Kildeer Rest i need a girl like you

it was an overcast morning, the kind where sweeping grey clouds float aimlessly across a steel coloured sky, and everything was still, everything was quiet, save for the light rustle of the wind through the grassy fields. saarthal would've complained about the weather but it matched her mood somewhat, and it was cool, so she decided to let it be and just enjoy herself for a while. the grass tickled as she crept forward then stopped, then rushed forward, tearing through the field with a reckless sort of wild abandon. ah, god, how good it felt to run free as the wind; she'd nearly forgotten after that endlessss journey through the stifling forest yesterday. forests are great and all, but god was she glad to be away from it.

saarthal skidded to a stop in front of a strange rock protruding out from the earth and tilted her head, a frown creasing her brows lightly as she sniffed it then shrugged and turned away. it was just a rock. rocks are just rocks. nothing interesting. nothing interesting anywhere. and no girls. that's never good. 

And then suddenly, there was girl.

Lanawyn, cloaked in the fresh, fertile scent of wildflowers, rosewater — spring had come and gone but the Governor's sister kept her own supply.  She was crouched low in the grass, unperturbed as it tickled her underbelly.  She moved through the kildeer with silent, brooding grace.  Ultimately the trip had no purpose.  Often she thought of Dauntless, but she would not risk the Grotto again — even for a striking boy.

She was unsurprised to have company although she did not think it would have come in the form of another young girl, bolting through the field with reckless abandon.  It brought a twinkle to Lanawyn's eye, and as the other skid to a halt, she crept forward and chuffed.

saarthal had been expecting silence so when the unfamiliar chuff pierced the grey silence, she started. aaand promptly tripped over some dent in the ground, stumbling and reeling as she struggled to regain the balance she never had in first place. when her footing finally returned, she allowed her gaze to settle on the girl. the girl. a girl? right after she'd complained about the nonexistence of girls? could this be real? this better be real. she had no time for hallucinations, especially pretty hallucinations, noo, that would derail her journey terribly. she had no time for that but... "Holyyy shit," she breathed out, kind of giddy from not falling over in front of some random cutie. "that was close, you scared me, you literally just — " she gestured wildly at the grass, then actually looked at the stranger, looked her right in her fiery orange eyes.

and promptly swallowed her words, nearly tripping over some nonexistent hole in the ground again. yep. saarthal was done. her dignity was gone. it'd vanished into that nonexistent hole. she'd tripped twice in the span of like three seconds? in front of a cute stranger? asdfghjkl

but, because saarthal was never one to think too deeply, really, in these situations (she tended to forget anything embarassing that had happened in about a minute or so, generally (though not before mentally freaking out about it for thirty seconds)), a lopsided, roguish grin adorned her lips, " — you distracted me," she finished, with a cant of her head and a swish of her tail. "in a good way."

She felt almost guilty for startling the stranger.  She watched as she tripped over the ground and her words.  She drew her tongue across her lips to suppress a chuckle, and the wildfire of her gaze was met with twin suns.  They were both grayscale girls, both with intense orange eyes.

She also thought she was hallucinating for a moment.  Did I?  Her tail swayed behind her, her expression coquettish.  Could you use a distraction?  Well, maybe that was much too forward.  I'm Lanawyn.

WOAH. oKAy. back up. 

saarthal could feel her eyes widening, probably in a comical, utterly unattractive manner but she couldn't help it. not when...did she..??? saarthal blinked, and blinked, and blinked...but no, the girl was still there...she licked — dude that was hot....sTOP THE INaPproPRIaTe thoughts. yeah, no, flirting was fun and all and yeah, the roman was hella good at it (or so she thought, but let a girl dream) but when the object of her affections flirted back??? did she even flirt back, though? nahhh, i was dreaming. it's not real, hahahaa. 

gone was the confident, suave wolfess she'd imitated moments ago. saarthal blushed an impossible shade of red at lanawyn's words, the heat crawling up her neck and colouring her cheeks and the tips of her ears a dark pink because she was not used to that. like, at all. "um..yes, totally — i love a distraction, i mean who wouldn't, hahah —" saarthal flushed and ducked her head, ears twitching in embarassment. this was not going the way she'd expected it to. let me die, now, please.

then realising she hadn't introduced herself, the tongue-tied girl stole a glance and smiled sheepishly, tail flicking awkwardly by her ankles. "saarthal, i'm saarthal." not that she'd want to know, now.

Saarthal, she tested, letting the stranger's heavy name roll over her tongue.

Lanawyn had never been interested in girls — she didn't even know that's what was happening, really — but there was something youthful and intruiging about the grayscale-bathed beauty before her.  Why don't you walk with me?  Maybe she could lead her back to the Sanctuary and show her the heavy wildflower fields of Paradise Garden, the monarchs as they swarmed.  

She was not put off by the girl's stuttering.  She gave a scarcely offered smile and took a step or two forward, and the girl's tail flicked behind her as she cast a glance over her shoulder.  I've got a distraction for you.  Have you ever seen a swarm of butterflies?

hmm, maybe she'd mistaken casual talking for flirting. honestly, it wouldn't even be the first time. girls were...yeah. ughgrrj. girls were such players. and most of the time, they didn't even know. it was kinda annoying for someone who was actually trying to be a player, y'know, but whatever. after all, maybe lanawyn had really been flirting! maybe she hadn't! it doesn't matter!! straight or not, saarthal will always find a way to charm herself into their hearts. 

"i mean, i've felt a swarm of butterflies before, does that count?" she teased, a mischievous glimmer flickering through the fiery depths of her eyes as the corner of her lip tugged upwards into the shadows of a smirk. lanawyn had a pretty smile, saarthal noted absentmindedly as she padded eagerly after the other girl, a notable bounce in her step. butterflies weren't really her thing, per se, but anything to do with cute girls and delaying the inevitable journey alone was good enough in saarthal's books.

She laughed good naturedly at the girl, and looked over her shoulder at her in response.  No.  Her ears flicked once more, the tip of her tail swaying amiably.  We will have to go into the packlands, but my home is friendly.  Is this alright?  She didn't want to just grab the girl and throw her in the Sanctuary's lands without at least giving her a heads up.  But the view is worth it.

no, the girl said. it doesn't count. but saarthal simply grinned in response, perking up considerably when lanawyn laughed; she liked making other people smile, it made her feel good, a bubbly kind of warm and happy. if she was being honest, saarthal craved that feeling — happiness? no, contentment? whatever it was, it was her drug: she chased after it like it was her lifeline. it lit up her otherwise grey world, a splash of colour on a canvas of black and white. but it always left, always faded away into the background, leaving her stunned and hollow and utterly empty, lost in the maze of her self-created chaos.

"only if you protect me if anything happens," saarthal teased, her tone light-hearted and flirtatious but she continued to follow lanawyn, evidently agreeing to venture into the packlands with her. there was a beat of silence, then she glanced over at her companion, a spark of curiousity evident in her gaze. "so..lanawyn, are the the leader..? i mean, my old pack would never have allowed a stranger past its gates, so.." saarthal trailed off and smiled somewhat sheepishly.

The light in her burning eyes flickered, lips parted to reveal a grin.  She couldn't help but let out a joyous laugh before Saarthal hit her with more questions.

No, I'm not.  My brother is.  But our pack is a Sanctuary, and our borders are open.  So long as you don't try to like, you know, kill everyone or something crazy.  She shrugged and chuckled nervously again.  Nobody will think anything of it, and I'm not sure anyone will even ask.

And there was that feeling again, lighting up her cheeks and her eyes.  This felt genuine and unforced, unlike most of her encounters with pretty strangers.

saarthal grinned, eyes crinkling cutely when lanawyn laughed; a pleased smirk adorned the roman's lips and she glanced away, quietly savouring the sound of her companion's laughter. cute girls with cute smiles and cute eyes and pretty laughs are going to be the death of me, one day. absentmindedly, saarthal wondered what it would be like to actually, you know, fall in love — like, she'd flirted with dozens of girls, probably more, and some guys as well and it's fun but she doubted the existence of deeper feelings beyond the harmless jokes and cringey pick up lines. well, to a certain extent, that was partly due to the fact that approximately 100% of the girls she'd flirted with were straight. it had just been fun, she supposed. she'd never had anything real.

saarthal laughed softly, a lopsided smirk tugging at the edge of her lips as a thought crossed her mind, "nah, i'm not going to do anything crazy...although, let's be honest here —" the greyscale girl licked her lips, eyes crinkling, "— being in the company of a cute girl with a pretty smile who laughs at the stupid things i say, and wants me to see a swarm of butterflies for our first date seems crazy enough to me." she glanced over at lanawyn to gauge her reaction, but forged forwards anyhow. "i'm joking about the date thing," she said after a moment, lighthearted. she knew that many wolves could take it the wrong way and didn't want to scare the other girl away just yet. "but i do think it's cute that you want to bring me to see something special...to you?" saarthal glanced over, then chuckled softly. "i dunno, it's cute...please stop me if i talk too much, i tend to talk too much when i'm nervous, and i haven't talked to anyone in a while — i'm sorry —"

I wanted Lanawyn to be straight, but Saarthal has me QUESTIONING.. REALLY HARD.

She liked the way the corners of the Roman's eyes crinkled when she smiled.  She liked the way only half of her lip would quirk in a smile, she liked the way she licked her lips.  Far away, something reminded her of pomagranates, of honey.

Her brows raised, mouth parted gently in a kind of nervous surprise.  The girl had spilled out a mess of words.. but Lanawyn was not inclined to rebuff any of it.  A queer feeling bubbled inside her stomach, colored her cheeks, and she corrected her expression again to a soft smile.  Well, Saarthal, she interjected, the butterflies were the most beuatiful thing I had ever seen until I stumbled upon you.

She kept walking casually, but she could feel her heartbeat in her ears.  You're fine.  It is special to me, though.

;)) yesss, my work here is done

uM OkAy. 

wow. so, saarthal, how do we feel about this?

i feel like she's flirting — she's flirting right? i'm not misreading this? right??? fuck, i better not be. i'm going to fucking kill something if i am...wait, hold up, yooo..dude, is she blushing? oh my god, hahaha, what the fuck is this? jEEz, fuCkk, okay, saarthal, my dude, don't mess this up, don't mess this up, please don't mess this up — i'm not going to mess this up, god, i'm you, if i mess it up, you mess it up too.

oKAY. SHUT UP BRAIN.

"thanks," saarthal mumbled and ducked her head, trying to hide the red flush crawling up her cheeks. no one had called her beautiful before. she wasn't exactly pretty, she didn't think, not with her small stature and plain colours and..whatever. it felt strange, but, in a good way. kind of? a smile threatened to burst across her face amidst the redness of her cheeks, so she turned her head away even more, as if that completely unsubtle action would not tell lanawyn exactly what was going on.

okay, you need to stop. pick up your game, dude. 

"sooo, then, am i special too?" saarthal teased mischievously, a playful glimmer in her fiery copper gaze. she smiled softly at the other girl and canted her head, and wondered at the thoughts that were passing through lanawyn's mind.

Her eyes twinkled as they approached the borders.  Was flirting with a girl the same thing as seducing a man?  She didn't know, she'd never done this.  With boys it was easy.  All she had to do really was splay her legs or trace their underside with her nose; they only had one thing on their mind.  Girls were tricky.. and she only knew that because she was one.

She watched as the girl ducked and squirmed beneath her words.  She resisted the urge to run her tongue over her lips again.  Instead she ducked close and ran it across the tender bulb of the Roman's ear.  Do you want to find out?  She pulled away to trot a few steps in front of the strange girl, her tail raised as it waved.  Inside she was terrified, screaming — what happens if this girl wants to, you know, get down?  What happens if instead she just screws it all up?

She caught her breath and strode into the territory, the garden just ahead.

saarthal tensed. she could feel just how close the other girl was for that mere second, and if wolves could sweat nervously, she probably would've filled a bucket by now. lanawyn's tongue drew over her ear, leaving a tingling wetness, and saarthal licked her lips, trying to suppress the grin that threatened to burst onto her face. yes! then she thought of what lanawyn had said and wait, she doesn't want to do it does she? because for all her flirting and interest in girls saarthal didn't know how — like she knew how reproduction worked, but she was pretty sure girl on girl action was not reproductive so, like, what happens down there? 

saarthal glanced up at lanawyn, eyes quietly following the action of the other girl's tail. maybe, she was just overthinking. maybe, she didn't mean it like that. and whatever, even if...she did...saarthal would just have to figure it out as she went. just wing it, you know. it'll probably involve licking — everything involves licking — and did they, like, shove some random thing into — !!! no, no. not going there. stop.

she pushed those thoughts away aggressively. mustering up a faux sense of confidence and a light-hearted attitude, saarthal bounded forward to catch up with lanawyn. "well, i think you're special," the yearling replied breezily, though not without a subtle underlying layer of soft sincerity.

The way the girl licked her lips was caught by Lanawyn in her peripheral vision, and it only fueled her desire.  That was an interesting thought; never before had a girl drawn such a reaction from Lanawyn!  Men weren't this hard, men were easy.  Lanawyn was easy.  But this was different, and the layers to their conversation both made her feel powerful and nervous.

But her words drew forth something else.  I think you're special too, she admitted tenderly, and her voice cracked.  That was embarrassing; she ducked her head as she continued into the territory, the Garden just ahead.  The further into the territory they traveled, the more butterflies could be seen trailing overhead.

As they arrived, she turned and met the Roman's gaze.  It's just through here.  Step forward with me, together.

"you're cute," saarthal smiled and though her tone is teasing, there is a glimmer of fondness in her eyes. her initial reaction had been to laugh at the crack in lanawyn's voice and make fun of her, but something about the atmosphere of their conversation stopped her from doing so. perhaps, it was because to a certain extent this had ascended above the realms of playful, harmless flirting in the sense that normally, when saarthal played around with girls, it usually meant nothing because both sides either bore no attraction for the other, or had purely surface attractions. but saarthal felt as if this time was different, maybe it was because of lanawyn, or maybe it was because of her own feelings — like, did she find the older girl attractive? definitely. so, yes, surface attraction. would she want to fool around if she had the chance? well, yes, even if she had no idea how. did she want to get to know lanawyn better? ..yes?

whatever. this was too complicated. saarthal didn't want overthink things anymore. thinking, she felt, often lead to imaginary consequences which were often much worst than anything that could realistically happen in this realm of reality. she wanted to just go with the flow, go wherever this took her, and if it hurt, it hurt, if it didn't, it didn't. whatever. she was young, she had her entire life ahead of her — nothing mattered, really.

saarthal's eyes trailed after the butterflies dancing through the air as she followed her companion, and something akin to childlike wonder flitted across her copper gaze. she jerked back to reality when lanawyn spoke, suddenly realising they had arrived, and offered the other girl a sheepish smile and an obedient nod. "okay."

i'm so sorry!!!

She wondered if somehow she had absorbed the butterflies that surrounded them because she could feel the fluttering in her belly, in her chest.  In typical brazen and flirtatious manner, she brushed herself against Saarthal as she stepped forward, each nerve ending tingling with both delight and a foreshadowing anticipation.  

together they strode through the bushes and leaves and into the garden, which swarmed with butterflies.  wildflowers stretched as far as the eye could see and swayed gently beneath the spring breeze.  I still think it's only the second most beautiful thing I've ever seen, she murmured after she'd allowed the other girl a moment to take things in, but she couldn't dare look her in the eye.

it's ok!! it's no problem :)

lanawyn's touch ignited saarthal's skin, leaving a light tingling trailing across the places where the other girl had brushed past. she sucked in a sharp breath, exhaling softly through her teeth as she attempted to gather her nerves and get her shit together. saarthal was tense, muscles taut beneath silver fur as she scanned her surroundings in an almost panicked manner, almost as if she was looking for an exit. but, she just shook her head and after a moment padded after lanawyn into the garden.

it was beautiful. the garden was beautiful. and saarthal stood there, staring, mouth agape and eyes bright with glittering wonder. it took a moment for lanawyn's words to register in her mind, what with the sheer overwhelming view taking ove her mind, but when it did, saarthal flushed and ducked her head, hiding the beaming, almost child-like in its eagerness, pleased smile spreading like wildifire across her face. "same," saarthal said then, finding the courage to find lanawyn's gaze and hold it (if she could). cautiously, then, the yearling began to close the remaining distance between the two of them. and if lanawyn allowed her to do so, saarthal would lean in close and kiss the other girl's cheek softly, murmuring — "you're so distracting... i can't even admire the view that means so much to you properly..."