Blacktail Deer Plateau Hide Away

Desna continued to appraise her, and for a moment, Nanook wondered in a cloud of fear and hope if her sister would recognize her, if she would plead with her again to stop shutting her out and start letting her in, to be a family again. But reality proved bittersweet. Desna gave her what she needed, but not what she wanted, and the youth felt her mouth shake into a quivered frown when her sister simply agreed with her deflection.

She found she couldn't mirror her sister's confidence any more. Not even the edge to Desna's voice stirred ire in Nanook. Instead, her sister's hardness conjured a storm of emotion Nanook couldn't process, and her tail hung limp at her hocks. When the grey girl finally spoke, her tone fell flat, unable to settle on anything but rigid formality, controlled and forced and the only way she could get by without breaking down.

"I know that," was her only retort, and she shifted her gaze when Desna pressed further. Her eyes stung, but the rest of her face stood as stone. Could she deceive in this as well? She glanced at her sister, and her heart thrummed with the fear of entrusting her with why she had left - why they had all left. "I..." And her voice caught, words squeezed to silence. How could she tell her, even in secret, that she was the reason for their family's suffering, that because of her, their family had shattered? Nanook diverted her gaze to the ground as the burn in her eyes grew wet. "It's better if I'm alone. No one can get hurt that way." Not Desna, not mama, not papa or Sesi or Xan. And not her.