Moonspear half light, half heart

As @Rodyn, Sialuk, and the others settled the new children Njord briefly departed to fetch meat from a fresh cache. He was in no shape to hunt and thought it best to find something quickly.

He returned with a few deer ribs still filled with red, cured meat. Then, he found Sialuk’s ulaq where he saw Rodyn in the doorway watching his children nurse.

Njord set down the food before the grieving man and pushed it towards him with his snout. “Tae keep yer strength,” Moonspear’s elder advised. Then, he took a seat beside Rodyn in an attempt to help shoulder his pain.

“Tell me their names,” he asked when one of the children mewled.

He couldn't describe it nor would he have been able to ever fathom the pain he felt when he saw not his peachy queen, but her ice sister nursing their children. It was unimaginqble pain.

Njord was there and with food no less, but the Alpha didn't want it. He knew though it would be rude to not accept and he did need his strength. He stared at it a long minute and finally took a small bite. Pain still heavy in his chest. If he thought of his beautiful moon and sea queen tears began anew.

Rodyn swallowed hard and cleared his throat. Rolayne is our bear boy and Panuk is our little island brown one.

“Rolayne. Panuk.” Njord tested their names and gave a stout nod of approval. “Braw names for such fine boys. They will grow to become good men, like their father…” Njord passed Rodyn a warm expression. “For their father is the strongest man I know.”

The red-tail draped a paw across Rodyn’s shoulders and pulled him in. It was true, Njord could think of no other man so devoted and industrious who possessed such a benevolent character. He thought back to the time they had hunted together upon Dragoncrest’s shores. Since then, Rodyn had toiled to build a family castle by the sea. To see his beloved wife pass was no less than a tragedy.

“Ah’m sorry, mo bràthair,” he said in a quiet, solemn voice.

Rodyn smiled though it was hard. Thank you.

Rodyn gave a soft quiet sob. I don't feel strong Njord. Not even a little. I don't know how to raise sons by myself.

Rodyn blinked fast. He leaned into the hug. Stifling a soft noise.

I am too for them for me for wveryone who lost her. The pain doesn't just belong to me, but gods, Njord.

Rodyn blew out a breath.

Don’t worry.

Everything will be okay.

These were the phrases Njord dared not utter. It was difficult to refrain from reassurance because everything was not okay. Rodyn’s, and many others, lives had been irrevocably changed by Samani’s loss and no amount of platitudes would change that. How Njord wished he could take away all the pain and sorrow from his friend!

He was grateful, at least, that Rodyn shared his thoughts and did not steele his heart. Njord’s instinct was to offer solutions – try to fix things – but, from past experience, he felt this would not help console the man.

When Rodyn leaned into him, Njord squeezed a little tighter and listened. “Ye knew your wife in a way no one else did,” he said without uttering her name - for Njord knew it to be the Nuiruk way. “Ye held one another’s hearts in true love… an’ I honor that. Ye ken a loss in a way no one else can imagine.” He wanted his friend to know that it was okay to own his grief. To be selfish in this moment.

And his sons… Njord knew, in his heart, that Rodyn would be an amazing father no matter the circumstance. “Village Moonspear will help you whenever ye desire it,” he promised. “Ye need not be doin’ anythin’ alone.”

Every fiber of Rodyn rebelled against his new reality. He didn't wantvthis life for his sons. He wanted his daughter and hia wife. And she was his wife whether they had the cermony or not as far as he was concerned. Nothing would be okay for a very long time if ever.

Rodyn choked but offered a watery smile. I really miss her, Njord already. It's like a piece of me is just gone.

Rodyn looked down. I appreciate that. And our boys will too.

Njord’s head bobbed in agreement. Never would he doubt the depth of Rodyn’s grief. “Aye,” he said, baritone voice soft and fatherly. His jaw clenched as he mourned with the broken man.

Then, Rodyn voiced his appreciation. “Of course,” he assured. “Ye are like kin, tae me. I’ll help ye any way I can.” Idly, he wondered if Rodyn would choose to raise his children here or take them back to Moontide when they were milk-weaned. That was a matter for another day.

“My daughter Seal ‘as taken a likin’ tae pups. Maybe she’ll fancy herself a pupsitter,” he mused, hoping to brighten Rodyn's spirit. “She could help watch yer wee ones when ye need it. Ah, but alas,” Njord voice became whimsical, “it goes by so verrae fast… blink your eyes an’ they’ll be grown.”

Rodyn took a shaky breath and then another. Yellow eyed gaze falling to his children. They had his fall colors. The only one to resemble his peachy queen and her family lay with her mother. Jaw clenched tightly then, a new wave of grief.

Truthfully, Rodyn hadn't thought ahead to anything. And he probably wouldn't right now. His children his only concern. Moontide would be there. He'd make a trip down soon enough it would only take a day or two. He could trust to leave Panuk and Rolayne.

Rodyn's ear flicked back and thecfirst genuine smile not colored in sadness.

That's sweet. I'm sure she can watch them every now and again for me.

Rodyn blinked and looked at them. That's what they tell me. I'll just have to be present as much as i can.

“Mmhmm,” the redtail agreed with a sage nod. Njord could remember a time when Loko, Sobo, Coraline, and Mireille had been young pups playing in the warm beach sand. That memory felt both distant and near… something that happened many years ago but felt like it was yesterday. Njord found as he became older, time moved faster. Even Seal and Orca were growing like wild weeds.

The grief and bittersweetness was an uncomfortable place to be, but it was part of the process. Njord removed his arm from ‘round Roydn and took a big breath as if he set down a great weight. “Ah always thought a father’s path could be lonely… sometimes, he must carry the family’s burdens. Make difficult choices.” He imparted upon the young man. “But… if you ever feel this way, ken others like me walk this path. We can walk beside one another, yes?”

Rodyn didn't know what the passage of time looked like for his own children. He wouldn't know until it existed. But he had seen the way time had worked through him. The way Ariadne and Callyope had grown. All the little ones he had been near last year and even Shikoba's babies this year. Already nearly 6 months old.

Rodyn nodded his head. Yes we can. Our son's will know love. And they will walk a path of strong foundations. I wil lmake sure of it. Thank you.

If nothing else, Rodyn would make sure this was a reality. He would break his very bones to make sure his children grew up never feeling as if something was missing. They would have the best love that he could give. They would have many mothering figures, his wife's sisters would be more than helpful he knew. The men that made up the village too. He knew this. They would miss their mother, he would miss their mother, but they would know that they were loved by her, for her.

“Aye, I ken ye will,” Njord agreed as he shook Rodyn’s shoulder with one paw. Then, feeling it was time to let Rodyn be alone, Njord rose to his feet.

“Ah’ll leave ye be, now, my friend. Dinnae forget tae eat,” the elder said as he gestured to the rest of the food he had brought. “Ah’m off tae hunt, but Ah’ll be checkin’ in on you and your wee ones later,” he assured.

Then, Njord turned and departed for the mountain forest.