of her haven, and trying to put her feelings aside in this moment was inconceivable to her; especially when Reina offered so much.
Breath ragged, brow furrowed, ”When you aren’t bound here, I’ll have stopped crying by then,” she swore, smiling with a warble. ”And, if Ingram is absent,” sniffling and pawing all distractedly at her muzzle, ”I mean, if Praimfaya ever needs watching, u-um— I’m mostly here, so— ahm—“ And her teary tirade came to an end with an inscrutable gesture of a pale paw.
After some beats of quiet of merely kneading her claws into the earth, the silver admitted, ”Until then, I am heading out to visit Elysium, but I will be back later in ze day.” Whet her lips, argent eyes flickering from the pewter child to the sea-mother, “I only need a little time away from here, is all,” and wished to add before I am entirely stifled by this place, and do something ridiculous because of it, again. But, no — it was all she made evident for the moment. ( Had made rather evident, seemingly. )
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - RIP Blodreina - May 24, 2019
aure's words make blodreina believe that the pale slyph thinks that the wanlida is the kind of woman to forgive and forget ...but the truth is that she isn't. she never has been; and even if aure's words are true, even if by the time blodreina can afford to leave praimfaya with ingram alone while she tracked down her wayward uncle to demand answers the pale woman's tears have stopped falling from his departure ...blodreina would keep to her promise all the same. the point is verx hurt aure and he left his children.
i'm a notorious grudge holder, aure.blodreina tells her with a mirthless curl of her lips. no one was around anymore that could back that up with proof but reina says it with such weighty resolve that her words shouldn't need validation from anyone else.
thank you.reina accepts aure's stuttering offer of watching praimfaya if her and ingram ever needed anyone to sit her for them ( at least that was how blodreina choose to take 'if ingram's ever absent' ). though reina trusts aure — and both dragomir and isilmë are proof that enough that aure is capable of taking care of cubs — reina doesn't foresee asking anyone to watch praimfaya while her and ingram take a romantic getaway anytime soon. at least, not until praimfaya's older and not confined to the birthing den and so reliant upon reina's milk ...regardless of how nice that romantic getaway sounds. in fact, it sounds very nice; it's no secret that reina's going a bit stir-crazy even with the ventures she takes just outside the mouth of the den often when ingram comes to her rescue temporarily relieve her. she has come to rely on him heavily following the week up to and now in the early stages of post-birth, for food for news as she leans on him to be her eyes and ears while she is den-ridden.
i understand,blodreina assures aure when the woman says she needs a couple hours away.
i'm sure you've already got someone to watch them but isilmë and dragomir are welcome to come over if they want or if you need someone to watch them.praimfaya was still pretty young and delicate, reina feels, and probably not much fun to goufas the age of aure's own but the wanlida wanted to put the offer out there all the same.
RE: and over seas to look upon her face - Andraste - May 28, 2019
A notorious grudge holder. Aure found herself smiling, quick and pale, at the thought; once upon a time, she believed herself to be just that. But with the years that had passed, and with an origin of her physical hurts rarely given tell ( save one; maybe even three, for all she knew) the silver had come to a place that was neither forgiveness or forgetfulness when it came to her haven’s desecrator. The obvious evidence of scarlet-on-ivory would forever stay with her; there was no way for her to avoid those too-familiar, keen-eyed looks of curiosity or, even worse, shock.
How mind-boggling it’d be, should she ever be visited from her past woes again.
In the meantime, though, Aure merely dipped her head and gave a gentle reply of ”Thank you, Reina,” in return. ”Vonn tends to watch them, but I will entrust them to you should they need watching, as well.” Fond eyes settled on the wanheda and wanlinda, and she lingered for a few more heartbeats, before humbly dismissing herself and returning to the world above the earth.
last from me <3