Sleeping Dragon i want a eulogy while my body is still warm
what do i do after all this survival?
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Ooc — Kermy
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#1
All Welcome 
First two tags for visibility.

With the delay on the trip to the shore, Thuringwethil struggles with restlessness. Sleep isn't coming easy, her stomach—despite what little food she's managed—rumbles in angry protest, and the frequency of dreams have become prominent. Late in the evening, transitioning into night, she knows she needs to find her way back to a sleeping spot for the night. Set to leave in the morning with @Gluskap and @Dio, she'd rather have a little rest under her belt if she can't have nutrients. It is a dangerous path to make, but a necessary one, and she's confident the three of them will make it just fine.

In her search, she finds a resting @Wildfire and with little verbal exchange, lowers down nearby to do the same. In the comfort of a friend, it does not take long to find her slumber.

***

"Yu bliden?" asks a sleeping Thuringwethil, a mumble into the bright night. The moon is high and sky is clear, illuminating her otherwise shadow figure. "...fig au... fir rau—"

Her body jerks, startling her awake and on disoriented legs she's shuffling to her feet. Stumbling for grip, claws holding onto the ground and she pants, her heart thrumming in her ears so loud she can feel her pulse. Blurred vision searches her surroundings, fur bristling in response to the—in the moment—foreign form on the ground nearby, growling an automatic warning in her panic.
Trigedasleng · Common
all that wanting, all that aching, all that capacity for love:
it never belonged to you in the first place
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Ooc — Kat
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Following her panic attack, Wildfire felt too weak and shaky to do much but crawl back to Drageda and collapse beneath a bare beech tree to rest. She tried not to contemplate the fragility of her own life any further, lest she bring on another fit, nor would she let herself even think about Thuringwethil. But sleep didn't come easily either. Keeping her mind blank proved a very difficult exercise but at least it gave her something to focus on other than her possibly impending doom.

Somewhere along the way, she must have fallen asleep after all, because she stirred suddenly and it was very, very dark. She didn't know why she'd woken, at first, until her eyes adjusted and she saw a familiar silhouette nearby. Her heart jumped into her throat, not only because it was the commander but because she looked like she was poised for attack. And she wasn't facing outward, toward an unseen enemy, but right at Wildfire herself.

In her initial panic, Wildfire wondered if Thuringwethil had gone mad with hunger and was going to kill her for food. Although that set off every instinct of self-preservation in her body, she didn't dare move. If the Alpha intended to attack her, Wildfire didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of coming out the other side of the fight intact (even in prime condition, which she most certainly was not). And if she was going to die as a result of this godforsaken famine, what better way to go out than being eaten by the dark Heda...?
what do i do after all this survival?
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Another viability tag. 8)

Nothing slows down. Her heart beat doubles, her growl increases, and her lips curl even am higher to reveal her teeth. However, her glazed over gaze remains, despite joe fast everything changes, but she knows on some baser level that something is wrong and she has to get rid of it. There isn't time to register the threat, pushing herself forward for the elimination.

Stepping out from the shade of the tree, the moon shines down and she catches a small flash of red. Her eyes widen, and blink a few times, and the glossy look fades away into new realization. Thuringwethil shakes her head, then looks around for the threat only to realize there had never been one at all. While her mind slowly catches up to reality, she begins to pick apart the differences between dreams and reality.

Her breath quickens and her panic only changes into... more panic. She swallows a lump that formed in her throat and her fur relaxes, stammering back a few steps to put distance between them as if she is afraid of what she might do. The lack of control takes a moment to register as, now separate, she recollects her dream. She gives herself another moment, but it is not long before she speaks through strained breathing: "Why di—"

Unsure of exactly what had happened, she tries again, "I... I have to go."

Her next, maybe even her first, coherent thought is that she needs to find @Magpie.
Trigedasleng · Common
all that wanting, all that aching, all that capacity for love:
it never belonged to you in the first place
gubraithian fire
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Of course, Wildfire hoped that the Alpha female would come to her senses (or whatever) and not devour her in the end. She just braced herself for the possibility that it might happen. She didn't have the strength or the skill or the will to fight off Thuringwethil if it came right down to it. And sacrificing her life so that the Heda could survive...? It would be a noble death. All the same, Wildfire would have been lying if she'd said she wasn't about to void both her bladder and her bowels in absolute fear as she held her breath and waited.

She nearly shat herself with relief when Thuringwethil stepped back, appearing confused and disoriented. Voice coming out way higher than normal, Wildfire squeaked, "Bad dr—?" But before the words could escape from between her pinched, pale lips, the commander announced that she had to go. The whole situation suddenly and starkly reminded Wildfire of her own crazed episode earlier in the day.

"Thur," she said quietly, "wait." Her heart began to drum in her chest as the Delta pushed herself onto her feet and glided close to Thuringwethil, hesitant. "I think you had a nightmare? I had one myself, earlier... only mine was a daymare." But that was more or less an irrelevant ramble. "It's ait," she soothed, using a bit of the language she had picked up along the way only to end up sounding like some sort of gangster or something.

Tentatively, Wildfire reached out to touch her nose to the corner of the Heda's eye. Whether or not the comforting touch was welcome, Wildfire found herself immediately caught up in the point of contact. Without thinking, she slid more of her muzzle against the side of the Alpha's face, her pink tongue peeking out to delicately press against the commander's jaw.
what do i do after all this survival?
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Thuringwethil's cut off before she steps away and Wildfire is soon in her space with words she can barely register. She blinks a few times when she feels her cool nose against her fur and slowly she closes them when her muzzles presses her own. She leans into it and lowers her nose to catch the gentle, small embrace, and is surprised by how quickly she calms down. Her heart rate lowers, her fur evened out, and she's confident in the separation of reality and her dream. Still flashes of it come to mind but it's out of reach, for the time being.

She breaks the touch a moment later, searching the younger wolf's face. The word of her own language had barely been recognized, easily mistaken for speaking too fast; often times the right string of words would make sense between both tongues.

"I have had them before but it's been months," she murmurs. Her last string of nightmares, speakings, we're just before Seageda crumbled. "Something bad usually follows when the other commanders come to me," she tells her, scarcely a worry she might be misunderstood.
Trigedasleng · Common
all that wanting, all that aching, all that capacity for love:
it never belonged to you in the first place
gubraithian fire
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Wildfire felt a flood of warmth from her nose down to her toes as they continued to share space and even breaths. When Thuringwethil inevitably drew away, the yearling very nearly chased her. But she planted her feet and remained rooted to the spot, briefly meeting the commander's eyes before respectfully averting her gaze. Although it flitted downward, her ears pricked, listening attentively as the Heda made a murmured confession. Her belly swooped at the implicit trust, the quiet intimacy of this moment.

Her mouth opened and she almost began babbling about her own episode earlier that day again—a misguided attempt at camaraderie—though it clapped shut a few seconds later. She couldn't go into detail about that, not without admitting things she never intended to let see the light of day (or night, whatever). Her eyes had widened slightly but her face softened again as she recollected the minutiae of her existential crisis. She had finally come to terms with the nature of her feelings toward the commander, then decided to repress them, only to realize that these secrets might literally follow her to the grave sooner than later...

What did she have to lose, if she was going to die? Wildfire inched closer to the black Alpha again, dropping her head to peek up at the taller woman from beneath her eyelashes. "Will you tell me about it?" she whispered, heart thumping. Maybe if the Heda was willing to share private things with her, the Delta could return the favor, even if the idea left her feeling breathless all over again.
what do i do after all this survival?
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Thuringwethil's eyes flutter upward, finding something else to loon upon. Wildfire's question should otherwise be simple but the fear she's contributing to the warnings grip her. Even if the girl might not understand the potential translation, she'd be making a confession she doesn't want to accept. A defeated sigh deflates her, and eventually she works her way back down to the ground. Delaying the answer, as if she might not respond at all, she settles into half a sphinx, bony rear legs sprawling against the ground.

"Someone was bleeding," she says, dying. "And the former commanders were trying to tell me something, but I couldn't quite hear them."

Most of it is faint and unclear, piecing together what she could. They started out small and splotchy but the detail will grow, illuminating a new warning each time. A new wave of panic becomes her, heart speeding up against her better judgment to know it is too early to decipher the meaning without really talking to someone. Worrying Wildfire, however, isn't high on her priority list.
Trigedasleng · Common
all that wanting, all that aching, all that capacity for love:
it never belonged to you in the first place
gubraithian fire
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When the commander dropped to the ground, Wildfire immediately gravitated toward her, ignoring the stitch in her chest as she folded herself down beside Thuringwethil. She suddenly recollected their first meeting, when they had shared sleeping quarters on Redtail Rise. Just like that, the pincers around her heart and lungs eased. Her lips twitched at the corners, though the smile did not quite reach her amber eyes. They slanted in the Heda's direction as she whispered vague details of the vivid dreams that plagued her.

For a long moment, the yearling said nothing, wondering if Thuringwethil would say anything more. She didn't and the silence stretched, though not uncomfortably. During it, the Delta scooted closer, arcing in the opposite direction, their bodies crescents facing one another. She couldn't help but arch out her smudged snout, the tip of which touched against the Alpha's cheek in another gesture of comfort. She reflected on the commander's words, then drew in a long breath.

"I don't know what they were trying to tell you," she exhaled, pausing for a very long beat before adding, "but there's something I'd like to tell you." Even as the words slipped off her tongue, Wildfire's heartbeat suddenly ratcheted up to what felt like twice its usual speed. She really didn't want to have any regrets if her life was going to end—and, dramatics aside, it very well could end if the situation didn't improve soon—and the idea of time running out before she could tell Thuringwethil about her strange but powerful feelings was intolerable, even if Wildfire felt sure the Heda would never reciprocate.

If she was going to die young—before she could experience a relationship again, or master her trades, or become a mother—she wanted to die with as few other regrets as possible.
what do i do after all this survival?
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Wildfire makes herself comfortable, even inches a few until they're touching again. Her paw jerks, out of her control, another inch or two until one of her paws touches an opposing limb. Masking it as a small shift in her weight, she closes her eyes once her cool nose is touching her face again to enjoy the comfort. The isolation she puts around herself weighs heavy on her shoulders but there has always been an easiness in Wildfire she never seemed to address why. Her voice vibrates through her, and her heavy eyelids lift and rest along her slender nose.

"What?" she murmurs then, swimming too far into her own worry that she doesn't see the tension behind Wildfire's eyes.
Trigedasleng · Common
all that wanting, all that aching, all that capacity for love:
it never belonged to you in the first place
gubraithian fire
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Somewhere in there, between the words themselves exiting Wildfire's mouth and her mind and heart going a little off the charts, the yearling realized she had more or less brushed aside the commander's worries about her nightmares. She bit her lower lip and shifted guiltily, sneaking a glance at her companion's face to see if she looked upset. She didn't. Thuringwethil looked tired, a bit tense, but intrigued. Even if Wildfire had just yanked the limelight from her, it was clear she truly wanted to hear whatever it was she had to say.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to change the subject," the Delta apologized in a rush, scarcely stopping before she plunged onward, "it's just that... I feel like..." Her tongue felt clumsy and Wildfire sucked in a shaky breath, trying to steady herself and get out these all-important words. "I wanted you to know how I felt, in case anything happens." Wildfire couldn't bring herself to mention the possibility of either one of them (namely herself) dying, although the implication was pretty clear. "I just..." Oh my gosh, spit it out. "I'm weirdly attracted to you."

Oh, that hadn't come out right at all. Wildfire gasped quietly, cursing her foot-in-mouth syndrome, then hastily added, "I don't mean weird, like, bad weird. I just mean weird like—it's hard to describe," she continued, skin flushing and prickling with heat. She was beginning to feel very idiotic. She was trying to make a life-altering confession here and it wasn't coming out right at all. "I didn't know I could feel like this, toward another woman. But," she squeaked to a stop, amber eyes wide in the darkness as she stared at Thuringwethil like a deer in headlights, "I do."
what do i do after all this survival?
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Ooc — Kermy
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There’s a myriad of possibilities that run through her mind that Wildfire might need to tell her. She goes through a short list at first before the girl starts to speak, but her eyes become heavier than she intended. The last few days began to catch up to her, the weariness of her bones, and the emotional toll the dream had taken upon her were adding up. Her eyes widen for a moment as the girl began to speak, but only to try and stifle a yawn as she lowers her head back to the ground with ears alert on her head.

Thuringwethil tries but eventually she gives in to her heavy eyelids and within seconds the rest of her body slackens, ears lax on her head. Wildfire’s voice becomes white noise that isn’t quite enough to pull her back from an inevitable slumber. In the morning, she might remember some of the exchange, but for now the rest of the night ends in a dreamless sleep.
Trigedasleng · Common
all that wanting, all that aching, all that capacity for love:
it never belonged to you in the first place
gubraithian fire
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The I do lingered in the air like a vow and Wildfire gasped again, hastening into another verbal spindrift. "...but I know—" she began, voice hitching a little, throat working as she swallowed several times in a row. Her eyes followed the commander's gentle, sleepy drift down to the ground and her heart jumped into her throat, only to sink to the bottom of her stomach. "I know—" She exhaled as Thuringwethil's eyes closed. "...I know you don't feel the same way," she finished in a whisper.

She stood there, feeling severely awkward and more than a little idiotic, sneaking occasional glances at the dozing commander. Had she really fallen asleep in the middle of Wildfire's confession? Well, the Delta supposed that was one way of letting her down easy. She snorted, then sighed, then felt an overwhelming urge to cry. Quelling it, she looked down sadly at the top of the Heda's head, then slowly drew in a deep breath that expanded her chest.

Stepping forward, she lightly touched her nose to the tip of the Alpha's ear. Wildfire closed her eyes and lingered a moment, sending a silent well wish for sweet dreams. She then glided away into the darkness, disappearing in the direction of the rising sun just now peeking over the far horizon. Whatever happened to her now, at least she had one less regret.