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rise to the rush - Ragnar - July 29, 2014 I promised you a new one once I got settled from moving and all caught up. <3
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RE: rise to the rush - Thistle Cloud - July 29, 2014 YAY! Hi Thistle had noticed the departure of the son of her husband, but had not said anything. She had apologized to him and they had seemed to get along in the end, but he had still left. She did not worry for him as she would most who left, simply because he was his father's son and he would be fine, just as she was fairly certain she wouldn't worry too badly when her own children left if they ever did. And part of her thought it was her fault for fighting with him in the beginning. And truth be told Thistle was tired of being angry and she was tired of fighting, she was just bone deep weary of conflict. It hurt and it made her cry and she hated every single minute of it. Now she was exhausted to in part for the long nights that she lay awake and those few that she cried herself to sleep trying to come up with something to make her feel better and nothing worked. And her mind was so full and deep of thoughts, that she just couldn't get the rest she needed ever anymore. And had Ragnar had told her the truth she just would have looked at him and shrugged she already knew Bragi was his, just as she knew that he was fond of his priestess and just as she knew all her herbs. She just knew. Thistle had realized weeks now, though she was loathe to admit it that, she could never hold fully onto her warrior viking. He was too wild and free and the heart that beat in his chest was far to strong. And that was wherein lied the whole idea of two women being his, she did not want to lose what she did have claim too which was his heart, and she feared greatly that she would. It was the only thing she could claim was fully hers, everything else he gave to everyone else and selfishly she guarded that secret and that secret alone to herself and did not think she could even utter it. For that made her feel so tainted and selfish that she was want to cry all over again. She hated being selfish hated it, made her feel dirty, but well what was she to do when she couldn't help it. As she thought about such terrible thoughts her mind went again to Nerian and a pang shot through her chest. She was afraid of so much where Nerian was concern, because she did fear that if anyone could take what was hers it would be the priestess for she was good and did not fight as Thistle did. She did not yell and scream and rage like she did. and she loved with everything she was not selfish as she was. Thistle's ears perked up as her husbands voice rang out across the lands for her, and it reached in and twisted at her heart a little tighter. Making sure the children were well taken care of she followed the sound as it fell silent. She found him and stood still for a moment unsure what to do, they still had not mended exactly, but she did know one thing she could give that may help a little at least. She walked forward slowly and ghosted on nimble tiny paws to lick the side of his face and pull gently at his ruff, to ghost back and sit to her haunches in front of him. You called me Dearheart? RE: rise to the rush - Ragnar - July 29, 2014 <style type="text/css">table.ragnar {background: #ffffff url("http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/theder/ragnardertable_zpsefab268a.png") no-repeat top center;}</style>
RE: rise to the rush - Thistle Cloud - July 29, 2014 I honestly don't know where her head is lol..personally i think she's just afraid to lose what was hers.. Thistle stared at him a moment and there it was what she had feared all along she was merely second best to his precious priestess and her heart felt sore and bruised, but she didn't flinch and she didn't cry, she just stared at him. He had not asked her how she was he had not checked on her, he had not asked anything,except whether or not she and Nerian were fine and it made her sick. They had not spoken for a week and when they did it was cold and stilted and his first question was whether or not she and nerian were fine. She shook her head to dispel the thoughts that threatened to tear her already bruised self down. She nodded once yes we are fine. She realized then too that her children would also always perhaps be second best because they were not his and the minute Nerian went into heat again he would have what he wanted his many fucking sons. Because what was the point of asking him to wait until she had a litter first, when the answer would be no because he wanted his priestess so damn bad and Nerian wanted him so very badly too, it was futile so she said nothing. She twitched her ear one time and looked to the ground not sure what to say because she knew what was coming and she knew what her answer would be and then she just wanted to leave and hide somewhere. She wanted to stand and run away as fast as she could leave him and all this terrible crushing pain behind, just leave, because she had realized it was futile to resist what he wanted it just irritated and made him angry anyway so what was the point and besides she was selfish Nerian had said so and she hated to be selfish. She shifted and waited for the rest of the question to progress, it was like agony it hurt and it irritated her that she hurt so bad, and that he honestly just didn't understand why it bothered her and maybe he just didn't care, because she already figured he loved his priestess more than her anyway and because she loved him why not let him have what he loved. Suddenly thistle just couldn't take the wait anymore and she looked at him her eyes like crystals of blue steel veiled and hard but soft and full of love and she spoke softly Just ask your question Ragnar ask me for your priestess, just tell me you want to have her and hold her and love her and everything else. Just stop lying to me and stop lying to yourself and just say it, say that you want her to have your sons because my son's aren't yours by blood just say it,so i can tell you yes and just move on, because i'm not good enough or great enough or loved enough whatever the heck it is, but please just stop this constant nagging at the back of my head and just ask. Because i'm tired of fighting and hurting and crying, i'm tired of being selfish and unreasonable since clearly i don't think of you before myself or at least i've been told so just ask, because i love you enough for the both of us i guess and I can do whatever you want just so your happy and i like Nerian. The last part she added as an after thought her voice still soft and a little bit sad, but she had come to her own conclusion she had figured out a solution that was good for everyone but her, and that was the good thing right, and who knew maybe it wouldn't be so bad....just the thought of nerian having RAgnar's son's before her made her sad, and feel unloved but she said nothing. RE: rise to the rush - Ragnar - July 30, 2014 I'm pretty sure it's Ragnar that should be concerned about that not Thistle. xD
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RE: rise to the rush - Thistle Cloud - July 30, 2014 Lol yea i would say lmao Thistle looked at him and listened she had wanted to get her words out quick enough that she didn't have to repeat herself. ANd that he wouldn't interrupt her or worse get angry. She needed to let him know, like he had told her to do. She wasn't sure what to do with how he answered her though and she sat there for a moment thinking. Her pink tongue darted out to black nose and tawny muzzle as she thought about it. I did not think that I you didn't love me Ragnar I thought you loved her more. And how can I not still think those things when you tell me you don't want her in one breath and that you love only me, but it's clear that you do love and want her? I am not a fool a man does not wish to take care of a woman because he just wants to show her to love, that is ridiculous. Do you realize you are defensive about her and things that upset me about her, and then just now you didn't even say hello to me, you just asked if she and I were fine. She shrugged then. At his last words she felt like slumping forward in relieve but didn't, instead she just said softly I don't want that either. Thistle's blue eyes met lighter blue and she spoke again You didn't Nerian did. That is how she and I are fine. I found her the one night crying, and she had moved my garden and her paws were so very sore...and I asked her if i could. Thistle was furrowing her brow as she thought trying hard to remember exactly what happened that night. I asked her if I could help her and I apologized to her and I told her I had been jealous because I thought she deserved to know why I had been rather mean and I offered friendship....but she told me I was selfish adn unhappy and I needed to realize that I had everything anyone else would want and that I needed to stop being selfish and then she all but called me a liar when she told me that I did not want to be her friend, i wanted her gone which wasn't true and she told me I didn't think of you because if I had then I would have let you have her and your sons. Thistle grew quiet again and sighed softlyl ...and of course I lost my temper and told her she had no right to judge me not at all and that I had every right to call her out, but hadn't and that I was trying to apologize and be friendly but she was the one being selfish and closed off and cruel, and I told her i was sorry for everything she was going through adn that i was sorry she had lost her faith...because that is most of her problem and she fainted. The next part was on ragged breath and half a sob as she remembered how scared she had been...and it scared me ragnar I was so afraid and I realized that i was being silly and petty, and I covered her up with myself because it was going to rain and when she woke up she told me she was sorry and we were fine and friends. Thistle looked up at him unsure what he would take from that, but it all ended up well in the end right. Thistle furrowed her brow and looked down and spoke softly I can do this then Ragnar for you. Though I'll need to adjust and you can't be mad at me for my adjustment period. If Thistle had known that yet again he was lying through ommission adn she would have to share his heart she would have told him to just take his precious priestess and leave her alone, but love has blinders and she did not know, so she was content she supposed for the moment. Again giving more of herself to others than she received. RE: rise to the rush - Ragnar - July 31, 2014 <style type="text/css">table.ragnar {background: #ffffff url("http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/theder/ragnardertable_zpsefab268a.png") no-repeat top center;}</style>
RE: rise to the rush - Thistle Cloud - July 31, 2014 Thistle watched as he thought hard and then no answer came and just like that he did not deny it and he didn't tell her she was wrong. And just like that her heart felt shattered and she realized that she had always be meant to have a broken heart, the minute she fell for him. Rather than make her feel better it made her feel worse. Bending her head at his next words, No Ragnar you gave that away long before me you just didn't realize it until you met me that you could. So I am second best always have been second best. You are an unfair man Ragnar and sometimes I really really hate you for making me love you, but I do love you and there's no changing that so i'll settle for second best. She kept her head bowed and though he started kissing and soft touches she wanted to run and scream and claw and bite. Make him bleed just a little bit so he could feel a fraction of the pain he put her through. Because he was either clueless and had no idea half the time he was hurting her or he just didn't care she hadn't decided which one it was so with a soft sigh half sob she leaned into him and took what he was willing to give her right now. Standing swiftly to hide the tear tracks she brushed past him her flank gliding across his chest and she tickled his nose gently with her tail Are you coming? And she strode towards the forest, realizing as she went that she would suffer for this always. It was simple really her husband was a jarl, a father and now had two wives he had been barely able to make time for her before and now with two he wouldn't have time at all and she realized that she refused to let him treat anyone as he treated her, so she would be the one to suffer she would take the silence and the minutes that he had where he had it, but he would spend most of his time with his children and his other wife, because she was fairly certain Nerian needed him more than she and Thistle would not let him hurt her. She would leave this world and go with a broken heart however long it took as long as the broken heart didn't kill her first. But she loved him and she would deal with it, because of that. She froze for a moment and looked back and spoke softly Let me talk to Nerian before you do so I can tell her i am okay with it. I do not want her to spurn your advances in fear for my anger and jealousy. Then she continued on. RE: rise to the rush - Ragnar - August 01, 2014 <style type="text/css">table.ragnar {background: #ffffff url("http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/theder/ragnardertable_zpsefab268a.png") no-repeat top center;}</style>
RE: rise to the rush - Thistle Cloud - August 01, 2014 Thistle heard the exasperation in his voice with her and wanted scream at him "why can't you see my side!" because frankly put if she were to take a lover he'd kill him and possibly tell her to get lost, even if her first lover came back to the borders he'd kill him on site too. It was in a way the same as her, but her jealousy and spite went inward and killed her rather the the other lover. Her stomach did a flip at her name softly accented on his tongue, but she said nothing. As selfish as it was Thistle had not thought about how the children would take this. Mostly simply because they were young and resilient they would be raised this way so it would not be wrong to them. And again his words did not help to soothe, but rather sounded as if she were merely a means to keep him alive. But it was no fault of his an she didn't say anything to that either. Thistle swung around at this point and stared point blank at him thanks ragnar like I didn't rememeber that she sighed then and shifted I am not going to take credit for your damn polygamy Ragnar but she and I are semi friends so now that she knows me she might spurn you or did you ever think that maybe she'll spurn you because you told her no. so at least let me tell her I'm ok with her chasing after you but I need to do this Ragnar if I'm going to share my husband she wouldn't give an inch there and turned back around swishing her tail gently across her legs. RE: rise to the rush - Ragnar - August 03, 2014 <style type="text/css">table.ragnar {background: #ffffff url("http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v190/theder/ragnardertable_zpsefab268a.png") no-repeat top center;}</style>
RE: rise to the rush - Thistle Cloud - August 03, 2014 Thistle turned again and stared at him You really don't get it do you. she shook her head and turned back around continuing her slow amble towards the foliage intent to find a shady spot for privacy. Thistle knew that if it had been Nerian first she would not be here now, yet he continued to tell her he loved her more that she wasn't second best, well she called bull shit on that, but she was tired of fighting she just wanted to move on with her life, she wanted him to finish breaking her heart so she didn't have to deal with this much else, how he could continue the break she didn't know and truth be told she didn't want to think about it, but this position right now she needed ot move on from because it was slowly killing her and he didn't even get it, didn't have a clue and she imagined he didn't care, but why should he he was getting what he wanted in the end the one woman he was in love with and her replacement. And she could be very wrong, but that was how she saw it for now. She'd let him prove her wrong, after all he was a man of action she didn't think he could, but maybe just yet, for now she just wanted to forget everything for a little while, one thing he was very good at. Thistle snorted at that and said softly, No Ragnar you are not when it comes to feelings and emotions and anything else, but that is an argument for another day. Now come here, i'm tired of this fighting, just make me forget for a bit okay. And then she waited patiently the sun slanting across half her face. RE: rise to the rush - Ragnar - August 04, 2014 I'll go ahead and archive this. <3
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