any suspicions he'd had of @Tzila's condition at the recent gathering had been confirmed within the past few days. she was carrying children. his children. the thought was, to put simply, alarming. he wasn't ready to be a father, and as such had actively avoided the truth that was right in front of him. maybe if he didn't look at her then any sign of life inside of her would just disappear?

unfortunately reality didn't quite work that way.

he knew there was no escaping the consequences of his actions. there would be children, whether he was ready for them or not. at the very least he knew he couldn't go on ignoring his friend any longer and so sent up a howl requesting a moment of her time. they should talk. no, they needed to talk.

there came no response, so he waited and waited but she never showed. a salmon pick tongue slipped out to nervously lick at his lips as he moved to go look for her. he called out again, this time more desperate than the first, but continued on his path towards where her scent lay strongest.

it took time but he eventually tracked her down to the mouth of a cave. "tzila?", he called out as he took a few step forward and let the shadows envelop him, voice echoing off the cavern walls. he knew she was here, now he just needed to find her.

the cave led to nothing more than a dead end and jaw-dropping pool of crystal blue. the naturalist in him wanted to stop and stare, to taste and feel if the water here was any different than the ocean that surrounded them. but he knew now was not the time, and so choose to save his admiration for another day.

instead his focus fell to the poorly hidden figure of his friend. "you know, i'm not very good at hide-and-seek, but i think you might be worse", he teased with a quiet laugh as he slid back on inky haunches. he wait a moment to see if she would rise from her position before he lifted a paw to tap at the spot next to him. "please come out. i promise i won't bite."

he'd managed to coax her from her hiding spot and to his side, a small victory in his mind if there ever was one. both knew what this discussion was going to be about, and so he saw no need to beat around the bush.

"i hear you're eating for two now?", he asked despite having seen the obvious signs firsthand. he wanted to hear her say it for himself. wanted to make sure he wasn't imagining it or that his mind was somehow playing tricks on him.

she refused to look at him and it left a sour taste in the back of his mouth. he wasn't angry, he was scared. in all his life he'd never felt pressured to be good enough for anyone other than himself, but his children were different. he wanted to be more than good for them and right now with everything he was going through, he wasn't sure he could be.

"i'm not going to lie, i'm scared of being a father." the last thing he wanted to do was put up false bravery in front of her. he was terrified, but he wasn't afraid to admit that. "i knew i always wanted to be a dad. always wanted to have a family, i just...didn't think it was going to happen so soon."

where his words had comforted her, her words in turn had comforted him. her last fear echoed his own, for he was beyond worried that having children would tie him down and break his freedom. in some ways it would for he was determined to accept responsibility for his actions and face his fears, but it certainly brought him some relief to know he wouldn't have to do this alone.

"i'm scared of all that too, but i think the thing i'm afraid of most is the fact that i'm just not ready to be father. not mentally or emotionally." hell, depending on who you asked, some might say that astaroth was still a kid himself. he hadn't even reached his second year in life yet and was now facing the revelation that he would forever hold some type of responsibility for his future children. that's some hard shit to swallow right there.

whether or not they'd make good parents could only be discovered in time, though given her last choice in words, perhaps they would not even come to hold such a title. he had to admit it was tempting to take her offer and run with it. she didn't seem opposed to the idea, and in truth, neither was he.

"it's your body, so the choice you make on how to deal with the children you're carrying is ultimately up to you." he would not be the one to carry them during pregnancy nor would he be the one to nurse them during their first few weeks in life. tzila was automatically giving up more than he ever would with this pregnancy, so he could not fault her for thinking of possible alternatives, especially not after having admitted their fears so openly to each other.

a part of him should feel some guilt for thinking of the alternative choices, but he didn't. they were young, inexperienced, scared, and had their whole lives ahead of them. as far as he was concerned all options were on the table, and he would support her with whatever decision she'd make. with that being said it sounded as if her mind was made up, so any further ideas he had on ways to avoid the pregnancy were immediately tossed aside and mentally burned.  

the nickname, which thus far had been solely reserved for family, caught him off guard. he supposed in a way it was fitting she'd called him such, especially considering she was now as much apart of his family as any other relative was. "they're not going to be a burden to me, and there's no way in hell i'm going to let you do this alone", he answered back as he stared into glossy eyes threatening to spill over with tears. she'd said it herself - they were as much his kids as they were hers, and he would share in all the challenges and responsibilities that came with them.

she wanted him to be happy. he wanted himself to be happy too, but he knew adjusting back to his fun-loving cheerful self would take time and healing. "i love ying, and i love traveling...," he began, not bothering to hide his emotions or feelings. his affection for ying had never been a secret on his end of things, and wouldn't start trying to hide it now just to avoid awkward conversations or hurt feelings.  

"...but that doesn't mean i'd rather trade that life for this life." parenthood was going to be a challenge, but it was a challenge he had no intention of running from and leaving tzila behind to face on her own.

he wasn't sure what reaction he was expecting, but a stoic one was not on the list. it was not his intention to make things more difficult, if anything, telling the truth was supposed to make things easier. but that brick wall she put up was starting to crack, and emotions were beginning to leak out like water in a broken dam.

"it meant something to me." tzila was a cherished friend before their coupling, which meant in one way or another, it meant more to him than any other fling with a random stranger. it hadn't been about the pleasure with her, it had been about the comfort of knowing someone he cared about was still here with him. "wanted?" had she changed her mind? "i'd like to stay with you too, and raise our children together. here, there, anywhere you want, but i want us to do it together."

his feelings for tzila were complicated and complex. he understood he cared about her, might even come to say he loves her eventually, but he knew his feelings for her were different in the way he felt about ying. to be fair, his feelings about his runaway best friend were complicated on their own as well.

her last few words brought a smile to his features, and leaned close so that he might rest against her side should she let him. "i'm glad you're going to be their mom." it was hard for him to imagine anyone else being the mother to his children when he hadn't even thought about having kids up until about a week ago. "we're going to have some pretty epic kids, don't you think?"

ah yes, the inevitable. they would have to tell hua eventually, and he'd honestly prefer sooner rather than later in case the empress rejected their children or forced them to leave. if it came down to it, he'd do what was necessary for the survival of his own young, regardless of who or what stood in his way.

"i'll tell her." he had things he'd like to discuss with her anyways, and so simply added on mentioning he was going to be a father to the list of things to talk about. he hoped for everyone's sake things would go smoothly when the truth came out, but he knew reality was not always so kind.