The silence was necessary.
His heartbeat felt thick in his chest, as though the muscle was pumping tar through his veins. Anger pulsed through him. Disappointment. Anguish. Guilt.
Somehow, he had led her to this point. She was so upset. He could feel her body near him buzzing with a kind of hurt that he didn't completely understand. She had been with Sagtannet for a long time, and Diaspora before that. She had clearly known Mahler and Wylla well, and somehow a single interaction that he had catalyzed caused such a rift that he didn't think it could ever be repaired. He felt terrible. He knew that none of his actions were evidence that he was a bad person, yet he couldn't deny that once again, everything he touched had fallen apart. A toxin had spread from his life right into hers, and now she was drenched in it, and there were no words he could offer to comfort her.
Just like Cella, Takiyok became a vessel for all the bad things in his life. At least she was still alive. At least they were, somehow, unharmed.
The sloping terrain led them into a forest in the valley. The leaves had since dropped from the trees and the ground was coated in the dead and dying. As they walked, their footsteps crunched upon the sullen earth. Rabbits fled from the undergrowth, giving him an idea for what he might do for her later. He knew she likely wasn't hungry at that moment.
We should find shelter, he said, surprisingly calmly. In her moment of need, he needed to be a rock for her to find stability. Everything had turned upside down, and it was his fault.

For the moment, it was the focus on finding the next piece to their survival that filled his thoughts. Such a familiar, fixable anxiety was a welcome reprieve from the messy disaster that had been his trial at Sagtannet. Snows would come soon to the Valley, but the both of them were made of stuff that had seen many a harsh winter. Though survival on his own during the cold season was indeed difficult, and there were times he wasn't sure he would make it, it was hardly his first rodeo.
The refocus seemed to awaken her, and he nodded. They needed somewhere that had enough distance between everyone. Had he been alone, he might have considered heading for Rusalka, but he knew that Takiyok did not trust Rosalyn and her crew. To be honest, he was just about done with things too, quickly reverting to an overall avoidance of packs.
He really, really hated that he was right.
Then, Taki started to apologize. He shook his head, staring ahead of them while they walked on. It's not like you could have really known, and you didn't promise me anything, he said. I should be apologizing to you. If I'd just kept my fat mouth shut, you'd still have a home with your son, he said, glancing at the ground where her paws walked.
It had always been in his nature to push blame on himself. Everybody else seemed to have pack life figured out. She'd made it work for a very long time before he'd butt into things.

When she explained that Diaspora welcomed opinions, he looked toward her, a bit surprised. For some reason, he had envisioned Diaspora as a typical, hierarchical, nobody gets to talk except the leaders kind of place. Perhaps it was because of their discussions before of her late husband that he had just assumed things had been rocky and awful in a similar way. It became clear that he was wrong, as she was very open to telling him that it wasn't his fault. It was Wylla and Mahler who had broken things apart. The way the pack had reacted was a symptom of the toxicity that the leaders had created.
And then the bombshell. Taikon blinked, looking ahead, knowing how much it hurt her to have Stag leave with that...woman. He wanted to be angry, but part of him was thankful. The distance between the mother and son might serve Taki better, for she would no longer be influenced by his shitty decisions. Maybe when they met again, he would have grown up a bit and they would have a better relationship for it. But the pain cut her deep, and he knew it. And he said nothing, swallowing a thick ball of tension as his throat dried up.
Sighing, he looked toward the glacier. She seemed to have the whole place mapped in her mind. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised. She was often found wandering on her own, finding the right, quiet places to think. That had been how they met, after all.
Following her lead, they made their way toward the caves. He was exhausted. Emotionally everything weighed heavy on him. If.. He paused, gathering his thoughts further. We can talk about this more later, he knew she was even more exhausted. But if we decide to stick with just ourselves through winter, we'll be okay. It won't be like..
He thought of her. Sick. Alone. Dying. Crawling to Sagtannet's doorstep. We'll be okay.

A small, thin smile graced his mouth. He hoped that she really did know. He was willing to do everything in his power to take care of her, particularly while she sifted through her emotions and outrage. What she had just done was more than just a vote of confidence for him, it meant that she trusted him enough to see her through things, and that meant something.
Ok, he said, looking about him carefully at the icy ground. The glacier was unfamiliar terrain for him. Though just beneath it, a river source led over to Whitebark Stream, he had never bothered to venture up here. Having only looked at it from below, he understood why Takiyok had led them here without needing any real provocation. It was very sheltered. If they were to be sought after from Sagtannet members, they would not be found here. A few times, his foot slipped out under him. He had grown up on a mountain, but it was a southern mountain. Her northern feet carried her better on such ice, but he was careful not to twist an ankle. There was little room for mistakes now, for they only had each other to rely on.
He nodded to her when at last they reached a small cavern. His feet were already tired. His back ached and cracked more than it should have for his age simply because of the stress he had been carrying up the mountain. She dropped. Taikon followed suit, curling into a protective ball beside her. His thoughts buzzed cruelly for some time. He replayed the conversations of the hours before in his mind obsessively without wanting to. He flipped over and adjusted many times over the next several hours before at last, sleep took him.

---

The dawn was cold. Damp. He shivered, yawning, staring out at the landscape before him and having to remember why he was there. He looked over to Takiyok in a panic, worried that somehow she had vanished. She hadn't. They were still here. He breathed in a long breath, putting his head on his paws and releasing in a heavy sigh.

The mutual difficulty had blinded him. But when she called his name, he gasped. Quickly, easily, he moved to catch her in her disorientation. I'm here, he said softly.
Breathing in a sigh and unfurling himself from her body, Taikon stood up and walked toward the entryway. He sat down and glanced to her after a very long, extended moment when he breathed in the air from the glacial atmosphere. We need a plan, he said. He had part of one, and so before she could speak, he put his own ideas forward from his night of unrest. The good news is we have options. He paused, eying her. He was happy they were together. Weirdly, the seriousness of the situation seemed to melt a bit as he looked at her, a lopsided smile coming through.
You definitely have ideas too, so let's hear them. He said it swiftly, easily. He had no interest in playing the "I know everything" boy. He was far more interested in how she felt about anything than he did.
But it was early. They had been through a whole pile of garbage, and to be honest, he was hungry. Maybe she would just be hungry and angry too.

His nose twitched as he took in the smells from the morning. He thought about where to go, what to do, but Takiyok's thoughts echoed his.
"I have no interest in joining another pack right now," she said. Mm, he agreed quietly. It felt odd to have tried twice and have both attempts fail. Sagtannet seemed like a great opportunity to be closer to his friend and make something of himself. It had fallen apart so quickly, it seemed likely that he was cursed. Well, that or just horribly unlucky.
Taikon looked out toward the west, keeping one ear trained on her so he could still listen. He took a breath, exhaling fog. She was right. It seemed like putting more space between themselves and Sagtannet was a good idea. He saw the way that Star had looked at them when Mahler went bananas on him. There was no doubt in his mind that Mahler and the others would hold a grudge and potentially try to find them. He would not let them hurt her.
Taikon turned around and walked closer to her, sitting down. I agree; we need distance. We should travel past the Sunspires and find somewhere small, somewhere away from others, he said. I have a friend out that way. I'm not sure where she is, but she roams around a lot; she might be able to help us, Taikon explained, thinking of Lunaria. He wasn't sure if she was still hanging around with Macaria or not, but if they could find her, she would have a better idea of the packs in the area and people to avoid.
The journey would take days, but they would need to move before the real winter started to hit. Thankfully, it was still warm enough that they had plenty of time to get where they needed to be before the ice storms came.

Taikon didn't know if Lunaria would be able to help them. He trusted her, more than perhaps he trusted anyone else other than Taki. In times like these, it was always best to rely only on what you knew, and what Taikon knew was that the raven woman would likely know somewhere they could head. Finding her would be its own task, especially since she was the type of woman to move around frequently.
Last time I saw her, she was at one of the Sunspire peaks, but she was usually around the flatlands on the other side of the mountains. Obviously we'll want to avoid the Saints, he said, assuming that they were still in the canyons as before. He had no idea they and the others of the Sunspires had left.
Other than Luna, he didn't have a lead on who he could trust. He felt that he had rather sullied his relationship with the members of Court after the crow boy had offered him a home and he had rejected it. Still, he knew that it would be better to head closer to the Hushed Willows than it would be to move toward Ursus. Who knew what had changed in the time he had spent in the north of the park.
Taikon looked at Takiyok. He knew that none of this was ideal. He wished that he could have a map of the entire park and where was safe and where they could go. But that just wasn't how anything worked. He knew they would be okay if they could just find safe passage through the mountains.

Takiyok resigned herself to their new goal. Immediately, she asked if he was hungry, and he shrugged and nodded lightly. We'll pick something up, he said. From his experiences as a lone wolf, he knew that eating, especially during stressful times, was important. Travelling often and far burned a lot of energy. They would need to support themselves, and hunting would only be easy for a short window in early winter before the harsh times hit. Without a pack to support them, he knew that they would need to take every opportunity they could.
Taikon stood as well and moved with a brief stretch toward the cave's entryway. Before he moved out, he glanced at her and gave a strained half-smile. He pushed close to her so that he could nudge her shoulder to reaffirm that they really would be okay.
He didn't say anything as they left the glacial cavern, heading down and away from the ice and from Sagtannet, quick to put distance between them and an old, broken life. Taikon resumed what had become his normal, pushing himself to look ahead to their future survival instead of lingering in the past. The moment they slowed down, he wouldn't be able to run from his thoughts anymore.
At least they were easier to swallow with her around.