Phoenix Maplewood there was an empty space in the shadow beside you

He responded, and something like relief coursed through her - relief that had her soften, had her feel something when he growled, when he grabbed her scruff. she could feel something building in him, and felt fear alongside the heaviness and the desperation. but then he stepped away, and she shrunk back, left only with shame and empty worries and wants. stop.  "adi-" how easily was her scheme swept aside, her motives uncovered, and her ugly desperation made plain. she stared at him with dull gaze, the kind of shame-riddled think that sparked to life only then the vulgarity rent the stillness, and she moved back further. 

 "no,"  a weak denial of the shame, what he implied, but her molten gaze held equal measures anger and shame, now. he asked, and in her turmoil, he pried open the lid of her worries. "I don't want -" no, she would not be weak, for her doubts made her so, and he could not know. for while some part of her knew that love ought to be able to understand weakness, she did not believe that it could, could not take the chance. she could only push it down, suppress it, alongside all the other doubts and things she'd never admit. 

 "nothing is wrong." The words came out low, steadfast, and already she pulled away from him, filling the void with silence and empty space, suppressing her horror at what she'd just done. how childish she'd been, how stupid. disgust was painted across her face a moment, and she stared back at Adi, willing him to drop it, wishing she could find the words to explain away hat she'd done.