Lost Creek Hollow I'm unsure of where I stand

anyone feel like cheering Ilya up and keeping her from running off? any pack member goes. (: maybe someone going for a caregiver trade? either way works ~

 

It was a strange feeling to be sad. The black wolf hadn't been sad in quite some time. She had even, perhaps, forgotten the feeling. Her tail drooped, her ears were flat, and to top it off the girl didn't even bother to keep her coat groomed. Not that the slowly aging female had impressed anyone in the hollow, but personal upkeep and image meant a lot to her. It showed motivation and dedication... Two things she lacked right now. 

Ilya had no intentions of going after Shardul as Luke had after Mordecai was attacked. She knew that this was  the result. Although Mordecai was healing, now a wolf she was closer to was maimed. It wasn't fair, and she knew it, but Luke had been stupid. She did not have the courage, currently, to go after the cougar. The sin done onto her packmates did not anger her as they did Luke, it only broke her spirits. She had seen Mordecai's face; his once handsome face, torn and slowly healing. He lost part of his eyesight and, although he remained the respected and strong alpha Ilya had thought him to be, she knew that he probably lost a lot of dignity. She'd never ask, and therefore would never know, but somehow just felt it. On top of that, the happiest wolf in the world had lashed out on each and every one of his friends and packmates. As he bled out into the white snow, the black girl felt her heart break. And it continued to break still.

Every day she stayed further away from their borders. She hunted inside the territory and kept a close watch on their caches; but rarely did she stray from inside their borders. She was afraid, and she was broken. Part of her almost wanted to leave her beloved home. She'd grown to find herself at home in the Hollow, and it filled a crack in her soul that she didn't know could be fixed. But here she was. Sitting on the northern edge of the territory, staring out into the unclaimed land and thinking. What she needed was reassurance, guidance. Someone to tell her that it'd be okay, and as the packs Gamma she needed to be there for the pack. She knew this. It was not anything she didn't understand or want to do. She wanted nothing more than to be a useful asset to the pack. But times were hard, and the highest ranks of the pack were struggling. Who was she to say that they would be picked off one by one? Who was to say that she wouldn't be killed, and would be left the last man standing, surrounded by her maimed and slaughtered packmates. She did not know. She did not know anything. The only thing that was certain, was that the girl was running out of sane thoughts, and needed a friend, even if just for the day.